One: The Tables are Turned

Disclaimer: I'd just like to say that I don't own this stuff. (No, not even the caustic toilet cleaning substance)
Disclaimer Part Two: hi there, this is an experimental project based on linguistic puns. Try not to worry.

Canon verse : spoilers for post SS Arc : rated T

It was a normal day in Hueco Mundo. The Arrancars were bickering, the Espadas were destroying buildings, and the Menos were...well, snacking on each other. It was, typically, normal.

Up in the more secluded areas of Las Noches, Tousen Kaname twiddled his thumbs in anticipation. According to this newfangled device from the Transient World called a PDA (what luck, it came with a voice function), lunch was to be served in an hour's time.

From the vast expanse of white sand beyond the castle, a long, thin object could be seen stretching from one tower window to the ground, uprooting random unfortunate trees and occasionally retracting playfully.

Clearly, Ichimaru Gin had nothing to do.

Back in the palace, Aizen sat in his throne admiring the Hogyoku, fondly rubbing its slightly angular surface while quietly humming a cheerful ditty to himself. He, too, was having a relaxed morning basking in the glory of his manipulative complex.

-0-0-0-

However, as the day progressed, things seemed to be less and less normal. It had all started when Aizen stumbled across one of his favourite little tables lying upturned along the corridor.

Thinking it had been the work of some foul, malodorous, lowly Arrancar, he tenderly repositioned it, all the while muttering curses and swears.

At that time, Aizen thought nothing of the incident. It was, after all, just an upset table (that actually rather upset him as well).

It was only during lunch, while he was luxuriously perched on his pristine throne consuming what was known as a TV dinner, that he began to smell a rat. (A rather large rat, at that).

Hordes of Arrancar had come rushing into his throne room, complaining about how all the tables in the dining hall were placed firmly upside down with their four wooden legs pointing skywards. All the tableware was still set as neatly as ever - but on the underside of the table. The chairs, however, had been reportedly unaffected.

Soon after that, the Espadas too blasted their way through the double oak doors to the throne room, bemoaning the unfortunate upturning of the large banquet table at which they had their meals. They lodged the same complaint - that lunch was served on the underside of the overturned table and the flowers nicely arranged in the centre. The tablecloth was apparently spread neatly over the floor with the tabletop placed skilfully in the centre, while the chairs were arranged primly around the setup.

Just as the sovereign figure of authority was about to suspect his silver-haired right-hand-man, said man bristled into the room, eyes (and unsheathed sword) flashing dangerously. Immediately, a path cleared for him.

It turned out that his blindingly white desk had been set upon its smooth top finishing, and like every other table, had its occupants repositioned on its belly. Following this influx of complaints, Tousen stumbled hurriedly into the room, wailing about how his favourite desk had been replaced by four wooden poles roughly the same height as his table.

Growing steadily more and more annoyed and irate, Aizen quickly arranged for a telecommunications screen meeting with Soul Society, just to confirm some of his suspicions.

-0-0-0-

'Shinigami!' the highly distinguished man hissed. 'What is the meaning of upsetting all of my tables?' he screeched. The Arrancars "boo-ed" excitedly.

Aizen's speech of courage was met with amused gazes and suppressed giggles.

'What?' he roared. 'I'll castrate the lot of you!' he shrieked in a rather ungainly manner. Did they have any idea how much he'd paid for all those tables?

'Now, now, Sousuke-kun,' Kyouraku managed to say before bursting into a fit of chuckles.

'Get on with it,' the dignified man threatened.

'Well, this just means,' Kuchiki Byakuya picked up calmly, 'that the tables are turned. This is war, Aizen Sousuke.'

-0-0-0-

Meanwhile, Shihoin Yoruichi and Soi Fon clinked glasses of alcohol.

'A job well done, Soi Fon.'

Author's note: please feedback; it would be very much appreciated! thankyou.
should this continue into a series, there may or may not be AUs. if there are, it will be marked at the top of the specific chapter.