"Yer a witch, Iris," said the man, his large, hairy face beaming down at her. She flushed with emotion, tears pricking her eyes. This random stranger didn't even know her and he comes rushing in the night to insult her? She barely heard Aunt Petunia's gasp of horror as she shoved down her tears.

"That's not very nice," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I don't think it's nice of you to call me that."

The man looked confused. "No, no, what do ye mean, Iris? Being a witch is the best thing in the world! Yer mum was a witch –"

Anger surged within her, but before she could say a word, Aunt Petunia shrieked.

"That's enough! That's enough!" she cried. "We've spent years trying to make that girl normal –"

"NORMAL?" boomed the man, drawing himself up to his full and considerable height. "NORMAL? Our Lily was one of the best damn witches to walk through the halls of Hogwarts – she was talented alright and I bet her Iris will be the image of her once she get the chance! And her Da –"

"That is enough, sir!" Uncle Vernon's voice bit through the air, his shotgun wavering from side to side.

"Wait, what about my Dad?" said Iris. "And my Mum – how did you know my Mum?"

"Yer Mum? You want to know about yer Mum?" The man sounded astonished. "Haven't they told you anything?" He jabbed his pink umbrella in the Dursley's direction. The three figures promptly shrieked and dove for cover. Iris couldn't help herself – a tiny giggle escaped.

"You mean you don't know anythen about Hogwarts?" continued the man. "Well that's just awful, no wonder you looked like a mouse in front of a cat when I came in; this is terrible."

"They took my letters," she admitted quietly. "They told me they were pranks."

The man reddened in fury and Iris took a step back, tripping on the corner of the rug and falling flat on her back. She fell hard and in the background she heard Dudley give a snort, just a like a fat –

There was a roar, a flash and a bang. The squealing continued and Iris craned her head just in time to see Dudley grasp his buttocks in pain as a curly little pig's tail grew.

Brilliant, she thought faintly. She felt her whole body being lifted into the air by a grinning, hairy-faced giant of a man.

"Always wanted to do that," he informed her cheerfully. "Oh! And before I forget –" He drew a slightly squashed package from the inner folds of his jacket and handed it to her. "Happy Birthday, Iris."