Thanks to MysteryFan17 for betaing for me all the time ;)
You're the best!
Waiting
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It's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something. But I don't know what for. It's like everybody in the world wants something. Only they never really know exactly what it is - they just keep finding out what it's not. You know how, when you turn off the TV or you come out of some concert, and everything just feels empty? Like you thought that would be what you wanted, and then it wasn't? - Unknown
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...
Aoko watched Kaito leave, smile on his face as if everything in the world were going just the way he planned. And it probably was too. Aoko knew Kaito for so long now, that she knew the magician wouldn't tolerate anything going less than exactly the way he wanted it.
She smiled back, but it had all the emotion of a marionette. He never noticed, and he never would. When she broke down enough to show it, he would come to her, be there for her. He was just that type of person and she liked him for it, but it also made it so she felt the need to keep things inside so he wouldn't have to. So she tried hard to never let it get that far. She didn't want to force him to be with her that way. She wasn't that type of girl and she never would be. She was strong. At least, that is what she kept telling herself every time she watched him leave.
...
Keiko and she had gone out shopping the other day, so she had no excuse to call up the other girl and make plans when they'd already seen each other at school. She also knew Keiko was going out that weekend to visit her grandmother in Kyoto, so Aoko would be alone until Monday. After all, Kaitou Kid made sure most of her weekends were spent alone with his thievery. Kaito was such a devout fan that she couldn't even get him to answer his phone after Kid had announced his plans. Her father, at least, she could reach. It wasn't much of a pick-me-up, since he was often high-strung at the time.
Aoko, of all things, knew how not to be needy. After her mother had passed, her father had to spend a lot of time out of the house. She had learned as a child that, no matter how much she cried, or how much she screamed, her father couldn't be there for her all the time. While she was growing up, Aoko had been left with a sitter who could have cared less that she was supposed to be watching a child. Those days had been spent alone, locked in her room, until Kaito had come along. After that, her days had often been spent at his house, where she was almost happy again.
And just like that, with a flip of a cape and a notorious name, Kid had taken him away from her. Keiko had never seen more of Aoko before the thief had rearranged her life. It wasn't anything new, the isolation- herself of younger knew it well, and it wouldn't be long before she was used to it once again.
Today, she was sitting in her room. She couldn't say she was waiting for something. After all, what was there to wait for? Her father was home, for the time being. He was downstairs reading through an old book she's seen him pick up occasionally when he was in the mood for it. Not a lot of people could tell that he liked reading, fantasy at that, and there was no one for Aoko to tell- had they even cared to ask. Kaito knew, but then again, there wasn't much Kaito didn't know about her. Looking back over the years, Aoko couldn't say the same about him. They may have been best friends, but he was always hiding things from her. And she knew. If it weren't for his mother sliding her information that Kaito liked to keep secret- no matter how trivial, Aoko wasn't even sure that what they had was friendship and not some twisted form of stalking.
"Aoko?" Her dad knocked on her door, entering without waiting. Aoko didn't mind. When you grow up with something, it doesn't faze you much when you're older, and her father didn't intend it to be intruding. There was a schoolbook opened in front of her, so to him it must have looked like she was doing her homework. Had she not finished it ages ago, it would have been the truth. "Are you busy?"
"No." She closed the book. "We didn't get a lot of work today." Not that it would matter. With how much time she now had on her hands, she'd had the whole week's worth of work done, and more.
"I thought you might like to get out of the house for a while. You've been in your room all week."
"Dad," she smiled. It was as wide as she could get with the little enthusiasm she had to look forward to the next few days of her life. Next week will be better, she told herself. She'd been telling herself that a lot recently. "I just went to the mall yesterday. How often do you expect me to want to go out and see the town? I do live here."
"Yeah, I know, but that was something Keiko-chan wanted to do-"
"No Dad, it was my idea."
She watched the strange expression that crossed her father's face. She had never been one for shopping trips. It was a habit she was sure she picked up from him, being a man and having no female figure around, other than Kaito's mother occasionally, while she was growing up. If someone had told her last month that she would be the one asking Keiko to go scrounging around their small strip mall, she would have thought she was crazy too. That's what seclusion does to you, it makes you crave what you can't have and you'll find any excuse to try and regain it. That is, if you were still trying. The mall trip had bored her so much and Aoko's only reason to hang out with Keiko started to fall out of reach. It was Kaito who had always taken her out of her house before, taken her to the movies, come over just to make sure that she wasn't doing exactly what she was now - nothing.
"So, want to go out to get something to eat then?"
"Dad," Aoko glanced at her small, old-fashioned bell clock. "We ate less than three hours ago."
"Ice cream then?"
If there was one person that made her happy, it was her dad. He did what he could, by supporting her both mentally and physically. The happiness that came with his presence was soft, more like a hand-on-your-should type of flutter, whereas Kaito's presence brought with it everything; sight, sound, anger, happiness, embarrassment, all at once. She couldn't help comparing the two of them. She knew which she preferred, even though it didn't make her feel as alive. Kaito wasn't there for her when she needed him. Her father was. There had been one exception to that, and her father never seemed to have forgiven himself for missing her birthday a few months ago, drunk and too caught up in the emotion of chasing down Kid to think about her. That was fine though, and she told him repeatedly that she was okay with it. She didn't want her father to be home with her and her friends when she celebrated away. As young as he thought he was, her father was still older, and she wanted to spend time with those her own age. Kaito had been the one, again, who had missed the role he was supposed to play as her best friend. His gift had been nice, but that didn't make up for how terrible she felt not having him there. She hadn't even seen him that night.
Ice cream didn't sound all that bad. She wanted out of the house anyway and the moist spring air was warm enough for her to enjoy a cool treat.
"Sure, Dad. Give me a minute and I'll be right down."
"Take your time."
Her dad was gone, leaving a trail of his fluttering presence like a bird leaves behind a tuft of feathers after it takes flight. Yes, some type of large bird, that's what her father reminded her of, an eagle or something of the like.
Aoko got up, setting her book back into her schoolbag and fixing up her sparse desk space that she'd cleaned up three times already, so there was nothing much to put back.
Her father was waiting for her by the door, dressed for once in non-formal attire. She hadn't seen her father out of a suit in years, police work dropping on him at a second's notice so that he always had to be prepared. The slick tan shirt and less formal black pants didn't look good on him. It could have been because she wasn't used to it, but her father and normal clothing didn't go together.
"Don't like it, huh? It's too hot for me to go out in my coat. I thought it be a good time to try something else. You know, I used to dress like this all the time a few years ago."
"Why'd you stop?" She didn't have any memories of her father in casual clothes. Maybe once, when she was small, but she dismissed it as a dream.
"I didn't think I needed to wear them. Your mother was gone and Toichi was always the one who said that if I kept walking around in the same clothes, people would think I didn't shower. After the nagging stopped," her father shrugged. "I guess it was more work than not."
Aoko was much like her father and rational clothing often won over fashionable. If he got called out while he was wearing the clothes had had on now, it would hurt his image. Other police officers didn't have to worry about stuff like that, because there was always someone on call. Her father was the only one in charge of Kid's case, and Aoko had a hard time believing that the other officers didn't see how much more work it was for her father when he'd been taking care of other cases all day long.
"It's fine, Dad. It's definitely..." Aoko smiled. "Different. I like it."
"Well, thanks. For a minute there, it sounded like you didn't want to be seen out in public with me."
"No, not at all." In fact, a part of her liked it that her father looked more like a father and less like a police officer. They were going out for ice cream, not an interrogation.
The ice cream parlor was right down the street, so they walked. Aoko looked behind her in the direction of Kaito's house. He only lived two streets down for her and, for a moment, she thought about going over there. They'd used to do that all the time, show up randomly at each other's houses to see if they were home to go to the theater a few blocks down, or to have some company while they went to the store. That had stopped months ago. She'd gone over to Kaito's a few times to find him not home and he hadn't come over either, so she decided that he didn't want to, or else he would.
"Want to invite Kaito-kun along?" her father asked her. Aoko shook her head with a smile, beaming at him.
"He's probably busy, and besides, I rarely ever get to go out with just you."
Her father took her words the wrong and she watched the hurt enter his expression. She hadn't meant it that way, and even if she had, she hadn't meant to say it that way. It wasn't her father's fault that he didn't have much time. He had a job and he did what he could.
"Sorry, Dad. That's not what I meant."
"Sure it was, Aoko." He put a hand on her other shoulder and drew her close to him as they walked. "I'm sorry about all of this. If you want, we can do something next weekend if I don't get called in."
Aoko shook her head, cursing the thief. The least he could do was give her father weekends off. The unfortunate truth was most of his heists fell on days that left her at home with nothing to do besides watch the television reports, to see how late her dad would be out.
"'Kay." It was all she could think of to answer. The chances of her dad having a weekend off were almost zero. Some dark feeling crept through Aoko's nervous system. She couldn't tell what it was but it was unmistakably ominous, most likely aimed at next weekend. Whatever curse it was that touched her, she banished it from her thoughts.
Aoko's heart dropped when they took one step into the shop and the line was already to the door. Teens and several families marked at least twelve people ahead of them, the noise breaking into Aoko's relaxed mood.
Her father must have had the same reaction because he turned to her.
"Want to go somewhere else?"
"No." Aoko stood her ground, the natural spark coming back to her eyes. "We'll wait. We can eat the ice cream when we walk back home, so we don't have to worry about a place to sit."
Her father shrugged his shoulder, complying with her. Her father had always been so good at waiting. She'd been late coming home several times during testing and he had waited, with the food sitting right in front of him, for her to return.
In twenty minutes, most of the crowd had gone and there was only a family of four ahead of them, though several more branched off behind them in a similar position that they had found themselves in when they had entered.
Aoko watched the family ahead of her. There were a girl and a boy no more than two years apart, the boy being the eldest- and they were fighting. The parents didn't do anything about it and, of course, the boy was winning. The girl screamed at her brother, but he wouldn't stop teasing her. It got to the point where the girl started crying and the father had to intervene. Was that how boys were supposed to act around girls? Kaito had never been that way. He teased her, sure, but all kids did. He'd make fun of her for being slower than him, but then he would wait for her to catch up. After school, they'd do their homework together at his house and he would complain after he'd finished his that she must be stupid not to have finished hers when he did. Then he would sit down and help her with the harder problems, often leaving the room and coming back with a snack for both of them.
Aoko stopped, realizing she was comparing herself and Kaito to a brother and sister. Half the time, she wasn't even sure they were friends anymore, but she didn't know how else to label him. Kaito was something special. Not unlike a family member, but just that bit of difference about him that he couldn't be placed in that category, so she had made one up. He was what she called a 'forever friend'. Like a family member, he was someone she'd been with since her earliest memories. Like a family member, he was someone she cherished. And, like a family member, he was someone that she could never truly hate. Blood isn't what runs thick, it's memories, time spent together. If her mother were to rise from the grave, and she would have to chose between keeping the woman she barely remembered alive, or keeping Kaito... there wouldn't even be a choice. It would hurt, badly. She'd hate herself for the rest of her life for it, but she would always choose her friend.
As for the never being truly angry part, that didn't mean she wasn't angry at him. A lot. The siblings in front of her explain why well enough. Kaito did mean and nasty things sometimes, not thinking about others. But there was a difference. As much as she hated him for not being there when she needed him anymore, he wasn't gone. He was just getting on with his own life while she wanted to stay in the safety of what they had. It was her own stupid fault for feeling that way. And, unlike the boy, Kaito was never truly mean. He could be cruel sometimes but then he would joke around with his victim until they were blushing and over it or laughing about the whole situation with him. She had never thought he was anything special, but maybe she was wrong. If all boys acted the way the one in front of her did, it was no surprise that Kaito was one of her only male friends.
Aoko knew she couldn't compete with Akako. Her female classmate was beautiful, and Aoko wasn't afraid to admit it. She'd always been a tomboy, chasing Kaito around even before he'd picked up his more perverted habits. At one time, a few weeks after Akako had joined their class, Keiko had given her some hope. She'd said that immature boys often teased or bullied the girls they liked. So, for an hour or so, she'd been happy.
As the day wore on and Kaito had smirked at her, trying to fly some paper creation over to her, that hope had all but gone. Kaito was many things, and though she called him immature, she knew he wasn't. Kaito was... different. He didn't follow the norms that most people did when it came to personality. Kaito was practically the whole spectrum: childish, supportive, crude, unorthodox, serious... all depending on the flip of a coin. About the important things though, he would never make light of them. He'd brighten the situation, sure, but never try to pass it off as if it were nothing. Since that was the way he acted around her, and she knew loving someone was a very serious thing, she gave up hoping.
The one thing Aoko wanted, even if Kaito didn't feel that way towards her, was to always be friends. Every day that slipped through her fingers, with the missed parties, the late arrivals, the busy evenings, was staggering. She thought being away from him would make it easier to let him go and allow him to live his life, but it didn't. The words stung in her throat, but she couldn't say them. She couldn't tell Kaito she didn't want to be his friend anymore. She wanted to say it, if only for her own sake. It hurt. Every time he promised her something and had to cancel, sometimes not even giving her a phone call to tell her his plans had changed. If she could slip his mind so easily, she wished he could slip hers.
"Aoko?" Her father called her name, worry seeping into his tone. The family in front of them was gone and it was their turn to order.
"Strawberry in one of those small cones," Aoko pointed over the counter at the cones next to the waffle ones. She'd always called them the children's cones before, but she wasn't a child anymore and their given name would always slip her mind.
"Chocolate with the peanut butter pieces."
Aoko knew her father didn't miss her roll her eyes at him. Smoking and chocolate. He was worse than Kaito. The only difference came to the ice cream. Kaito always got swirl, and when Aoko had asked why her chocoholic friend didn't get chocolate, he'd told her cold chocolate was different. That explained nothing. He drank chocolate milk religiously.
"Thanks, Dad." She smiled at her ice cream as it was handed to her and her father got his. She licked it, feeling the cold enter her body and prickle her skin in the air-conditioned parlor.
"Of course." Her dad licked his own, looking so much younger than he was in the clothes and holding the ice cream. She giggled to herself, her father not missing it and raising his eyebrows, only to make her giggle more.
Then the door was slammed open and she stopped laughing.
"Shit!"
There was a man in front of her, his eyes darting around the room. He wore a black winter hat, not fit for the summer weather, and had a long-sleeved black shirt and black pants that he had to be roasting in. She only thought about this for a second though before her full attention rested on the gun in his hand that he took no care in hiding.
People started screaming and Aoko felt her father pull her to the ground as the man shouted to them.
"Anyone try and get out of here and I swear I'll kill ya! Stay right where you are and no one gets hurt!"
People still moved and let out noises of fright and discomfort before the man shot into the ceiling and shut them all up. "Now, I want you all on the ground with your hands were I can see them!"
Aoko was already down on her knees so she stayed where she was. The hand holding her ice cream was shaking so badly she was shocked she hadn't dropped it yet. Her father moved closer to her so she could see him without having to crane her neck backwards. He nodded to her, his own hand resting in front of him while the other put his ice cream down on the floor where it started to melt onto the tile. She debated putting her own cone down but couldn't find the ability to.
"Ain't this just great?" The gunman complained to himself, watching the crowd with narrow eyes. She could just see brunette hair poking out of the hat, but it was too short for her to see a style and his eyes too far for her to judge a color. He continued looking around until he found the little girl that had been in front of Aoko in line and went over to pull her up by the arm. "I don't plan on killing anyone as long as you listen to me! I need a hostage. Now I'm gonna leave and you're all gonna stay right where you are!"
"No." Aoko reached a hand forward, as if to stop him from the distance that lay between them. The man's eyes found her and, at the sound of her voice, the girl started to pull away from the man. When she couldn't get out of his hold, she started to cry.
"Shut up!"
The shout only made the little girl cry more, terrified. The man shoved her back down near the girl's father, who caught her, before striding over to Aoko and pointing the barrel of the gun at her.
"Fine, you're coming with me then."
Her father's hand struck out of nowhere and became a vice-like grip on her arm. "You aren't touching my daughter."
"Then I'm killing your daughter." The gunman pulled back the top of the gun so that it clicked. Aoko didn't know much about firearms, but she knew enough from the movies to know that he'd just put a bullet into the chamber.
She was scared more than she was angry for once. Most of her emotions still lay somewhere in the depths of shock that she couldn't get to, but fear found a way to make itself prevalent. Her shaking had only gotten worse, though her father's hold on her arm hide her fear from their assailant as he stilled her. No, her father couldn't be in front of her. He couldn't die.
There were tears in her eyes and she did little to hold them back, her emotions wreaking havoc on the rest of her body.
"Don't cry."
Someone next to her, someone she was sure wasn't there a second before, ran a hand down the side of her cheek and brushed away the tears that had fallen there. She was shocked enough at his sudden contact that she stopped. He smiled at her, placing a hand on his knee to get up from where he was kneeling next to her.
For a moment, she had thought it was Kaito. She hadn't considered the fact that some stranger would come up to her in a type of situation like this and comfort her. Maybe it wasn't that she had thought he was Kaito for any other reason than she had wanted him to be Kaito.
This man was too old though. His hair was black and wiry, hanging long where Kaito's was soft and short. His eyes were a pale green where Kaito's sparkled as blue as the night sky. This man was dressed in black, bordering on the edge of teen-hood where Kaito wore softer colors and less formal clothes. Once her eyes took in his sight, there was no more pretending that it was her best friend come to her rescue. This man was too different.
"Come on, she's just a young girl." The man stood and held out his arm, palm up, to the gunman. "You're armed. There's no way that any of us could get away from you, so take me. Leave the women and children out of this."
Their attacker wasn't much taller than the man who was offering himself as a hostage. The nervous look in his eyes was enough to tell Aoko that he wasn't about to give up any security he still felt about how in-control of the situation he still was. The man noticed it too, as he lowered his hand in acknowledgment. Her father, as she turned to look at him, had eyes only for the man in front of him, though the newcomer received more than a few hard glances.
"Damn it, just move! I'll let the girl go when I get out of here! Or do you all want to die?" The man pointed the gun back at the guy in black, who raised his hands, eyes wide to show that he had no intention of being shot.
"No one needs to die here, right? You just want a hostage. Okay then." The man, next to her father now, looked back at her still on the ground with the rest of the people in the creamery. Aoko shook her head quickly, eyes wide. He couldn't possibly want her to go with him?
Then the sirens from outside drew in rapidly, red lights bounding off the walls where shadows lingered. Everyone grew tense in those moments, unsure of what the man would do now that the police had arrived.
"God damn it! Can't you people listen? Down, now!" He shoved the gun at the new guy who got down on his knees next to her father while the gunman walked around him and over to the clerk. "Is there a backdoor to this place?"
"Please…" the woman behind the counter begged. "There is, but the manager is the only one who has the key and he's not here." There was a short hiccup at the end of her sentence, though it sounded more like a plea for mercy
"This is why you should have just listened to me!" The man screamed, stomping around in a frenzy. He came back over to their group, shoving his gun in the back of the black-haired man's head. "This is all your fault!"
She was ready for him to pull the trigger, his anger making his hand shake. He wouldn't miss at such a close range.
But the gunman held in his frustration and turned to her, hand held out. "Come on girl! Or should I kill everyone in here to show you how serious I am?"
Her father's hand on her arm tightened as he watched behind him. When that happened, the gun barked once, still pointed at the man who had simultaneously tried to rescue her and feed her to the wolves.
He let out a bit-off noise, the bullet just scraping over his shoulder, near his collarbone. The assailant didn't care if he'd hit him or not, eyes focused on her father.
"Next time it will be your daughter!"
Aoko felt his hand relax on her wrist as the man reached down to drag her to her feet.
She wasn't really sure what happened next, only that she was wet.
Had time slowed down to a pace closer to half the speed it normally ran at, maybe she would have had time to see what had happened- as long as she didn't blink.
Something got in her eye and Aoko raised her hand to wipe it away, taking the ice cream with it that was still held tightly in her palm. She looked down at her wrist to see what she had wiped away. It was chocolate.
Then she looked down at the blur that marred the last few second of her vision, coming to form into the shapes of both the gunman and the man from earlier. The man was taking a deep breath, currently holding a gun that she was sure he hadn't had before she closed her eyes.
Then she noticed the considerable amount of ice cream all over their once-armed aggressor's face as he lay sprawled out on the ground, pinned under the knee of the other man.
"Here." The black-haired man turned to her father and handed him the gun.
Her father seemed just as stunned as she was, though he took the firearm with a straight face and moved so that he was in control of the criminal.
"Thank you."
Both she and her father turned to the newcomer who had just put his life in danger to save them. Someone who - against all odds - managed to bring down someone armed with only her father's melting ice cream cone. Aoko felt her own slid down her fingers like pale blood.
"No need to thank me. I'm sure you would have done the same had it been me and a child of mine." The man stood up, turning his head towards the door. "Everyone, stay where you are. Sir," he shouted to a man closest to the door, somewhere in his thirties and already balding, "go out there and tell the police what happened. If we all rush out of here now, it will only make things more confusing. The rest of you stay where you are. You are safe."
There were a few nods around the room as everyone instinctively listened to the man as if his word were law. Aoko turned to give him a closer once-over, now that her life wasn't in danger. He did seem to have that charisma about him that encouraged people to follow his commands.
"You knocked him out?" Her father turned to the man, looking up at him with an expression that no longer spoke of any gratitude.
"I thought it would be safer this way." The man nodded his head to the downed criminal. "He was acting irrationally and I couldn't be sure what he would do once I disarmed him."
"And just how did you do that? I don't see any marks on him."
Aoko couldn't understand why her father was asking these questions. This man had just saved them all. Who cared how he did it?
"And one more thing." Her father's eyes looked like could have cut diamond. "How did you know to give me the gun? I doubt anyone else here could tell I was an officer."
That had Aoko glancing up at that man. While her father's questions seemed pointless, that was one she wanted answered as well. Her father was hardly wearing the clothes that he would have normally had on. How did...
"You keep getting better at this game, Inspector." The man grinned now, wide enough for her to think he was bordering on laughter. "All I can say this time is that you were lucky I'm such a nice guy- and that I was in the right place at the right time."
"Kid." Her father growled out the word and Aoko's eyes widened, focusing in on any aspect of the man before her that was the same as the thief she'd occasionally seen on the news. While she had expected the grin, nothing about him was the same as what she'd pictured. Ignoring the physical, as Kid was a master of disguises, she focused on the less obvious.
His hands had been in his pockets since her father had identified him. She didn't want to know why. His attitude at being found out was nothing short of calm; as if Kid knew he could escape at any moment. She would have called him laid-back if not for some stiffness she spotted around his body. No, he wasn't calm, but he wanted them to believe he was. Confidant. That was the word that she was looking for. He was prepared to do anything he had to do, when he had to do it.
But then, why had he helped her? There couldn't have been anything for him to gain from it. Kid was a criminal mastermind. He could have escaped on his own long before now.
"You weren't in here before. I didn't see you."
Her father's hard voice snapped her eyes to rest on him and the deep-set lines on his face. "You came in here when you noticed this man at some point outside. You didn't have to help us. You weren't involved in this."
The man lost his smile. "Inspector, do you think so little of me?" And the disdain was clear. Kid was insulted. No, again, that wasn't the right word. It sounded like he was insulted but there was something else. Maybe... hurt? Aoko wasn't sure.
"Why go out of your way to help someone like me? I don't get it." Her father's growls sounded like they wanted to be shouts, but there were people around them still and that would have scared them. "I've seen you help others, sure. But a cop? Me? When you weren't even involved? I don't get it, Kid. Explain it to me."
"If I let you die now, Inspector" Kid closed his eyes, for she was sure it was him now, even though she still couldn't pin him down with words. He was like some comic book character who had no description to go with him, nothing to see past the flashy outfit. Without the costume, Aoko couldn't define him with anything, be them characteristics or any inclination she had into his personality. Like he was no one.
She knew that she'd have to find new reasons to be angry with Kaito for idolizing such a person. Because he really wasn't a bad guy. Aoko didn't like admitting that, but it was hard to refute facts when they were before her. He continued talking to her father as her thought bore deeper into her, "The world would be without someone that it needs. These people." Kids swept his eyes across the room. "The world needs you all. If even one person is relying on you, you are important. Your life is beyond measure."
"How spiritual of you," her father spit out.
Kid laughed lightly, walking away. "I never claimed to be a saint."
When he reached the door, he walked out, those around the parlor staying where they were even with their leader gone.
"You're just going to let him go, Dad?"
Aoko turned to her father. He shook his head, looking torn on just that subject. "I can't leave this guy. Kid's beyond tempting me, but I can't risk everyone's safety for that bastard."
"Why was he here?" It was the one thing that had Aoko most confused. Sure, he was human, but she had never thought before that he could be someone that she passed everyday on her way to the store or school.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."
...
Aoko didn't get much sleep that night, most of the time being interviewed by the police and the rest of it too scared about what had just happened to rest peacefully.
She could have died. Her father could have died. All their lives were in danger... and the one who had saved them was a criminal.
Those thoughts weren't any vote of confidence on her part, but they did help her nap a few times before school started in the morning. As usual, Kaito met her at the door, looking bored and playing with something in his pocket.
She didn't say anything to him about last night, not just because she was embarrassed to admit that she thought that Kaito was going to magically show up and save her, but also because her knight-in-shining-armor was that stupid thief.
She didn't have to worry about dodging his question because Kaito fell asleep halfway into first period. He even slept through lunch and every single one of their other classes. He'd been woken up a few times by their other classmates and their strict English teacher, but he'd fallen back to sleep each time. Aoko had to wonder what Kaito was up to that kept him up so late that he slept through class.
When the rest of the students cleared out, she stared, patronizingly, at her friend's sleeping form. She poked him in the side a few times, calling his name. When Kaito didn't respond, she started getting mad. She'd been through so much last night! If anyone should be sleeping right now, it was her!
"Kaito, wake up!" Aoko said in annoyance, placing a hand on his shoulder and shaking him. "Class already... ended." Her words grew slowly quieter. Kaito was really wet. What had he been doing? She wiped her hand off on her skirt, angrily shaking her head. "Honestly."
"What?" Kaito blinked an eye open, his face still mostly hidden in the alcove of his arms.
"You sleep through class and then you can't even get up when the bell rings!" Aoko raised her hand to hit him on the back of the head. The brush of red against her fingers froze her hand mid-swing. Kaito's eyes closed again, either in his return to sleep or preparation for her slap. Why were her fingers red?
She drew her hand in close to her and brushed the fingers of her other hand against it, watching it easily wipe away. Then she looked down at her skit that held just the hint of a darker color. Her breath caught when she realized why. No, it had to be a coincidence. There was...
Aoko shook her head, tears on the edges of her eyes. "Never mind."
Kaito blinked his eyes forcibly open. She felt his stare on her as she dashed out of the room. "Wait...! What did I do?"
She heard the scrape of chair legs and soon his footsteps were echoing after hers. "Aoko, wait! What's wrong?"
Aoko turned on her heels, staring death at him as Kaito took in the last few feet that separated them in the hallway. She took both her hands and pushed him away from her as hard as she could, watching him wince, favoring one side over the other. Because there was a wound there. And it was bleeding. And there was no way that Kaito would get hurt like that and not go to the hospital unless he had a reason. Like keeping it from her.
"You BAKA!"
"Aoko, wait!" Kaito reached after her but she was long gone, tripping over he own feet to get as far away from him as she could.
"Aoko!"
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" She shook her head, trying to come up with some excuse for him. She'd done it in the past…she could do it now. But no...maybe her past self had enough faith in her best friend that she could have defended him then. The bit of her old self that she had left wasn't enough to keep her trust afloat. All the hurting of not seeing him was nothing compared to what she was feeling now. She'd been betrayed. She'd been lied to and used.
"Aoko, please! I..." Kaito was still behind her, still perusing her like she was the one in the wrong.
"Get away from me!"
Then his footsteps grew quiet. "Please, Aoko! I just want to talk to you."
She stopped, confidant enough that he wasn't close enough to touch her. She wouldn't be able to stand it. His hands were always so warm...
Aoko shook her head, looking at him with anguished eyes. This wasn't something that could be talked through. This wasn't something that any of his prettied up words could change. Nothing. There was nothing left to do. It was like broken glass, only the pieces were too small to even pick up at this point.
And Kaito... it was so hard to look at him now. He was more than fifteen feet from her but she could see his expression, just as desolate as her heart if not stronger in some conviction he must have held. She had nothing to fall back on. He was her back up. Her strength. She never realized how fully she had relied on Kaito before now. Without him...
"Why didn't you-... Why did-..." She shook her head. It didn't matter. Kaito would be who he wanted to be and do what he wanted to do. That was just the way he was.
"I'm sorry."
She looked up in time to see Kaito close his eyes. As if proving how good he was at everything, he reached out a hand to the wall on his left until he touched it, leaning against it with his eyes still shut. As if reluctant to see what was in front of him, he opened them, making sure not to look in her direction. "You were leaving, weren't you?"
Aoko didn't know what it was, maybe the way he was speaking to her as if she was a stranger- as if none of this meant a thing to him- but she started crying and the tears didn't want to stop.
"Ah, don't-" Kaito raised one of his hands as if to come over to her and wipe her tears away. His hand fell to his side quickly but the gesture had already made more tears come.
A smile tugged at the corner of his lips and he shook his head in return to a question he only asked in his mind. "Right. What am I doing? I should-" Kaito let himself have that smile, waving at her. "Bye."
And then he started walking away, like he was leaving her. Like this was all her fault. She could have grabbed him and screamed at him for how stupid he was. She wanted to. Oh, how she wanted to.
At least, for the first few seconds.
Then all she knew was hurt because he words sounded so final. What was he going to do? She knew. She knew he was-... who he was, what he had done. She had to tell her father. And there he was, walking away with that stupid smile that he always gave her- because he had a way out. She didn't. "It's not fair," she whispered under her breath.
How he could have caught it, with the distance that separated them now, she didn't know. But Kaito must have heard her words because he turned around, looking at her, though she was too far to see his eyes.
"Please, Aoko." Kaito scratched that back of his head, looking away. "What do you want? Just tell me that. I'll do it."
She frowned, trying to see him better. She couldn't understand what that idiot was telling her. What did she want? What the hell was she supposed to want! She was barely clinging to the situation at hand without falling apart as it was. She wanted that baka to go back in time and stop being the stupid idiot he was!
The same idiot who cried during every sad movie they'd ever watched as if the he were feeling the same pain as the characters. Who methodically took care of anything she asked him to, no matter how stupid. Who would make her laugh when all she wanted to do was cry. Who could make her forget that she was just one person and couldn't accomplice anything on her own.
... the same idiot who stole from her, who lied to her, who went behind her back, who drove her mad, who made her help him lie to her own father...
... Who couldn't be anyone else then that stupid little boy that wanted nothing more than to make her smile all those years ago.
She fell to her knees and just cried with the weight of it all. What was she supposed to do? This wasn't about her. It was never about her. It was she that was a character in someone else's story. Whatever power Kaito may have thought he was giving her, he wasn't. In the end, the choice lay with him. If she told him to jump off a bridge and die, he wouldn't do it. He had the final say.
"Aoko..."
She fell back, feeling the pain in her leg because she was forcing her legs a way they didn't want to bend. Kaito was in front of her, one knee on the same cold tile she was on, his fingers curled in towards his palm as he pulled back. She hadn't even noticed him come back. "Sorry."
The words flew out of her mouth, being the first thing she had thought of and mad enough at Kaito to say it. "Go jump off a bridge and die!"
His expression was nothing short of utterly shocked, one eyebrow going up to show how insane he thought she was. She huffed, turning away from him. She knew he wouldn't listen to her.
"Hey, Aoko... you're not serious, are you?" He moved his head to try and peek at her face. She moved further, trying to keep him away from her.
"Of course I am! I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't!"
"That's a bit drastic, don't you think?"
"No, I think it's just perfect!"
"Then look at me and say it." She felt his warm touch on her leg. She could do it. She had to just turn and face him. He wouldn't really listen to her anyway.
So Aoko turned, eyes still full of tears and fresh anger at his touch, for being both unwanted and gentle, and glared at him. "I want you to jump off a bridge and die."
His crystal blue eyes searched hers. She knew she wasn't good at hiding her emotions. Why should she? It was stupid to pretend you felt something you didn't. Then again, Kaito had been doing a lot of pretending. There was no way he could understand what she felt, what she'd been feeling. All because of him. He was such an idiot.
"Fine." Kaito shoved himself off the ground and passed her, walking to the front of the school. "You asked me to though. You can't call me an idiot for listening to you."
"It's not like you're gonna do it!"
"Aoko!" Kaito turned on her, a fiery anger there that she hadn't seen from him very often. Kaito was almost never shaken up enough to show just how mad he was. "I want to do what you want me to do! Just tell me what it is!"
Then he sighed, his shoulders slumping as he walked back over towards her, brushing his fingers down her cheek as she turned as far away as she could from him. "You don't know what you want, and if you do, you don't want to say it, right? Well, I'm gonna make all your problems go away. I'm going to leave and you'll never have to see me again. That way, there's no guilt, alright? I promise, you'll feel better. I didn't mean too..." Kaito smiled. "Never mind. Now, do whatever you want. I won't bother you anymore."
She grabbed onto his wrist before he could pull away. "What a stupid promise! You bother me all the time. You're the most annoyingly persistent person I've ever met! And to make me any kind of promise...! You are such a liar, how can I believe anything you say? So you're just going to leave and pretend this never happened? Oh yeah, that's going to fix everything, isn't it? Walk away from all your problems!"
"Then what do you want me to do! If I stay here-..." Kaito cut himself off, looking away. "So, you want me to stay. I'll stay. Go ahead and think it's a lie if you want. After all, I can't possibly make you hate me more, can I?"
"Shut up! Just shut up!"
The school was very quiet after that.
"But I-"
"No," Aoko breathed. "Don't say anything. You're going to listen to me." She waited for Kaito to nod. He did, rolling his eyes at the end for extra measure. "Okay. Now, here are the facts. You've lied to me. A lot. You've lied to my dad. You've lied to everyone. You've stolen. You've become someone awful. And-" She raised a finger up to Kaito's face, shushing him when he tried to speak. "I said listen to me! Okay, these are all facts. There are a lot of policeman looking for you, including my dad." Her eyes started to water-up but she tried to ignore it as best she could. "You've done really bad things, Kaito." After swallowing to help get her words out, she continued, "but you helped us..."
"Of course I did!"
"I told you to be quiet!"
"I can't!" Kaito clenched his hand, still her possession, into a fist. "Of course I helped you! I've had to follow you out practically every night this month! I've barely gotten any sleep at all! Your dad likes to stay out drinking at least once a week. I'm glad he's favored Saturday nights or I never would have gotten all my homework done too."
"Why have you been following us?"
"Because..." Kaito gave up his crouched position and sat on the floor with her. "Because of me. It's nothing your dad or you did, but he's after me. And that's dangerous. Things have been getting worse recently." Kaito rubbed his eye and Aoko took a good look at him, seeing how tired he was. She didn't think he was lying.
"So you're dangerous...?"
"No! Ah!" Kaito rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not dangerous. At least, not on purpose. Being around me is dangerous. I've made a lot of enemies that could care less who's an innocent civilian and who's a decorated police officer. If they get a shot at you, you're dead. I've been lucky. Ah..." Kaito sighed again. "I wish the man hadn't found out."
His blue eyes found hers, trying to show her something that he couldn't speak. "You know, you're not the first one to find me out. I guess I really am an idiot. Can't even hide my trail."
"Who else knows?" Her voice was quiet. If someone knew what Kaito was, why hadn't they turned him into the police?
"When there are high-ranked criminals, they always make sure that there are others under them to take on the job if they can't. I faced one recently... he died." Kaito close his eyes. "I tried to stop him, but sometimes you can't. Sometimes people are too far gone to help, no matter how much you try. I almost took a bullet for my efforts." Kaito's laugh was anything but happy.
"Wait... who?" Aoko's eyebrows knitted together. She didn't remember any criminals dying recently.
"Ah..." Kaito closed his mouth, turning away. "It's not important. The thing was…he had friends- backup. He was ready to take me on even after he died. These friends of his were smart. They were able to track me down easy enough since he started them with someone who was close to me. While Mom could get away..." Kaito turned back to look at her, worried. "I couldn't warn you and your dad. What was supposed to say? So I've been watching you…yesterday was a mistake. I think they gave it to one of their underlings but neglected to give him enough information. He was to kill a girl, someone accompanied by her father." Kaito's eyes sparkled. "I got there in time, but I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't. Even if he would have taken you, outside I would have been free to move. With your dad watching me, I was lucky that I got away with what I did."
"Kaito." Aoko knew she was crying again but she couldn't help it. "What's going on?"
"Damn it." Like before, Kaito's fingers brushed against her cheek, colder now that her face was warm with emotion. "Stop crying, okay? There's a lot happening, and I really do wish I could make it all stop, but I can't. And I know... I know I haven't been the best friend. Sometimes, when I have been ... you know... making sure you guys were okay, I'd see your face. I didn't mean to make you feel like this. You have no idea how many times I just wanted to come in and be with you, but if they saw me... I couldn't be around. School was safe, but..."
"Kaito?" she whispered.
"Yeah?"
"I know what I want."
Kaito let his hand fall and she watched her friend resign himself to her command. "Yeah?"
"Tell my dad everything you're not telling me, but we're going to lie." Her eyes were glassy with tears. "We're going to say you went snooping around and heard that someone thought you were Kid, so now they're after you. My dad will make sure you're safe. If you can though, please tell him everything about these people," Aoko took his hand and wrapped both of hers around his larger one. Kaito would always be Kaito, no matter what he looked like. "Tell him as... you know, Kid. He already thinks your weird, as the thief, protecting us like you did. Pretending to protecting yourself won't be that much harder to believe."
"Aoko," Kaito shook his head. "I'm not going to make you lie to your dad."
"I've done it for you before."
"You didn't think it was a lie then."
"Didn't I?" Aoko looked back on the memory. She didn't know how he'd done it, but she was sure Kaito hadn't been at that movie with her, she just hadn't wanted to look and spoil the trick - because she had wanted to believe he was there.
"Thanks, Aoko. I mean it." Kaito took his other hand and placed it on top of hers. "And here you asked me to go kill myself. I think I like this request better, though it's just as dangerous." Kaito snickered and Aoko joined in. For a few seconds, they were both happy.
"Things aren't going to be the same," she whispered.
"I know." He sighed. "I know."
"You can't lie to me anymore."
"I figured."
"And you have to tell me every time you go somewhere, anywhere. Kaito or Kid. I'm your supervisor from now on."
Kaito raised his eyebrow. "You want me to call you every time I need to use the toilet?"
She punched him lightly on the arm. Or, she thought it was light. Kaito winced and rubbed the spot.
"Baby."
"Am not! You could try and act like a girl every now and then!"
"And you could act a little more mature, Kid!"
Kaito twitched and Aoko wished she hadn't said that. The name felt like an acid between them.
"I'm going to have to get used to that."
"Me too," Aoko agreed. It would take a long time too, and a lot of it was going to be spent with Kaito. She wanted to know everything, especially if he had no one else to tell it too. She could only imagine, with how lonely she'd been without him for so long, how much harder it would be to do what he'd done. Be the person he was. Kaito couldn't have done it. Not the same friend whose goal in life was to make sure that everyone was happy. A goal that she had agreed to at a funeral that she would never forget.
Then Kaito was hugging her and she was lost in the warmth of his body pressed against hers. "You don't have to be afraid, Aoko. I'm going to do what you said. Then I'm gonna make sure you're safe. If I can't hide myself from them...then, Aoko, I'll give it up. I really will. I don't want you to be in danger." She felt is warm breath on her neck as he snuggled himself into her hair. "I'll tell you. No more lies. But right now... as long as you're safe and your dad's gonna help me, I'm not going to stop."
She cried into his shirt, nodding. "And you're going to tell me why?"
"Only you. You'll be the first person that I've had to tell, and hopefully the only one. Then we'll be safe and this will all be behind us."
All the crying, the yelling, the pain... it was there. But she suddenly didn't care about it anymore. Kaito was here and he wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't so much relief that she didn't have to be alone anymore. That was a part of it, and a very human part of it, but it was something totally unselfish that was blossoming inside her. He was here. She was with him. They were together for not just her need, but also his, and her father's. She couldn't even guess at what else was going on that she was missing, but she knew it was there because that was just like Kaito- to be doing something stupidly silly behind all of their backs while he played the bad guy.
She'd been waiting so long, but it wasn't for this. This was something unexpected, new, and not altogether unwanted. As much as he was holding her, she was holding him right back. Right now, they were starting something that she wasn't afraid to see all the way through. It sounded like it was going to be dangerous, and the blood seeping into her shirt from their hug was enough to tell her that it was going to be Kaito that was going to be hurt. And not just once. Because that's the kind of person he is.
But there was something she wasn't going to tell him, though Aoko was sure that he knew her just as well as she knew him. She was that kind of person too.