A certain someone said I could use a conversation of theirs... HOW FOOLISH! Thank you, randomosity for even reading my drivel. I was going online to research something TERRIBLY IMPORTANT (which I have now forgotten) for my book, and I saw your review. So, instead of doing real work, I'm writing this for you.

Zoro and Sanji Go Drinking

Chairs

Zoro: OMG A CHAIR! *sits on a chair*

Sanji: OMG ANOTHER CHAIR! *sits on the other chair*

Bartender (thinking): Those were the same chairs they were sitting on two minutes ago. Are they really that drunk, or are they just insane?

Sanji: Hey, when you think about it, chairs are kind of like animals.

Zoro: I'VE GOT FIVE-HUNDRED BERRIES THAT SAYS THEY AIN'T!

Sanji: No, just hear me out! 'Coz chairs have four legs, right?

Zoro: Right...

Sanji: And, like, most animals or whatever have four legs, right?

Zoro: Right...

Sanji: …

Zoro: And?

Sanji: That's it.

Zoro: You're drunk. And stupid.

Sanji: And the pot calls the kettle black.

Zoro: I never understood that. I mean, what if the pot isn't black? What if it's silver? Or if the kettle's silver?

Sanji: Well, if the pot calls the kettle black, and the kettle's silver, then I guess the pot's a liar.

Zoro: Damn pots.

Sanji: You can't trust 'em for crap. My mum used to have a blue pot.

Zoro: What's that got to do with anything?

Sanji: I thought we were talking about the colours of pots.

Zoro: We were talking about how pots are liars.

Sanji: Oh, yeah... My mum's blue pot was probably a liar.

Zoro: What do you mean, "probably?"

Sanji: Well, it's not like it ever spoke to me.

Zoro: My mum used to tell me the cookie jar was watching me, and it would tell her when I had been stealing cookies.

Sanji: Was that true?

Zoro: I don't know, but she definitely had some way of finding out. They say mums have eyes in the back of their heads.

Sanji: What good does that do?

Zoro: So she can see what you're doing while her back's turned.

Sanji: Yeah, but wouldn't her hair get in the way. I mean, it's getting in the way of us seeing her eyes, so her eyes shouldn't be able to see us.

Zoro: I guess your right. It must only work if she's bald.

Sanji: Is your mum bald?

Zoro: Of course not. Your's?

Sanji: No. That'd be weird.

Zoro: Hair's weird.

Sanji: Yeah... How so?

Zoro: Just the way it feels... and... keeps growing...

Sanji: It doesn't cost anything to make. If we could figure out a way of being able to eat hair, we could solve world hunger.

Zoro: And then kill the bald people.

Sanji: Well, they'd just be taking up space anyway.

Zoro: I reckon.

Sanji: We should do it.

Zoro: Do what?

Sanji: Go into researching this. We could be rich!

Zoro: With you? I think I'd rather glass myself in the eye. Besides, it'd probably be a lot of effort.

Sanji: You're right... How did we even get on this subject?

Zoro: I don't know. You called me a pot or something.

Sanji: Oh, yeah... How are you a pot?

Zoro: How the hell should I know?

Sanji: Pots are liars, you know.

Zoro: Especially blue ones.

Okay. That was fun. I literally spat that out in about ten minutes without thinking, but it was fun. I even managed to throw in some of my own real-life conversations. (Guess which ones...)