AN – Hi! It's been quite a long time since I've shown my face on fanfiction with a story of my own, but I decided to write this after reading some similar stories. Some of them were cute, but none of them felt right to me. Obviously, my version of "right" is different than everyone else's, so you may love a different version and hate mine, but I wanted to try to write this overdone cliché myself.
This chapter is introductory and ended up being pretty long by my standards, so I'm not sure if further chapters will be this long. Also, its 3rd person omniscient right now, but I'm not sure if it will continue that way.
It's pretty much all happy mushy stuff until the end, where the plot actually begins. Next chapter will start the real story. This is just cutesy stuff.
Enjoy!
The Jacksons had been having a wonderful night. It was a chilly November evening, and even though it was only the sixth day of the month, there had been an unexpected temperature decrease in New York this year, which meant one thing: snow!
Just as one should expect from any seven year old, Percy Jackson loved the snow. Sure it was cold, sure it stuck to his clothing and chilled him to his very core, and sure it made his cheeks red and his fingers numb, but none of that mattered. Honestly, who could resist the tempting offer of a well-fought snowball fight in Central Park? Of course, Mrs. Jackson-Blofis was more than a little wary about being out in this weather—it was snowing rather hard for the better part of the day—but she couldn't say no to the pleading eyes of her son when he asked her to play with him in the blizzard of white flakes.
"Please, Mommy? It'll be a date, just me and you!" He had said with a big, innocent smile on his face. And—just as he had hoped—she had fallen for his adorable seven year old charm. She could already imagine him as a heart-breaker one day . . .
Paul, her husband and Percy's step father, had been on a business trip to the delightfully warm state of Florida for what he considered to be an "important teachers convention" that he simply had to attend, which meant that Sally had to endure Percy's snowy-assaults alone. Not that she minded, but she off-handedly wondered if somehow Paul had planned this. She wouldn't put it passed her husband, for he often enjoyed using his man-to-man talks with Percy against her. Like last time for instance . . . it had taken her forever to convince Percy that he absolutely had no use for a razor, since he had nothing to shave. He just pouted and said that Paul said that men shave, and therefore he should too. He was distraught about his "unmanliness" for a week after that incident, and Sally—on more than one occasion— caught Percy glaring at Paul's shaving cream when he thought no one was looking.
Needless to say, Sally usually monitored Paul and Percy's man-to-man conversations after that.
By eight o'clock, it was beginning to get much too cold for Sally's fingers to tolerate handling another snowball. She walked over to her baby boy—ahem, little boy, as Percy hated being called a baby, much to Sally's dismay—and took his mitten-covered left hand in her own.
"Mommy, are we leaving now?" Percy asked with a slight frown. His green eyes were as big as saucers, and Sally couldn't help but think about how he was going to use them against her as often as possible as soon as he learned of the power they held over her.
She nodded, tightening her brown scarf around her icy neck. "It's getting late, Percy. I think the snow storm is starting to get worse. We need to get home before it gets really messy out here. Plus, you look absolutely freezing, silly!" She said with a chuckle.
Percy looked at the snow with a confused expression as they walked. Freezing? Was he freezing? Then, as if he had only just realized this now, he made a face, scrunching his features up with distaste. "I think you're right, Mommy," he said, wiggling his fingers under his mittens, as if to test how numb they were. "I forgot about being cold until you said so, but now . . ." he stopped mid-thought, but shivered to get his point across.
Sally tugged on his blue hat, making sure that the fabric covered his exposed—and very red—ears. "Don't worry, we'll take a cab back home, and then we can have hot chocolate and blue cookies, okay?" He looked up at her face with a big smile, and she immediately mirrored it. He instantly started tugging on her hand more, trying to speed up their pace. After all, blue cookies were waiting for him at home, and that was the ultimate incentive to hustle his butt out of the cold and into the warmth of a cab.
"Percy," Sally laughed. "Not so fast! You have a lot more energy than Mommy does, my silly little boy." She smiled as she tried to keep up with the enthusiastic child next to her (well, technically he was several steps ahead of her, but her longer strides helped her catch up in the end).
"So . . ." Sally said, trying to continue with their small talk. She didn't want Percy to lose interest in their conversation. Because, really, she could clearly see the squirrel sitting about fifteen feet away, and she did not need her son to start terrorizing the woodland creatures. His ADHD got the better of him like that sometimes. "Do you know what you are going to ask Santa for this year? Christmas is next month and you haven't even started making a list!"
Percy smiled at the thought of Christmas morning in his little apartment, showing off the lovely gap in his teeth where his recently lost tooth had once resided, but then he suddenly frowned. His face showed worry, and he voiced his fear. "Mommy, what if Santa doesn't bring me presents this year? I haven't been a very 'well behaved' boy. Miss Tishy told me that last week when I accidentally ran with scissors . . . again. But it was an accident, honest!"
Fear lit up behind his eyes as he stared into his mother's face. She squeezed his hand as they walked, and then said, "Of course Santa will bring you gifts. He knows how hard you try to be extra well behaved, and I know for a fact that he won't forget to get you something nice this year." She smiled.
"Promise?"
"I promise. But now you need to make a list, otherwise Santa won't know what to get you! He'll be forced to bring you a whole bunch a Barbie dolls."
Percy gasped, as if the mere idea of unwrapping a Barbie on Christmas morning was painful. "NO! No, I don't want any Barbies! Got that, Santa?" He panicked and spat out the word "Barbies" like it was acid on his tongue. If he found a doll under the wrapping paper . . . he would never be able to live it down.
Mrs. Jackson-Blofis laughed at her son's sudden outburst. "Okay, okay. No Barbies. I'll make sure Santa keeps them far away from our Christmas tree, alright?"
Percy's face immediately relaxed, as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders. No Barbies. His mom promised.
He began rattling off things that he wanted, suddenly very afraid that if he didn't make a list, he would be threatened with something even more heinous. "I want a sword, and a shield, and . . . and a flame thrower!" He smiled to himself, feeling very proud of making such a wise Christmas list. Flame throwers, after all, could be very useful to seven year olds.
"Definitely not, honey," Sally said with a smirk. "Our apartment doesn't allow weaponry." He tried to protest, but she held up her hand with a knowing smile, "And that includes flame throwers."
"Okay, fine. I'm willing to forget about that, but only if I can get a military tank," he bargained.
"A toy tank, yes. A real tank . . . well, I don't really think it would fit in our apartment, and the city of New York probably wouldn't appreciate a tank parked out on the street." She smiled when his eye brows scrunched together, as if he was trying to figure out a way to solve the military tank problem. Finally, he sighed and gave up. She patted his shoulder reassuringly, and said with a chuckle, "Maybe we'll try making your list again tomorrow."
They fell into a comfortable silence, having almost made it to a place suitable for hailing a cab at night. They had come upon the outer edge of the park when Percy suddenly stopped walking. His eyes widened, and he began running slightly to the right. "Mommy, follow me!"
She started chasing after him, fearing what could've caught his attention. She prayed that it wouldn't be another dog. The last time that had happened, she had ended up dealing with the less-than-polite dog owner. Sally had apologized profusely to the stuck up woman, but the lady wasn't thrilled about Percy getting her dog all riled up. It ended up being a headache for everyone.
Percy ran until he reached a park bench that was slowly piling up with snow. There was a little girl there, and he looked at her pale face and her dark blue lips. He touched his hand to her face, cupping her cheek. It was like touching a block of ice.
Sally ran up behind her son, saying "Percy, what are—", but she stopped when she saw the scene in front of her.
"Mom, she's freezing."
The little girl's appearance was rather startling. She had very pretty grey eyes and what appeared to be golden curls, but the bitter temperatures she was suffering through had made her look deathly ill. She was very pale from the cold, looking almost ghostly white except for the dark rings under her eyes. Her dark blue lips contrasted so greatly against her current complexion that she looked like the bodies that got pulled out of the water in Titanic. She was shivering and her teeth chattered constantly, but she did not talk to the strangers in front of her. Her eyes were glazed over, almost as if she wasn't seeing them at all.
Percy noticed her clothing, which consisted of nothing more than a pair of denim jeans, a tee shirt, a hoodie, and her sneakers, all of which were completely soaked through from the snow that had accumulated. She had a small backpack next to her, but if she had anything warm to put on inside of it, he could assume that she would've already thought to put it on.
He immediately took off his cobalt blue winter coat, knowing that she needed the warmth more than he did. "Take this," he said, extending the hand that held his thick jacket. The bitter wind hit him almost instantaneously, but he knew that he would be okay as long as he wasn't without a coat for too long.
She looked into his eyes, as if she had finally broken out of her trance. With fear in her eyes, she looked at the coat, almost as if she thought it would bite her if she dared touch it.
"Go ahead, take it. You're freezing," Percy said encouragingly. She gave it one last wary glance before her lack of body heat finally made her give in. She slid the sleeves over her frozen arms and felt a slight relief run through her body. Her clothing was still damp, and she was still sitting on a bench in a snow storm, but at least now she had something.
And that was a heck of a lot more than she usually got.
Percy smiled at her, and then turned to his mother, who had watched the entire scene in front of her. "Mommy, we need to bring her home with us. She feels frozen solid. The snow is getting worse; we can't leave her here."
Sally looked at the little girl, and she crouched down in front of her to look her in the eyes. "Hello, sweetie. My name is Sally Blofis. Are you lost? Do you know where your family is?"
The little girl nodded, as if it was some kind of humorless inside joke that she only shared with herself. "Yes, Mrs. Blofis," she said, though her voice was hoarse and strained. "They are at home. I ran away. Please don't make me go back, I would . . ." She stopped, but then continued in a hushed voice. "I would rather you leave me here to freeze to death than go back there."
She was so frail and exhausted looking. Sally noticed how much pain she had in her eyes when she said that. Dried blood could be seen along her hairline, as if she had hastily tried to wipe it away when it was fresh but hadn't gotten all of it off. She had a bruise on her neck, which just peaked out from under Percy's coat. It looked relatively new.
"Mom, we have to take her home with us. She doesn't have anywhere to go."
Sally looked at Percy, and—in a split second decision—decided that he was right. "Honey, would you like to come home with us?" She asked the blonde in front of her. "We have an apartment not far from here. You could warm yourself up and eat a nice meal. How does that sound?"
The little girl looked back and forth between the two strangers. Even at her tender age of six, she was cautious in dangerous situations. She learned that lesson the hard way a long time ago. She didn't trust people as far as she could throw them, and she had yet to find a single person that her young arms could even lift. But this woman and her son seemed so genuine. He was her age. He gave her his jacket and was now suffering through the brutal wind for her. His mother offered her a place to warm up and a meal to curb her appetite. Everything seemed perfect.
She didn't want to sit here all night while her body began to slowly shut down permanently, so she nodded to the woman and attempted to stand up. She was weak though, which made walking a challenge. She tried not to get frustrated at how useless her body was acting, but Percy stuck his hand out, offering to help her walk. She took it gratefully, and the three of them began their walk to a cab that was nearby. They all got in, thankful that the cab was toasty inside, and Sally gave the driver her building's address.
Percy turned to the girl and introduced himself, which he had forgotten to do earlier. "Hi, my name is Percy Jackson and I'm seven. Who are you?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.
She looked into his eyes and winced. She wanted to avoid the question, but she knew that these people were helping her, and she didn't want to upset them. Her father had always been upset with her, and she didn't want that happening here. "My name is Annabeth."
AN – How was it? Should I continue or abandon ship now? Since this is the first chapter, I would love to get some feedback about what you as readers would like to see in this story. Reviews are welcome. Constructive criticism is appreciated, as long as it is truly constructive!
If you enjoyed this story, would you mind answering some questions for me? That way I can make sure I'm writing what you as readers would like to see.
Would you like the story to remain in 3rd person omniscient (where its not talking from one person's specific mind, but it can kind of explain what everyone is thinking), or would you prefer it to be in someone's point of view? The thing about POV is that I would probably have to make it switch between Percy and Annabeth if I did that (although I feel like it'll be mainly Annabeth). Sometimes I like when stories do that, so you see what both characters are thinking, but sometimes I think the switching can become confusing. So it's up to you.
Is there anything about my writing that you saw as a specific problem or flaw? Did I have typos? Were the characters terribly OOC (while this is an AU, I do honestly hope to keep their main personalities somewhat intact)? Did I confuse you with the way I write? Anything at all.
Do you have any ideas for where this could go (I obviously have my own little plan worked out, but I'm one of those terribly unorganized writers who only comes up with the basic plot and then wing it from there.) If anyone has an idea, it'll be greatly appreciated, and I'll credit you if I use it. After all, I'm writing this story for all of you, so it helps to know what you want to see!
Do you think I need a beta? Do any of you beta read? (I've never had one, so if I were to get one, they would have to teach me the ropes!)
Anyways, thank you in advance for anyone who reads this, and a special thank you to anyone who reviews to tell me how I did! Please be honest and let me know how you feel about it. I tried my hardest, so I hope it will please you, but if not, feel free to let me know!