A/N: Welcome back! This is my first attempt at a sequel to something, and I hope that this lives up to expectations. Remember how I said I was going to try to pick up the pieces of my life? Didn't go so well, still working on it.
This story contains the same warnings as 'Broken'- major mentions of rape, cutting, abuse, depression, and suicide, but I'm hoping you all were expecting that.
I'm going to start by saying that updates will not be fast at all to begin with. I have band, and work, and getting ready for school. It doesn't help that I have no home computer (I'm posting this from work), so that poses a major problem. Once things have settled down in around mid-September I'll hopefully be able to commit to writing a little more (emphasis on hopefully- I have college applications and visits, and a bunch of other fun, senior year-related stuff, and the whole computer issue). But for now, tell me what you think about the start!
What would have been the significance of today, August 10th, is known to three people (including myself), that will read this story. I'm not going to say what it is, but those two that do know, just keep it in the back of your mind as you read, please.
For Evelyn, because she's my love bug, and I'm her hardcore punk rocker.
Disclaimer: I own my OCs and the plot. Any original NCIS characters belong to Don Bellisario.
"I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. You're a little late; I'm already torn," –'Torn', Natalie Imbruglia [Love this song. She is incredibly beautiful, and this song fits this series perfectly. And, well, it was awesome that I had a song that has the same name as the title!]
One week.
It had been seven days since Jenny had taken Jethro to Lizzie's grave; it had been five days since Maddie had been released from the hospital and into her aunt's care. Two days since Rudi Haas had been convicted of rape and sentenced to prison; nine days since everything had changed.
Currently, Jenny was in her study, a worn cardboard box on her desk. Digging through the box, she unearthed a tattered index card, a slightly-triumphant smirk on her face.
"Gotcha," she said, setting the card on her desk. Written on the card was both the office and cell number of Alexis Adams, and Jenny knew it would mean a lot to Patricia if she at least called her former therapist.
Now, the only problem was working up the courage to actually call the woman, who Jenny seriously doubted would remember one of her many patients from two decades ago.
After staring at the card for over five minutes, trying to weigh the pros and cons of calling in her mind and basically failing, she just pulled out her cell phone and punched in the office number before she lost her nerve. But, the number was disconnected, and Jenny almost gave up right then and there, at least now being able to say that she tried.
But she knew that she couldn't let Patricia-and Jethro, at that-down with her absymal effort, so she dialed the cell number and waited, her heart in her throat. A number of rings later, voicemail picked up, and she let out her breath when she realized it actually was Alexis' voice speaking.
"Hi, Alexis…this is Jenny Shepard. I don't know if you remember me at all, but I used to see you about twenty years ago. I was wondering if you were available to talk, or if you could at least direct me to someone that could help. Please call my cell back when you get this. Thanks."
Jenny's heart was racing when she hung up after leaving her message. It had been a long time since she'd actually admitted to needing help, save for the past week and a half, with both Jethro and Patricia- and this week had been very uncharacteristic of her. It had been something she'd thought she'd left behind her.
"Jen?" she looked up at the sound of Jethro's voice, and the front door shut loudly behind him as he walked towards the study. "Whatcha doin'?"
"Looking for a number; I promised Patricia," Jenny replied, and understanding washed over his face.
"Well, didya find it?" he asked, and she nodded, slipping her phone back into pocket as she stood, rounding her desk. Reaching his side she kissed his cheek lightly, her hand slipping into his. "Good."
"I'm having Patricia and Ashley over for dinner tonight; would you like to join us?" Jenny asked, walking with him out of the study and into the kitchen. "I understand if you don't want to be in a room full of estrogen, however."
"I happen to like Patricia, for your information," he said, and she raised an eyebrow, casting her eyes at him over her shoulder as they walked. "And I'd like to meet Ashley."
"Well be prepared for an…interesting evening," Jenny said, and he merely smirked, amusement in his feature.
"With you I've come to expect nothing less," he replied, and Jenny rolled her eyes.
"Did you call Maddie?" she asked when they reached the kitchen and she pulled out a pitcher of iced tea, pouring herself a glass. Her lover gave a nod, his face darkening slightly.
"She had a check-up, looks like the baby is okay," he replied, leaning back against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest but his fists clenched. Jenny knew how much it hurt him to know that Maddie was in such emotional pain and he couldn't fix it, but Jenny had been to the place where the younger woman was now. There were no easy solutions, and a lot of work would have to be done on Maddie's part to get back to a new sort of 'normal'.
"And how is she? How is staying with her aunt?" Jenny asked, gently pushing him towards another part of the subject.
"She's got a new therapist, thinks this one will help," he replied as he shifted uncomfortably, making Jenny sigh internally. This was a whole new frontier for him- therapy talk still wasn't his thing. "Her aunt has been helping too; helps that all her cousins are older."
"Well, that's very good news," Jenny said, placing the iced tea pitcher back in the fridge as she went on the other side of the counter, sitting on one of the stools. "I hope this is what she needs to start to put her life back together."
"Couldn't agree more," Jethro replied, snagging her glass of iced tea and taking a sip. "Oh, was this yours?"
"Funny," Jenny said, rolling her eyes. "How did wrapping up your case go?"
"Suspect put up a fight; DiNozzo's gonna have a nice bruise tomorrow," he replied, and Jenny's eyebrows tightened in concern.
"Were you hurt?" she asked, his eyes running over his body as though cataloguing what was wrong. He shook his head, a bemused look crossing his face.
"I'm fine, Jen," he answered, slipping his hand over hers. Flipping her hand over she laced their fingers together, using her free hand to push her thick crimson hair out of her eyes. Jethro's blue eyes scanned her face, studying her emerald green irises carefully as he squeezed her hand gently. "You doin' okay?"
"I'm okay," Jenny replied with a shrug of her shoulders, and Jethro let go of her hand to cup her cheek, turning her face back towards his when she glanced away.
"Tell me Jen," he said, studying her reaction as her eyes watered slightly, not looking as him as she spoke.
"I had a nightmare, early this morning," she replied softly, fear flickering in her viridian irises as she replayed the scene over and over in her head. "Haven't really been able to shake it."
"That why you called Patricia?" he asked quietly, and she nodded, biting her lip.
"You had your case, and…I wasn't in a great place around lunch," she answered, her teeth sinking further into her lip. "She just talked to me for a while, distracted me. Helped me work through the urge, and explain why it actually wasn't a form of control."
"I'm glad she could help," Jethro answered, but Jenny could pick up the tension coming from him.
"She pushed me to find a licensed therapist, though," she replied, not sure where the tension was coming from, and too tired to really push to find out what his problem was. "She can only help me so much, and I know that, it's just…it's easier for me to talk to her, someone I'm comfortable with, than opening up to a new therapist. But I know I can't keep pushing all my problems on her."
"I'm sure she doesn't see it that way," Jethro said, shaking his head slightly. "You know how much she cares for you, Jen."
"Jethro, I call the woman every single time I fall apart, and that's become quite frequent," Jenny replied, bitterness tingeing her tone. "She has her own life to live, and I can't run crying to her whenever life gets too hard for me to handle."
"Jen, Patricia wants to help you," Jethro said, cupping both of her cheeks in his hands and raising her eyes to his. "She just wants you to find someone who has made helping people their profession, because she wants you to get the help she knows you need. It isn't because she doesn't love or care about you-it's the exact opposite."
Jenny studied him, a hesitant smile spreading over her lips. He raised an eyebrow, confused as to her reaction.
"What?"
"You just never cease to amaze me," she replied simply, leaning over and kissing him lightly. "That's all."
He smiled, brushing back her bangs so that he could see her eyes. When he saw that all the fear and uncertainty had left the emerald orbs and had been replaced by glimmers of happiness and hope, he felt a tiny amount of pride hit him.
Seeing her smile was all he cared about at the moment.
A few hours later, dinner was almost done cooking, Jenny had changed into more presentable clothes, and Patricia and Ashley were knocking on her front door.
"Seriously Jen, your house hasn't changed since the last time I was here, like, twenty years ago," Ashley said as she stepped over the threshold, glancing around at the front hall. "Although it looks cleaner than before."
"A housekeeper does wonders," Jenny replied with a laugh, embracing her of her friends, taking a few seconds to whisper her thanks once again to Patricia for that afternoon. The older woman merely sent her a look that told her she knew how much she appreciated it. "Jethro's in the kitchen with drinks. You both know your way; I'll just hang up your coats and join you."
Patricia followed Ashley towards the kitchen while Jenny put away their coats and bags. When she arrived in the kitchen a few minutes later, Ashley was being introduced to Jethro.
"Jethro-I've heard a lot about you," the brunette said, shaking his hand. Jethro's eyebrow rose slightly as he shot a glance at Jenny, who shrugged. "Good things, I promise."
"It's nice to meet you Ashley," Jethro replied, a hint of a smile touching his lips. "And it's nice to see you again, Patricia."
"Have you been keeping our Jenny company?" Patricia asked, and Jethro couldn't help but read into the question more than he probably should have. He had a feeling that this was like meeting his lover's mother, and while it was comforting to know that Jen had someone she could trust...he knew his every move was going to be scrutinized by Patricia.
"When I don't have a case, yes," he replied honestly, and Patricia nodded, her sharp gray eyes studying him like a hawk.
"Patricia, stop playing Mom and let him relax," Jenny said, rolling her eyes as she handed a glass of white wine to Patricia and a glass of iced tea of Ashley. Jethro gratefully took the tumbler of bourbon from her, his hand falling to the counter behind her lower back as leaned against it. "It's nice enough that he came to this estrogen-filled dinner in the first place."
"That's mighty brave of you Marine," Ashley commented, nodding to him. "Jen, I'm thouroughly impressed. You can keep him."
"He's not a puppy, Ashley," Jenny said with an eye roll, feeling Jethro tense beside her slightly. She placed a gentle hand on his forearm, squeezing slightly to relax the tightened muscles.
"As your honorary big sister, I feel that my opinion is important. I'm just stating that he is a keeper, and that I think you've made a good choice," Ashley replied, shrugging. "No offense to you or anything Jethro, but I gotta look out for Jen, especially after..."
There was an awkward pause as Ashley stopped speaking, Bobby's name on the tip of her tongue.
"He knows about Bobby, and Lizzie, Ashley," Jenny said softly, her hand finding her lover's and weaving their fingers together. "No secrets between us."
"That's awfully brave of you," Patricia commented quietly, her gray eyes unreadable as she looked at her younger friend. Jenny met her gaze, raising an eyebrow slightly. Patricia mirrored the movement, the lines in her face deepening slightly, but Jenny couldn't tell if there was disapproval in her eyes or not.
"Can't have secrets if we want this to work," Jenny answered simply, shrugging her shoulders, feeling Jethro's hand tighten around hers at her words. "And we want this to work."
"God you two sound like a married couple already," Ashley said, shaking her head, amusement in her gray eyes. "I dig it."
"And you still sound like a teenager, only you're trapped in a middle-aged body," Jenny replied, rolling her eyes and tucking a loose crimson curl behind her ear as Ashley stuck her tongue out.
"I resent the middle-aged comment, I hope you know that," the brunette said, folding her arms over her chest. Jenny patted her arm and shot her a smirk, making the gray-eyed woman laugh as she shook her head.
"Come on, food's almost done. We're eating in the dining room, feel free to grab a seat."
Ashley dragged Jethro along with her, questions flying, while Patricia stayed behind to help-and talk to- Jenny.
"Patricia, do you have a problem with Jethro?" Jenny asked, turning to her friend and sighing, hands falling to her hips. Her green eyes were guarded, waiting for her friend's explanation of her actions.
"Jenny, I'll only have a problem with him if he hurts you," Patricia answered, watching as Jenny pulled a thick lasanga out of the oven and placed it on the stove, slipping off the oven mitts she was wearing to grab a knife and spatula.
"He won't, so why are you acting like me telling him things is a bad idea?" Jenny asked, cutting the lasanga into squares. She looked at Patricia, frustration in her green eyes.
"Jenny, your heart has already been broken once by this man."
"Because he lost his memory!" Jenny exclaimed before lowering her voice, remembering Jethro and Ashley in the next room. "I don't blame him for that, and neither should you. If anything, it's my fault."
"It's not your fault, Jen."
Startled, Jenny and Patricia turned towards the doorway, where Jethro was standing, hands in his pockets as he regarded the two women. He looked at Patricia, addressing her with his next words.
"I have no intention of breaking Jenny's heart, Patricia," he said, his blue eyes clear and serious, letting her know that what he said was the truth. "Both her and her heart are very important to me, and I will never willingly hurt her. I know that you worry about me, after what Bobby put her through, but I will never lay a hand on her in my life. She means everything to me, and I know what it's like to lose everything. I won't let it happen again."
Patricia's deep gray eyes studied the man in front of her silently for a few more seconds, searching his dark cobalt irises for any trace of doubt. When she found none she nodded, a slow smile spreading over her face.
"That's all I needed to hear," she said in a quiet voice, approval glimmering in the depths of her storm gray eyes. "As long as you don't break her heart or lay a finger on her, I trust you to keep her safe, and love her as best you can. That's all I ask that you do-please don't hurt my daughter. I can't lose another daughter. I only have two left."
Jenny swallowed heavily at the older woman's words; it was still amazing to her that Patricia viewed her as a daughter, even after all these years. Losing her mom at two, Patricia had been the maternal figure in her life to raise her; her father had done the best he could, but there were many things that a girl can't learn from her father. Patricia had taught her about her period and boys and make-up and all the changes her body had gone through as a teenager. But even Patricia's warnings of Bobby Austin hadn't stopped her from 'taming' the bad boy-not that she'd ever tamed him, simply become his punching bag.
"I will never hurt Jenny," Jethro replied firmly, his dark eyes finding Jenny's suddenly-wet green ones, holding her gaze as he spoke. "I'll keep your daughter safe."
Patricia nodded firmly, her eyes dancing between the two of them for a moment before a knowing smile spread over her lips, and she spoke again.
"I'll leave you two alone for a moment, and reassure Ashley that we're all still alive. Don't let the food get too cold Jenny,"Patricia said, slipping through the doorway and leaving the couple to themselves. Jethro made his way over to where Jenny was, his hands falling to her hips and his lips finding hers.
She kissed him back easily for a few seconds, breathing in everything about him to cement this moment in her brain. When she pulled away she opened her eyes to find his gazing back, her heart fluttered momentarily in her chest, and she bit her lip.
"Well, you've got mom and sister approval," she said, causing his lips to curve up into a smirk. "Thank you, for reassuring her."
"I wasn't just reassuring her, Jen," Jethro replied seriously, tilting her head up with his finger so that he could see her eyes. "Everything I said was for you too- and I meant every word. You mean everything to me, and I will never hurt you, not intentionally."
"I know that," Jenny whispered, her hands finding his cheeks and cupping them, pulling his face closer. "I trust you to keep my heart safe- it's in your hands now."
"As mine is in yours," he replied softly, his breath flowing over her lips. He smelled like bourbon; Jenny hadn't touched the drink in over two weeks, and she breathed the scent in, closing her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her again, and Jenny let herself get lost in him, the way he felt and tasted and smelled and kissed.
The kiss was getting more involved- and hands were beginning to wander- when a voice called from the dining room.
"Hey, Jen- we came here for food. I want my dinner!"
Breaking apart, Jenny smiled sheepishly, her arms still around Jethro's neck.
"Ashley tends to get grumpy when she doesn't eat," she explained, handing him two of the plates, taking the other two herself. "And expect comments from her- she tends to voice her opinions whether we ask for them or not."
"She kind of reminds me of Abby, in a way," Jethro admitted, following her towards the dining room.
"She is definitely eccentric," Jenny replied just as they reached the dining room. They entered and Ashley lit up at the sight of food.
"Lasagna? My favorite!" she said, grinning. "I haven't had it in forever. You're awesome Jen."
"So I've been told," Jenny replied, winking as she set a plate down in front of her friend. "Noemi made it, and I can assure you, it's delicious."
"I concur," Ashley said after taking a bite, her eyes closed as she savored the food. "Oh my goodness, Jen, this is fantastic. And you eat like this all the time?"
"On the days when Noemi works and decides that I'm not eating enough so she makes dinner, yes," Jenny answered, nodding. "She makes the best enchiladas I've ever eaten."
"Gosh can I come over when she makes those?" Ashley asked, her eyes widening slightly. "Or better yet can I bring them home to my children, so maybe they'll get off my back about my cooking?"
"Sure, I'll ask Noemi to just fix a batch next time she comes, and I can bring them over," Jenny answered, and Ashley grinned.
"You are literally the best Jenny," she said, and Jenny rolled her eyes.
"It gives me an excuse to see your family again," she replied, moving her food around her plate, not really that hungry.
"You can have them," Ashley said with a snort, taking a sip of her iced tea. "I mean it- any time you want to take them off my hands, you're more than welcome."
"Maybe I will," Jenny replied, liking the idea of a day with Giselle and Lilly. "I'll give you a call."
"Anytime," Ashley replied, before taking another bite of food. "Seriously, I need to eat here every night."
"Ashley, I swear, it's like you never eat," Patricia said, shaking her head at her daughter. "You have a husband who is quite handy in the kitchen."
"Yeah, and never home," Ashley replied, her eyes on her food and her mood suddenly darker. The table grew quiet, and Jethro cleared his throat, trying to disperse the awkwardness.
"So...how about this great weather we've been having?"
When all three women laughed, he knew he'd achieved his goal.
He could get used to dinners like these.
"There is not a thing you miss, and I could get used to this," -'I Could Get Used To This', The Veronicas
A/N: Do not expect fluff like this often. I can tell you there's one more cute-ish chapter, then we get into the nitty-gritty, deliciously angsty stuff that I know all of you (at least secretly) love about this storyline. :)