Disclaimer: Harry Potter is clearly not mine, haha!

Note: A short Lily x Snape afterlife fic for you. A bit contemplative and ambiguous, but hopefully not too confusing as it's hard to judge these things! It was great fun to write though, I know that. Reviews would be very welcome, of course. :)

"Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" – Albus Dumbledore, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows'.

Across the Lake

There was pain at first, sharp and all encompassing, pain that was both blistering hot and numb all at once. And then there was nothing . He was flying or floating or falling. Or perhaps he was nothing.

It was strange but the moment Severus questioned himself was the moment the world solidified. Daylight burst beyond his eyelids. He blinked. It felt like waking up, but he was certain he hadn't even fallen asleep.

Lily Evans was leaning across the train compartment towards him, her fingers pressed against his bare neck. He must've have looked surprised because she dropped her hand, as though burnt.

"Sev?" She looked unsure. "Are you – okay? You seemed kind of zoned out. You were – holding your neck?" Every word she spoke rendered her less certain.

Wordlessly, he lifted his fingertips to the place where her's had been, finding nothing but warm skin and a steady pulse. "I – don't remember."

But Lily had already turned her head towards the window where the countryside whizzed by in a green blur. "Just pre-Sorting nerves?" she asked. There was a definite edge of fear to her smile that jogged Severus from his own stupor.

They were First Years, he remembered, speeding north towards a new life. Severus held this thought closer than any other. This was it. He was leaving it all behind: Spinner's End and arguments and mismatched clothes. And above all, he was leaving it with her.

Lily was talking again, frequently stopping to bite her bottom lip. She was debating aloud the merits of the four Hogwarts houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw or Slytherin. Red or yellow or blue or green. Green. Severus barely heard her, though.

He wanted, suddenly, to say that he loved her, that he was sorry... and that he had missed her.

But he hadn't missed her... had he?

How on earth could he miss someone he'd spent all summer with? Neither was he sure what he'd done to feel sorry. These strange thoughts lingered at the back of his mind, like the remnants of a dream.

He simply smiled at her, when she concluded that any House would do.

Lily brushed back her dark red hair and giggled something along of the lines of him not smiling often enough. Her eyes met his and he had the strangest, tingling feeling tugging at his insides.

Green eyes. Green as the Slytherin tie. Green as the death knell of the ultimate Unforgiveable. Green as the flash of a serpent's scales.

But Severus shook his head. Strange thoughts...

His niggling unease faded as the Hogwarts Express continued northwards. Hours – or was it minutes? – later and darkness fell beyond the window pane. The train ground slowly to a halt. As it did, Lily leapt to her feet, wringing her hands with a mixture of excitement and utter terror. He realised that she was already in her long, black Hogwarts robes and in that moment remembered that he, too, was in his. "Come on, Sev!" Without another thought, Severus followed her onto the tiny, crowded platform.

It was a dark night, yet strangely clear and bright at the same time. He looked up and saw stars and a glowing moon. Severus had never seen stars so vivid in all his life. But then he remembered where had grown up – all the smog and great, black factories dominating the horizon – and he realised why that was.

Students were surging around them, pushing and chattering. He lost sight of Lily in the crowd. But he could still hear her: "Sev? Sev, come on!" Her small hand struck out through the darkness and grasped him firmly by the wrist.

"Firs' years over here! This way! Firs' years!"

Her fingers still burning into his wrist, Severus allowed Lily to pull him towards the bobbing lantern and then along the slippery, narrow lane lined with conifers. Other first years followed, but he barely noticed them.

"Should get your firs' view o' Hogwarts any moment now."

Lily's fingers squeezed suddenly. He felt her excitement flood through him. He felt alive.

And then they rounded the corner. The other first years dissolved into gasps and oohs. Severus stayed silent. He couldn't even swallow, much less speak. His throat tightened. Lily hadn't noticed anything. She had dropped his hand and was stood on tip-toes gazing at the vast castle, glittering over the black lake. When Severus looked up at Hogwarts, though, he didn't feel how he had expected: not excited or amazed, or even nervous. Instead, this strange sad longing had crept into his chest, tugging at something inside him.

It was the same feeling he had experienced when looking into Lily's bright green eyes. It was like coming home.

But then... he had never even seen the castle before, let alone been inside it. How could it feel like home already?

There was a line of little boats waiting at the shore. The other, faceless, first years were beginning to board them. Lily rushed forward to grab them a boat, but Severus hesitated. He glanced from great maze of towers and turrets above them to the smooth, black surface of the lake and lastly to the tiny wooden boats that would carry them across it. The scene made his spine tingle.

This was supposed to be the best, happiest day of his life, so why couldn't he move?

"Come on, Sev!"

Lily had wandered back over. She was a few inches shorter than him and looked up earnestly into his black eyes. "It's time to go," she said. And she held out her hand for him.

This was it. It was a happy moment really, though it didn't exactly feel like it. It was the moment it all got better. What had gone before – whatever it was, that darkness – it didn't matter now. It was less than a memory – a nightmare no longer remembered.

He took her hand without another thought and let her lead him towards their boat. Once they were sat inside, Lily turned to him, her face alight with a bright, blazing smile.

"Nervous?" she asked. She hadn't yet dropped his hand...

Severus answered "Yes" automatically, though it wasn't really true anymore. Not at all.