Title: Never settle for the impossible (Part 1/?)
Author: Donna DeKaren
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Relationship status: First time
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Rating: NC-17 eventually but for this part PG13
Warning: Swearing.
Genre: Drama
Trope: Infidelity Words: 2,480 Status: WIP, unbeta'd
Summary:Things are not always as they seem but for Kirk, convincing Spock of this seems impossible. Relationship in shambles and his friends turned against him, how is he going to get out of this? Good thing Jim Kirk doesn't believe in no-win scenarios.
Author's Notes: This was written in response to vickyblueeyez's challenge:
Make this have a happy ending
Summary:
Challenge: Make this sad prompt have a happy ending. (not my prompt, belongs to anon at the kink meme)
Difficulty: Very
Prompt: Kirk/character of anon's choice are in a relationship the whole crew knows about and accepts. Then, Kirk gets top!secret-super!classified orders from stafleet basically forcing him to seduce a traitor/spy to get information for starfleet. [OR Kirk's orders force him to gain trust from the traitor/spy, so Kirk is all friendly and the traitor/spy takes advantage of Kirk.] Kirk follows orders/is forced but he's horrified, disgusted, and seriously messed up mentally by the encounter. Instead of comforting him or trying to understand Kirk's side, his significant other dumps him for cheating and the crew blames/is nasty to Kirk, since they aren't privy to starfleet's orders. Much angst ensues!
Keyword: Redemption
I've seen many takes on this prompt, all seeming to end sad which is why I haven't read them. Sad as in a broken Kirk, a broken relationship and K/S not getting back together. Mostly because Spock never found out...or he did but it was too late (Kirk ended up with Bones). I find it interesting that so many think a happy ending cannot be done. Kirk didn't believe in no-win scenarios and he didn't settle for the impossible. Instead of thinking in the box, he not only thought outside of the box but reshaped it. Saying something couldn't be done made him want to do whatever it was, even more. Yet, many feel that this prompt can only end in one way, heartbreak and it can only be written if the characters were extremely ooc. I think that is BS. A good author can make one believe in anything. They can take something old, already done and reshape it. The challenge here is to reshape this prompt and for that, you have to have the Kirk mentality and be as equally stubborn.
Stuff I would like to see but not required:
-A groveling and tortured Spock. Tortured as in self loathing. Kirk being all "fuck u, you didn't trust me, abandoned me, don't talk to me" and Spock maybe falling to his knees crying? "I have wronged you thyla in ways you/I cannot imagine. I'm so sorry."
-Super awesome dramatic make up sex somewhere down the line is mandatory. Pretty please?
-Spock has to find out somehow. Kirk left and Spock is clearing the Captain's computer maybe? Kirk thinking his hacker skills is all that leaves the file there thinking it won't be found? Maybe Spock overhears a secret conversation from Starfleet officials? Maybe Spock and crew are on an away mission some angry person is all "I'll never forgive him for using me for information! I thought he loved me but he was only pretending to follow orders!" Spock, "What orders?" Angry person, "Oh you didn't know?"
-Big time angst. Things like K/S seeing each other from across the room. Accidental touching. Something with big time tension.
All is forgiven and it ends HAPPILY aka with Kirk/Spock together.
How to make it happy: To me, there are many steps for this to end happily. It has to start with the assignment and the misunderstanding. XI Kirk has a past seemingly of not being able to settle. This could be used. I prefer him not to cheat but get caught in an compromising position that looks like it. A break up happens and Spock shuts down. After all he's been through, why not shut down? Glares, gossip, avoidance and no one to believe. Fed up, Kirk leaves. He's bitter, depressed, still in love and lonely. Highly resentful towards Starfleet. Spock, Uhura, McCoy or someone finds out about assignment and is plagued with guilt. Finds Kirk yet Kirk has built walls. He doesn't want to listen or even be bothered. That's where everything slows down. Maybe he comes back to the ship. The crew is sorry but they have lost Kirk's trust. He is detached and doesn't get close to him. After all, how could his friends think he's still a 'man whore' or whatever. A slow building of trust, forgiveness and ultimately, a rekindling of a relationship.
After the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of his mother, Spock grew distant and withdrawn. He didn't want to feel the pain of losing someone close to him ever again. This is why he terminated his relationship with Nyota Uhura. He did his job day in and day out, only talking to others about work related things when he had to. He never got personal with anyone and he didn't feel the need to. If the interaction wasn't related to his work, he didn't stick around.
Many of the crew recognized his withdrawn state and were worried. Although their relationship was terminated, Nyota was still a friend and she was concerned. She voiced her concerns to Dr. McCoy who then in turn told the Captain about what he heard. As a result, the Captain tried to reach out to Spock. He would frequently invite him to lunch, invite to share dinner, spar in the rec room, and play chess in his quarters. All of which was politely declined. Spock dined alone and only spoke when he was spoken to.
Over time the Captain had whittled away at Spock's walls. Even though he knew he would decline, Jim still extended his invitations. Spock found himself accepting just so that the Captain would stop. He didn't expect to enjoy Jim's company at all. But as it turned out, Jim was an insightful and impressive young man. He enthusiastically asked questions on Spock's work and seemed genuinely interested in what Spock had to say. Spock enjoyed this and later found himself looking forward to the long conversations he would have with his Captain over chess or a meal. Many of the crew saw the change in Spock, and for that, they were grateful towards Jim. So it was no surprise when they became a couple. They always did everything together, so to everyone, it was only a matter of time.
Jim ran his fingers through his blonde hair and sighed as he looked at the vid screen monitor.
" But you know I'm in a relationship with Spock. Can't you get somebody else to do this?" Jim said to the figure on the screen. Admiral Pike leaned forward in his desk and towards the screen.
" Yeah we could. But let's face it. Not all Captains have your good looks." Pike said with a hint of sarcasm. Jim groaned, hating that he was also known as the "pretty boy of Starfleet".
" But still, I don't want to put Spock in the position where he thinks I am being unfaithful to him." Jim replied.
" No one said you had to sleep with the guy. We just want you to get information. Flirt with him a little, tease him, use your boyish good looks and that Kirk charm you use on the ladies. Just make him think that you want to sleep with him or that he's going get lucky with you. It'll be enough of a diversion to get the information you need. All we need is the data card that he carries. It'll be enough to bring him and their whole illegal trafficking operation down. This is classified and you can't tell anyone, not even Spock. Otherwise it'll give it away. Can you do it?" Pike said nonchalantly as if he were asking Jim something simple like go to the store for milk.
" As if I have a choice in the matter." Kirk said with another sigh and sunk into his chair. Pike nodded and turned off the connection. The screen went black. Jim rubbed his hands on his face and frustration. He didn't notice Spock enter their quarters and jumped when he spoke.
" Jim, is there something wrong?" Spock asked with worry in his voice that only those close to him could detect. Jim lowered his hands from his face and looked at Spock.
" No, no, nothing's wrong. I'm just not looking forward to another diplomatic banquet. You know how stuffy those things get." Jim replied with a nervous grin.
Something always seemed to go wrong at diplomatic dinners when Jim Kirk was involved. He was the savior of Earth, a celebrity in the eyes of many. This lead to many propositions, some by high officials who you're trying to sign treaties with. Now that he was with Spock, saying he was taken solved that issue. Not that there weren't other issues. There was also the issue of Spock looking so damned hot at these ceremonies. The dinners offered ample time to take care of some "business."
Spock walked over and sat on their shared bed. " I am aware. Perhaps we can excuse ourselves early?"
Jim turned in his chair behind his desk to face Spock. A mischievous smile graced his features. " And why would we do that?" He said as he got up and walked towards the bed.
" To tend to ship matters, of course." Spock said as he placed his hands upon Jim's hips when he was within reach. Jim straddled Spock's thighs and with a smile, lifted up Spock's chin.
" Of course." He said in a whisper against Spock's lips before he kissed him.
Music could be heard throughout the ballroom floor where the banquet was taking place. It was grand and lavish with its chandeliers made from a sparkling mineral native to the planet, floor to ceiling windows which gave view to the planets two moons, and reflective floors. Many of the guests mingled in pairs while others danced. Jim, Spock and McCoy, watched the proceedings from the wall they were standing against a wall. Jim looked pleased, with drink in hand, scanning the crowd. Spock looked as bored as Vulcanly possible, also known as his normal outward appearance and McCoy just looked grumpy. Jim tapped Spock's arm to get his attention.
"Hey Spock? There's someone I gotta go talk to. I'll be right back. Don't have too much fun while I'm gone." Jim said with a grin. Spock replied with a raised eyebrow and watched Jim head to the bar.
Jim took a deep breath as he made his way over. He just wanted to get this over and done with and pray Spock wasn't watching. Jim eyed the man that matched Pike's description. There was intelligence that the man was smuggling illegal weapons and selling them to the highest bidder, yet Starfleet had no solid proof. As a result, they could not make an arrest, which is where Jim came in. Intelligence also learned that this particular individual always carried a data card which listed his clientele along with their purchases.
"All I have to do is pretend that I am into him, make him think that I want to fuck him, go somewhere private, stun him, and get the card. Easy. I'll be in and out in no time." Jim thought to himself. Charming the guy was easy and finding a private room was just as such. Jim lead him by the hand, talking about all the dirty filthy things he wanted to do to the man. Once they were behind closed doors, they started to kiss. The man was all grabby, touching Jim anywhere he could reach. Jim had to keep the sickening feeling away, otherwise, he'd lose his composure.
Jim straddled the man's thighs and peppered kisses along his jaw when they reached a couch. The man moaned in appreciation as he held onto Jim's hips. Jim caressed the man's body all while discreetly looking for some kind of wallet were the data card is most likely held. Determining that it was nowhere in his coat or shirt pocket, he decided to search his pants. Jim took the man's hand into his own and climbed off him, beckoning him to come with him. He stood and kissed Jim, groping him everywhere and grinding his erection against Jim's thigh. Jim broke the kiss and descended to his knees, caressing the man's body as he went. Jim gave the man's backside a squeeze and felt something rectangular in his back pocket.
" Fuck, you are so hot." Jim whispered with swollen lips as he unfastened the man's pants. He didn't want to blow him. Hell, he didn't want to be in this situation at all. Yet the only way he could get the card out of the back pocket was by getting his pants to the floor.
"You're almost there Jimmy boy. Stroke his dick, get the card, and stun him." Jim told himself as he palmed the man's cock through his underwear. Jim reached down and fumbled until he got the card and slipped it into his pocket. He made sure his head was blocking the view of the man's feet by having it close to his erection.
" You make me so fucking hard." Jim said as he shifted on his knees to reach into his pocket. That's where the small phaser set to stun was hidden. What happened next happened so fast that it almost seemed unreal. That is also, according to him, when his life ended.
The door to the room burst open and Jim froze in place. The man's hands was and Jim's hair, Jim's face was pressed against the bulge of the man's crotch, with what looked like Jim fondling himself with his lowered hand.
" Can't you see we are busy?" Jim said annoyed, blowing hot breath against the man's erection. "Get a room of your own."
" I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt. My apologies. I thought this room was vacant." The voice with no tone or inflection said before the door was slammed shut. Before Jim had the time to groan and figure out how the hell he was going to explain this mess, the door burst open again.
" What the hell?" McCoy said as he looked at Jim still in the compromising position. "Spock looked pissed. He actually looked pissed so I knew something was up. I didn't expect this but maybe I should have? Old habits die hard as they say." McCoy said, giving Jim a look of disgust before he left, leaving the door wide open.
A crowd had gathered to see what the commotion was all about. Amongst the faces in the crowd were Scotty, Sulu, Chekov, and Uhura. All of who, no doubt, not only heard McCoy, but saw Jim in the same compromising position as Spock. The man Jim was with had already grown soft and was putting his clothes back on. Jim got what he wanted so there was no reason to stick around. He left the room with all eyes, more like glares, upon him and returned to the ship.
In Jim's mind, it couldn't get any worse. That was until he saw Spock packing up all his belongings in their shared quarters. Jim stood in the doorway petrified, feeling as if his heart had dropped to the floor. Spock was clinical in his movements, not sparing Jim a single glance. He wanted to say something, anything but his mouth suddenly felt dry. What was he supposed to say anyway? Saying "It wasn't what it looked like" wouldn't fly, especially considering it DID look like what it looked like.
"Look Spock...I " Jim said, slowing walking towards him. Spock tensed and stood rim-rod straight. When he turned to face Jim, it was as if he were looking through him rather than at him.
"If you do not require my assistance, I would like to be dismissed, Captain." Spock said stressing the last word.
"So it's gone back to that?" Jim thought. "You are dismissed, Commander." Jim said in his professional Captain's voice.
Holding his things, Spock walked pass Jim and out of their shared quarters. When the door whooshed shut, Jim winced. That sound meant the end, the finality of it all, the end of him and Spock. Jim walked over to the bed and collapsed upon it. The whole situation was exhausting and all he wanted to do was sleep. He really hoped that everything would be sorted out in the morning, though he knew damn well that it wasn't going to happen.
The next day, Jim woke up with a groan at the sound of his alarm clock. He stared at the ceiling in contemplation before rolling over and turning it off. He was going to fix this, he could fix this, but it would just have to wait until after he had his breakfast. After showering and putting on his uniform, he left his quarters to head down to the mess deck. He greeted various members of the crew as he passed them by. They smiled and greeted their Captain in reply, giving no indication that they knew of the events that took place the previous night. "As if they would say anything," Jim thought to himself, only increasing his paranoia and discomfort.
After getting his coffee and his replicated meal which consisted of eggs, bacon, and hash browns, he joined his friend Bones at the table. Usually Bones would have some witty greeting like, "Good morning Princess," but this morning, he didn't look up or say a word when Jim sat down.
" So you're not talking to me this morning?" Jim questioned after he took his first sip of coffee.
" What do you want me to say? You already know you're Goddam idiot." Bones replied. There was a long moment of silence before Jim spoke.
" So have you seen Spock?" He asked.
"It would probably be best if you left him alone for a while." Bones said.
"But he's my First Officer."
"Yeah, the same First Officer who opened up to you, trusted you, and you gone off and pulled some stupid bullshit. As your CMO, I'm telling you to stay away from him because I don't want to pick up your dead body from the floor. I know commitment is not your thing but you could have at least had a fling with someone else." Bones shook his head and stood up. "Look, I have to go."
"Yeah." Jim said and nodded. He sat at the empty table as thoughts raced through his head. The only reason why commitment never worked was because he had never found the right person. That's what he thought at least. But with Spock, things were different, he was different and in love. It took so long and he worked so hard to get Spock to open up, trust him and even talk to him. All of that progress potentially reversed all because of some stupid orders to acquire a damned data card. Jim cursed under his breath and stood up. This drama would have to be sorted out later because right now, he had work to do and that was to be the Captain of the USS Enterprise.
To be continued...
AN: This had been sitting on my hard drive since 4/2/2011. I decided to post what I had. Currently, writers block has set in. I plan on having Spock find out...maybe after Kirk leaves the Enterprise, Spock will scan something and find the conference, paper work, whatever of the mission. Then he'll find Kirk, try to apologize, Kirk is bitter, lots of groveling from Spock and the crew, eventual forgiveness and most importantly...MAKE UP SEX. Maybe I'll submit this fic to the LJ and Dreamwidth comm finish-my-fic. I don't know but didn't want to leave anyone hanging, hence the explanation.