EDIT: Not a one-shot anymore ;P

This is my first TOS Star Trek fic, and it makes me a little sad (okay a lot) that it is only a little one-shot drabble thingy and contains bits of nu/reboot!Trek and S/U. That's really the only warning you need, except for one small itty-bitty expletive because of Bones' influence. Also, that this was the product of watching ST:2009's director+ commentary so it's bound to be weird.

I have to say, it was harder to write IC for TOS than what I've been doing in my reboots. Well, enough about me, E&R (enjoy and review) everyone!

I stand there, determined and fierce but broken in a tragically sympathetic way. I can feel the walls I keep up to keep from overwhelming him start to crumble in my mind with grief-she was like a mother to me, too-but, physically, I refuse to let it show. He needs me. He needs me right now to be strong. And I will. For him.

I hold his face, cupping his cheeks lovingly as my graceful, long fingers skim across his pointed ears. "What is it?" I whisper to him because anything louder would kill us both. It is painful to swallow and continue on. It is painful to tip-toe around my emotionless but emotionally-compromised boyfriend for obvious reasons.

And he knows it too. He looks away. "Tell me what you need," I beg and plead and demand of him all at once.

He takes my hands, covering them with a squeeze before dropping them. Vulcan assurances, more than a kiss but less than an 'I love you'. As a Xenolinguistics major and girlfriend to a Vulcan for so long, it should not be this easy to lose things in communication. It should not be this hard to chase after someone you hold in your arms.

He says rumbling like water before the falls, "I need..." and he stops. I look away because he has already told me more than he could ever say. "I need for us all to continue performing admirably,"

I blink away the hurt, the rejection, and nod. "Okay," I hear myself respond even though it is anything but. Where did we go wrong? What have I mistranslated? Why am I, everything he desired as a logical mate, the closest being whom could ever come to be a lover to him, simply not enough for him?

I reach in for one last kiss, a final goodbye and my head spins. There is no intimacy here, no spark or rush of affection anymore, just familiarity. He is dead inside, dead to me. Static in space. I can no longer read him. But I love him still, and I know I always will. He was my mentor, my first true love; I miss him already even as I only begin to pull away.

I look over to Kirk, standing on the next closest transporter circle and I hate him for it. Hate him for being so close, hate him for witnessing my ultimate pain, hate him for never revealing his true self to me just like my Spock.

But then I see his eyes, his cold, dark eyes that seemed to have forgotten to match the rest of his stupid, fake, bewildered expression complete with the slack jaw. They are burning, searing through me and every part of my body that touches my ex. Those blues hissing at me "Don't touch him. He's mine!" in such a jealous fury made my heart stop cold.

Nyota gasped awake, clutching at her heart which only a moment ago was frozen in her dreams. She put a hand to her head and glanced around her quarters that seemingly took a minute to melt back into familiarity. "It felt so real..." she murmured to herself before sighing and kicking off her covers to start her day.

The dreams had started a week ago featuring a parallel Mr. Spock and a parallel herself mostly, in their Academy days. But they were much closer than the real herself and Spock ever were-apparently dating and in a serious relationship at that. Which was more than absurd. The real Spock was much too invested in the Captain's well-being, his own duties and the efficiency of the USS Enterprise to actually begin to date someone. And even then, he was practically a Vulcan poster boy regarding emotions and attachments.

Yet, the dreams continued with more alarming intensity and it was impossible to separate herself from parallel-her until she actually woke up. She was convinced that this was another her's life that she was somehow glimpsing in what could only be another, parallel, universe. After all, she thought that she would know if Vulcan had been destroyed in real life.

And while that knowledge assured and calmed her before, there was something honest and lingering in those horrible eyes she saw of her parallel Captain. It frightened her so much that her hands were still shaking as she dressed. She had to speak to her's about it.

"Captain," she asked politely, taking out her earpiece as her relief filed in. "May I have a word with you privately?"

"I am sure I can spare a few for the best Communications Officer in Starfleet," Nyota almost gasped at the change his brilliant smile and charming hazel eyes were. She really should have known, though. These were the eyes she looked to for strength and comfort in times of trouble, countless times before. And, most importantly, they were nowhere near blue.

"You flatter me, sir," she said modestly.

Kirk nodded once for Spock to take his position and then jerked his head towards the turbo-lift, declining to respond to her comment. "Come," he ordered gently, nothing like the monster he was in a parallel world. "Let's talk about what's bothering you,"

"You knew?" she asked in shock as he called out for Deck 5.

"It's my job to look out for my crew. I pride myself on my ability to do exactly that," he said easily, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Such kindness, after the death and horror of her fresh dreams, brought tears to her eyes.

"Nyota," he said softly, just as gently as parallel her spoke to Spock. "You can tell me anything. Off the record, I promise,"

"Well, you see, Captain," she began, noticing now that he had stopped the lift for her. "I've been having these dreams-"

"I'm sure Bones will prescribe something for you if they trouble you like this," he interrupted.

"Oh, they're no trouble at all! I mean, usually they're quite nice. It's just..." she stopped herself with a light blush. "It's so absurd! None of it makes any sense, but it feels so real. Like I'm dreaming about an alternate reality, but I am the one kissing Mister Spock, and it's really you I see with those scary eyes because you're in love with Spock and he's in love with you and...and you must think I'm crazy," she slowed, seeing his far-off expression.

He blinked, as if becoming aware of her speaking to him, and rubbed his chin faintly. "Oh no, no, no," he murmured. "I don't think that at all. Although, the idea of Mister Spock and I in love does sound a little absurd," Kirk gave her a little grin and she smiled faintly back.

"Yes...yes, it rather does," she agreed quietly.

The doors opened and Kirk led Nyota to her room by his two hands guiding her shoulders. "I think we can chalk this one up to some stress. Why don't you lie down and rest for awhile and I'll send Doctor McCoy down to see you later,"

Her doors swished opened and she turned around to face him. "Oh, but Captain, I feel fine!"

He lifted his hands up in a good-natured placating way. "I'm sure you do. I'm just doing this so I don't get an earful of Bones lecturing me about diagnosing the entire crew without a medical license, because dammit, Jim, I'm the ship's CMO around here, not you!" His eyes sparkled with humour.

Nyota laughed a little. It seemed there was one constant between the parallel world and the real one at least. "Thank you, Captain," she whispered, feeling a lot more relieved.

"Think nothing of it, Lieutenant Uhura," he said warmly and turned to leave. For some strange reason, she felt there was something hidden, lurking behind those words like a warning.

She ignored that feeling and followed his orders. She put her head to her pillow and no longer dreamt about the parallel world, but never quite forgot it. The memories of phantom kisses and burning, blue eyes haunting her every now and again.

Kirk stepped into Spock's quarters for their regularly scheduled chess game forty minutes early and rather stiff.

"Captain," Spock greeted him, rising from his meditating. "I did not know you would be arriving so early-"

Unfathomable, calculating eyes stopped his apology in its tracks and his next words sent a foreboding chill up Spock's spine.

"She knows."