Author'sNote: Alright, as promised this is the final chapter. I am feeling quite sad to be no longer writing this, but would like to say thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review and for the encouragement and motivation along the way. If you ever come back, I hope that you will find a much more streamlined version of this fic, where I have been busy editing. Especially the first few chapters where I knew where I was going, but not sure how to get there, I never would have made it to chapter 23 without you guys. Thank you!

Chapter Twenty Three: The End and a New Beginning

When Charles had woken it was to find himself back in his suite in the Ritz hotel, with someone's warm hand clasped around his arm. A small and familiar body was tucked up behind him, the embrace full of comfort. Charles kept his eyes tightly closed wishing that he could fall back into his dreams once more, where his heart didn't ache with every mournful breath. Rolling over, Charles gently pushed the halo of blonde hair off of Raven's face, and smoothed it back over her head. He looked down at her peaceful face and knew that no matter how much it hurt to have destroyed things with Erik, the thought of losing Raven would have ended it all.

Having been thus disturbed, Raven opened a bleary eye, mumbled something with a sleepy smile of good morning. She rolled away from him and stretched, flicked the duvet back and shuffled to the edge. She was wearing pink bunny pyjamas, and had never reminded Charles of the little girl she had been more. He was in danger of reminiscing. It had been a long time since Raven had wanted or needed to sleep next to him. When they had been children, Raven would often sneak into his arms whenever a thunderstorm was creeping towards them, or some other kind of frightening event was threatening to envelope them. It was a sorry tale of their childhood to know that it happened a lot, after all, there had been no one else to turn to save for each other.

Knowing that she hadn't left him all night, made his feel guilty. He must have disturbed her during the night, maybe calling out into the dark, perhaps even crying. His eyes felt dry and scratchy as if secret tears had been falling into his pillow. Raven had held him tight all night like a child. Her worried expression made his heart ache even more, for all that he had asked of her and still would do. Charles knew he would need all the comfort and love that she had to give.

"Charles," Raven said turning to look at her as she stood. Charles noticed that the sleeves of her top were too long and hung over her hands. "I hate to see you so unhappy. Please let's go and find Erik, he has to know what really happened. If I see you crying again it will break my heart."

The students knew something was up when Charles arrived at the flat in the early afternoon. Hank gave Raven a blushing shy smile as she followed Charles into the flat. From the mess, it was clear that Erik wouldn't come home whilst the students were here. He would also not want the confrontation.

Angel was busy playing mummy once again, boiling the kettle and making everyone coffee and tea. She'd clearly had everyone packing their bags this morning, and when Charles had a moment of peace after hearing everyone's stories about how much fun they had had last night, he could see in Angel's mind that she knew everything that had happened. Her guess was scarily accurate. She had known that Charles would want them all to go home so that he could try and sort things out with Erik, but also that he would be too polite to ask.

"Angel wants to go back to Oxford soon, we're mostly packed and ready to go. Apparently no one is allowed to be hung over today," Alex complained yawning. He took an extra large swig of coffee and stretched back on his chair. "Shame we cant take your car professor, we'd be home in no time."

Charles tried not to notice Hank and Raven whispering together in the kitchen, but it was clear they were making plans to meet up again. Or at least Raven was making plans and Hank was just agreeing in a rather stunned and stuttering voice.

Thank you Angel, I think you've understood me more than anyone.

Charles saw Angel smile into her cup, and when everyone was in danger of relaxing too much, she had them all up and searching for the rest of their belongings.

"I'll call a taxi," Charles offered. He handed Angel some money. "I brought you here, so let me get you home."

Raven sat with Charles on the sofa, holding his hand as they stared at the door, the tension growing. They continued in this way, for the rest of the afternoon until Charles worried that Erik wouldn't ever come back. The signal being sent was pretty clear. When he had almost given up hope there was a new sound. Charles' heart began to beat widely as they heard a car pull up outside, then silence before hearing footsteps from the lift to the door. Then came the jingling of keys before the door slowly began to open. Charles felt Raven's hand tighten in his, and knew she was worried. It was as if the moment lasted forever.

Erik stepped into his flat then froze. For a moment he looked at Charles with stunned surprise, as if he hadn't expected him to be here. If it had been any other weekend Erik would have been right, but Charles had been prepared to wait all evening and drive through the night if he'd have to. But then Erik's eyes narrowed and his expression became less friendly. He slammed the door behind him. For the briefest of seconds Charles felt momentarily scared. Erik was suddenly overwhelmingly intimidating.

"For God's sake Charles, what do you want now?" Erik demanded, although his face was full of anger, he sounded more weary than irate in this moment. But still Charles felt Raven tense, maybe taking her cue from him.

"I have to talk to you," Charles said, knowing that he was begging.

"Well I can hardly stop you, can I?" Erik replied, his words cutting. He looked at Charles as if he was determined not to care about anything Charles said. He stood as if he was busy telling himself that if he stayed very still, then this would all be over quicker. "Let me guess, it was all pretend? That you were just tricking Shaw?" He paused, seeing hope in Charles' eyes before he turned away. "I've heard all of this before. Only now I am finding it hard to believe you."

"I know you are Erik, but please just let me explain." Rather than console Erik, Charles' pleading voice only seemed to anger him.

"How do I know you haven't been using your mind tricks on me all this time?" Erik asked knowing that he was being unfair. His voice suddenly raged and he stepped forward threateningly. Charles realised that this wasn't a recent concern; he had been waiting to be accused of this for a long time. After all, everyone he had ever confided in had eventually come to distrust him.

"How can you say that?" Raven demanded outraged, suddenly leaping to her feet and surprising them both. "You know Charles would never do anything like that! He had a hard enough time convincing himself to use his powers on Shaw, and he might never had done if it wasn't for Shaw's interest in me. Don't you dare Erik! Don't!"

Erik looked admonished for a moment, Raven's distress had been so heated that he didn't dare speak. He stepped forward looking slightly less certain of his own anger and took a seat in the armchair opposite Raven and Charles. Charles had said nothing whilst Raven had sprung to his defence, but Erik could see that he was digging his fingers into the sofa so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. Erik didn't want to upset Charles; he hadn't even wanted to have this conversation until he knew how he felt about all that had happened. But there was nothing else to be done. Charles needed to say what he had to say, and Erik was going to have to listen. But Erik whilst he might allow Charles to speak, he was feeling too hurt to make this easy. He knew it was selfish, but he just wanted to be angry with Charles right now and he wasn't ready to forgive.

"I had to do it Erik, I hadn't wanted to, but I had no choice. I thought Shaw might be planning something, only I didn't know what it was," Charles said with desperation, as if he was racing against time. "His mind, although open to me, had many dark places within it. Places that I couldn't see through. I thought it was because I had been meddling, I thought I was hurting him. I've never seen a mind like it."

Erik had leant forward, as if leaning into Charles' words. He was interested in spite of himself, and his frowning face was at odds with the interest in his eyes. Raven sat down slowly, her attention fixed wholly on Charles, and it was the first time she had heard him share what he had been hiding from them both. Her breath was caught in her chest.

"When I saw Emma Frost, I knew that Shaw had started to distrust me. He suspected me to be a mutant, and that I was playing with his mind. Those dark places were the work of Frost, hiding herself from me, spying on me through Shaw's eyes."

"So you decided to make me believe Shaw's crap?" Erik said looking pained. "Made me believe you were still sleeping with him? Good God Charles, how could you do this to yourself? To us? What that man must think he's done with you! Can't you understand why I am jealous…" Erik stopped; he closed his eyes briefly as if he wished he could take those last words back.

Charles knew that Erik had meant to let him see his true feelings, that he still cared, and that he was hurt. Charles looked down at the ground ashamed. Erik was right, the images he had put in Shaw's mind had humiliated him. Emma Frost had taunted him about them, having seen everything that had been meant only for Shaw. But Charles knew that he couldn't have come out of this unscathed, in order to get away, he'd had to sacrifice something to Shaw. Humiliation in the end had been a small price to pay. He saw Erik's expression waver, as if he was ready to reach over and take his hand.

"Shaw tired of me because I was begging him to stay. When he saw how you reacted be bought all the lies I placed in his mind. Your reaction made everything real, because it was real. Emma was watching you Erik, she would have known a fake reaction. Shaw wanted to know that you hated me, and would have accepted nothing less. Not telling you the plan saved us," Charles paused. He saw the wavering expression in Erik's eyes, torn between wanting to believe and waiting to hold tight to his anger. "But I know that it broke something between us and I am so sorry. The moment Shaw walked away from me, it was the moment he thought he had won."

"Shaw is happy believing the lie," Raven said turning to look at Erik. "Emma Frost didn't care whether Charles went with Shaw or not, as long as he wasn't a threat to them. Shaw wont come looking for Charles, because he wants to believe he is the only one Charles could love. He wants to think Charles is suffering for the loss of him. He is so cruel."

Erik said nothing. It all made sense, he knew this in his heart, but he couldn't forget how betrayed he had felt. He knew as well as anything that given time he would forgive Charles, but it was all too soon. His mind couldn't catch up with what was happening, and he felt stupid and unwilling to admit he was wrong. His anger at Shaw was so mixed up that it was being directed at Charles. He wanted to hurt Charles. Then the feeling shamed him.

"Charles… Go home. I'll…"

"Shaw is a mutant," Charles said bluntly, the words coming out of his mouth without a thought behind them. He didn't care what he said, if it made Erik stop looking so hurt and brought him back to him.

"I know," Erik replied shortly. "You already know I know this… so why are you telling me?" Erik shook his head. "Charles you need to leave. I have to think about this. I'll call you."

Charles looked at Raven then back at Erik. It was clear that he didn't know what to do. Erik could see the conflict in his face; he was worried that if he walked out of here he might never get that call that Erik was promising. But Charles also knew that nothing would be achieved tonight, and with a heavy heart and a sickening feeling in his stomach, he stood and waked towards the door. The steps he took were heavy, taking him far way from what he wanted first. He walked past Erik as if he was willing him to reach out and stop him, but Erik remained where he was, and Charles opened the door to stare out at the bleak and empty corridor leading to the lifts.

He didn't know if Raven was following him, because he didn't dare look back in case his resolve broke and he started begging Erik to reconsider. But Erik hadn't said he'd wanted to end things, he'd just asked for some space, and Charles couldn't deny him that. It was a small price to pay in the hope of winning him back. He would hold on to that hope forever.

"He told me this would happen," Raven said as the front door swung closed. "That he would lose you because of what he had to do to Shaw. I am sorry that he chose me instead of you, but I was too frightened to tell him to chose differently. Please don't punish him for this, you don't know how much it will destroy him… and I will never forgive myself."

Erik stared at Raven unseeing; his nerves were frayed and about to break. She couldn't possibly know how much it hurt to turn Charles out of his home, and to see that despairing look in his eyes. Had he been more of a man he would never have let any of this happen in the first place. He should have punched Shaw the moment he had suggested anything had happened between him and Charles, and dealt with the consequences. As it was he could hardly even look Charles in the eye, because the reflection that he saw there shamed him. They had both let themselves be touched by the darkness that was Shaw's life, and they couldn't escape how it had shaped them. It couldn't be forgotten.

Oxford had become a lonely place, when it never had been before. He felt like an outsider, a lost soul in a large city that no longer wanted him. Even his work could not hold his attention like it once did, his mind was wandering along roads that would have once alarmed him. To the outsider nothing had changed, his students kept producing good work and were progressing well, his lectures were always fully attended, and one of his recent papers had had just been accepted for publication in his favourite journal. These should have been happy times, but they were not. He felt more lost than ever.

Nothing could distract him from the loss of Erik, the constant aching in his heart crept upon him from the moment he woke to the moment he closed his eyes at night. But even in his dreams Charles could get no rest, he relived his last moments with Shaw over and over, until he wasn't sure he could go on. Another weekend had come and gone, but once again no trip to London. Charles had locked himself away with his work, ignoring the days passing him by. When he felt himself thinking too much, he hid in the labs with Hank.

After a month of floundering in his empty new life, and when he thought he could bear no more, Hank had approached him nervously with an idea, something unofficial and highly dangerous. It had been impossible to ignore the fact that the students had been coming to him with too many questions. Questions that Charles had been unable to answer, about what would happen to them all now. They meant of course, what would happen now that they all knew each other to be a mutant.

Surely life couldn't just continue as it had done? With everyone looking the other way, and ignoring what was all screaming at them. But it wasn't until Hank had revealed his project in Charles' office one morning, presenting him with a blueprint plan of something otherworldly, that Charles realised he couldn't pretend this wasn't happening anymore. He had caused this, and he couldn't abandon these young people, not when they clearly needed him.

"I'm calling it the Cerebro," Hank announced, after he had placed the drawings over the top of Charles' desk, obscuring everything else, covering his old life with the new. "It will help us locate more mutants."

"And by the name of this machine, I assume I relies upon someone like me to use it," Charles said looking it over. From the sketches and the mathematical equations written and scribbled in all the free spaces of the page, it also looked highly dangerous and volatile.

"Correct," Hank replied grinning. It was clear that he had never even considered that Charles might want to shy away from this, and busy his head in the sand. He had no idea how much Charles just wanted to run away. His faith shook Charles' very soul. "Just imagine all those people who are like us, hiding in secret. Surely it is not right to let them stay like that? They should have a choice."

"What choice?" Charles asked looking up from the plans into Hank's young and trusting face.

"To be with us!" Hank replied as if it was obvious. "To find out what they can do, with people who are not afraid of them. Surely, everyone has the right to that?"

"Hank, I do not intend to take this any further. It is not for me to say how other people live their lives. Maybe these other mutants don't want to be found."

"I didn't know that I wanted to be found, but I couldn't go back. Besides, Emma Frost said…"

"Emma Frost said what?"

Hank wouldn't answer, but Charles didn't need to hear anymore. It was obvious Emma had made her wrongful conclusions public. Hank had thought that they would all be working together now, for goodness knows what, which explained why everyone had been looking at Charles to lead them.

After this revelation, Charles had not stepped back into the lab for the next few days, and it was once again Friday, and another week had slipped by. His lecture was due to begin in half an hour, and he was feeling nervous. He didn't know why, only that he had been purposely avoiding Hank, Alex and Sean for the best part of the week.

The lecture theatre was full when he arrived, for some reason the students had been taking to arriving early these days, and were always in their seats by the time he walked through the door. He had a slide presentation prepared for today, to introduce a new topic in the syllabus, in a concise way. He dimmed the lights almost immediately and started the projection. As he stood at front of he room and clicked the slides on, the nervous feeling began to grow. There were butterflies in his stomach, and his cheeks felt as if they were burning. He felt as if he was under a burning spotlight as he spoke.

Charles had never been shy. He had been many other things, but never shy. He had no reason to be blushing in front of his students, there was not a question in the world regarding this particular topic that he wouldn't have been able to answer, and yet the nervous feeling wouldn't go away. He was glad when the next hour rolled around, and the lights returned to their brightness and the blinds on the windows were opened. It was only as he closed down his laptop that he realised he'd had an extra student. Erik was watching him from one of the seats, now sitting alone as the students filed out of the room.

"Excellent lecture Professor Xavier, you almost had me raising my hand to try answering your questions," Erik smiled genuinely, his posture friendly. He stood and walked down the many rows of seats until he reached the front. "You are as popular as you ever were. Maybe more so."

"I'm glad that you didn't answer my questions, I would have ended the lecture early had I known you were here."

Erik grinned, as if that idea pleased him. But Charles was nervous, he didn't know why Erik was here, and this sudden renewal of friendship from Erik was unsettling. Charles had prepared for more anger, but this was something he hadn't expected.

"You said that you would call," Charles accused, keeping his distance.

"And here I am, calling on you."

Charles waited for more, but Erik said nothing. His gaze burned upon Charles' skin in way that made the heat rise in his blood, and his face flush. Charles dropped his gaze.

"Erik if you've come to end things, please just tell me now," Charles pleaded. He didn't think he could take another moment of this waiting. Surely after all this time, Erik had realised how much easier his life was without him.

"I haven't come to say that," Erik replied gently. Charles could feel him trying to catch his eye, but refused to look up.

"Then what?"

"Raven came to see me," Erik explained, carefully choosing his words as if he was expecting Charles to start running away in any moment. "She told me that you were planning to leave Oxford and go back to New York. But she couldn't tell me why. Charles I was afraid to come here, I thought you might turn me away. I should never of accused you of altering my mind, I am sorry. But when I heard you were leaving…"

"Not until my term ends," Charles said suddenly, not believing what he was hearing. Erik had been afraid that he would be turned away? All this time waiting, and Erik had been worrying too? "But she had no right telling you that. I'm not leaving because of us."

"Then why are you leaving?" Erik asked stepping forward.

Charles turned and opened his briefcase; slowly he pulled out some papers and held them to his chest hesitantly. Charles met Erik's eyes nervously and held the papers out with a shaking hand.

"This is for you," he said as Erik took the papers from him. He waited an anxious moment as he watched Erik read them.

"But this says that I own Hellfire in its entirety. Shaw no longer has any claim… You bought Shaw out?" Erik asked disbelievingly. "You know I can't accept this."

Charles shook his head.

"I've been thinking on what Emma Frost said, about me leading mutants into the future. She was crazy of course, but it hasn't stopped the students treating me as if they expect something more. Hank said something the other day that has been haunting me; I can't forget it no matter how much I try."

"What did he say?" Erik asked. It hurt him to think how he had left Charles to deal with this all alone. He had freed them all from Shaw, now he had freed Erik too, and Erik had repaid Charles by turning his back on him.

Charles took a deep breath as if this whole conversation was agonizing for him.

"He said that mutants should be given the choice of whether they remain in hiding or whether they wish to join others like themselves. Hank is building some kind of machine that will use my powers to find other people like us Erik. I realised then that I don't have a choice, I have the means to help others, and so I must."

"Is this what you want?" Erik asked concerned.

"I don't want to start a war Erik. But I fear what Shaw might be planning. He is collecting mutants too, and I don't think it is for any good purpose. I can't let him be the only choice these people have, perhaps with us, they might have a better life."

"With us?"

"I meant… with me, in a place where they will be safe."

"I'm not letting you go anywhere without me Charles. You don't get to leave me behind, not after everything that has happened. I might never really understand you, but I cannot just pretend that you are not the most important person to me. However I might wish to."

Charles frowned.

"You want to forget me?" he asked.

"It would be easier," Erik concluded. "But no, I don't want to forget you. I want to be with you Charles. I'll come to New York with you if you'll have me. We can look for mutants together."

Charles smiled. His heart was swelling; he hadn't lost Erik, because he was right before him. They were finally equals, every secret forgotten and of no value, they were about to remake the world anew. But still, Charles knew that there was something about this that they would never see eye to eye upon.

"You do not want me to do this," Charles said after a time. "You don't think that I can."

"I think you are being very naive, but I will not try to stop you. I think Hank is right, mutants should be allowed to live a life without fear of themselves. But a gathering of mutants will appear as a threat. The world will not accept it."

"What if it is a school, a place of learning? I hoped that you would take those papers and start a new club with me in New York. Because I am going to run my own school, for mutants, in the empty house that I grew up in. And when I do, that place will no longer be just a painful memory, but somewhere I want to be… with you."

Erik shook his head.

"A school. And what happens when Shaw finds out, all your hard work will be destroyed. He'll figure out exactly what you did to him in that club, and I highly doubt that if he wants to hurt you for it, Emma Frost will stand in his way. She might have protected your secret this time, but if you set yourself up against them, and she wont be so indifferent again."

They stared at each other in silence.

"I'll take the chance if you'll come with me?" Charles asked in a small voice. "I hadn't even dreamed that you would want to… I didn't dare believe you would forgive me."

"Charles, in this we have both been stupid, had I told you right from the moment you arrived in my life that you were the only thing I'd ever wanted, then none of this would ever have happened. Had you never thought that there was something wrong with you, and that you had to pretend to be something you were not, you never would have met Shaw. But it happened. Now we have the power to take a new path, and I want to walk it with you."

"It will put you in danger."

"I will wait to see how the world turns before I decide where I stand. But right now, those kids are right, you're the only one who I would follow."

"I don't want you to follow me Erik, I rather you stood beside me," Charles smiled "I know with you I could do anything."

"And Raven?"

"Raven will come with me. She has a desire to try her hand at Broadway."

Erik smiled and pulled Charles into his arms, tucking Charles in close to him where he felt right to be. Erik knew that this was not his journey, but he would follow Charles until he found his place he had been searching for. His future might be uncertain, but he knew that in his heart he would love Charles forever, not matter where the world might take them. They would take only the best of themselves across the Atlantic and start anew. Together.

The End