A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews, both positive and negative. I have been getting mixed reviews about the lemons so I decided I will try to develop the character relationships more but still keep an occasional lemon. We finally see a little bit of what Harry wants in this chapter. In the course of the next two weeks I have finals, am moving into a new apartment, and am starting a new job, so please be patient with me; the next update might not be for two weeks. Thanks and enjoy :)

Chapter 22

After our careless night I knew that the next day would bring the serious discussion that could not be avoided. Harry was awake before me so I had to go down to the kitchen to find him. He smiled at me from the stove where he was cooking breakfast. I raised an eyebrow at him, interested that he could cook. I had grown up with house elves cooking for me. He shrugged, "My aunt and uncle used to make me cook for them a lot before I went to Hogwarts. Plus ever since Dobby died in the war, I haven't had the heart to form a bond with another house elf really. I let the house elf that I inherited with this house, Kreacher, work at Hogwarts with the others."

"How were your relatives? I never really knew what happened to you after your parents died. Of course everyone in the wizarding world knows that story."

"They were pretty awful. But they were just muggles who didn't know better." I nodded in response and wrapped my arms around his bare torso.

"So…how was your Christmas at the Burrow?" I finally asked. I think he and I both knew that I was mostly curious how he interacted with Ginny.

He thought for a second then decided to try and evade my question, "Well it was nice. I haven't gotten to spend much time Ron and Hermione lately with being Head Boy. Plus I love the Weasley's since they're pretty much the only family I have."

"Nice try, Potter," I smiled wearily at him, "How'd Ginny take you being there?"

He sighed, "She was actually very pleasant. I think she understands that sometimes I feel isolated because of the war. I put a lot of blame on myself for all of the people who died trying to protect me. That's part of the reason why I decided to come back to Hogwarts instead of going straight into Auror training. I didn't feel like I was ready. I wanted to just enjoy a year of being irresponsible and having fun without the pressure of having to deal with Voldemort in the back of my mind. I just wasn't ready to start adult life yet, you know?"

I nodded in understanding, "I didn't realize how difficult it would be to be the "Boy Who Lived." I think you're incredibly brave, Harry. You don't need to feel guilty for not wanting to grow up just yet. You're way wiser than your years."

"Thanks," he whispered. "But I suppose I should be honest with you. She apologized to me and was very mature about the whole situation. I think she wants us to try again." My heart dropped. Of course she wanted to try again. Harry Potter was not only very famous and wealthy, but he was incredibly brave and selfless and exactly the kind of man any woman would only dream to get a chance with. I knew that with their history I had a small chance against Ginny. At the same time, I knew that Harry also deserved someone who could truly appreciate him like Ginny. He's so sure of what he wants and when he makes a decision he follows through with it. And me? I'm just a mess who has no clue what she wants in life. All I know is that I enjoy spending time with Harry and if he goes back to Ginny that will no longer happen.

"I see," I said, pulling away from and sitting at his kitchen table.

"Raven," he said, reaching towards me, "I didn't give her an answer. I know that you said you didn't want to define anything or want anything serious…but I can't help but feel drawn to you. I don't even care that we hardly know each other. I'm willing to spend time learning more about you. I think we deserve a chance, you know. At the same time, it would really kill me to hurt Ginny like that. But if I knew…"

I smiled weakly at him and shook my head, "Maybe you're better off with someone like Ginny. I can't give you what she can, Harry. I'm always going to be stigmatized in society because of my parents. Even if I did know what I wanted in life, it would be a long difficult road for you if you were with me."

He took my hand, "I think I've lived through more difficult things in life than a little bit of judging from society….actually, I've lived through exactly that. Rita Skeeter is a nightmare, she is."

"I don't know, Harry…"

"Look, Raven. I really enjoy what we have. But you must know that this can't last forever. Eventually we're going to leave Hogwarts, and you need to decide if you want this in the real world. You'll have to make the choice eventually…and Raven, even the worst of us deserve a bit of happiness."

"I just need some more time," I looked at him pleadingly.

"Alright," he nodded. Then he took me into his arms, and it was clear that the conversation was only over for now. I knew I couldn't avoid this forever, but I sure as hell was going to try. How could I ask him to betray the friends that stuck by his side throughout a war for me, a lonely and broken Slytherin.