AN: Just a little break from The Change. I realize it's the only fan-fiction I have up, and I wanted to add another. I know the idea is kind of over done, but oh well!

Side-note: I did google the proper titles for R. Epps and Will Lennox. If they are wrong please inform me, and I will change it. As of now it's "Captain Will Lennox" and "Sergeant Robert Epps".

Captain William Lennox walked into the human rec-room at the Autobot base, glaring at his fellow NEST member, Sergeant Robert Epps. The African-American could be seen taking up a whole couch, typing away on a laptop. He seemed oblivious to the fact that Will had come into the room, casually sipping from a can of Pepsi that he had beside him.

"Epps." Will began, catching the other's attention. "Remember this morning when you promised to help me clean up the mess Sunstreaker and Sideswipe made?" There he paused, until Epps slowly nodded. "Because you didn't show up I had to get Mikaela to help clean it up."

"Oops, sorry." Epps laughed, sitting up and setting the laptop to the side. "Sam sent me an email with a short list, and we've been going back and forth with it for the past couple of hours adding on to it."

Will narrowed his eyes, "What sort of list?"

Epps just grinned, "When we finish it you'll see it. You'll have to wait until we send it out to everyone."

"And how long will the wait be?" he asked, sitting next to his friend.

Epps shrugged, "Dunno. We plan to have others help add to it after the first version has been sent out."

"I can't wait." Will said dryly, trying to refrain from sighing.

The next morning he got an email notification from both Sam and Epps. The subject was titled exactly the same, and he didn't think it mattered which one he opened. Eating a donut, taking a moment to silently ask Primus that Ratchet doesn't come into the room, he opened one of the emails and began reading.

You know you're spending too much time around Autobots when:

1) You start to say slag, glitch, pit-spawned, frag, or another Cybertronian turned English cussword.
-If you need a refresher in Cybertronian cusswords just visit the med-bay whenever Sunny or Sides are in it. (Sam)

2) You hear the phrase "Sunny sides up" and think of one of the sets of Autobot twins.

3) You hear anything with the words "blow up" or "explosion" and you think of Wheeljack.

4) You hear anything with the words "shoot" or "shot" and you think Ironhide.

5) You now fear wrenches or medical checkups.
-In his defense, the Hatchet isn't actually that bad. When he's having a good day. (Epps)
-He has good days? (Sam)
-…good point. (Epps)

6) You look around for Ratchet before consuming anything deemed "unhealthy" for you.
-I once ate twenty pixie stix in his company as a dare. I wasn't seen for the rest of the day. (Epps)

7) You inadvertently think of A LOT of innuendos when riding in, or on, and Autobot.

8) You hear the word Prime used in a sentence and you think of the leader of the Autobots.
-He does have some very PRIME assets, heh. (Sam)
-This is why everyone wonders why Mikaela dates you. (Epps)

9) You see a Bumblebee, as in the insect, and think of Bumblebee the Autobot.
-Also, whoever said "Sam's been lying about being allergic to Bumblebee and it's having adverse effects on him" around Bumblebee just to see him freak out, I thank you. (Epps)
-Bumblebee wouldn't come around me for a week. I had to get Ratchet to explain to him I couldn't be allergic to him! Whoever said that will pay. (Sam)

10) You see a regular car that has been through the ringer and feel bad for it until you remember it is NOT an Autobot.

11) You start referring to Primus.

12) You see mustard and ketchup and you think Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.
-Some people even refer to them as such. (Epps)

13) You purposefully look up or think up completely illogical things to trip Prowl's glitch.
-No, don't put that! He'll be on to us! (Sam)
-Please, I'm pretty sure he already is after you proposed to Ratchet while he was in the med-bay. (Epps)
-Mustard and Ketchup paid me good money for that. (Sam)

14) You relate the Cybertronians to Harry Potter.
-You-Know-Who is good ol' Megsy. (Sam)
-Does that make you or the big O Harry Potter? (Epps)
-Optimus is Dumbledore. Remember the twins making him a beard out of Lemon drops? (Sam)
-So that was why! (Epps)

15) If someone refers to an orgasm as THE BIG O you accidentally think of Optimus.

16) You're ashamed that the movie Christine freaked you out concerning riding inside of an Autobot.

17) When something "illogical" happens you brace yourself for the ground to shake when Prowl hits it.
-When we visited family in California and I experienced my first real earth quake I was totally ready for it all thanks to Prowl. (Sam)

18) You don't react to any of the alarms going off because you know Red Alert is paranoid.
-You only bother to freak out when you see most of the Autobots start to scramble around.

19) You hear "TIMBER!" and you panic because you think you're about to be squashed under tons of metal, not a tree.

20) If everything appears to be calm and peaceful you keep a careful eye out for any possible pranks the twins could have set.

21) If a fellow NEST member is a bit paranoid and thinks there's footsteps following them or that they're being watched you tell them it's just Mirage.
-Though we do suggest sending them to Ratchet or the NEST doctor if this isn't because of alcohol or drugs. (Epps)

22) If you do eat something deemed "unhealthy" you feel slightly guilty.
-Sam actually gave up most of his junk food for Bumblebee! (Epps)
-After he saw me with five giant bags of cotton candy and I jokingly said "And they're all mine!" I think he had a mini-spark attack. (Sam)

23) You hear "tooth fairy" and think Ironhide.
-I still love that Ratchet told us that. (Sam)

24) You hear "power lines" and think Ratchet.
-And then Ironhide retaliated. (Epps)

25) You hear "interface" and think "robot sex".

26) Instead of jail or jail time you think "brig" or "brig time".
-Especially if a prankster is involved. Human or Autobot. (Sam)
-Both of us have been to the brig. The actual Autobot brig. There was an accident with too much glue…(Epps)

27) You sometimes wish you could use sound clips to talk like Bumblebee.

To be updated later.

Will closed the email, quietly chuckling to himself. He made a mental note to ask what happened with the glue incident, and when the rest of NEST could add to the list.