Of Leporids and Men

Author: Carla, aka cali-chan
Rating: PG-13.
Genre: CRACK. Oh, the crack. Also some romance, fluff, maybe a bit of drama.
Pairings: Freddie/Sam.
Canon/timeline: Most likely post-series. Established Freddie/Sam relationship.

Summary: She looked down at the thing, and it raised its scrunchy face at her, complete with twitchy ears, twitchy nose, and twitchy whiskers. "...Can I eat it?" Carly and Freddie looked at her in abject horror. Crackfic, fluff, established Freddie/Sam.

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It was Sam Puckett's birthday, and she was eager to open some presents.

"Come on! What's taking you guys so long? I want to open more presents!" she exclaimed, appropriately enough, in the direction of Carly's room, where her best friend and her boyfriend had disappeared to over five minutes ago, under the premise of getting a present they'd stashed there for safekeeping.

The blonde was comfortably strewn on the couch surrounded by the remnants of colorful paper that were once carefully wrapping her gifts. Instead of throwing her a party this year, they'd decided to just go out to eat at some fancy rotisserie, which Sam personally thought was an inspired idea. She had this delicious Turkish dish made out of pork and lamb (Freddie called it a Shawarma) which she loved. Best way to start a birthday was with delicious meat.

After dinner they came back to Carly's place, where she started opening her presents. Spencer gave her a huge box, which turned out to have several smaller boxes inside, the smallest of which held three concert tickets. Tiny little her gave the 6-foot-tall, fully grown up man a noogie for tricking her, but afterward she thanked him anyway- she'd been wanting to go to this concert for a while, and now she could take Freddie and Carly with her as well.

Mrs. Benson gave her a bottle of flowery perfume Sam was never going to use, and a book about heart disease, which the crazy woman thought was appropriate after the display of calories and cholesterol that was their dinner. Heeding Freddie's warning that she really needed to start getting along with his mother, Sam thanked her, albeit with a roll of her eyes, and then discreetly shoved the book under the cushions of Carly's couch, never to be heard from again.

Carly got her a necklace with an obsidian pendant, which she thought was nice, and also renewed her subscription to Meats of the World, which she thought was awesome. Then after Mrs. Benson left to go to her apartment and Spencer drifted to the kitchen to find something for dessert, both her and Freddie went up to Carly's room, which made Sam think she may have had something to do with Freddie's present as well. She wondered just what the big secret was.

She didn't have to wait too long, though, as Carly responded to her bellow with a rushed "Hang on a sec!" and less than a minute later, she heard the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. She straightened up on her seat, ready to receive the wrapped box they were about to hand her. Only they never handed her anything, and instead just stood in front of her, all smiles as Freddie held something small, roundish, white and fluffy in his arms.

"Happy birthday!" they both exclaimed, Carly motioning toward the... thing.

Sam said nothing; only kept looking from the ball of fluff in Freddie's arms, to the big grins in Carly and Freddie's faces, to the ball of fluff again. Before she could say anything, Freddie moved forward and carefully lowered the little creature onto Sam's arms. "It's a bunny!" he exclaimed, excited. Carly was practically glowing as well.

She looked down at the thing, and it raised its scrunchy face at her, complete with twitchy ears, twitchy nose, and twitchy whiskers. "...Can I eat it?" was the first thing she blurted out.

"SAM!" both Carly and Freddie exclaimed, looking at her in abject horror. Freddie rushed to take the bunny away from her again, and she rolled her eyes. Well, it's not like she'd eat it right now, she thought. She'd at least cook the thing first, obviously...

Good thing she didn't voice this last thought out loud, though, because the wide-eyed expressions they were already sporting were making her uncomfortable enough. "It's a pet!" Freddie exclaimed, throwing her a glare and cradling the creature like it was a an orphaned baby.

She threw a surreptitious look at the animal. It twitched its nose at her, again. "It looks like something my sister would wear," she deadpanned. And it was true, too; whenever Melanie visited, it always seemed like she was carrying at least one fluffy accessory on her person. Sam took great joy in telling her she looked like a walking pom-pom.

"Be serious," Carly stated, still that note of reproach in her tone. Sam sighed, relenting with a "fine, fine," and a "gimme" gesture. Freddie paused for a bit, trying to carefully measure her true intent, before finally handing the little creature back to her.

That was about the time Spencer realized there was a cute critter in their living room. He immediately left the pint of ice cream he'd pulled out of the fridge on the kitchen counter so he could rush in and pet the bunny, making funny faces at it all the while. Carly laughed. "What are you going to name him?" she asked her blonde friend.

Sam scratched the furry creature between the ears as she thought about it. "I think I'll name him Fredward."

Spencer looked at the bunny with a critical eye, then at human Freddie, and then back at the bunny again. "They do kind of look alike," he quipped with a nod, narrowing his eyes at the creature as if that somehow allowed him to see the resemblance better.

Hearing that, Freddie chuckled, and Carly "aww"-ed. "You're going to name him after your boyfriend? That's adorable!" she cooed, stretching a hand to pet the cute critter in her best friend's arms.

Sam grinned, now mischievous. She clutched the bunny more steadily. "Yeah. 'Cause then I could confuse Fredward by talking about Fredward in front of him but he wouldn't know I'm actually talking about the other Fredward and not him, so he'd think I was talking about him and not Fredward."

Her explanation was met with three befuddled stares. "...What?" Freddie asked.

Sam smirked. "Exactly."

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"Alright, Freddie. These are the rules," she said, staring straight at him with a stern expression. "See, my mom doesn't care what we do in my room, but if we bother her, she'll kick you out, no questions asked. You don't wanna piss her off, so no funny noises. Second," she continued, putting her hands on her hips, "don't touch my stuff unless I give it to you. Don't want you getting your germs in any of my things." She twisted her nose, as if just imagining it was grossing her out.

"Third: stay away from my bed. My bed is my throne. It is hallowed ground, alright? So stay off it. And don't even think that being all cute means I'm going to let you get fresh with that rule." She pointed a finger in his direction, eyebrows raised under her fringe as if to emphasize her point. "Fourth: If by some miracle there's food in the house, Mama gets first dibs," she said turning her finger to point at herself with a self-satisfied expression. She looked at him again.

The bunny twitched his ears at her.

She shook his head at his unresponsiveness. "And just don't pee anywhere," she concluded with a sigh, standing up from where she was sitting, on her carpet, "or I'm going to have to put you back in your cage. That would be a buzz kill, wouldn't it?"

She grabbed a bag of Cheetos from her desk, and raised the volume of her crappy old stereo as loud as it got. She alternated for a few minutes between dancing outrageously and looking under piles of clothes and random items for her laptop. She'd used it the day before, she knew, so how had it wound up buried under so much crap?

Picking up her backpack to take out the charger (one of these days she needed to start carrying around the actual laptop instead of just the charger cord), she snuck a glance at Freddie again. He was in the exact position he had been in ten minutes previous, when she turned on the music. Now, it's not like she had ADHD or anything, but she would've thought staying that still was hard for any creature, especially since bunnies had a reputation for being very skittish.

She put the charger on her bed, dropped her backpack and knelt beside the little animal. "Are you dead?" she asked, lightly poking him on his fluffy side. Freddie flicked an ear at her, almost like he was trying to swat her away. Alright, good enough answer for her. She narrowed her eyes at the bunny, thoughtful. "So, is that any fun?" she asked, then decided to try for herself, flopping down on her belly in front of him. She rested her chin on her forearms, trying to imitate the bunny's neutral expression, just for kicks. Anyone who came into the room at that moment would think she was having a staring contest with her new pet.

It only took her about a minute to grow tired of the stillness. She grabbed her bag of snacks. "Cheeto?" she asked the bunny, extending a deliciously cheese-coated corn puff his way. Freddie steered a bit closer to her and nibbled on the offered treat.

She chuckled. "You're not so bad, fluff ball." Who would've thought? "Even if you are half dead." Well, at least she could be sure he wouldn't be getting any half-baked rebellious ideas of running away from home any time soon.

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After nearly two hours of studying for her upcoming Biology final, Carly had finally decided to take a break. She headed downstairs and snuck a peek into their fridge, looking for some carrots. She knew Spencer had taken to hiding them lately- he kept complaining that she ate them all as snacks and then there wouldn't be any when he actually needed them to cook. So he'd come up with this big, over-the-top, sneaky set up so she wouldn't find them. He said it made him feel like a mad genius.

She had easily sidestepped his "trap," but unfortunately it seemed they were really out of carrots this time. She was still pouting when the phone rang. "Hello?" she asked as she took it to her ear.

"Carls!" came Sam's voice over the earpiece, sounding anxious. "Is anybody there with you?" Carly would've worried immediately, but it wasn't unusual for Sam to call her in a tizzy, only for her to find out later the cause of the tizzy was something silly that only Sam would ever get upset over.

The brunette shrugged, grabbing a can of soda in lieu of the carrots she was originally going for. "Nope, Spencer took his bike to the shop," she replied casually. "Why?"

"I need you to help me with something. It's life and death."

"Whose life and death?" she asked, now curious. She held the phone up between her face and her shoulder for a moment, and popped open the can of fizzy goodness. Setting it down on the counter for a second, she then propped herself up to sit on the kitchen island before taking a sip. It wasn't quite as satisfying as carrots with whipped cream, she judged, but she needed the jolt after so much studying.

"Mine," Sam stated, ominously. There was a pause. Carly dimly wondered if she was pretending to be a spy or something- a stage she had thought they'd gotten over by the time they reached their teens (okay, okay, mid-teens, but no need to be that specific). Apparently this was more serious than some spy game, though: "I lost Freddie," she finally said, in an utterly defeated tone.

"What? You broke up again?" Carly let out a pained groan. She knew her friends' relationship was pretty much the definition of dysfunctional, and she knew they were always going to argue and disagree about pretty much everything under the sun because that's just who they were, but this break-up-and-make-up-every-other-week game was getting ridiculous. "Sam, this is so stupid. You can't keep breaking up over silly stuff all the time, that's not healthy for any relationship-"

"I mean Freddie the bunny!" Sam snapped at her. No time for couples' counseling at the moment. The Carly rant would have to wait.

The Shay girl blinked, caught off-guard. "Oh. Yeah, that makes more sense." Then what her friend had just said actually hit her. "Wait, you lost the bunny?"

"Yes." Now it was the blonde's turn to groan, which in anyone else would've sounded like a borderline sob. "Oh, man, Freddie's going to kill me!" she practically growled, probably angry at herself for being so careless.

"The bunny's going to kill you?"

"NO, the OTHER Freddie! Would you focus, please?" Clearly, losing her pet did wonders for Sam's mood- not. Carly thought she heard her mutter something about regretting the decision to name the bunny after "the dork." Certainly not one of her more inspired ideas.

"Alright," she stated, agreeable. "When was the last time you saw him?"

"About an hour ago," Sam explained, almost absently. Carly heard shuffling on the other side of the line, and figured her friend was probably still looking for the little creature around the house. "He was at the foot of my bed... chewing on my Biology textbook..."

"...The Biology book you're supposed to be studying from?" Carly asked dryly. Only Sam, she thought. Only Sam.

"Well, it's not my fault Freddie likes the Krebs cycle!" she replied, defensive, as if that explained everything. Carly had to chuckle at the ridiculousness of the excuse. The rabbit ate my homework? Really? "Anyway, I went out to the kitchen to grab something to eat and I must've accidentally left the door open or something, 'cause he wasn't there when I got back. and I've looked all over the house but I can't find him anywhere."

"Okay, I'll be right over. We'll search together," she relented. She didn't think it was a good idea to go out when she still had like ten Biology chapters to go through, but she could see Sam was really distraught over this. "Make sure you close all the doors and windows so he doesn't get out."

"But what if he already got out and is trying to get back inside?" Sam pointed out.

Carly rolled her eyes. "It's a bunny, not Lassie!" She took another sip of her Peppy Cola, then hopped off the kitchen island. "I'll be there in about half an hour, okay? In the meantime, you keep looking around the house. Maybe he's hidden somewhere and you just missed him."

Sam hurriedly assured her she would, and that was the end of the call. Carly grabbed her wallet, her jacket, and rushed out the door in the direction of the bus station, her every step marked with determination. There was a bunny-saving mission she had to attend to, now.

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Three and a half hours later, every notion of spy games was gone from Carly's mind. In fact, it was hard to tell which of the two girls was more depressed. Both were incredibly frustrated by the epic amount of NOTHING they had found. Well, that wasn't entirely true; they had found at least four socks that Sam had given up as lost in the laundry years ago, and they had also found Sam's neighbor's dog, which the guy didn't even know he had lost. But Freddie the bunny they had not found. The fluff ball had all but disappeared off the face of the Earth.

They were now sitting on the steps of Sam's porch, in various states of disarray. Sam was hunched over, face pressed against her knees, with her blond hair falling around her in a thick curtain. Slurred mumbles could be heard coming from her, specifically about how tired she was for walking so much, and how that stupid bunny better be dead, because if she found him, she was going to make BBQ out of him anyway.

Carly carefully ignored the threats of leporicide coming out of her best friend's mouth and was focusing instead on her aching feet. She was leaning back, propping her weight on her elbows against the last step, and stretching her legs as far as she could to see if she could regain some blood circulation there. She couldn't feel her toes. And to top it all off, she was hungry.

Wait.

Food. Hmmm.

She raised herself up to a sitting position. "Where's his food?" she asked, curious. She had seen the bunny's cage, but it was clean in a way that suggested it hadn't been used. But even if Sam had (irresponsibly) kept the bunny out of his cage the whole time, surely she had to put food and water in there, right?

Sam did not change her position, though she did turn her head to the side so she could look at Carly out of one eye, between strands of hair. "I dunno," she said with a shrug- or at least as much of a shrug as she could manage in that position. "I never put anything in there. Frothy kind of did his own thing, so I figured Freddie would be the same. I do give him some chicken from time to time if I'm having some, though," she said as she finally lifted herself until her back was upright, getting her hair out of her face with one hand.

Carly looked at her in utter disbelief. "Rabbits are herbivores! They can't eat meat!" she stated, her voice going a bit shrill. She was so tired, she could no longer keep her frustration out of her tone.

Sam flinched. "Well, Frothy was a carnivore and he ate vegetables! How was I supposed to know the opposite doesn't happen?" she argued back, defensive. Okay, so she was the worst pet owner in the history of humanity. She knew that. That's why it wasn't heridea to buy a stupid overgrown rodent in the first place.

Carly glared at her. "You would know if you hadn't let your rabbit eat your Biology textbook!" Sam's only response was to shrug, and Carly sighed, knowing that a rabbit chewing on a book was probably the least weird situation one could encounter in the Puckett household. "Hand me the cage," she said, resigned, extending a hand toward her friend.

Sam turned to pick up the rabbit cage she had set down behind them on the porch, and handed it to Carly, a little bit curious. "Is this another one of those 'you must think like a rabbit' things? 'Cause that didn't work so well the first time," she reminded the brunette, referring to a certain idea Carly had involving a headband with faux fox ears that had spectacularly backfired on them, about an hour previous.

Carly did not take kindly to being reminded of her failures. She had been fond of that particular idea! "No, I just need something to hold in my hands to keep myself from strangling you," she retorted with a glare. It wasn't particularly intimidating because it was... well, Carly, but Sam had the decency not to make any comments. Carly sighed. "Freddie's going to kill you," she stated, in a tone one might use to say that the sky is blue, or that the ocean is wet. There was no need to specify which Freddie she was talking about this time.

Sam groaned again. She'd been doing a lot of that in the last three and a half hours. "I know! You're not helping!" she exclaimed, once again dropping her face on her knees, a forearm carelessly dropping against the back of her neck, almost bonelessly. She knew Freddie would eventually want to see the bunny and then she'd have to tell him she'd lost the thing, but it was a conversation she was dreading as much as one would dread a root canal.

Carly set the cage down by her feet, knowing that the idea she'd had of luring bunny Freddie in with food wouldn't work as Sam did not have even one gram of bunny kibble in the house. "Fine. Right, so he ran outside. He's gotta be around here. What's the worst that could happen? He's got four rabbit's feet for good luck," she said, trying to be optimistic about this.

The blonde once again turned her face to one side and gave Carly an inscrutable expression, her tone coming out completely deadpan. "You've never played Frogger, have you?"

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Sam knew she would eventually have to tell Freddie- as in her boyfriend, Freddie- that she'd lost the bunny. She just didn't expect things to come to that so soon.

She'd spent most of the next day, a Sunday, planning up ways to avoid him as much as possible without making it obvious that's what she was doing. Unfortunately for those plans, apparently she had promised Freddie they'd have a Master of the Jewels trilogy marathon, but forgot all about it. When she didn't show up, he decided to look for her; not finding her at Carly's apartment (Spencer actually let him know he hadn't seen hair nor hide from Sam in the last couple of days, which was odd), he decided to just go to her place to see if anything was wrong- or to chew her out for forgetting about their date, as it was.

His sudden appearance at her doorstep caught her off guard. She hadn't even had time to go out and buy another rabbit and try to pass it off as bunny-Freddie, which was an idea she'd been toying with. She faltered as she came up with some silly excuse when he asked where her pet was.

"You LOST the bunny?" he exclaimed, his tone marked completely by disbelief.

Right there, Sam decided that the phrase "looking like someone had just kicked his puppy" was complete bullshit, as she'd pretty much done just that (by accident, of course) and he didn't seem to be sad, just pissed off. Majorly. She tried to make him see how bad she felt about it: "I'm sorry. We looked for him around the neighborhood, but we couldn't find him."

That wasn't enough to quench his agitation. "How- I don't- How did that even happen?" he asked her, with a glare. Sam almost cringed.

"It was an accident," she reiterated, sincerely contrite. She felt bad enough about the whole thing without him yelling at her, but she had screwed up, so she had to take it.

"I gave you that bunny!" he exclaimed, agitated- as if she wasn't acutely aware of that. "I thought it would be a good present for you because I know you've been missing Frothy," he continued, and with each word that came out of his mouth, Sam felt more and more like she was the worst person on Earth. "And I thought maybe you would appreciate having some company at your place that wasn't just your mother. And I thought maybe it would be nice for you to have a pet that didn't try to rip people's noses off if anybody ever came near it, for once." He let out a huff of frustration and indignation. "But obviously I was wrong, because you never even cared about the poor thing." He glared darkly at her.

That hurt. Okay, so she wasn't the most caring of people, but it's not like she wanted this to happen. "Look, I know I didn't want the stupid bunny to begin with, but you've got it all wrong, okay?" she refuted, feeling defensive. "I was taking care of him, but- I left the door open for like half a second, I didn't think-"

"That's right," he cut her off harshly. "You didn't think. You NEVER think!" He shook his head abruptly and turned, his back to her. He ran a hand through his hair, almost pulling in frustration, then turned back toward her and just glared, breathing heavily, like he was holding something harsher inside.

Now that, she wasn't going to take. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, her walls springing back up. She knew he was upset, but that gave him no right to be an asshole.

"It's just- you!" he exclaimed, gesturing at her. His jaw was tense. "You take me, and US, for granted! Like what we have is not important to you at all," he sentenced, and that's when she saw it- beyond the anger, there was sadness and disappointment. It hit her hard.

She started growing worried and anxious. "Wait, when did the bunny become a metaphor for our relationship?" she asked him, a tone of urgency in her voice. She wanted to reach out to him, but she felt a bit like she had lost her footing. She didn't want him to feel that way. She never wanted him to feel that way.

"When you LOST him!" he retorted, loudly. Then, after a moment, his shoulders slumped- he just completely deflated. All the anger came out in a sigh. "You know what, I'm... I'm just gonna go home," he said, closing his eyes briefly, like he wanted to wish himself out of there. "Don't call me, I'll call you," he added, then started walking out.

She reached out to him; had to try one last time. "Benson, come on! It was an accident, there was no way I could've..." He paid no attention to her words. By the time she could move, he was already out of the house. "Dammit," she muttered to herself, feeling low.

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The two weeks that followed were without a doubt some of the worst weeks of Sam's life.

She tried to talk to him, explain things. She tried. But all her calls went straight to voice mail, all her texts and emails went ignored. She crossed the hall to his apartment a couple times, but Mrs. Benson always opened the door with a glare, letting her know that Freddie didn't want to talk to anyone.

She did see him at school, but he wasn't hanging out with her anymore- or with Carly, for that matter. In the classroom she tried to call out to him more than once, but he always ignored her. It actually hurt so much that she started skipping every class they had together, just so she wouldn't have to face his indifference anymore. Well, she was definitely going to fail Trigonometry now.

These were her thoughts on a Friday, as she sat on the swing set of a park just a few blocks from her house. She didn't pass by that part of the neighborhood very often, but today she was walking home alone, so she decided to take the long route home. Freddie obviously wasn't walking home with them (his mother had driven him to and from school all week), and Carly had offered to go back to her place with her, but Sam had declined. Quite frankly, she was starting to get angry, and she didn't want to take it out on Carly by mistake.

Who did he think he was, anyway? Sure, she had lost the stupid bunny, but she was trying to apologize, here! Something she rarely ever did, so he should appreciate it! The polite thing would be to hear her out, right? Or what, didn't he want to be with her anymore?

Maybe he didn't want to be with her anymore.

She shook those thoughts out of her head. As Carly was fond of reminding them, they had the tendency to break up about the stupidest things, and they always got back together eventually. They pretty much had it down to a science. Surely the same thing would happen this time around; losing bunny-Freddie wasn't enough to split them up forever. Well, she hoped.

Trying not to think about it, she decided to take a look around. The houses on this side of the neighborhood were a lot more separated from each other, she noted. That would be a perk, she figured; not having to deal with the neighbors- not that her mother "dealt" with their neighbors all that much. A bit farther up the block there was a small building that looked like it could be a daycare center, which would make sense, with the playground so close by.

And then a little bit down the road from there, there was a big plot of land. There was a house in the middle, but what really caught her attention was the red barn that was to one side. Right beside it, there were little cages that resembled something like a chicken coop. She thought it was funny; who would think to put a farm right in the middle of a residential area?

That's when she found her miracle.

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"Turns out, Fredward is actually Fredwina," Sam let him know, with an amused smile, as she looked at all the little fluff balls playing around in the grass. Then she paused and looked at the young man. "I mean the bunny," she stated on a neutral tone, raising an eyebrow at him, as if questioning. Well, har har.

"Of course you mean the bunny," Freddie responded, rolling his eyes. She smirked. "So 'he' is actually a girl?" he asked, still a bit in disbelief at the twist this story had taken. He hadn't actually thought to ask at the pet shop what the gender of the bunny was, and hey, it wasn't as easy to tell as it was with dogs. So when Carly had started calling it a "he," it just sort of stuck. Now he felt a bit silly for it.

"Yep. And more than that, it's going to be a mommy," she said, as they both knelt beside the fence and tried to pick bunny-Freddie out of the crowd of rabbits. Sam insisted on calling her Freddie "for sentimental reasons," as the nickname worked for both genders. Human-Freddie wished she could've gone with a different name.

"Huh?" he wondered, looking at her for a second. "But... we can't take care of those babies. I mean, you couldn't even handle one, let alone seven," he reminded her, pointedly. Rabbits were known to be fast breeders- and prolific at that. Pam Puckett would have the little ones out the door or on a plate before Sam could even blink.

"I know. That's why I thought it was better for Roderick to just keep her and all the babies. They'll be better off here," she said, pointing in the direction of the red barn and the flock of bunnies that surrounded the cages. It was an amazing coincidence that a bunny breeder lived a few blocks away from her house; when bunny-Freddie ran away, she made her way to Roderick's place, and he'd been taking care of her for the weeks Sam thought her missing. She'd also gotten pregnant there (way to be promiscuous, bunny). It was just by a stroke of luck that Sam happened to see her and recognize her that one day.

Sam turned to him and gave him a mock scathing look. "And that is completely unrelated to our relationship, in case the thought even went through that crazy head of yours," she told him, sarcasm dripping from her every word. It was her newest angle to jab at him: apparently she couldn't know when he was going to read too much into things... clearly, he was the girl in their relationship, or so she liked to tell him.

He took it in stride. "Nah, you're right. they'll be better off that way." He let out a chuckle, amused by this entire situation. "Seriously, I don't know why I ever thought it was a good idea to give you a living, breathing creature as a present. I should've known better."

"You were lured in by the cute. You sure you're not going the way of Fredwina?" He rolled his eyes again. Another stab at his masculinity. How original.

They stood up again, and he noticed she seemed hesitant, like she wanted to say something but didn't know how to begin. He turned to her, leaning slightly against the metallic fence, letting her know from his expression that he was paying attention. "Hey, listen..." she finally started, somewhat uncertain. "It's not that i think what we have isn't important. It's just..." She stumbled a bit with the words then. "It's so big that sometimes I don't know how to deal with it. So I kind of... instinctively try to play it off as no big deal." She paused for a moment, looking down toward her feet. "But it is. It's a really big deal. And I'm sorry if the way I act hurts you. I don't mean to."

She looked up at him then, her blue eyes both regretful and hopeful, and he knew she meant every word. "That's okay," he conceded. He was tired of holding the grudge, anyway. "I know it's just the way you are. I know you care, and it was an accident. I shouldn't have blown up at you like that," he added, his expression apologetic as well. He knew he'd been harsh, and she didn't deserve that.

He grabbed her hand and held it in his own, and she interlaced her fingers with his a moment later. "So... we're okay?" she asked him, sounding more hopeful now.

He smiled at her. "We're fine." She nodded at him, visibly relieved, and he leaned in to drop a light peck on her lips. When they separated, he took a look at the rabbits again, out of the corner of his eye, and a sneaky idea crossed his mind. "Hey, you wanna go get something to eat? I hear there's a new restaurant downtown that serves roasted rabbit."

She groaned. "Nah. I've decided to remove small, cute, fluffy things from my diet. Permanently," she added, with a snort.

He laughed, then tugged at her hand, pulling her away from the fence of Roderick's bunny-breeding barn and toward the sidewalk. The invite- at least the part about them getting lunch- had been real. He couldn't resist teasing her just a little more, though. "Awwww, see? You did love Freddie after all!"

"Ok, you're pushing it now, buddy!"

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Author's notes!-

SO RODERICK THE BUNNY-BREEDER WAS A TOTAL DEUS EX MACHINA BUT I JUST COULDN'T LEAVE FREDDIE THE BUNNY TO A DARKER FATE, OKAY?

Ahhhh, two things my muse absolutely adores: fluff, and crack. Please tell her to stop smoking whatever it is she's smoking, because I'm having way too much fun with the crack!fics and I'm afraid it's a gigantic slippery slope. Clearly the muse needs an intervention, so: review! xD

PS: This fic was inspired by a picture Dan Schneider posted of his bunny. JFTR. ;)