The desk was old.

The paint was chipping, one off the legs was a little wobbly, and it smelled faintly like burnt pine.

It needed to go.

I sat in my chair with a heavy sigh. "I don't have time for this right now…"

I already have enough to do besides get a new desk. Paper work (which is total bullshit; I was an alchemist, not an accountant), clean my house (which is even more bullshit; where the hell was my house keeper?), and making sure Fullmetal didn't accidentally burn down a city or something.

Speaking of the runt, where was he? I thought he was supposed to come to my office for a de-briefing about his visit to a town he thought was harboring another homunculus. Al was apparently visiting Resembool, and everyone else had gone home.

Huh. I'd be alone with him.

Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, Mustang I grumbled to myself. Fullmetal was a co-worker and nothing more. Right?

Ah, fuck.

No he wasn't.

And just when I had gotten the pipsqueak out of my mind.

Those golden eyes wouldn't get out of my head. Stupid short-ness… Stupid adorable little hair thingy on his adorable head… Stupid coat… Stupid metal arm…

What I wouldn't give to see the scar on his bare ch-

Gah! What are you thinking? This is sick.

Was it? We were only aged apart in a couple years… Ed was budding on 16 and I was in my mid-twenties…

Fuck. What the hell? You're crazy. Besides… relationships between co-workers were…

Were they prohibited? Is that why Riza hadn't made a god-forsaken move? She was like a best friend to me. As beautiful as she is… I really couldn't see it.

Does that make me gay? Oh god. I was the Flame Alchemist! Not the… the… Poofy Flower Fashion Expert Tea Sippin Baby Lovin Well Dressed Alchemist. Flame! Which meant I was hot.

Hot for Edward Elric.

What! Heh! No, No. I didn't just think that.

Yes you did.

Did not.

Yeah huh.

Shut up self conscious!

Make me!

I could knock myself out!

Aw.. then you couldn't suck face with Fullmetal!

"Shut up!" I snapped aloud only to see Fullmetal walk into the room, stunned.

"I didn't say anything…" Ed mused, confused.

"I, uh… heh." Shit. Was I blushing? My face felt warm. Ah, fuck. Damn ass fuck bitch…!

"Is everything alright colonel?" Ed asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

Ass. "Hm? Yeah. Everything's fine. H-how was… that town."

"Oplen?"

What kind of friggin name is that? "Yeah."

Ed shrugged. "Nuthin special. Just got rid of some jerk manager. Save the day, yadda, yadda."

He has a really nice voice… What? Bitch! "Um, good work, Fullmetal," I said and nervously ran my hand through my hair.

Ed scrutinized me with those bright gold eyes. "Something's up. You're acting all… jumpy."

Damn! I smiled as brightly as possible. "Am I? I'm just frustrated with this desk," I looked over to the P.O.S., "Everyone wants me to replace it… I suppose I'm just being lazy."

"Why do you need to replace it?" Ed asked, walking over.

I shrugged, calming down a bit. "It's just old… It's breakin down."

Ed then proceeded to take things off my desk and set them on the floor.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Running an experiment…" Ed mused and got up on top of the P.O.S., "Seems fine to me."

"You weigh, what? 80 pounds?" I chuckled, "Almost as much as Black Hayate!"

Ed rolled his eyes. "I'm taller than you, currently. Higher ground. I wouldn't use such words."

I could tell he was messing around by the teasing smirk on his lips.

Lips. Mouth. Tongue… Fuck! Stop it Mustang…

"We've fought before, Fullmetal," I retorted, "And everyone knows how well that went."

Ed scowled, still smiling. "I can still kick your ass any day."

My smirk widened to a grin. "Really, runt?"

Ed's smile faded. "Why don't you take off that little dress of yours and we talk about who's small here?"

Was that a dick joke?

God, he's hot when he's angry. GAH! I DID IT AGAIN! I kept my cool. "Bring it," I said, taking off my long coat. Ed did the same, revealing that arm of his.

I admired Winry's handiwork for a second.

Shit. Winry. They were together, weren't they?

And that's when I got Ed's metal foot in my stomach.

I stumbled back with a huff and glared at Ed. "I wasn't ready."

"You said to bring it," he smirked, "Don't call me small."

Oh… he's a little riled up. I like.

I returned the smirk and fell into a fighting stance. Ed jumped down and swung his leg up to hit me in the side. Immediately ducked and tripped him onto his ass. I raised my fist to hit him, he moved quickly, leaving my knuckles to connect with the ground. I bit back a curse as Ed got to his feet. I cooled off my hand and grinned. "Quick little rabbit," I purred.

Ed shrugged and came at me again. I backed up, let him swing and I got him in the shoulder. Remembering my training, I protected my core and swung at him again. Ed backed up this time and I took a risk and hit him in the side with my shin. Ed took the opening and almost got me in the jaw. I narrowed my eyes at him and took a few steps forward, swung, and missed. Ed moved quickly and swung twice, his metal fist just grazing my nose.

"Hey," I warned, "No face."

Ed smiled, "Uh huh."

Of course, he tried to hit my nose again. I grabbed his wrist, twisted it behind his back, and slammed him against the wall.

"You don't listen," I breathed in his ear.

"Not really," Fullmetal replied, his voice low as he wretched his arm from me, and turned so we were face to face, dangerously close.

Ed grinned at me. "Why colonel, you look pale."

Was it just me or was it warm in here. Was I getting turned on? Ah, shit. Minor, Mustang! Minor! I inhaled and backed off. Ed tilted his head, still grinning. "What's wrong?"

I scowled. "Stop that."

"Stop what?"

"That."

"What?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "Knock it off."

He mirrored me. "What?"

"What you're doing!"

"What am I doing?"

"That!"

"What?"

"Ugh." I ran my hand through my hair again.

Ed grin fell to a soft smile. But something devious was still behind his eyes. "Tired?"

I looked back to the teenager. "A little."

Ed pursed his lips and came closer, grabbing my shirt and giving me a mischievous smile. "Too bad. I'm wide awake."

I found myself leaning down, ready to clash my lips with his-

"Knock knock!"

I shoved Fullmetal away like he burned me or something. The runt stumbled, but stopped and cautiously looked to Havoc, who had walked in.

"Hey colonel," he looked to Ed, "Fullmetal. I forgot my cigs here…" he walked to his desk.

I swallowed, praying my face wasn't a tomato.

Havoc retrieved the cancer sticks and looked back to me, then Ed, then me. "You guys okay?"

"Huh?" I blurted, "Yeah! We're fine."

He eyed me for a second before focusing on the desk. "Hey! You're finally getting rid of it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Beat it, Havoc."

The lieutenant shrugged and left, shutting the door behind him. I turned to Ed. "You should probably go too."

Ed raised an eyebrow. "I've got nothin important to do… And I thought we were getting somewhere."

"HAH!" I exclaimed victoriously, "You are doing it!"

"What?"

"UGH," I glared, "You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Ed came close again. "What am I doing colonel?" he asked innocently. I swallowed as Ed placed his soft left palm on my chest, rising it.

I grabbed his wrist. "Ed-"

"Roy," he interrupted, looking up to me, "Roll with it."

I narrowed my eyes, "Roll with wh-"

He kissed me. Holy shit. Shit damn bitch mother fucker ass!

Gahhhh! Ah? Ah… Oh. Oh god…

Fullmetal wrapped his hand around the back of my neck, holding me close. I resisted the temptation to kiss back- for the first two seconds.

I moved my lips against Ed's surprisingly eagerly, taking in everything that I've been thinking about for the past… what was it? Weeks? Months? Ever since I met him? Jesus, I don't know…

I felt his auto-mail around against my side and broke the kiss for just a second to breathe, and he punched me.

What?

"Ack!" I choked and looked to Fullmetal, "What the hell?"

Ed ran his tongue over his lips. "I never said we were done fighting."

I grinned. Fucking tease.

Ed came at me again, ready to swing again, but I grabbed his wrist, socking him in the stomach this time. He coughed and shoved me. I smiled and put my hands on either side of his face. We kissed a few times, deeper than last time, before Ed kicked my shin. I fell with a grunt and tripped him.

He fell on his back and I crawled over and sat on his waist line. Leaning down, I rested my forearm by his blond head. I felt him weave his hand through my hair and I kissed him roughly, nipping at his lower lip. Fullmetal pressed me closer and ran his tongue over my upper lip.

Fuck…

I pressed through exploring his delicious mouth, his tongue clashing with mine. He moved back and rolled me onto my back. Stronger than he looks.

He dug his nails into my scalp and grinded against me. I exhaled (which to be honest sounded more of a light moan) and pulled him down, kissing him again. I decided to get the jump on him and pushed him off abruptly. Ed grunted as he hit the ground again and I was on my feet. He smiled at me, a trace of that deadly sin on his lips.

Ed stood and I grabbed his shirt collar pulling him over as I sat on the desk. I was a little lower than him now, which he probably liked and I kissed a trail down to his neck. I didn't really know how experienced a teenager would be, but as far as I could tell, he was really good…

I licked his neck, tasting his skin and smelling his hair. I heard Ed sigh, making even more blood rush to my pants than before. I'm so going to jail for this.

Ed tilted his head back so he could kiss me again, and again, and again…

Resting my hands on his lower back, I pressed his hardness close to mine and ran my tongue along the roof of his mouth, brushing against his teeth. He leaned down, sucking on my neck a little.

He better not give me a hickey I grumbled to myself. He ran his tongue across my skin before biting softly.

"Ah…" I breathed with a smile. He kissed my neck a few more times and I kissed his cheek before moving back to his mouth. I felt his hand at the buckle of my pants and smiled. Our lips not two centimeters away I breathed, "Yeah?"

Ed kissed me again. "Yeah yeah.."

And his hand was in my pants.

"Nngh," was all I could choke out when he grabbed hold. I exhaled and looked up at the teenager. "You- ah… p-punk…"

Ed grinned and leaned down, ravishing in my neck. I lightly kissed his cheek and felt around for the runt's pants opening. But it's hard to focus when- gahh…

Found it.

Edward bit me when I dug my hand in.

"F-fuck," is what he breathed when I took him in my hand, running my thumb along his length, rubbing the head. "You're an asshole."

"You started it." I tilted my head and kissed him. Ed kissed back almost violently; that arrogant, mildly cocky (haha… cock), ridiculously hot personality coming back out. Our tongues clashed several times and I went back to his neck.

We continued this until we both came (some louder than others) and Ed decided to wipe his hand off on my desk. Breathing hard, I glared at him. "You're cleaning that."

Ed rolled his eyes.

After we calmed down a bit (and I thoroughly washed my hands) I asked an itching question. "Why?"

Ed zipped up his fly. "Why what?"

"Why… that."

Ed smiled and folded his arms across his chest. "Because of that truth or dare thing you did with Breda, Falman, and Havoc."

Breda smirked. "Havoc. Truth or dare."

I rolled my eyes. "You guys are acting like a bunch of teenage girls."

Havoc sighed. "Dare."

Breda looked to Falman who smiled. "I dare you to hit on the Ice Queen."

Havoc's mouth dropped. "Do you want me dead?"

"And it has to be genuine," Falman added, "Like you would if she was the hottest piece of woman you've ever seen."

"Boner-fucking-rific," Breda chuckled.

Havoc thought for a second. "She is pretty hot."

Breda and Falman cracked up. "Tomorrow, man. Tomorrow."

I pulled the paper up in front of my face. "Idiots…"

"Colonel," I heard Havoc muse, "Truth or dare?"

Pulling the paper down, I arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"Truth," he grinned, "or dare?"

I sighed. I debated on going along with the stupid game, but I did anyway… "Truth, I guess."

"Pussy," I heard Breda mumble to Havoc.

Havoc thought for a second. "Would you fuck Fullmetal?"

I felt my face warm and pulled the paper up in front of my face. "What kind of question is that?"

"He would totally do it."

I yanked the paper back down. "How do you know?"

Falman grinned. "If there was anyone you would twist for, it's him."

"He's like… 15!"

"Hasn't stopped you before," Breda scoffed.

I scowled. Would I? He was kinda hot… Blehk! What was I thinking? That's… "Sure."

They all paled a bit. "Seriously?" Falman asked.

I shrugged. "Why not?"

"Uh," Havoc laughed, "He's a dude?"

"Meh."

"Probably a virgin," Breda chuckled.

"Easily worked around."

"You're saying that if you had the opportunity," Havoc said, "If you could screw him, you'd do it."

"Probably not the first time, but… yeah."

"What do you mean the first time?"

"Well, you know how it goes with… gay guys."

Breda nudged Falman. "Back door."

I blushed and scowled. "Yeah."

Havoc laughed. "I'll let him know you're interested."

My eyes widened. "I thought it was a rule that nothing leaves the room."

Breda shrugged. "He's right."

I exhaled. "Continue."

I swallowed. "You heard that?"

Ed smiled. "Every word. I even saw Havoc get his ass kicked by General Armstong."

Heh. That was pretty funny.

"Turns out you were telling the truth," Ed said and pulled his coat on.

"So… that was… an experiment?"

"Of sorts."

I scratched my head. "You're still scrubbing my desk."

Ed glared. "I thought you wanted to trash it."

I grinned at him. "Too many memories."

"Of cum."

"Yes."

"On your desk."

"Absolutely."

Ed shrugged, "Whatever."

I leaned back in my chair, watching the runt scrub my P.O.S. of a desk. "So…"

Ed sighed.

"Call me a scientist, but… I think I'd like to experiment again."

Fullmetal looked back to me and grinned. "Really?"

I shrugged. "Why not? You're pretty good."

Edward blushed. "Um.."

Oo. Façade = gone. "So?"

"You asking me out?"

My game now. "Of sorts."

Ed went back to scrubbing. "Whatever."

"Is that a yes?"

"Whatever."

I folded my arms across my chest. I guess that's what I get for wanting a teenager.

…Now I just have to get rid of all the stupid paper work I have to do.

#

Eep! First M rated fanfic DX don't kill me if it's horrible! I think i veered off a little on the character... oh well! lol You don't really get to see very much lusty Ed in the anime. Neither Mustang heheheheh.. so i improvised. um.. review. i guess. o_O i feel dirty