Title: Sanctuary Spam Or Why Declan Hates Email

Author: ADeclanFan

Rating: T for language

Spoilers: Sanctuary season 3. Torchwood none that I can think of. Nothing important.

Summary: Declan Macrae/Capt Jack Harkness Sanctuary/Torchwood crossover Crack!fic.

Ever since the Sanctuary episode I have had Capt Jack stuck in my head nagging me to get her back. She has great sentimental value to our Captain.

Disclaimers: Not mine. No profit. Please tell me if it made you laugh.

From: Captain Jack Harkness
To: Declan Macrae
Subj: Current Sanctuary Resident

Mr Macrae,

It has come to my attention that the pterodactyl seen over London last week was captured by your organization and now resides at the UK Sanctuary in London. I believe said is my missing pterosaur. It escaped from our headquarters in Cardiff several months ago. I would like to arrange to send someone to bring him back to Cardiff as soon as possible.

Captain Jack Harkness

Torchwood, Cardiff

From: Declan Macrae

To: Captain Jack Harkness

Subj: re: Current Sanctuary Resident

Captain Harkness,

In order to release the resident into your custody, we will need copies of your proof ownership documents in triplicate, a copy of the current vaccination records and a list of items the pterosaur is regularly fed. For humane and safety reasons, we will also need to arrange a time for one of our inspectors to come and verify the living conditions before the release. Please submit the required documents and schedule the inspection at your convenience.

Yours,

Declan Macrae

Head of House

Sanctuary, London

Declan hit the send button on his email program with a smirk and muttered, "Bloody swaggering Yank tosser!" He doubted he'd hear from Captain Trenchcoat of Torchwood again.