The silence was deafening. Bruce walked pass Robin as if he wasn't there. Robin just stood still as he did; then continued what he was doing. It was like that for four days.

Then Bruce left on a "mission". He didn't have to go, but he did. Robin went back and forth between his homes, but at the manor he felt guilty every time he saw Alfred, and at the mountain he just felt lonely. This lasted for almost a week.

When Bruce returned, they didn't speak right away, but eventually they faded back into their normal talk and activities. They pushed the problem away and acted like it wasn't there. That lasted for two and a half months.

On the outside, the scars healed and so did Robin. He smiled, laughed, and acted normal. On the inside though, the scars didn't heal, and neither did he. He was broken, confused, and hurt. He lied in bed awake for hours, lost in his own mind. Why didn't he talk to me? Why did he yell? Does he not forgive me?

The healing that was thought to have had happened fell to pieces again when they fought again. His past mistakes were dug up and thrown in his face. He fought back in the beginning, but soon he just fell to silence, taking each verbal beating with a nod, though not believing what was said. The fights lasted a week before they relapsed into the silence again. The silence last for two weeks.

Once again, the problems were pushed down, not dealt with.

When they spoke again, the problems were not brought up. They simply pretended it never happened. On the outside they were okay. On the inside they were breaking.

Eventually, the problems rose again. Robin pushed them down and acted like they weren't there. He hid them behind a broken smile and happy façade during the day. But at night, the thoughts, the guilt, the feelings, all came back.

You are worthless. You'll never make it. What kind of person are you? You are weak. This is a sign of weakness. You can't. You never will… It's all my fault…I'm sorry…

For some time, pushing the problems down worked, but then something would trigger them, and then the arguments came. Only this time, Robin didn't fight back at all, and started to believe the thoughts.

You can't. You won't. You never will. You are a failure. Worthless. Quitter. Weak.

Soon the self-doubt came, doubling the already there insecurities. He would hesitate when making decisions. He wouldn't talk much. He tugged on his clothes. He'd fidget when people looked at him. His grades slipped. He was less composed. He tended to snap at others more quickly (although he would immediately apologize). He twitched more. He slept less. He became subtly clingy to others, and a deep fear of being alone developed.

The changes didn't go unnoticed. The team tried to help, but he'd brush them off. I'm okay. He'd confide in Wally sometimes, but he would never tell the whole story. Everyone doubted the smile, but after awhile they believed the "fine".

He appreciated the help they offered, but it wasn't the help he wanted. He wanted his help. He wanted Bruce to come up to him, wrap him in his arms, tell him he was forgiven, and tell him everything would be okay. He wanted to talk and cry, and be held tightly and not be judged for it.

Why can't he do that? It's not that hard! Am I not forgiven? Does he hate me? Why won't he help me?

He attempted to do nothing but prove Bruce wrong. Say I can't and I will. Push me and I'll push you. That didn't last long, so he switched tactics and tried to be perfect. But even then, something was found wrong.

Robin got tired of trying. He spent more time at the mountain, and rarely willingly came back to the manor. He normally came back for Alfred. Alfred would offer a soft smile, and an "Everything will work out. You'll see Master Richard." Robin pretended to trust the older man's judgment.

He would lie in bed, and try to sleep the world away. That seemed to be the only escape. In his dreams, what he wished happened.

Bruce stood shocked. His protégé…his son. The pale, almost not there, white scars flashed in his mind. How long had this been happening? Why hadn't he seen the signs? He rapped on the door. "Richard?" He opened the door. Dick sat on the edge of his bed, looking to the floor. He was ashamed.

Bruce walked up to him and sat on the bed. "Why?"

"I…got scared. I didn't know what to do."

"You could have come to me."

Dick looked up at him in shock. Bruce's heart broke. His son didn't believe that he could come to him.

"I'm…sorry…" came the little whimper.

His strong arms enveloped the child. "It's okay." He held the body close, and felt the tremors. Broken sobs came from the boy, but he didn't say anything, just held him as he cried.

When Richard calmed down, he pushed the boy back gently, still keeping a grip on his shoulders. "Look at me." Teary blue eyes slowly looked up. "I'm here for you. We will get through this. I'll be there every step of the way, and you will heal and you will get better. I will help you." He wiped away stray tears with this thumb. "You will be okay, okay?" Dick gave a small nod. "Good." He pulled the boy in for another tight hug, soothingly running his hands through the raven-colored hair.

"You don't have to be afraid."


This story/drabble is highly personal. It resembles the relationship I have with my dad. We fight, he ignores me for a time, and then when we speak again, the issues are never dealt with. It's a tiring process.

I'm not trying to complain. He is a great father…but when it comes to giving the emotional support I want and need, he's not there. The mistakes I made are buried, but never fully, because they are always brought back up.

Whenever I better myself in one way, he finds another thing wrong. I never feel good enough for him…

Simply to say, it hurts.

"I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?"

Also, I have to put Edges on temporary hiatus. We're getting ready to move, and I'm dealing with personal issues. Please be patient with me :)