He should have known. Shinobi on long-term spying missions - as in the ones that lasted for years or even decades at a time - ran the risk of it happening. He'd seen - and like an idiot - had completely ignored the warning signs. The blackouts had been getting worse lately, and now that he thought about it, it had happened before. Running through his memories chronologically, there was maybe a decade or two, perhaps even three missing between the Valley of the End and the day he'd pulled the Kyuubi from its seal in a failed attempt to destroy Konoha. A decade or more in which "Tobi" had had control of his body. Harmless idiotic Tobi whom nobody would suspect of really being Uchiha Madara.

The first inkling he had that he'd made his Tobi mask a little too well had been when he'd woken up in some trashy apartment covered in glitter with a Konoha headband tied around his neck like a fucking dog collar. He hadn't realized that that was what it was at the time, as the last thing he'd remembered before his blackout had been drinking a little too much, alright, alot too much. When he'd opened his eyes to find that he miraculously didn't have a hangover and that the sun streaming in through the massive window wasn't pure agony, he was half on and half off a rock hard platform bed with a small child snuggled up to his chest. A small blond child with rather familiar looking whisker marks that he'd last recalled seeing on a newborn infant.

He didn't have a fucking clue what he'd done the night before, but somehow he'd ended up with the current Kyuubi Jinchuriki in his arms and another chance to destroy Konoha. All he'd have to do was...

He had shoved the sleeping child who was dressed in a set of panda pyjamas off of him, and lay it out, preparing to gain control of the Kyuubi who would no doubt rant and rave and threaten to eat him and his worthless former clan like it always did when the door to the apartment opened, the current Hokage stepped inside, and turned to look at him.

"Uchiha-san. While I thank you once again for coming out of your retirement to look after Naruto despite your considerable age, I must ask that you curb the boy's prank pulling tendencies, and that you not aid him in their execution." The Hokage said, pointedly looking at the purple glitter that he and the Jinchuriki to a lesser extent were covered in. "Now that the formalities are over, I must say that I'm glad to have you back since things were getting rather boring around here. Replacing Danzo's underwear with lacy panties was pure genius, as was glitterbombing the Uchiha's secret coup planning session."

He'd blinked, wondering if one of his drunken experiments with the Mangekyo had hurled him into an alternate universe. Izuna had sworn that that had happened to him once, and he hadn't believed him considering how smashed his brother had been before he'd vanished the night before. It had seemed so unbelievable at the time, come on, an evil twin who wandered around wearing an open-fronted shirt despite the fact that it was the middle of autumn and a purple assbow, and an orange wearing ninja that said "Dattebayo" with every sentence who wouldn't stop calling him Sasuke and kept trying to drag him to a place called...

"Tobi-jiichan! We're going to have so much fun together today-ttebayo!" the small panda-suited jinchuriki who was now awake yelled as he launched himself at him and completely knocked him off the bed he'd been perched at the edge of.

Tobi?

Oh fuck.