A/N: Yeah I still don't own the turtles, Battle Shell or anything else.

Crusader is officially the longest story I've written on here. 17K+ words. Actually it's probably the longest story I've ever written. And a great big thank you to my beta reader, Mystic Medjai.

Warning: Mikey says a couple of words that aren't that bad, but they are cuss words. But then, they're about to be blown up. Who could blame him?

Chapter 9: Hatred

(A couple minutes before)

Mikey felt like he was slowly going crazy. The Crusader's systems were sort of free now. Sort of. The main computer still had the virus embedded deep inside and as a result only a complete shutdown and restart of all the systems would give them even a semblance of control. But that took time. Time they didn't have.

To make matters worse, Jazz wasn't addressing the most urgent problem at the moment. She was focusing on some of the more minor systems of all things. The monitor above their heads had begun to flash, now counting down in double digits.

"Jazz! Dammit! Forget that and get to work on the Self Destruct Program." Mikey frantically began to push any and all buttons, levers, and switches he could reach. The hazard lights flashed on and he watched as John, who was standing between them and the Land Shark, slowly turn to face them.

Mikey pushed the button again, trying to signal that they needed help. The lights flashed again and then a series of sparks erupted from the board, forcing Mikey to yank his hand back.

Jazz finally responded, her voice harsh as she turned from her boards. Her gaze desperately searching for a way out. "You don't get it, Mikey. The self destruct system builds up power towards an explosion. Once it hits a certain point there is no turning it off."

[0:35]

[0:34]

[0:33]

"Remind me to kill the person that designed a self destruct sequence in the first place!" Mikey growled.

"That would be me."

"Why the hell would you design one?"

"Because of the promise we made. That we would never allow Bishop to get a hold of either of us again. It seemed like a logical decision at the time."

"If it was so logical, then why in the world didn't you design a cancel button to go with it!"

Jazz opened her mouth to make a snide remark and paused. Snapping her mouth shut she leaped out of her chair and pulled out her katana. She poked the floor behind the driver's and navigator's seats a couple times before finding what she was looking for.

Mikey watched as she began to slice the carpet from the floor. The desperation he had felt earlier was now gone, and he was left with a mind numbing pain. Tears welled up in his eyes and he tore his gaze from what Jazz was doing to stare out the window to where the Battle Shell was barreling towards them.

He hated that he couldn't even say goodbye to them. Hated that he had wasted so much time by running away that night. Hated that he was stuck in this death wagon. His eyes narrowed and he transferred the hatred from himself to the Crusader.

If it hadn't been for the Crusader, even before it was built, he wouldn't be in this position now. He wouldn't be faced with losing everything he held dear. If it wasn't for the Crusader he wouldn't be about to watch his best friend die.

Anger washed over him and he began to strike out at any part of the Crusader he could reach. Beating his fists into the consoles, cracking the monitors, and bruising his knuckles till they were about to bleed. Tears ran freely down his face behind the mask.

Jazz briefly glanced up at the distraught turtle. She wanted nothing more than to go and comfort him, but she couldn't. She had to get the hatch open. Quickly. If she didn't it wouldn't matter anymore. Tossing the katana aside, she pulled her out her sai and tried to wedge it under the side of the hatch. It hadn't been opened since the vehicle had been built, and little dents and debris had more or less fused it shut. She felt a sudden movement and her sai slid under the edge. Grinning triumphantly she quickly opened the hatch.

Mikey's anger evaporated as quickly as it had arrived and he collapsed into his chair. He stared around at the vehicle he had come to love. He and Jazz had put everything into designing her, and as much as he might have wanted, there was just no way he could hate the Crusader. For long anyway.

He glanced up at the monitor that was still counting down. Less than twenty seconds now. He sighed, then jumped when Jazz's hand tightened around his wrist and yanked him forward.

"Time to go, Mike." She pulled him towards the hole in the floor of the vehicle and he would have hesitated at the site of the ground moving under vehicle if she hadn't pushed him. He fell, and out of instinct he tucked and rolled as the vehicle passed over him. He came to a sudden halt, gasping for breath as his body seemed to throb with pain. He almost yelped as he felt Jazz roll up against him.

It was quiet for a moment, then a harsh explosion sounded nearby and he threw himself over Jazz to shield her from most of the flying debris. A large piece of metal came flying towards him, and this time he did yelp loudly as the metal banged hard against his shell. Darkness began to crowd his vision and he blinked, his gaze falling on the burning remains of the Crusader. He smiled. It wasn't the end of the Crusader. For like a phoenix from the ashes, The Crusader would rise again. His smile widened as the darkness swept in to claim him.

As the fire seemed to die down a little, John Anderson stood up and moved forward. A second, smaller, explosion had him dropping to the ground as more metal went flying. He stiffened as he heard a pain filled yelp. Lifting up, he searched the area for wounded and spotted a large piece of metal from the Land Shark laying at an odd angle some 20 yards behind where the two vehicles were burning.

Waving at the New Boundaries Med-evac helicopter hovering nearby, he caught their attention and pointed to the ground where the metal lay. As the helicopter began to land he ran over. Pulling back the piece of metal he was shocked to see Mikey and Jazz laying there. Mikey groaned and curled up into a ball.

John started forward, wanting to see if his friend was alright when he was shoved roughly back. Several of the paramedics from the helicopter moved in like a small army and had the driver and his navigator on the med-evac before he could say a word.

Getting angry, John pushed his way forward. "How are they?"

One of the paramedics glanced up. "Shadowmoon is in pretty bad shape, she took a hit to the back. Most likely from the undercarriage of the Crusader. Rodenco doesn't look that bad but we won't know more until we are in the air and are able to remove his racing suit."

John nodded and stepped back. "Keep me informed on their status."

The helicopter lifted off and he turned back to wreckage just in time to see Mikey's brothers stop the Battle Shell nearby. Moving quickly, he headed over to meet them.

(In the Battle Shell)

The explosion died away, leaving three stunned brothers staring in disbelief. The Battle Shell rolled on, unchecked, for a couple of minutes.

"No..." Don whispered softly.

"Mikey!" Raph's sudden outburst jerked Leo out of his shock. Before he could reach for his brother however, the red banded turtle had launched himself out of the vehicle as it finally came to a stop.

"Raph!"

The turtle ignored him, or didn't even hear his leader's hoarse shout.

John intercepted Raph before the turtle could do something stupid, like throwing himself into the burning wreckage. Grabbing him, John pulled him away in case something else decided to explode.

Raphael fought him. Slamming his fists into the human hard, cursing with each breath he took. John took the punishment for a moment before pushing Raph back and trying to shake the turtle into listening to him. It didn't work and only caused Raph to attack more viciously.

John was beginning to tire, but was saved from having to fight back by a pair of gloved hands suddenly reaching forward and pulling Raph away. Leo wrapped his arms around the shaking turtle and Raph instantly gave up his fight, turning to bury his head against his brother's shoulder.

Catching his breath, he watched as the three brothers folded around each other. Even though they all wore helmets he could see the tears in each of their eyes.

Tearing his gaze away, he made a quick call, requesting the turtles med-evac helicopter land nearby. Once done he turned back to them, hoping like hell they were ready to listen. He really wasn't up to defending himself against three ninjas.

"Leonardo."

He watched as the eldest stiffened and turned slightly to face him. He winced, not really having meant to say the name so harshly.

"Your brother is not dead. He and Jazz both managed to get out of the vehicle before it exploded. They've been taken to the New Boundaries private medical center."

Raph tensed and whirled around on him. "Why the hell didn't you say that sooner!"

John rubbed his chin ruefully. "You didn't exactly give me a chance to say anything."

Leo stepped forward. "I want to see Mikey."

As if on cue, the turtles own Shell Coptor came in and landed nearby. Casey Jones leapt out and ran over to them. John toward him, yelling so the man could hear him over the helicopter's rotors.

"Mr. Jones, please take care of the Battle Shell. I am going to take them to see their brother."

Casey nodded and moved towards the vehicle, clapping Raph reassuringly on the shoulder as he passed.

A few minutes later they were in the air and on their way. John leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. After today the AVRA would be in trouble. And he wasn't sure how they were going to save it. Race protestors would jump at the chance to claim that it was too dangerous of a sport. He sighed heavily. Maybe they were right.

Hearing a noise he opened his eyes and glanced around the helicopter's interior. The three brothers were still close to each other, but now no longer holding onto each other. A strange emotion bubbled up inside and he found himself getting envious. He had no siblings to worry about.

The flight was a fairly short one, but it was still several hours before they were allowed to see their brother. John was eventually forced to leave, being the only founder still on his feet, the AVRA needed him. Giving the hospital his cell number, he left reluctantly to take care of business.

Raphael paced the room. It was a medium sized room, painted off-white and filled with various pieces of medical equipment. The room housed two beds, his brother occupied one of them, still unconscious from whatever the doctors had given him while they checked out his injuries. They hadn't been severe. Thank God. Mikey had some bad bruises but that was it.

He stopped to glance back at the bed for the hundredth time. And smiled slightly. Leo sat beside the bed, reading some magazine, while Don couldn't seem to make up his mind. The now helmetless turtle wandered back and forth between the bed.

Raph let his gaze slide down to the other occupied bed in the room, and his smiled vanished. Jazz had been injured quite a bit worse than his brother. It had been determined that the undercarriage of the Crusader had hit the woman in the back as they had escaped. As a result she had severe scrapes across her back as well as some heavy bruising. The woman would not be on her feet for some time.

Raph stopped pacing for a moment and studied her. They didn't know her that well, but it was obvious that his brother trusted her. And while they didn't exactly trust her the way he did yet, they respected her. A small noise caught his attention, and he was beside his brother's bedside in a flash.

Michelangelo gasped as he swam up through the darkness. Memories of the attack and the explosion that followed ran through his mind in rapid fire images. A second later his eyes snapped open and he sat up with a jerk. A low moan escaped as several hands tried to push him back down. He fought them for a moment before realizing they belonged to his brothers.

"Jazz?" He gasped, panic setting in that she wasn't here.

"Take it easy, Mikey, she's all right." Leo pressed down gently on Mikeys shoulder as he once again tried to sit up. "She's on the bed over there." He nodded in her direction. "She's bruised and has some nasty scrapes on her back, but she'll be just fine."

Mikey relaxed back against the bed. His whole body hurt, but it seemed to be getting a little better the more he woke up. With the worry gone, he finally took in his surroundings. Recognizing the sterile walls of the New Boundaries Private Hospital, he grimaced. It was a great place, but he hated being here. It was always so boring. Letting his gaze continue on he paused as it passed over each of his brothers faces. All three had almost identical looks of relief and anger.

"What?" Mikey shifted uncomfortably, sighing as he recognized the looks his brothers were giving him. He hated lectures.

"Do you have any idea what you put us through out there, Mikey?" Leo asked sternly.

"It's not like I planned it!" Indignant, Mikey pulled himself up a little straighter on the bed.

"You didn't even warn us that the Crusader was going to self destruct." Don's voice was quiet as he stepped closer and rested a hand on his brother's shoulder.

Mikey gritted his teeth, anger and hurt washing over him. He wanted to lash out at them, scream that there hadn't been anything he could do. Instead, all of the anger, pain and hopelessness he had felt during those last few seconds hit him hard. He gave a strangled cry before breaking down completely.

His brothers shot startled looks at each other before turning when another voice spoke up, soft and barely above a whisper.

"He tried. The Shell Cell he was using was old and hadn't been charged in years. It was amazing it lasted as long as it did." Jazz's eyes flashed at them angrily from her bed. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to face the end of your life and not be able to reach out to those you love? Besides, I doubt you could have done anything anyway."

Raphael's scowl hardened, but for an entirely different reason. Here they were, getting angry at Mike for almost dying and they were angry because he hadn't old them everything when they should be comforting him. Heck, if Raph had been in his place, he probably wouldn't want to tell his brothers he was about to die either.

'Hey bros, just wanted to say goodbye. We're about to die in an explosion. Love you all.' Yeah, that would've been nice.

Pushing past his brothers, he sat down on the edge of the bed. Coaxing Mikey into his arms he held him tightly, rocking him gently until he calmed down.

Leo and Don were quick to join them, crowding onto what little space was left on the bed, both of them whispering their apologies and that they were relieved he was okay.

Jazz watched the brotherly moment, a small smile on her face as Mikey stopped crying and leaned into his brothers hugs, hiccupping slightly. There were probably still some issues to deal with in reestablishing their relationships with each other, but it was obvious they were on the mend.

Leaning back against her pillow, she allowed sleep to overcome her tired body, a slight smile still on her lips.