[A/N] All updated. First story ever, everyone! Please, if you have any criticism, it is highly appreciated. I have written this story throughout the year, and my writing style at the beginning here is not the best quality, however, i assure you it get's better... hopefully. Anyway, i hope you enjoy!

KYLE'S POV

Ugh, I hate Mondays. Most people know me as the one who studies hard and gets good grades, the nerd. But I hate school all the same. Well, I don't hate hanging out with the guys. I mean, obviously I don't hang out with Cartman by choice, he just tags along with us wherever we go. And Stan's great, he's my super best friend, and he knows me as if I'm his brother. But Kenny's the real reason I even bother to go to school.

It's been a while since I figured out that I was gay. I knew that I never really liked girls, but when I started having feelings for another guy? That kind of closes the deal. Anyway, it's Kenny who drew me in. Although, I'm still a little confused. He's the most gorgeous guy in school, and all the girls like him, and some other guys too, but he doesn't show interest in any of them.

Anyway, as I was saying, Mondays suck. That's why Stan and I created Monday movie night, to soften the blow of hard work. I was so looking forward to that.

"Hey Kyle" greeted Stan, appearing beside my locker. He was in of his rare cheerful moods, rather than a usual stoic mood not unlike that of Craig.

"Hiya. Movie night tonight?"

"You bet" he said as we walked to homeroom.

Through the door, I could see Kenny sitting in his usual seat by the window. I tried not to stare at him, but I could barely keep my gaze from his unkempt, golden hair, falling softly over his big blue eyes. He no longer wore an orange hooded coat, but rather a faded grey sweatshirt over ragged jeans.

"Hey Kenny" I said sitting in the seat next to his, like I did every day.

He turned around to look at me, smiling, almost sadly, as he greeted me back. My heart melted from his beautiful innocent face, but also because I hated seeing him sad, which was a lot recently.

"Hey Ken, do you want to come over to my house tonight for movie night?" I asked on a whim. Stan sent me a wary look, but I wasn't paying attention. It was all on Kenny's face as it lit up in delight.

"I'd love to come over" He smiled. A small, but real smile, and it made my day.

After homeroom, Stan caught me in the hallway.

"What the fuck Kyle? We have never had anyone else in Movie night."

"There's a first time for everything?"

"What the fuck has gotten into you? I feel like you're not my super best friend anymore"

My mood dropped in moments. I couldn't blame him; I really have been focusing a lot on Kenny, rather than Stan. I mean, I never stood him up on our 'nights' before, but I could see that I too was becoming distant.

"I'm sorry Stan, I didn't mean to make you feel that way. But still, as I said, there's a first time for everything, right? And anyway, Kenny is our best friend"

"OK. Sure" His tone was kind, but his smile was forced, and I could see he was just doing this for me.

"Thanks Stan"

The three of us walked in the cold January evening to my house. None of us had said a word since we left school. I didn't like the silence.

"So, what are we going to watch? Got anything planned Stan?"

"Well, I think since that last Paranormal activity came out in the rentals, we could make a horror marathon. I know you don't like horror Kyle, but I heard its really good. What do you think?"

"I guess it's alright… What about you Kenny? You down with the horror?"

"Yeah, I'm fine with anything you throw at me" At this point, I realized he didn't give a shit as to what he did with us. As long as he was hanging out with us, he wasn't at home like he usually was. Actually, Kenny got invited to tons of parties and hangouts; he just rarely went on them. I know for a fact that while everyone thinks that he's a man whore, he's not at all, even less than the rest of us. In fact, he hasn't gone to a party in over a year now. Everyone thinks that he doesn't care about anyone, that he's just a shallow fuck-machine. Everyone thinks he can't hold a steady relationship with anyone because he doesn't care about other people's emotions.

I know otherwise. I know that when I was sick, he skipped a whole day of school just to keep me company, when even Stan didn't. I know that he gave up tickets from Craig and his gang to go see his favourite band, just to stay at my house for my birthday. And I also know that when my grandma died, and I went outside so people wouldn't notice me cry, he followed me and held me in his arms, while I wept. I know that he's always there for me, and I go to him with all of my problems, not Stan. Because I know that Kenny won't judge me, and he'll genuinely try to help me. That's what he does. And that's only a little part of the Kenny I fell in love with.

After renting the movies and buying snacks, we all came back to my house. Suddenly, Stan dropped the massive bag of Lays.

"Shit! Oh God, this is bad. This is bad. Fuck" His eyes were huge with shock and worry. "I forgot about Wendy! She's going to fucking freak, I forgot about our date. Oh shit"

"Your date is on our Movie night," I asked with slight annoyance.

"Oh shit, I did NOT think this through"

"She's going to fucking murder you, man," Kenny added, with genuine pity splayed across his beautiful blue eyes.

"Wait, I'm only 20 minutes late, maybe I can still make it?" He looked at me pleadingly.

"Fine Stan, I know she means a lot to you" I stopped caring about this a long time ago. Apparently, Wendy was always more important than me, so I just let him go without a fight.

"Its fine dude. And anyway Kenny's here," I added. He smiled questioningly, as if he didn't know if that was good or bad. He looked embarrassed to be having Movie night with me instead of Stan. He knew that he WASN'T my second choice, ever. Didn't he know that? Stan gave a thankful smile to both of us and shot out of the house. I decided to remind Kenny anyway.

"You know that you're not just my second choice right?" Just as I said it, I realized that it sounded extremely egotistical.

"You're my best friend, the same as Stan" that didn't sound any better. Kenny's face was a mixture of confusion, but was also content. We left it at that.

After turning on the movie, I realized that I'd lied to myself. I couldn't watch this. Soon, I started to whimper pathetically, eventually shutting my eyes. I blocked out the noise. I couldn't bear this movie. I winced at the touch of a hand on my shoulder.

"Its ok, I'm here, none of this is real"

I looked up, straight into Kenny's face, and I saw that he had pulled me into a tight embrace. His face was only an inch away from mine. He looked like he was about to say something. A frown was stained on his gorgeous face. I couldn't bear the sight of it; it tore my heart to shreds. I wanted to kiss him so much, but instead I just whimpered. I wonder if it was healthy to want someone this badly. The screaming of the movie was putting me off. I looked around the room, and heard a tiny chuckle.

"There is nothing paranormal about your living room, dude. If you want, we can just turn off the movie. I've seen it in cinemas already anyway" He smiled down at me, and my stomach did a somersault. No wonder Stan always threw up when he saw Wendy. I felt like doing the same.

"Ok" I sounded pathetic. If it were anyone other than Kenny, I doubt they would have heard me. But Kenny did, he always hears me, he always understands when I'm scared, and he never makes fun of me.

"Hey, I think that shows on. What was it? The Big Bang Theory? You like that show, right. It's all clever and stuff, just like you" He took the remote and screen changed from blood, to a nice boring physicists living room.

"Thanks Kenny, you're such a great friend"

"Always here. Now, who is going to finish these chips?"

"Ugh, I can't eat after that movie. Leave it for Ike when he gets back from wherever he's at"

We sat in silence for the rest of the night. I was startled when Kenny suddenly spoke up.

"Uhh, Ky, its really dark outside, and the looneys have already started gathering outside. Do you mind driving me home." He obviously didn't want to have to ask for a lift, but he didn't really have a choice.

"No, I'm just going to make you walk home alone am I?" the sarcasm tingling on my lips. "Come on".

I rarely used my car. Since I didn't have a job to pay for gas and I didn't ask my parents for money, I just leave it in the garage most of the time.

I watched as Kenny tenderly opened the passenger side. What the fuck was I going to do about these feelings?

Although Kenny's house was pretty run-down, he himself had a job at some store, so at least he wasn't broke. Anyway as I was driving away, I snuck a peek at Kenny's window at the side of the house. He was leaning out of it. What on earth? He pulled one of the bricks out and pulled out something. Before I could see what it was, I had to avert my attention back to the stupid road. But I was going to come back.

I stuck to my word, as I crawled along the side of his house, in the deep hours of the night. Hopefully, Kenny would be asleep by now. I came to his window, and put my ear to the bottom. No sound, just the peaceful inhaling and exhaling of the sleeping person on the bed in the far corner. Tapping the bricks a soon found the hollow one that he had opened before. Slowly and silently I pulled it out. My flashlight shone inside, straight onto a small brown paper notebook.

KENNY'S POV

Mondays. It's the worst day of the week. After a weekend of peace, the morning came as a blow to me. I really hate going to school. The teachers say that I have so much potential each time I fail a test. That I just have to study harder. The truth is, I do know what I'm doing in class, but I don't and probably will never get the money to go to college, so what's the point of getting good grades. None of my 'so called' friends care about me anyway. Cartman doesn't care about anyone. Stan… was confusing. Its not that he didn't care, it was just that he was mostly just 'super best friends' with Kyle; he only hung with me because… I don't even know why he hangs out with me, pity? Responsibility? I don't know. Anyway, the only person I actually care about myself is Kyle. I wish he cared about me, but life is never perfect is it?

As I sat at my desk, I dreamed about the day when someone would actually love me.

"Hey Kenny" I turned, startled, to look Kyle right in his sweet, kind freckled face. I tried to smile, but I was too sad.

"Hey" I replied. See that's the real question. Why did Kyle hang out with me? Why did he even bother being nice to me at all? He was always way closer to Stan when we hung out, while Cartman was pulling pranks on innocent children, and me? I just kinda followed behind, I always felt like the third wheel.

"Hey Ken, do you want to come over to my house tonight for movie night?" He asked me suddenly. I could see the shock in Stan's face, but I didn't care. No one was ever invited to their movie nights. I wouldn't even care if I were the third wheel. If I could be close to Kyle, I'd do anything.

"I'd love to come over" This was the BEST Monday ever.

We all met up after to school to walk to Kyle's house together. The icy January air stung my nose, in the uncomfortable silence. I didn't really feel like I belonged in movie night, so I wasn't about to say anything, in case I sounded cocky. Kyle seemed to dislike the silence more.

"So, what are we going to watch? Got anything planned Stan?"

"Well, I think since that last Paranormal activity came out in the rentals, we could make a horror marathon. I know you don't like horror Kyle, but I heard its really good. What do you think?"

"I guess it's alright… What about you Kenny? You down with the horror?" I started when he said my name. Paranormal activity? Id seen all of them already, but no way was I going to tell them that and ruin movie night. Although, I didn't really want to lie either.

"Yeah, I'm fine with anything you throw at me" this was completely true, I would literally take anything in the face, just to hang out with Kyle. I would die over and over, (mostly because I know I'd come back) but really, I just wanted to be alone with Kyle. I didn't mind Stan, but Kyle's the glue that holds our group in place. Withought him it would just be… awkward.

Soon after renting the movies, we came back to Kyle's house. For some reason, I always felt a little safer here. Maybe because I come here more than anyone else's house. And his parents seem to like me, for some non-apparent reason. I don't know why anyone would like me really. I mean, I'm stark poor, I can't really offer anything to others, and I feel like I'm always intruding on Kyle's and Stan's hangout time. I'm not meant to be a part of their friendship. Yet, out of my own selfishness, I always come along anyway. I was taken out of my own mind rant when Stan suddenly dropped his massive bag of lays. His mouth was wide open with shock.

"Shit! Oh God, this is bad. This is bad. Fuck" His eyes were huge with worry. "I forgot about Wendy! She's going to fucking freak, I forgot about our date. Oh shit"

"Your date is on our Movie night," Kyle didn't seem angry, just slightly annoyed.

"Oh shit, I did NOT think this through"

"She's going to fucking murder you, man," I added, I felt really bad for Stan. This wasn't a good situation. Not only upsetting Wendy, but also Kyle.

"Wait, I'm only 20 minutes late, maybe I can still make it" He looked at Kyle pleadingly.

"Fine Stan, I know she means a lot to you" Kyle was one of the kindest people I had ever met. I knew this was hard for him. Recently, Stan had been going off with Wendy more and more. I mean, I know that that leaves him free to hang out with me, but I feel really guilty, like I'm stealing their Super Best Friend time.

"Its fine dude. And anyway Kenny's here," There it was again, that guilty, but selfishly happy feeling. Should I smile? I don't know. Stan shot out of the door, leaving me and Kyle alone on Movie night.

"You know that you're not just my second choice right?" He suddenly said. I bet he knew what I was thinking. I bet he was just saying that to make me feel better. Maybe even just to make the situation less awkward. Even though it was a kind gesture, I had trouble believing him.

"You're my best friend, the same as Stan" Although I knew this was true, there was a big difference between Stan and I. If Kyle had a choice of who to hang out with, it would most likely be Stan. I knew that I was also his best friend, but I was more the person he went to with problems, and that sort of shit. I didn't mind. Actually, I loved it when he came to me. I wanted Kyle to be happy so badly. I would do anything to solve his every problem. I just wished that he would see how much I care for him.

After turning on the movie, I remembered how much Kyle hates horror. It was Stan who'd suggested it in the first place, and he wasn't here anymore. And I'd already seen the movie. Kyle started shivering, and then he curled up on the sofa. I was losing my self-control. I pulled him close to me and hugged him tightly.

"Its ok, I'm here, none of this is real"

He looked up at me, straight at my eyes. Suddenly I couldn't hear the movie anymore. I wanted to tell him. How much I wanted him. How much I loved him. But I couldn't. It was so hard just to be around him, without being able to kiss him, and hold him safe. Instead I held his gaze in mine, until he finally tore away, and inspected the room. I laughed.

"There is nothing paranormal about your living room, dude. If you want, we can just turn off the movie. I've seen it in cinemas already anyway" I felt out of place. I felt like I was just making the situation worse.

"Ok" He was so quiet, but I heard him. What Kyle says is always important.

"Hey, I think that shows on. What was it? The Big Bang Theory? You like that show, right. It's all clever and stuff, just like you" I changed the film back to tv.

"Thanks Kenny, you're such a great friend" I treasured the moments when Kyle said things like that.

"Always here. Now, who is going to finish these chips?"

"Ugh, I can't eat after that movie. Leave it for Ike when he gets back from wherever he's at"

We sat in silence for the rest of the night. I realized that it had gotten really dark.

"Uhh, Ky, its really dark outside, and the looneys have already started gathering outside. Do you mind driving me home." I didn't want to walk home alone, and yet I still felt guilty for having to ask.

"No, I'm just going to make you walk home alone am I? Come on".

Kyle didn't use his car much, so I tried to be careful. Ha, I'm going crazy. Like I'm going to damage the car by opening the door. Wow, I felt like Tweek.

We arrived at my crappy house, and I finally said goodbye to Kyle for the night. It was so strange hanging out with him like that. I haven't been properly alone with him like that for a long time. I mean, he always talks with me about his problems, but then we always have things to talk about. Tonight was just really awkward.

Coming into my small room, my eyes went straight to the window. I opened it and leaned over to look at the bricks making up my house. I slid a loose one open and took out the small brown notebook. I opened it and began to write.