Chapter 1: Just Face It

Anya MacPherson woke up feeling absolutely disgusting. Her head was pounding, her stomach felt like it was on a rollercoaster, and her hands were shaking. If she hadn't remembered what happened the night before, Anya would have assumed that a bus ran over her multiple times. Realizing that that buzzing noise wasn't coming from her head, but was in fact coming from the alarm clock on her nightstand, she angrily turned it off, barely able to lift her arm. Ugh, after last night, going to school is the last thing I want to do right now, Anya thought as she stared at the ceiling, her pink blanket nuzzled up to her chin.

Suddenly, there was a sharp knock on Anya's door.

"Anya, time to get up. School!" her mother yelled through the door, rather coldly. Anya had to cover her ears, unable to handle her mother's high-pitched voice. I guess I deserved that, she thought. Bitchy was probably the tamest of words that Anya could use to describe how she treated her mother last night. Her mom was her best friend, even more so than Holly J, and yet she completely blew her off so that she could snort more cocaine and grind with some random tool.

"I'm going out tonight," Anya had announced to her mother last night.

"On a school night?" her mother had asked, confused at her daughter's lack of interest in her future. "I thought we'd sit down and figure out what you want to do with your life!"

"I don't care," Anya had responded, a smug smile on her face that she would have slapped if she were her mother.

"Anya, you're not leaving this house!" her exasperated mother protested. Anya could still see the shock and hurt in her mom's eyes, her heart sinking every time she thought about it.

"Watch me," Anya had shot back, still smiling, as if nothing her mom was going to say would change her mind.

Anya put a pillow over her face, wanting it to stay dark so that she could just live in her room forever, and not have to face the people she had hurt, including Owen. She had asked to talk to him after his hockey tournament, and she knew he was doing her a favor by saying yes, given that he seemed pretty reluctant to even look at her. She had been treating him like crap lately. And did they talk? No, because Anya was too busy doing coke. And did Anya get into Hasselt University, her last chance of getting a college education after being rejected by Toronto University? No, because she chose to interview with the dean of admissions while on cocaine, ultimately scaring the dean away. Anya's life was falling apart, all thanks to a tiny plastic bag of white powder. Something that little and seemingly insignificant should not have such life-altering affects, but for somebody who doesn't have a tight hold of her life, it does. I have a lot of apologizing to do, Anya dreaded.

Anya begrudgingly forced herself out of bed and dragged herself into the shower, hoping to wash away her lies, regrets, and that awful cocaine hangover.

After showering and getting dressed in her dreary blue polo, khaki pants, and adding her own touch of a white cropped jacket, Anya headed downstairs to face her mother.

"Mom?" Anya called, walking into the kitchen, smelling waffles that were heating up in the toaster. "Where are you?" she called again.

She found her mom on the couch, still in her pajamas, watching the news. Anya had to leave in five minutes, and her mom wasn't even dressed yet?

"Uhh, hey mom. So, I gotta leave for school in like, five minutes, so…"

"Oh, I didn't tell you?" her mom asked, her eyebrows raised, confusing Anya even more. "You're walking to school. I figured walking all the way to Degrassi would help clear your head and help you straighten out your priorities, because obviously, there's something going on up there," pointing to her daughter's head.

"But, mom, it's like a thirty minute walk!" Anya protested, crossing her arms,

"Well, then I guess you better start walking!" her mother responded calmly, dawning the same smart-alic smile Anya wore the night before.

"Fine," Anya answered, her lips tight, afraid that she would say something she would regret, adding onto her long list of mistakes.

Without even saying goodbye, Anya grabbed her bag and started her long trek to Degrassi Community School. Anya was fuming so much, she could have warmed the crisp, cold air around her. I guess I deserved that too, she eventually reasoned. Maybe this walk is a good idea. Anya concluded that a car-ride with her mother would be more awkward than that guy who had tried grinding up on her last night at the club. Anya shuddered. His shirt was tighter than hers had been, and he wore enough hair gel to supply all of the guidos in the world.

Thinking about how lonely she felt in the crowded club yesterday while her head spun from the cocaine made her miss Owen even more, prompting Anya to step up the pace. She needed to talk to Owen. She needed to set things straight. Hopefully he was open-minded enough to listen to her, Anya worried.