God damn Eli Goldsworthy. God damn him!

Why was I still thinking about him after that show he put on last week? He was crazy, and he had that stupid Imogen to thank.

I knew he was insane...but I still couldn't stop thinking about him. He somehow found his way into all my writing and thoughts. Even my dreams. I just HATED that Imogen! And I hated myself for still loving him.

"Clare? Clare!" I heard Ali say, shaking me. I woke up with a gasp.

"What? Huh?" I wiped some drool off my chin and blushed a little. "Sorry...late work session last night. I'm having total writer's block." I rubbed my eyes.

"It's fine. Just try not to sleep while we're actually supposed to be learning." Ali laughed. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

I was thankful when the bell for lunch finally rang. I was starving. "Hey Clare, Sav wants to know if you want to go to the Dot for lunch." Ali called to me.

I looked at my squished sack lunch then nodded. "Sounds great." I shut my locker and walked to Ali, smiling weakly.

"We can talk if you want." She said quietly."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I know you better than that." She glared at me.

"Fine. But not now. Later."

"Fine." She sighed in defeat. We walked to Sav's car and got in, me yawning and rubbing my head.

"You okay, Clare?" Sav looked at me, concerned.

"Yeah, never better. Just late night work session. No biggie." I said while yawning. I rubbed my eyes then looked out the window. I saw Eli then Imogen walk out and I felt my heart sink. As I saw them sit outside on a bench, I could have sworn my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach.

"Clare?" Ali looked at me as if she asked a question. Only, I didn't hear anyone ask a question.

"Huh?"

"I asked if you wanted to come over Friday."

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Sounds great." I smiled and nodded before looking back out the window. Watching the landscape rush past the car made me feel a little bit better. I wanted to stop stressing for a while.

Not only was my situation with Eli setting my stress levels at an all time high, my parents were also back to fighting. I closed my eyes and thought back to the day Eli told me to write the letter to my parents.

"Something that pisses you off?" He looked at me.

"Besides my English partner?" I looked back at him. He smirked and made a mock "hurt" face.

"Ouch."

I opened my eyes when I felt the car stop. The smile quickly left my face when I came back down to reality. Sighing, I got out of the car and walked inside. The Dot was my favorite eatery, then again it was just about EVERYONE'S favorite joint.

I sat at Ali and I's usual booth and grabbed a menu.

"Wanna split the 'cookie monster'?" Ali asked me. I laughed.

"We haven't even had lunch yet."

"Who says we can't have ice cream for lunch." She smiled. I laughed again.

"Sure, why not." I smiled then stopped when I saw Eli and Imogen walk in. "I...I have to get some air." I walked outside, brushing past Eli and Imogen and coughing. "Oh gosh..." I rubbed my stomach.

I felt like I was going to puke. Ali must have picked up on it, or just saw Imogen and Eli walk in, because she quickly came after me. "Are you okay, Clare?"

"What does a panic attack feel like?" I started to breathe heavier.

"Don't be so melodramatic. Just calm down." She rubbed my back and my breathing returned to normal. "I thought you were over him."

"I did too." I looked through the window at Eli, laughing at something Imogen said probably. Either way he was laughing. I felt a pain in my chest. Was it possible for your heart to hurt? That's definitely what was happening to me.

"Come on, Clarebear." Ali walked me inside. I hid my face behind my jacket collar then sat down across from Ali. I looked up to the counter and caught Eli's eye for just a second before quickly looking at the menu.

He paused then continued talking. "So. Cookie monster then?" I smiled weakly. Ali smiled weakly back.

"Yeah." Ali nodded. Sav looked from her to me.

"I don't want to know." He shook his head. Ali and I had to laugh at that.

"No, you really don't." We laughed again.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaimed as we walked out. "Who knew I could eat THAT much chocolate." I laughed, rubbing my stomach.

"I know. I thought I was going to explode after that last bite." Ali laughed.

"Well, at least I'll have plenty of sugar to keep me awake during class." I looked at my watch. "Oh no!"

"What?" Sav asked.

"We only have like...5 minutes to get back!" I yelled.

"Shoot!" He quickly got into the car and Ali and I followed suit quickly. He started the car and pulled out of his parking space before making the journey back to school.

"4 minutes!" I said nervously, biting my lip. I looked out the window and another memory flashed through my mind.

"As your boyfriend it's my job to protect you!" He said, angry but also concerned.

I looked up at Eli and sighed. "I never asked you to do that."

"Well if not me, who?"

I shook my head, coming back to reality again. I looked out the window as we pulled into the school parking lot. "Perfect. 3 minutes to spare." I got out and ran to my locker, grabbing my books then running to Math.

I took my seat and smiled slightly. "Sorry." I whispered to the teacher, breathing a bit hard from running.

"It's fine, Clare." He replied. I nodded and got out my notebook. Then I grabbed my pencil and began taking notes. For some reason, I couldn't focus. Math was always one of my greatest subjects.

As I was gathering my thoughts, I heard my name called. "Huh?" I looked up.

"The answer, Clare." replied the teacher.

"Oh uhh..." I looked at the board. "Five...?" Everyone laughed. I blushed and looked down.

"That's incorrect, Clare..." Everything after that was a blank. I opened my eyes and found myself in the nurse's office.

"What the..." I looked around.

"Oh, finally you're awake!" Said the nurse, smiling at me.

"What the heck happened?"

"You fainted. In math class." That would make sense. I guess the sleep deprivation was getting to me.

"What time is it?" I mumbled, rubbing my head.

"Just after 1:30." She smiled again. I was out for half an hour? "When's the last time you slept?"

I honestly couldn't remember. The dreams of Eli and late working hours kept me awake. "Um...Saturday?" It was now Tuesday. The nurse looked at me with concern.

"Insomnia?" I nodded.

"You need to see a doctor for that, if it's because this big of a problem." She nodded promptly. "But for now, just sleep here. I'll call your parents and they-"

"No!" I shouted before I could stop myself. She looked at me, shocked. "I-I mean..why bother them? I'll be fine. I just need some rest, right?" The last thing I needed was my parents arguing over me not getting enough sleep.

She nodded once. "I'll leave you to rest now. Sleep well." She smiled warmly then left. I lay down and closed my eyes. I saw Eli's face and smiled.

His gorgeous smile suddenly turned into a look of anger and disgust. I heard the words playing over in my dream.

"I don't love you anymore. I'm free!" He declared, standing up.

"You need help." I said.

"I have all the help I need." Imogen appeared behind him.

"No!" I sat up quickly and opened my eyes, breathing heavily. I rubbed my head, which was now pounding. "Ugh..." I looked at my watch. 2:45. School was still letting out when I got up and walked out of the nurse's office.

"Clare?" I heard Adam say. "Clare!" He smiled and walked to me. "Hey. I heard about your little stunt in math. Great way to get out of a test." He nudged me. I laughed.

"As great as that would have been, that's not exactly what happened." He looked at me suddenly concerned as we stopped at my locker.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't been...sleeping very well since, well since last week." I grabbed my book from my locker. Adam nodded.

"Since Eli yelled at you..." He looked down. I nodded and shut my locker. "If it's any consolation, I'm on your side. I've always rooted for you and Eli." He laughed a little. I smiled softly.

"Thanks. Hey, do you wanna walk home with me?" I looked at him.

"Sure. Just let me tell Drew. Meet you outside?" He looked at me. I nodded then he left.

I smiled then walked outside, carrying all my books in my arms.

"Sorry!" I heard a voice say as they bumped into me, sending my books falling onto the ground.

"It's fine." I replied, reaching for my English book. My hand met a familiar hand covered with rings and bracelets. I looked up and my eyes met Eli's. "Um...I..."

"My fault..." He said, picking up my books and standing up. I stood up after him and nodded.

"No. It was mine. I wasn't looking." I forced a smile as he handed me my books. "Just a bit um...dazed."

He chuckled softly. I had to smile as I saw his familiar smile, if only for a moment. "yeah. I heard about your fainting incident in math." He laughed. "Smoke bombs and now fainting, what will Clare Edwards think of next?"

"Thanks, but it wasn't a diversion or a way to get out of a test." I laughed a little. "I haven't been getting much sleep lately due to my um...homework. Writing and such...I've had writer's block lately." I shrugged. He nodded.

"I know the feeling..." He cleared his throat. His crazy seemed to be gone, but maybe it was wishful thinking. "But hey, I'm sure it will work." He nodded. "Nice seeing you."

"We have English together. I sit behind you." I looked at him, feeling like I was about to cry.

"Right." He nodded. "See you around, Clare." He nodded then walked past me. I felt tears threatening to fall.

"Hey, you two talked without yelling." Adam laughed a little

"Yeah." I nodded, my voice hoarse. "Call the Vatican, a miracle has happened!" I laughed lightly, wiping my eyes. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough..." He looked at me then hugged me tightly. "He'll come back to us...I promise." He whispered.

I cried and buried my face in his shirt. "How do you know?"

"Because Eli is too stubborn to be what someone else wants."