This story was written because I always wanted to know what Edward was thinking during the honeymoon scene of Breaking Dawn. I love Edward and I really think he was just as nervous as Bella was. Maybe even more so! Everyone has self doubt and Edward is no different. His ability to keep from killing her as they made love was I am sure foremost in his mind.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own the characters or make any money off of my stories. All dialogue between Edward and Bella in this fanfiction is the soul creation of Stephanie Myer. I only changed the point of view of this scene taken from the book. I hope you enjoy it. :D Thanks for reading and please read and REVIEW. This story is complete. Just a little one shot. ;)
I could hear her heartbeat over the ocean waves and I grew anxious with every little gasp she made. Perhaps she was changing her mind this very moment. I almost prayed for it. I could imagine her sitting in the bathroom debating about what to do. God help me, a part of me relished the thought of seeing her come out to meet me as my blushing bride. My muscles grew taut with the image of her soft brown hair blowing in the wind and being able to touch her the way I had wanted to for far too long.
I stopped breathing as I heard her leave the house and I smiled when I heard her fast and ragged breathing. She was so unbelievably fragile. A wave of tenderness swept through me so intense I wanted to run back and gather her up into my arms, but I must be patient. I could not lose control of the situation. She must be so nervous.
The water crashed against me without mercy and once again I yearned to be human. Her footsteps paused and I could almost taste her as she drew nearer. Her glorious scent drifted on the wind to fill me up inside with need and hunger. I had made a glutton of myself hunting the night before to prepare myself for this night, but fear began to filter through my mind. So many things could go wrong with only a moments notice to hold back. I inhaled deeply and savored the exquisite aroma of her. My throat was scorching with blistering pain and I stood rooted to the spot until it simmered into the burning ache I had grown accustomed to when I was close to Bella.
I must keep control.
Her throbbing heart was lusciously moist and warm and as I listened to her sweet blood pumping musically through her body my venom surged generously and I swallowed the bitterness. It reminded me how much was at risk. She would never understand how precious her every heart beat was to me. I knew I would not hurt her intentionally, but that did not mean there was no danger. I knew that passion could overtake me quite easily if I allowed it.
My greatest fear was that I would have her blood cooling through my own lifeless body before the night was through. I would not permit it. I felt her inch into the water timidly and stop right behind me. A delicious whiff swirled around us making me almost drunk. It was blissful so I closed my eyes and deeply breathed her in. All I wanted was to love her. That was all I had ever wanted.
"Beautiful," She said wistfully and her hand touched mine through the waves. The warmth of her touch was scorching and so desirable I had to suppress my own needs in order to protect her. Slowly Images of Bella being strong and immortal like me swam through my mind. It was selfish, I knew it was, but I wanted to touch her without restraint and that would be the only way. If she was like me I could give her a real honeymoon without holding back from fear of killing her. I longed to take her and never let go. If only I could be sure that it was what she wanted. My mind reached back to remember Alice's image of Bella with her skin cool and pale.
This one experience could possibly be her last human one, I thought greedily.
My mind reeled with the implications of that decision and the monster deep inside of me roared triumphantly to the surface. Would she want me to do it quickly? Or would she like me to bite her gently and slowly. I could imagine so easily my teeth sinking into her soft neck and I gasped with the possibilities. I could make it painless for a few precious moments before the venom took hold of her and made her burn. I could savor her blood one last time…and then she would truly be mine…forever. My mind whirled with the thought of turning her. I am a selfish fool.
"It's alright," I said. I knew she was talking about the island and the atmosphere. I had planned it to be this way. I had wanted her time here to be perfect. I turned to her then and her beauty beneath the moonlight was breathtaking. She was my wife.
"But I wouldn't use the word beautiful," I said. "Not with you standing here in comparison." The little smile that graced her face was uniquely Bella. She was my Bella. Her hand touched my chest and had I a beating heart I knew it would be racing. How I longed to feel that particular physical reaction. I allowed myself for a moment to want her completely before realization of what we were about to do hit. I had to be the responsible one about this. She had to understand the seriousness of the danger.
"I promised we would try," I whispered softly. My voice was barely recognizable. My body tensed with my arousal. "If…if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once." I swallowed and watched as she nodded her understanding. She moved toward me and laid her head upon my now still chest. She was so close I could not risk inhaling her lovely aroma. Just when I was about to panic about how close we were about to become she was the calm one.
"Don't be afraid," she murmured against me. "We belong together." I released a breath and I realized that she was right. She was mine as I was hers. I had waited an eternity for her. Her statement prompted me to snake my arms around her exquisite body and hold her tightly against me reveling in the feel of her body heat. I felt her tremble not from fear or cold but from desire and I looked down at her as a husband would gaze upon his wife.
There was nothing to fear.
"Forever" I said with certainty, and pulled her slowly into the water.