a/n: hello again, dear readers. this is my first switched at birth story, and hopefully the first multi-chapter fic that like-lions successfully finishes.

fingers crossed.

rating is for swearing and general adult themes; don't worry, this story won't be written in all lowercase.

title is borrowed from kelly clarkson's, "i hate myself for losing you."

what do you do when you look in the mirror
and staring at you is why he's not here?
what do you say when everything you said
is the reason why he left you in the end?
how do you cry when every tear you shed
won't ever bring him back again?
i hate myself for losing you—kelly clarkson

staring at an empty room, or "not another teen pregnancy story; damn you, "

"Ugh. Fuck me," Bay Kennish said, staring down at her once flat stomach. Now there was a small bump growing in its place, confirming her worst fears.

I'm pregnant, Bay thought to herself before falling hopelessly on her bed. This wasn't a shocker. She had her suspicions when three pregnancy tests came up positive. And when she started throwing up. And when her periods mysteriously disappeared two months ago.

So she was in denial.

But with good reason, certainly; just six weeks ago Bay had fought with Emmett over his feelings for Daphne. In a fit of psychotic (and now somewhat explainable) rage, she told him that she knew he was fooling around with Daphne behind her back.

It wasn't like she was just grasping at straws. Daphne had directly threatened to win Emmett's heart back, and with their history, Bay was almost positive that she didn't stand a chance.

Six weeks later Emmett was "trying things out" with Daphne and Bay was coming to terms with her pregnancy. She hadn't even spoken candidly with him since they broke up. How was she supposed to tell him about this?

"Hey, Emmett! How have you been? Haven't spoken to you in a while. Remember that time that we slept together? Well, I do. Especially since I have the evidence hidden in my loins; see you in seven months, Daddy!"

For some reason, she doubted that he would take it well regardless of how she broke it to him. And Daphne—she was going to lose her shit and be convinced that Bay did this on purpose.

As if Bay was just dying to give up her high school career, reputation and future just to spite Little Miss Perfect.

Fuck. I'm screwed, Bay thought, putting her hands on her stomach. It was surreal the way that her fingers felt running against her growing form. It wasn't very visible yet, but Bay knew that she didn't have much time before her condition became obvious.

No guys, I swear. I'm just getting fat!

"I just want to die here," Bay said, moving her hands from her stomach to cover her face.

"Well, you can't die just yet," a voice from the door said. "Dinner's ready. Mom made spaghetti and Dad brought home carrot cake. Not that you will be getting any of that, mind you. I already called dibs."

Carrot cake. Gag. I hated it even when I wasn't pregnant. At least this kid and I have something in common, Bay thought.

"Cool, I'll be down in a sec," Bay said, pushing herself off of the bed. She quickly caught a glance in the mirror to make sure her shirt didn't hug too tightly before heading downstairs.

Let the games begin.