Zydrate Baby

Disclaimer- I do not own Repo! The Genetic Opera or its characters.

Plot Summary- Graverobber gets Shilo pregnant; both are unsure if it's ethical to bring a baby into their world.

Quick note: Hey guys, I know I tend to explore this subject (commitment and babies) a lot for some odd reason, and personally, can't see it ever actually happening. But I started thinking about it and wondered what would happen if it actually happened and tried to write it. I'm trying to do it while keeping everyone character but it's not easy (still will try!). With that in mind, no flames please, constructive criticism welcome as usual. Thanks!

Shilo looked green again. Graverobber may not have noticed if her skin wasn't always pale. Actually, he had noticed the girl acting strange lately. According to her, some of the symptoms of her illness were coming back such as her nausea or fatigue. In the past two years he had known his roommate/ward/semi-girlfriend, she had not once since the few weeks after the opera, been consistently sick in his presence. A flu or cold here, sure, but never for two weeks in a row like she had been.

He was in fact, very surprised to see his 'girlfriend' for lack of better words, still up when he returned home from work that night. "Kid? Don't you have classes or some shit tomorrow?"

She was about to answer when she crinkled her nose. "God, you smell!" He raised an eyebrow as if to subtle remind her of his profession. She realized what she had said and shook her head clear. "Sorry, not sure where that came from…."

"Still feel like crap?" The z-peddler sat down next to her on the couch and extended a make-up covered hand against her face. Though he was never paternal; he did have a certain soft spot for the young girl. He had tried to replace the parts of her life that called for a male role model; but to become anything other than the girl's lover—seemed ridiculous.

She nodded, creating a soothing friction against his hand. Shilo was chilled as usual, but not particularly warm or cold. She seemed completely normal to him. "You feel fine to me."

"Then why do I feel sick?" Shilo asked half-sarcastic, half-whine. Her eyes became wide. "What if my dad's poison is causing this?"

"After two years? Wouldn't it be out of your system by now?" Not that he was the one currently studying pre-med at college.

"Depends on what he used. He could have used a metal, and that can stay in your system for decades." Said the one who was studying medicine. Shilo brushed a hand through her shoulder length hair and sighed. " I called a doctor—she's stopping by the house tomorrow."

"A GeneCo doctor?" He gave her a look; hoping she'd know better than to trust the evil company. He was relieved when Shilo returned his glance with a glare of her own. "Just checking."

"It's that Dr. Kellis I saw the first few months off my dad's poison." Graverobber sighed as he eased himself down next to Shilo.

"Want me around for it?"

"Not really."

"Good." He said, resting his hand on her lap. Graverobber knew better than to be hurt when she laughed. Many women were so high strung and filled with inner resentment. Yet, despite everything the no-longer teen had been through, once he reluctantly agreed to live with the girl, she seemed to warm up once again—becoming happy and at peace at last. Unlike so many other women, Shilo was just good natured and pure. "What time should I retreat?"

"About 4. I'm missing class, but it's the only time she could do it." Shilo quietly said. He traced her jaw line with his free hand and leaned over to kiss her. He licked her lips asking for entranced into her mouth. She pulled away instead, covering her mouth and nose.

"Oh god…" Shilo spilled from the couch and ran across the room to the bathroom. Graverobber watched in amazement. He could only hope that this sickness wouldn't interfere too much with their physical activity.

And he knew full well he was a dick for thinking that.

()

"Ms. Wallace, I think I've determined the cause of your illness." Dr. Kellis said. Shilo lifted herself to a sitting position from her bed. She had to decide to sleep off a particularly bad bout of nausea while waiting for Dr. Kellis to look over the samples she had taken. The unnaturally redheaded, heavy bust, leg-revealing doctor had made Shilo weary at first. The only reason she had decided to trust her was that Dr. Ashlyn Kellis had made the bold move of working on her own (with less pay) rather than for GeneCo. A bet that had paid off despite the woman's obvious attention to surgery trends.

"Did one of the tests turn up something?" She asked nervously. "It's not the poison, is it?"

The red lipstick smile came as a blessing to Shilo. "Don't worry—you're perfectly healthy. You're just exhibiting the usual signs of morning sickness."

Shilo frowned once more. "I- I don't understand."

She understood perfectly well. She just couldn't believe it. Shilo was hoping maybe she had heard Dr. Kellis wrong, or that she had said something she didn't mean.

It was no mistake. "You're pregnant Ms. Wallace. About a month along now. I'm taking some blood samples with me to make sure, but I'm fairly confident you and your baby are in no danger."

Shilo paled; her heart felt like it was racing out her chest. The vile climbed back up her throat as her emotions fought against her body. Shock. Fear. Confusion. It hit her all at once. It was impossible for her to be pregnant. Graverobber had always insisted on birth control because he never wanted to have children. She, having her own issues with parenting to deal with, never once had an immense desire to have a baby.

"Ms. Wallace? Was this, not expected?" Shilo broke out of her shock. She had to wonder how many 20 year olds got pregnant these days. Shilo shook her head slowly while pushing her tears back. She didn't like crying in front of other people—not even Graverobber. The doctor sighed. "Is it something you want to talk about?"

"Not really." Shilo took a deep breath before asking. "Are you sure? I mean, really sure?"

Dr. Kellis gave her a low glare. One that indicated that Shilo was not the first person to ask her that question; but she still took it as an insult.

"It's no mistake, Ms. Wallace." Dr. Kellis tapped her long fingernails against Shilo's dresser. Once the awkward annoyance passed, she walked over and kneeled in front of the young woman. "Shilo—may I call you that? Do you know who the father is?"

She shouldn't have been shocked, but couldn't help the blank moment of disgust that flashed across her face. Kellis smiled gently and shrugged as if to say 'Standard question'. Shilo had read statistics about how an epidemic of children were conceived in a zydrate haze.

Could she bring another child into a world like that? Could she cast the life form growing inside her aside either? The more Shilo thought about it, the sicker she felt. It was so over-whelming, she could barely think straight.

She didn't know what to do once Dr. Kellis left—but one thing was certain. She had to tell Graverobber.

()

He was in the basement sharpening needles when he heard the door open. It was odd considering after he moved in; Shilo had willingly given him the basement. Apparently, her father had kept all his weapons down there; it had simply been too traumatic for her to use as a personal space. Graverobber was more than happy to occupy it as a personal space. As a result, Shilo never came down to visit.

"Hey kid, what are doing down here?"

He could feel her presence, but got no answer. He tried again. "How'd it go?"

Graverobber placed the needle down and turned ready to hear her sarcastic response. His mood took a complete downturn when he saw her.

Shilo's arms were wrapped around herself. She was paler than usual and shaking right down to her knee-high stockings. Her hair was covering her face, which he had learned meant she was trying to hide something. His heart twisted at the idea that she had been right about her father's poison. So much so, he used her true name.

"Shilo? What did the doctor say?" His voice took on a possessive feel. Graverobber stood tall, unintentionally towering over her. "Did that bastard's 'medicine' –- "

She weakly shook her head. He covered his chest with a hand and sighed his relief. "Thank god; Jesus, kid, you know better than to give a old man a heart attack like that." She usually laughed at his jokes about their age different. Instead, she responded with a choked sob. He raised his eyebrow. "Is something else wrong? Come on kid, just tell me."

Carefully, Graverobber reached out and lifted her chin so she'd look him in the eyes. Once her umber brown met his smoldering black, she couldn't contain her tears. Graverobber sighed and tried a different approach. With a half-smile, he jokingly add. "Come on, it's not like you're pregnant or anything, so what is it?"

At first, he tried to smile it off, willing her to do the same. Shilo looked away and sobbed heavier. He frowned, his quick mind seeing the truth. "You're shitting me, right? You're just joking?" He had to ask, even though he knew there was no way she'd be this upset if she were joking.

Shilo shook her head. He released her chin. Graverobber ran a hand through his hair while trying to remain calm. His attempts to control himself exploded into a fury of curses. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK! How could this happen? I always wrapped!" He looked up from his breakdown. "We were always safe. How the FUCK did this happen?"

Shilo could hardly breathe. Incomprehensible words made their way out. "I…I…Don't know…I can't…"

A large gasp almost sent her to the ground. Graverobber caught her just before she hit the ground. Contrary to his nature, he put his own opinions on hold for her sake. The z-peddler lifted her into his arms, holding her close as he carried her up the stairs.

He sat down and held her in his lap. One hand ran down her back to calm her, the other holding her head against his chest. The information weighed down on him though and he had to wonder if it was just karma coming back to haunt him. It shouldn't have surprised him. After all, how many women had he slept with even if Shilo was the only one within the past year and a half? Hell, Graverobber should have had a liter of kids by now if justice truly existed.

But of all the girls—why her? It wasn't that he thought Shilo would be a bad mother. She, after all, was 100 times more maternal than the whores he had rocked before her, and had twice the potential in her little finger alone. That being said, the 20 year old was just a kid herself. He, at very least was in his early thirties, but she barely knew what it was like to be an adult. She never had a childhood, but now because of his carelessness, she was expected to give someone else one?

Shilo managed to calm down after holding on to him for a while. Once he was sure it was safe, he asked her. "What are you gonna do?" Her hand fisted up in his shirt. Graverobber tensed. "No, no…fuck… What I mean is, are you going to keep it?"

She relaxed again once he clarified. Shilo buried her face in his chest. "I…I don't know. What do you want to do?"

Graverobber groaned. "Shit, I don't know, kid. I'm not the one who has to get fat and carry it for the better part of a year. And I'm not the one who has to 'have the procedure' if you decide you don't want it. So, it's up to you."

"As afraid as I am to be a mom; I don't think I can go through with an abortion …" His arms tensed around her and she broke down into sobs once more. "But that's what you want me to do, isn't it?"

He groaned. "It doesn't really matter now, does it?"

"Of course it does!" Shilo released his shirt and her fist came down on his chest once. Barely hard enough for him to feel it. "It's your baby too…"

He could have cringed when she said that. Graverobber knew he should have felt bad for taking the news so hard. It wasn't hard to understand however—he didn't like kids, he didn't much care for other people, and frankly, Shilo was the only person in the world he gave a damn about it. So, part of him did wanted to be the reassuring male presence in this whole dynamic.

He just couldn't see it, though. When he saw a family, two images entered his head. His own dysfunctional family—a drunken, bat-shit crazy mom and a mostly absent father, and the vision of a quaint little family walking through the park together (sadly, his family was more common now a days than the one he saw as a small child). Graverobber couldn't put himself in either scenario. He just couldn't see himself as a father.

The solution seemed simple to him. This world was too screwy to ethically bring a child into. Not when the non-existent father was the most common one. It wasn't a role he wanted to fulfill nor did he truly think Shilo wanted to be a mother. For some reason, the words 'Just do it, kid' couldn't leave his lips. Because deep in his rotting sub-conscious, he knew no matter what they did it, it'd be worse for her.

Shilo wiped the tears from her eyes. "I don't know…I need to think about it…."

With a sigh, he responded. "I think we both need to think, kid." Graverobber gently lifted Shilo off his lap to the seat beside him. He stood up and had to fight to stay up. This house, while large in size, was making him claustrophobic. How in the hell he could be so when he spent endless hours hiding in dumpsters and digging up deep graves, he couldn't say.

All he knew he had to get out. He had to think too. Graverobber grabbed his coat off the chair and looked back at Shilo. "I gotta go work, okay? You gonna be alright by yourself, kid?"

Shilo nodded slowly but was starting to get annoyed. Should she be surprised that the moment something like this occurs, he couldn't leave fast enough? No. What was between them was never meant to be permanent—it was by the grace of god that Graverobber had remained loyal to her for over a year. But she barely knew what they were. He never called her 'love' or 'girlfriend', and he never said he loved her. Part of her was always relieved because love had always justified causing her harm (at least, that's she had been made to believe in the past). But now, she wasn't sure if she could have a baby that wasn't created out of love.

She could go on without him. She just hoped she wouldn't have to.

Hey again guys, just wanted to say I apologize if Shilo seems a bit out of character this chapter (I swear, won't be like this the whole story, just the initial part). This probably the kind of scenario that'd have them both out of character, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!