A/N: This is my first Hunger Games fic. Please Read and Review. Thanks!

I do not own The Hunger Games.

As I look out the window of the train I think about Prim, and how I wish she were leaving the Capitol with me. But I guess in a way, she already left.
I think about my mother and I feel a tinge of anger and resentment at the fact that she refuses to go back to District 12, our real home. But those feelings quickly disappear and are replaced by pity and understanding. How can I expect her to go back to all those memories of my father and Prim? I'm not really even sure why I'm going back, there's nothing for me there. Everyone I love is gone; everyone I care about is elsewhere. I am alone.

I am greeted by, an almost sober, Haymitch at the train station. I'm surprised to see him. I knew he'd returned to District 12 but I hadn't expected him to be waiting for me when I arrived.

"Hey there, sweetheart. Been a while" he says

"What are you doing here Haymitch?"

"Came to pick you up, what else?" I notice the bag in his hand. It's full of glass bottles.

"Me or your dear bottles?" I ask motioning towards his bag.

"Might as well kill two birds with one stone, girl." He tells me simply.

"How did you know I was arriving today?"

"The shrink called me. Told me to keep an eye on you"

"Hmm"

He grabs one of my suit cases and begins walking

"Let's get movin I assume you're tired from the trip."

I don't respond but he's right, I'm exhausted.

"How's your boy doing?" he asks me.
I am taken aback by his question.

"What makes you think I know?" I say a little irritated.

I haven't seen or spoken to Peeta in months. Last thing I heard was that Dr. Aurelius was trying some sort of new therapy on him, to help with the flashbacks. I have no hopes of it working; I have no hopes of ever seeing him again.

I feel my face flush when I realize Haymitch never mentioned Peeta's name and he could have been talking about Gale.

Haymitch is staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothin', guess your therapy didn't fix your attitude, seems to me it made it worse"

"Therapy won't fix the fact that my sister is gone." I snap.

He stops trying to make conversation and we walk in silence until we arrive at the Victor's Village.

He brings my bags in and starts to say something but I am already walking up the stairs and ignore him. I walk into my room and lie down on my bed.

The house is quiet and I start to feel the loneliness I've been ignoring since I decided to return to District 12.

I start to drift to sleep with thoughts of Peeta and Gale, and the conversation I overheard so long ago.

"Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without" I hear Gales voice in my mind.

Turns out that decision was made for me. I'd have to survive without either of them. One has been hijacked and the other is partly responsible for my sister's death. I could do just fine by myself. And with that thought I finally drift off to sleep.

The weeks go by slowly. Sometimes I lie in bed all day. Sometimes I get up and make my way to the couch where I proceed to sit all day.

At first Haymitch makes it a point to check on me every once in a while, but he stops doing that, maybe because I'm always either rude or unresponsive, but probably because he's too busy getting drunk.

My phone rings often but I seldom answer it. I don't want to talk to any body, and most of the time I know it's Dr. Aurelius calling. He won't leave me alone, that's all I want, to be left alone.

Greasy Sae has begun to stop by with her granddaughter; I suspect Haymitch talked to her about making sure I eat. She cooks and I sit in the living room staring at the ceiling or watching her granddaughter play.

"You could turn on that TV, Katniss," she tells me one day as she's setting the table.

"I don't want to watch anything" I dismiss her idea quickly.

"Need help with anything?" I ask her. And she tells me no.

At first we don't talk but as the days go by and our routine begins to set in, we start having small conversations. She updates me on the whereabouts of people I used to know. And when I ask if she knows where Gale is, she tells me he's in District 2. I nod and continue eating.

Greasy Sae encourages me to get out of the house and go hunting. But I don't have the strength yet. I do begin to venture out of the house more often, mostly to walk around my yard or sit on my porch. And one day I even get the courage to go back to what's left of the Seam, my home. I can only stay for a few minutes before the memories begin to flood my mind and tears are threatening to escape.

The sun has begun to set as I walk home and I am about to open the door when I notice a light come on in the house next door.

I become angry at the thought of someone entering Peeta's home without permission.

As I near Peeta's house I can hear someone moving about inside, there's a loud noise and I assume the intruder is in the kitchen and has just dropped some pots and pans. I turn the doorknob; it's unlocked. I make my way to the kitchen trying not to make noise so I can catch the trespasser in the act.

I walk into the kitchen expecting to see one of the town children snooping around, but instead I find myself staring into a pair of blue eyes.

"Hello, Katniss" he says smiling.

Peeta.

He looks healthy, and I notice a hint of a spark as he says my name, just like before. It's as if I've traveled back in time to before he was hijacked. I've missed that Peeta. I want to run to him and throw my arms around him. I want to ask how he's been and when he got back. But I am frozen. I cannot move, much less utter a single word.

Then it hits me, the fact that this is the Peeta with scars all over his body, with an unstable mind.

I don't know if I'm angry or sad, surprised or happy, but I feel stupid as my vision begins to blur. I am clenching my fists, digging my nails into my palms, trying my hardest to hold back tears. I turn around abruptly and walk out of his house without saying a word.