Never Underestimate a Determined Gryffindor.

Rating: M

Pairings: SSLM – eventually

ME: In this story the war is over…Sirius never died. Remus never got with Tonks. And as for Dumbledore…he didn't really die…he is just really good at acting!

Sorry…my characters may be out of character. But hopefully that won't bother you too much

Ron scowled at closed book before him, his eye beginning to twitch at the constant sound of pages turning. Lifting his gaze to his left, he saw Hermione, her eyes flying across the page. Turning his gaze to the right, he saw Harry practically bent over the table frowning at his book. Ron sighed…Damn potions.

"Ron you really should be studying for the potions test in two days. From what I heard it's going to be very difficult"

Ron frowned at Hermione, "How hard can it be"

The next day however Ron truly wished he had never said those words…

Ron was sitting in his normal seat next to Harry, when Snape strode into the room, robes flaring out behind him.

"This is your last chance to study for the upcoming test", Severus all but snarled.

Ron winced…oh fuck, the bat was angrier than ever. Harry and Hermione immediately opened their books, missing two sets of eyes focused on them and Ron banging his head on the table.

Ron lifted his head, to stare at Snape. Ron sighed, pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and began to write.

WHAT SNAPE HAS

His old potions job…considering Remus and Sirius took over the DADA position (much to Snape's Horror)

Students fearing him

Having students to torment

An order of Merlin first class (he's been wanting one for a while

WHAT SNAPE DOESN"T HAVE

A love for his new colleagues

A love for most of his students…

People skills

SEX

Ron's face broke out into a grin Snape didn't have sex that was the answer to his potions problems. Now to solve the question…who would have sex with Snape?

Picking up the quill again, Ron began to think…

LIST OF PEOPLE THAT COULD SLEEP WITH SNAPE

Ron paused, 'I should be through and consider everyone…'

Harry….maybe not Snape hates him

Hermione…..never mind I am beginning to think she likes girls

Parkinson…not going to happen

Zabini…just no

The ferret…blah that's just too gross.

Remus…doesn't he have thing for Sirius?

Sirius…isn't he pining after Remus?

Malfoy Senior…

"YES!"

Everyone turned to look at Ron, who had leapt up out of his seat, with a smile on his face.

"Mr Weasley…"

Ron turned pale, as he looked into the dark, angry eyes of one Severus Snape.

"Forty points from Gryffindor on account for disturbing the class…and detention tonight at 8"

Ron schooled his face into a frown…while on the inside he was cheering.

"Yes sir"

"Good now sit"

Ron sat down, quickly hiding his parchment in his book, and flipping to a random page and began reading.

After class, Ron ran from the dungeons leaving Harry and Hermione behind.

"Ron! What about dinner!"

Ron turned to look back at his friends, "I'll be there in a few mate, just got something important to do!"

Hermione looked at Harry a puzzled look on her face, "when does Ron put something before food?"

Harry shrugged…"maybe he's meeting someone?"

Hermione looked at Harry her eyebrows raised.

"Hey it could happen…." Harry trailed off in seeing Hermione's expression…"fine I'll ask him"

The two walked off not noticing three sets of eyes following their movements.

Running to Dumbledore's office, he skidded to a halt in front of the statue.

"Lemon Drop…Cockroach Cluster…oh come on! Blood Pop! Acid Pops, Chocoballs, Chocolate frogs, Canary Creams, ice mice, fudge flies, pepper imps? BLOODY HELL, just open up I need to get Snape Laid!"

Ron paused, as the door opened. His mouth fell open in shock…really? I need to get Snape Laid?

Ron shook his head and ran up the steps burst through the door, nodded to Fawkes and headed for the fireplace

A few minutes later, Ron's head was currently sticking out of the Malfoy fireplace.

"ANYONE THERE!"

Ron winced, as his voice echoed throughout Malfoy Manor.

Lucius Malfoy walked into his study to see a member of the Weasley family on his fireplace. Ron looked up to see the haughty, cold expression on Malfoy Senior's face.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?"

Ron smiled evilly up at Lucius… "Just hear me out"