Okay, I'm sorry, this is horrible, I know. I thought maybe some people are into this kind of thing, maybe? I mean, the plot is awful but at least there are no Mary-Sue OC's hogging it.

I have more chapters I might upload if no-one dies tragically while casting their gaze upon this monstrosity of text.

Gorillaz belong to Damon Albarn and Jamie Hewlett.

"I don't wanna sing anymore..." 2D wimpered, sitting curled up on a stool, in front of the microphone in the recording studio of Plastic Beach. "We've recorded the third and fourth album, can't I just go back now?"

"Not until we've earned enough money for me to get drunk non-stop for another five years!" Murdoc replied, grabbing a bunch of papers out of Cyborg Noodle's hands and giving them to 2D. "Now sing, SING!"

"But I don't feel well, I've been sick all week!" The vocalist moaned, before looking down at the papers in his hands. "Besides, all these papers say is 'go stick your tongue in a toaster'. Don't you think we should... Uh... Maybe rethink these lyrics?".

"What?" Murdoc growled, snatching the papers back and skimming the text with his eyes. He looked up and inhaled sharply, biting his lip. "NOOOOODDDDLLLEEEE!" Noodle- The real one- entered the room casually, a smirk hidden under her mask.

"What can I do for you, Murdoc?" The guitarist asked in a happy, perky tone, knowing well what she had done.

"Noodle, I asked you nicely to write up some lyrics for our fifth album, and this is what I get?" Murdoc grumbled angrily, holding the 'lyrics' out in front of Noodle. 2D moaned and folded his arms over his belly.

"WELL maaaaaaybe I'm sick of you being so demanding and trying to make us churn out music when we OBVIOUSLY need a break." Noodle said, in a sarcasticly cheerful tone. "And throwing a carboard box at my head and yelling at me to magically write up ten pages of inspiring song lyrics off the top of my head isn't what I call 'asking nicely'." With that, Noodle stormed out of the room like a drama queen but not so femininely.

"Oh for the love of..." Murdoc groaned, his voice trailing off into a quiet mumble. "Look, 2D, just... Just... Sing something. Anything. And STAND UP OFF THAT SEAT! YOU HAVE FUNCTIONAL LEGS, DAMNIT!

"Uhm... Okay... How 'bout I just sing Empire Ants again...?" 2D said softly, standing up and turning paler than usual. "But I'm warning you, Murdoc, I feel really ill..."

"Don't care, just sing, and CYBORG, MORE RUM!" The robot was serving Murdoc another glass of rum as soon as he made the request. 2D cleared his throat and and inhaled, before hesintantly beginning to sing.

"Ohh joys arise, the sun has come, again, to h-UUURRGGHHLLKKkk!"

"WHAT THE HELL?" Murdoc yelled, spilling his rum as he jumped back in shock. Cyborg Noodle just stood still, unresponsive.

"Ugggghhh...Unngghhh..." 2D moaned, vomit dripping from his mouth and from the microphone. His angelic voice had been interrupted by sudden regurgitation. Now there was a big mess in front of him. Noodle suddenly re-entered the room, only to be greeted by the unpleasant sight.

"Ew, what the..." She said to herself, before looking up at 2D. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

"Hnnngggg... Urhhh..." 2D replied, swaying and wobbling dizzily. "Yeah, just a bit... Unwell, that's all."

"Sweet Satan, there are chunks of styrofoam in it!" Murdoc yelled in disgust as he stared intensely at the gooey puddles at the vocalist's feet. "CYBORG! Clean it up! And get me some more RUM!" The robot gladfully pulled out a mop, bucket and towel and began to wipe up the mess. Within minutes, that part of the recording studio was relatively clean again. The microphone was pretty screwed and had to be replaced again, though.

"Okay let's try this again. This time, HOLD IT IN!" Murdoc yelled. 2D looked back at the bassist with a worried look, sweat dripping down his forehead. He took a deep breath and turned to the new microphone.

"I'm a scary gargoyle on a tower, that you made with plastic power..." The singer began. It was looking good so far. "Your rhinestone eyes ar l-URK... HURllk... RGHk..."

"Stop, stop STOP!" Murdoc yelled, running over to the singer who was beginning to gag again. Unfortunately, by the time he got over to him it was too late. There was a lovely arrangement of partly digested food- and things that weren't food- in a pile at their feet. Murdoc could only stand in horror as he looked at the 'repainting' on his beautiful boots. He turned his head slowly to look at the ill vocalist and raised his hands to strangle him.

"You little sonofamother I'm going to-"

"Murdoc, stop!" Noodle interrupted, pushing the angry bassist back. "You'll make it worse!"

"Fine." Murdoc grunted, sitting back down at his seat in the room and taking a gulp of alcohol. "But I am seriously not in the mood for this crap. Cyborg, clean up the mess again. And any mess 2D shoots out his mouth from now on." Cyborg Noodle made an awkward beeping noise and began cleaning up all the vomit fairly quickly. Murdoc dazed off a bit, and was staring hopelessly at the ceiling when suddenly something mangled and sloppy was dangled over his face.

"WHAT THE-" Murdoc yelled, flailing and quickly falling off his seat before anything could drip onto his nose. "What the hell is that!"

"Unindentified object." Cyborg said, holding the thing in her hand. "Threat captured." The bassist stared slosely at the thing for a while, trying to figure out what it was. It appeared to be a banana peel that Cyborg found in 2D's vomit and mistook for some kind of mutant sea creature.

"Throw it away. THROW IT AWAY!" Murdoc yelled Pointing a shaky finger at the sloppy monstrosity. Cyborg did as requested, throwing the regurgitated banana peel into a nearby bin and blasting it with her shotgun. "Now, 2D, just sing a decent song, and please, for the love of SWEET SATAN, DON'T SPILL YOUR GUTS EVERYWHERE!"

"My stomach hurts." The vocalist moaned, sitting back down on the chair and putting his hands over his face.

"Murdoc, I think you should let him have a break." Noodle advised calmly. "He's obviously unwell and we aren't getting anywhere."

"Let's try something from an earlier album, face-ache." Murdoc groaned, ignoring Noodle. "Feel good Inc, everyone loves that one."

"Cities breaking down on a camel's back, they just have to go 'cause they don't know whack." 2D sang, sounding as wonderful as ever. "So all y-Hrrlk-HRghl-URGHK"

"Oh you've got to be kidding me!" Murdoc screamed, slapping his hand over his forehead and staring up at the ceiling. Cyborg Noodle walked over to the gagging singer, preparing to clean up his vomit, only to have it launched all over her. Dripping with puke, Cyborg stood frozen still for a moment, before short-circuiting on the spot and falling over.

"You killed her, you dumb piece of crap!" Murdoc screamed in fury, jumping off his seat and throwing some old electronic Korg instrument across the recording studio. "You puked on Cyborg and killed her!"

"I.. I... I'm sorry!" 2D sobbed, wiping the bile and drool from his mouth. "I didn't mean to, it just... all came gushing out! Like... A wave!"

"I can't take this anymore!" Noodle yelled, grabbing fistfulls of her hair in rage. "This is just messed up, I'm out of here!" And Noodle dashed her way out of the room once again.

Several hours later, Noodle walked up to the door, with a plate of food in her hands. The guitarist pressed her ear up against the door and what she heard was unpleasant, making her hesitant to enter the room.

"May I come in..?" She said nervously, knocking on the door.

"Yeah whatever." An unenthusiastic voice called from inside. Noodle entered the room, and it was almost exactly how unpleasant she thought it would be. Murdoc sitting on the chair looking terribly unhappy, Cyborg Noodle lifeless and covered in puke in the corner and 2D gripping the microphone stand, hunched over, staring at the ground and gagging uncontrollably.

"I ain't happ-HRRK! I'm feeling glad I g-UGHNKK! Sunshine, in a bag I-GLRGHHK! I'm usele-HLLURGH! But not for long th-URLGHK! Future is coming on, is coming on, is comi-BLRGHK!" 2D tried to sing, but was constantly gagging. Whatever was in his stomach had already been emptied out and there was nothing left to puke up.

"2D, are you... Feeling any better?" Noodle asked, expecting a no. "I got you some lunch."

2D gave Noodle a painful look as he sat back down on the stool behind him in a hunched over position, with his arms folded over his gut. He looked like the mere thought of lunch made him want to puke up his liver. Jumping up from his seat, Murdoc ran over to the guitarist and grabbed the plate of food before throwing it out the window. Russel was woken up from his semi-peaceful nap as the plate landed on the back of his giant head.

"Are you INSANE?" He scolded, dragging his hands down his face dramatically. "The last thing we need is you refilling his puke-bag!"

"Well SOR-RY, old man!" Noodle replied with a sigh, placing her hands on her hips. "I just thought that MAYBE he had gotten hungry since I last left! Give 2D a break, or he'll mess up your entire recording studio!"

"Nuh-uh. Nuh-uh-uh. I want to squeeze as many albums out of this band as I can until I'm filthy stinkin' rich." Murdoc said, taking a sip of his rum. "Unfortunately, since no-one at this moment can come up with some decent lyrics, all we can do is reuse lyrics from our old songs and make them into new songs. Even more unfortunately, face-ache can't seem to keep his guts in!"

For the next week or so, things pretty much remained the same. Anything 2D ate ended up only slightly digested and all over the floor, furniture, equipment, walls, windows and... Somehow even the ceiling. Noodle seriously wanted to leave, and Russel was pretty lucky that he stayed outside the whole time. Thank goodness Cyborg Noodle had been repaired and was able to clean up MOST of the puke. But she wasn't quick enough to keep up with the constant upchucking, that threatened to even overtake the giant pink rotting landfill itself in terms of being disgusting.

"My throat hurts too much." 2D croaked, wiping some of the mess off his lips. "I can't sing anymore..." After finishing that sentence, the singer threw up on his Casio keyboard with great force, ruining it. Murdoc slammed his bass onto the ground in defeat as electricity crackled through 2D's spoiled keyboard.

"I can't take this anymore! Forget it!" Murdoc screamed, having finally been pushed to his absolute limit with recording 2D's vocals. "I'm leaving this dreadful island tomorrow!"

"Yeah well I'm leaving it today!" Noodle called out, standing on top of Russel's head outside the window. "See ya!" And with that Russel waved goodbye and swam off into the horizon. They were gone.

"I hope they drown." Murdoc growled, rolling his eyes and folding his arms.

"Aww don't say that, Mudz!" 2D said, curled up in a ball on the corner. "They our frie-BLUURRGGHHLLLKKKK!"

Suddenly, Murdoc thought of something.

"Cyborg, have the recordings of 2D's sick-singing been recorded?" He asked the robot, scratching his chin with a claw-like finger.

"Yes, master." Cyborg Noodle replied. "I have kept records of audio and visuals."

"And do we still have enough not-puked-on musical equipment to create some decent instrumentals?"

"Yes. We have enough keyboards, drum machines, guitars, etc. to make some decent tracks."

"And do our fans still love everything I- Uhhm, WE create?"

"... Possibly."

"That's good enough for me!" Murdoc screamed in delight. He happily kicked 2D back down into his underwater room of eternally fear and misery, grabbed some instruments, took 2D's recordings and got to work.

Months later, Russel and Noodle were cruising though the streets of chicago. Goodness knows what they were doing there of all places, but they seemed pretty happy. Russel was back to his (almost) normal size, and Noodle had stopped drawing uneccesary attention to herself by wearing a mask all the time and had come to accept the fact that her eye was bruised. One morning, Noodle and Russel went to the music store to look for some CDs.

"It's been ages since we've heard from 2D and Murdoc." Russel said, picking up a few old albums and examining them briefly. "I wonder what they've been up to.".

"I hope 2D recovered from his illness." Noodle said, browsing through the shelves of the shop. Suddenly, something caught her attention. Slowly she reached out a hand, carefully lifting the album off the shelf as if it were a dangerous weapon. Russel looked over Noodle's shoulder and they both stared at it.

It was an album with a picture of a dirty mop and bucket on the front of it.

Titled V-Sides.

By Gorillaz.

I'm not paying for any injuries that may have occured while reading this fanfiction.