Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters... They belong to the amazing Louise Rennison.
17. I love Edward, he's so tres tres sexy
Wednesday, 11 July
9:39 am
Eating le tres tres yummy breakfast that the Hornmeister made me.
I'd embarrassed myself yesterday. I acted like a massive tart.
Why Georgia? Why?
3 minutes later
The Hornmeister wrapped his arms around me. 'I love you.'
'I'm such a tart.' Davey raised his eyebrows.
'No.' The Hornmeister kissed me. 'I love Kittykat.'
A small smile appeared on my lips.
Dave laughed. 'Kittykat's smiling.' The smile widened.
The Hornmeister hugged me properly. I really love Dave.
Every moment with the Hornmeister's tres tres marvy.
1 minute later
The Hornmeister's mobile is ringing.
It's Rollo: Davey put him on speaker phone.
'I hate you.'
'I love you too, Rolland.'
'Don't start. Why didn't you tell me?'
'About what Darlin?'
'Your holiday with Georgia!' Ooo... Rollo's annoyed.
'Temper temper. It was none of your busy-ness.'
'David don't give me no gyp.' Dave laughed.
'Rolland. Rolland. Rolland...'
Rollo interrupted. 'David!' Dave tutted.
'You know the Biscuit isn't sworn to telling you fules everything.'
Rollo mumbled something that I couldn't understand.
1 minute later
The Hornmeister and Rollo bickered a little more.
Well... until Jools voice was heard.
'Ro. Come back to bed, Bumblebee.' Bumblebee?
Where, in the name of Lord Sandra's Y-Fronts, did that come from?
Hmmm... I don't think Jools knows that Rollo's on the phone.
Dave just laughed. 'Julia requires Bumblebee's attention.'
'Shut up!' Rollo growled.
'Ooo. Bumblebee's got a sting in his tail.'
Hehe. Rollo hung up.
I raised my eyebrows. 'Bumblebee?'
Dave's running his fingers through my hair.
'Arr... Kittykat doesn't know 'bout Bumblebee and Tootsie.'
'Tootsie?' The Hornmeister laughed like a loon.
'Dear Julia's Tootsie. Did Julia not tell Kittykat?'
'No!' Dave snogged me. Number 6.
Can't believe Jools didn't tell me about Tootsie.
It's a thousand times better than Hunky and Po.
Hehe... Bumblebee and Tootsie.
9:47 am
Texting Jools.
Hey Tootsie... You and Bumblebee have a fabbity night ;)
4 minutes later
Having a naice warm shower.
'KITTYKAT! YOU HAVE A TEXT FROM DEAR JULIA!'
'DAVID! ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY TEXT MESSAGES?!'
'THE BISCUIT IS CHECKING KITTYKAT DOESN'T HAVE A BIT ON THE SIDE!'
Dave just laughed like a loon. 'AND DON'T CALL ME DAVID!'
I sighed. Why am I dating such a fule?
'WHAT DID JOOLS SAY?!'
'I'M GOING TO KILL THAT HORNMEISTER! ROLLO SAID HE WOULDN'T TELL A SOUL!'
I laughed. 'THE BISCUIT DIDN'T TELL A SOUL! THE BISCUIT TOLD KITTYKAT!'
10 minutes later
The Hornmeister is waiting for Kittykat. 'What?'
Dave's smugness right now is a ickle unnerving.
'Nothing Kittykat. Get dressed.'
I raised my eyebrows.
Dave raised his higher.
'You replied to Jools. Didn't you?'
The Hornmeister nodded. Oh God.
3 minutes later
Fully dressed.
Hmmm... The Hornmeister has been amusing himself with my mobile.
Text to Jools.
I've taken Kittykat hostage. If you wish to see her returned safely, you will follow my demands vair carefully. You shall hence refer to me as Your Royal Highness Prince Biscuit. You shall not interrupt the Biscuit's Kittykat time. And you shall make Rolland not mad with the Biscuit.
Text to Mabs.
Sorry Mabs... but I love Edward. He's so tres tres sexy.
Text to Robbie.
Robbie I'm pregnant. Help me. I'm scared. :( How do I tell Dave? What if he's mad? Help me. Gee x
I gave Dave death glares. 'You told Robbie I was pregnant!' The Hornmeister laughed.
'That's the Biscuit's favourite... As well as I love Edward, he's so tres tres sexy.'
How dare Dave tell Robbie that I'm pregnant? Robbie will freak.
10:26 am
Giving Dave ye ole' cold shoulder.
Robbie text back. Georgia! o.O Please say you're joking! Robbie
I burst out laughing like a loon.
Maybe Robbie's reaction was a little amusing.
'See. Kittykat finds the Biscuit's joke entertaining.'
1 minute later
Bugger... Robbie's ringing me.
'Hello.' Laughing like a loon.
'Georgia!' Oops. He sounds like he's having a nervy b.
'I'msorry. Davestolemyphoneandsentthete xt. I'mnotreallypreggers.'
Robbie was silent. 'Robbie. I'm not preggers. Dave was just being a fule.'
'Do me a favour, Gee? Throw something at him. Preferably something heavy, like a toaster.'
I laughed. 'A toaster?'
'Anything to dent that ego.' Robbie laughed.
10:34 am
Robbie finally hung up.
Time for today's activity, which is pottery.
11:02 am
Our pottery teachers tres tres marvy.
Her names is Charlotte. She's vair gut with the pottery.
Ooo... And she's wearing a vair gorgey floral dress.
Call-me-Lottie showed the Hornmeister and I how to spin a pot.
The wheel thingy moves vair fast. It's uber coolio.
'How about you two try now?'
1 minute later
Spinning pottery isn't as easy as it seems.
The Hornmeister's first attempt flew off the wheel.
It smashed through a window.
Charlotte told Davey not to worry about the window.
20 minutes later
Laughing like a loon. Dave's first pot is a crumpled mess.
Mine isn't much better though.
'Kittykat's laughing at the Biscuit's clay child.'
He's such a drama queen. 'Really Hornmeister, a clay child?'
'Yes. The Biscuit shall name her Emily.'
Hmmm. Emily the Clay Child.
1 minute later
Watching the Biscuit scratch the name 'Emily' onto the side of his first pot.
Charlotte had left us to instruct a second couple.
'Emily's sibling will look more like Kittykat and less like the Biscuit.'
'Dave. You realise Emily's a pot?' The Hornmeister wouldn't listen.
11:41 am
The Hornmeister has just placed two clay handprints on my nunga-nungas.
I raised my eyebrows. The Hornmeister laughed.
'Couldn't resist mon Kittykat.' He winked at moi.
'Grow up, David.' A expression of mock hurt crossed Dave's face.
I laughed. 'The Biscuit is deeply hurt by Kittykat's cruel comment.'
2 minutes later
Snogging the Biscuit. Number 5.
12:23 pm
Emily the Clay Child has been joined by several other pots (or siblings).
The Hornmeister obviously thought hard about their names.
We have: Emily, Jimmy, Anne, Tom, Mable, Daisy, Joe and Peter.
Daisy obvious takes after me, because the Hornmeister has fashioned her a vair huge conk.
'Kittykat isn't amused Hornmeister.'
1 minute later
Giving Dave the ole' cold shoulder...
... until he removes Daisy's conk.
1 minute later
The Hornmeister seems to be ignoring me.
He's making facial features for his clay children.
12:45 pm
Pottery class end with placing our pots in the kiln.
'Is Kittykat giving the Biscuit ye ole' cold shoulder?'
I didn't reply... But you loons knew that.
Walking back to the cabin, the Biscuit held my hand.
He won't let go.
1 minute later
Ooo. Text from Mabs.
Ed said tell the Hornmeister that he doesn't swing that way... And Gee, if the text was from you, then tough you're not having my Eddie. Love Mabs ;)
The Hornmeister's reading the text over my shoulder.
Dave laughed like a loon on loon tablets.
5 minute later
Cooking lunch with the Hornmeister.
The Hornmeister wrapped his arms around my waist.
'Would a quick snog make Kittykat talk to the Biscuit?'
I raised my eyebrows. 'Dave. I'm not a common tart.'
Dave smiled. 'Arr... but Kittykat can't resist the Biscuit.'
1 minute later
Snogging Dave. Number 6.
Why does The Hornmeister have to be so irresistible?
A.N. Hey. I know I've been really bad and not updated in ages. I've had a lot going on and every time I sat down to write I got distracted with my other stories. I am having severe writers block with this, but I have an idea how to solve that. This chapters a bit of a filler, but I hope you all enjoy it. The reviews really help and make me feel guilty for not writing, so keep them up. I've also been sucked back into reading FanFic, so you can blame Harry Potter and the Marauders for holding my attention. Thanks for your patients with me. Love RoxannetheLaugh...