A/N: Hello! It's finally my turn to say: This is my first fan-fic, so please be patient! :) It's been a lot of fun exploring the life and thoughts of these characters. I hope I've done them justice. After writing over 40,000 words of this fic already, with only the epilogue left to write, it's a little strange to come back to the very opening scene. Still, I can tell my writing has already improved, and I'm encouraged by that fact. I've never completed something of this scale before, so it's been a learning experience.

Special thanks to Ariel-D for being my beta-reader. She is amazingly helpful and encouraging, not to mention awesome for being willing to beta when I know she's busy. Thank you so much! XD (She's an amazing writer, so check her stuff out!)

I hope you enjoy reading this story of Ibiki Morino and my oringal character Ko as much as I have enjoyed writing it. For my fellow Ibiki fans out there, don't worry, he gets lots of screen time. ;)

Thanks for reading.

~Zaera

It is rated Mature for graphic violence, adult themes, and Anko's potty mouth. ^^

Naruto and associated characters, places and ideas do not belong to me. I'm simply another fan in love with the series.

Without further ado: Learning to Live, Learning to Love

A single droplet of blood slipped from the leafy forest canopy, attempting an escape to the dirt below. Unsuccessful, it met with the solitary form of an ANBU operative. The bead of blood left a trail down ANBU's stark mask and was lost in the shadows.

The foreign ninja the fluid bled from had finally succeeded in leaving a mark on his foe.

The ANBU lifted a pale hand to her mask and wiped the offending mark from the surface. The blood glistened on her fingertips in the moonlight. Her eyes gazed out from behind her bone white mask, transfixed on the colour. The forest sounded dead, and she did not move again while the silence persisted.

The chatter of insects and the usual soft noises of the night slowly returned to the quiet forest. The Land of Fire's nocturnal habitants had either fled the area or hidden with the first signs of battle, but the danger came and went with nary a sound but the muffled cries of dying spies, strangled by the ribbons they had carelessly confused with the natural foliage.

The lifeless bodies of her enemies lay haphazardly amongst the branches above the ANBU. Her flawless technique gave a swift death to Konoha's foes. They had never stood a chance.

Finally shifting from her position, the ANBU lowered her hand and gently pulled up a tight black sleeve from her opposite arm, revealing her pale skin. A ribbon shot out from her hair and left five clean cuts across her upper forearm. The blood ran from the cuts on her skin, pooling amongst the tissue of hundreds of delicate scars. In truth, every one of her past foes had left a mark.

Another mission was complete.

The ANBU turned toward the ninja village from which she came, and started walking. Another mission completed only meant another mission was to be assigned. There was no need to rush towards another meeting with Death.

Tsunade sat at her desk with her forehead resting against her hands. An enigma stood silently before her. If she had not known otherwise, Tsunade would have thought the ninja in front of her was dead. Not even her light breathing was noticeable. No sign; No slight quirk or unique posture to give anything away. There was no body language to read on the Panther. Perhaps the lack of anything personable was a sign in itself. ANBU's Panther truly was the perfect killer. For this reason, she was one of Konoha`s secret, sent out to do the bloodiest of tasks.

So why, then, did Tsunade find herself in this situation? There was no way to agree to such a request without knowing anything about the woman before her.

The Hokage lowered her hands and fixed her eyes on the solitary ninja before her. "Why would such a highly regarded ninja such as yourself ask this?" she asked, hard voice unsuccessfully piercing the persona before her.

The Panther stood motionless, and the Hokage waited.

Getting no response, the Hokage sighed. "Sit," she said, motioning to a chair in front of her desk.

The ANBU did not move. The only tell tale sign that any life flowed through her veins came from the blood occasionally dripping off the tips of the ninja's fingers.

Had it been any other ninja, Tsunade would have already batted the woman`s head into the wall for such blatant insubordination. The Panther had her in a bind. The ANBU had never questioned an order before, and it made the Hokage extremely weary to push the icy woman until she understood the situation. Konoha did not want this woman as an enemy, so she would be patient for now.

Tsunade folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair, her brows knitting together. "Fine. Tell me why you haven't attended to your injury." At this point Tsunade was hardly expecting an answer, so she was surprised when a soft voice answered her:

"It will scar."

Tsunade blinked. "If you had a medic help you, it could easily heal without any mark."

"It needs to scar."

"I'm not following." The corners of Tsunade's mouth twisted unpleasantly.

"I need the scar," the woman insisted, voice breaking from lack of use.

Pulling in a deep breath the Hokage leaned forward, eyes narrowing. She was really going to need a drink after this conversation. "Alright, fine. You seem adamant about that. So tell me, then, does this have anything to do with your request?" Tsunade saw nothing unusual about the woman - well, beyond her inability to seem like a living person - so the wound was the only lead she had to work with.

The ANBU twitched and looked down at her arm.

Finally, Tsunade thought, shoulders relaxing a bit. I'm getting somewhere.

Pulling up her sleeve, the ANBU revealed a series of thin slashes across her arm. The number of scars was uncountable, and they seemed to continue beyond the hem of the material. Her wrist was smeared with blood from the most recent additions. A pale hand gently ran across the wounds, but the ninja gave no reaction to any pain.

The Hokage had to hold back a shudder. "Why?" she demanded, her voice a harsh whisper.

"When they heal, I'm out of space" the ANBU replied simply, attention remaining on her bloodied arm.

Tsunade's fists met with the wooden surface of her desk, making the structure shudder with the impact. "Enough of this! If you want me to accept your resignation, then I want answers that make sense!"

Slowly, the ANBU turned her masked face to toward the Hokage, arms falling limp at her sides. "I killed for the first time when I was six. It was my first mission. That was two decades ago. This mission is my last." With a movement quicker than could be seen by human eyes, the Panther's mask was cut from its bindings and fell, shattering on the floor. "I'm done," the woman said, her voice barely audible.

For the first time, Tsunade saw the face of the village's most reliable tool. Pale skin was framed by thick, tied-up black hair. The skin, Tsunade noted, was marred in the same pattern as the woman's arm, forcing her to wonder if the faint scars covered the kunoichi's entire body. Even the multitude of the ANBU's scars was nothing compared to the expression she found herself caught inside. Dark, striking eyes met Tsunade's without wavering, but they were not angry or resentful as the older woman had expected. Instead they held years of barely contained pain and anguished fatigue beyond anything she had ever seen in the haunted eyes of a ninja.

Tsunade was forced from her thoughts, by a scroll thrust out in front her. She took the scroll from the scarred woman without a word.

"You have no reason to worry about my loyalties, Hokage-sama. I won't be leaving the village." With that, the former-panther wove her hand signs and disappeared, leaving the bewildered Hokage alone at her desk.

Tsunade massaged the bridge of her nose. "I know you've been watching, Morino. Get your ass over here and start talking."

Ko dropped her gear on the empty coffee table in her living room. The room itself held little else beyond the small table and a few other pieces of unused furniture. Perhaps now that her duties as a ninja had been laid aside, she would be able to make her apartment into an actual home. She desperately wanted to be able to mingle and connect with the citizens of the city and create a life of her own. There had never been time for other people in her life, only gruelling training and blood filled missions.

She had hardly spoken to anyone aside from the Hokage, her commander and a scattering of squad members. Even those conversations had been purely mission related. There had to be more in life than what she had experienced. Now that there were no obligations to bind her or dictate her life, she felt a bit uneasy. Even so, it was hardly enough to change her mind. The nightmare she had been living could finally be left behind.

Pulling a small scroll from her pocket, she gently placed it beside her belongings on the table. Then she placed her hands together and closed her eyes as her fingers deftly morphed from one sign to the next. She had worked on the jutsu for years, and knew it would be successful. When she completed it, no details of her missions would remain in her mind, and her chakra would be sealed. She would be a bloodstained weapon of Konoha no longer.

The final sign came together and without a moment of hesitation, the sealing words left her mouth.

An ache in her back alerted Ko to her waking state. She groaned weakly, wondering how she had fallen asleep. Sunlight met her blurry eyes, and she rubbed them wearily. Her dark brows shot up when she realised she had fallen asleep between her couch and coffee table. Rather awkwardly too, she thought, rubbing at her back as she sat up. Ko had no recollection of what she was doing prior to falling asleep. She remembered talking with the Hokage, but about what, she could not recall. Absently running a hand through her long, matted hair, she searched for a lump. Her memories seemed a bit jumbled, so maybe she had hit her head. "Silly for a ninja", she muttered.

Her hands abruptly stopped their search, when she came to that sudden realisation: she was a ninja. The simple knowledge that she had been a ninja her whole life struck her like one of the Tortoise's fists, because she found she did not hold a single memory of doing anything ninja related. How did she even know the ANBU ninja called Tortoise could throw a nasty punch? Wide-eyed, she jumped to her feet and searched the room frantically. There had to be a clue somewhere. It was a few very long moments before her eyes fell on a scroll sitting on the table in front of her. The sealed document felt familiar in her hands as she carefully lifted it from the surface. Her breathes became fast, and her stomach twisted in her gut. Breaking the wax seal, she found a short letter signed with her own name:

The memories of your ninja life have been sealed along with your chakra.

Live a life that will make you happy, and be at peace knowing that the first

painful chapter of your life has ended. The memories of the past will no

longer haunt you.

~ Ko.

A sudden and incredible sensation of relief flooded her body. She sunk into her couch and laid her head against its soft surface. Still clutching the letter, she rested her hands against her face. Even though she had no memory of her missions over the last twenty years, she knew it was their absence that allowed her to feel lighter than she had in her entire life. The heavy burden had been lifted, and she could breathe again.

People scurried off the street and huddled around corners. Crowds parted so fast it was as though an electric current had run through and caused them to jump aside. Children clutched onto trembling mothers and fathers. Only one man could cause such a terrifying reaction, especially when he was angry. No, not just angry. Ibiki Morino was beyond angry. He was frustrated and annoyed that the truth had eluded him for so many years. As the head of ANBU, and of Interrogations in Konoha, he was a master at seeing truths that others overlooked. He was supposed to be able to look right through the woven tapestry of lies that every ninja created about them. He had believed that the Panther was just another emotionless killer, likely brainwashed from an early age by parents obsessed with the success of their clan and the strength of their village. It would not have been the first time he had seen it happen. There had been countless men and women belonging to ANBU that had long since lost any emotional connection to the other people that inhabited Konoha. The Panther had never shown any sign of being different. In many ways, it was ideal for the horrific - and justly secretive - missions for which the ANBU were responsible.

With no questions asked, no hesitations, the Panther did her job, and no one doubted her for a second – including him. Knowing what she was capable of accomplishing, he had often sent her out solo on the most dangerous of missions, with no doubt she would return successful. She had showed no adverse psychological or emotional changes. He had always attributed the scars to some event prior to his promotion as ANBU's commander. There were no records of such an injury, but the faded marks were far from recent. Apparently the fresher injuries were in less visible locations, such as under the woman's sleeves.

She had fooled them all. Whatever her reasons, she had hid herself, and he had been none the wiser.

It did not take long for Ibiki to find himself before the door of the Panther's apartment. This was one of the advantages to being the head of the Black Ops. There was very little that he did not know about Konoha, and what he didn't know, he could easily find out. This included the Panther's address. Bringing up a rough hand, he rapped his knuckles on the door before him.

The Panther had not returned to headquarters after speaking with the Hokage, and as there were no places the woman frequented, her home was the most probable place to find her. He wanted answers, and this was the best place to begin his search. Then again, he had already been made a fool by said woman. It would not surprise him to have it happen again.

To his satisfaction, he was not kept waiting long. The door swung open, and he found himself glaring into dark inquisitive eyes. The man had seen the faces of all his operatives, including the Panther's. Now, that very same woman seemed like a complete stranger. The blank expression he was accustomed to seeing was gone. In its place was a face of expressive cheerfulness and a gaze filled with burning curiosity. As he watched, the woman tipped her head to one side, eyes narrowing as she examined his intimidating, black-clad form. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when she motioned for him to wait. He almost lost his usual angry facade and nearly gaped when the women bit down on her fisted hand, face tight with concentration.

This was not the woman he knew. Certainly not the woman he thought he had known.

In an instant, her face lit up with recognition. "Morino-san!" she exclaimed, startling him with a beaming smile. "My apologies. It took a moment to place the face. Memories are a bit hard to sort through with so many missing pieces."

Missing memories? Was all the odd behaviour a result of a hit to the head? An unaccounted for jutsu? That could not be. He had asked Kakashi to secretly examine her with his sharigan after she had left the Hokage's complex. He had said nothing was out of the ordinary as far as enemy jutsus.

"I suppose you're here for a reason, Morino-san? Please come in!" The woman spun on a heel and bounded back into her home, her voice floating back behind her . "I'm not home very often, so I don't have much to offer, but I think I have some tea leaves somewhere . . ." Her voice became muffled as she disappeared behind the counter separating her kitchen and living room.

Ibiki was left standing in the doorway, arms folded crossly over his taunt chest. He did not think Tsunade was going to like the information he would be bringing back. He was lost in thought when the woman's voice caught his attention again. It seemed she was scolding him - him, Ibiki Morino.

"What are you still standing out there for? You're going to let a draft in. It's cold this time of year!"

Yes. She was scolding. Unbelievable.

"Not all of us have a big leather trench coat to keep us warm, you know," the woman finished, popping up from behind the counter with a severely dusty tin of tea.

Ibiki stalked into the house, kicking off his sandals and then booting the door closed behind him. He would play nice for now. Besides, no interrogating was going to be happening while he was outside. He found a lone arm chair in the living room and sat down, only to be rewarded with a magnificent cloud of dust. When was the last time someone had sat here? Had she ever even had a guest before? He silently watched as the woman blew dust out of an equally under-used tea kettle, filled it with water and placed it on a warming stove top. Coming back to the living room, she plopped herself down on the couch opposite her commander and tucked her legs under her chin, bare toes wiggling over the edge of the couch cushion.

"So, what can I do for you, Morino-san?"

"I want some answers," he replied bluntly.

"About...?" Ko raised an inquisitive brow.

Ibiki's eyes narrowed. "No games. You're my best ninja. Tell me what's going on."

"I'm not sure I can really answer that, Morino-san," she replied softly, gaze falling as she traced a finger over her scarred feet.

Ibiki leaned forward, teeth glued tightly together. "You of all people should understand the seriousness of this situation," he hissed, watching as the woman fiddled with her toes. He could feel frustration churning in his gut. This was not the type of situation even he was used to dealing with. The pieces of the puzzle he had were not making sense. In fact, it would take time before he was convinced they were even part of the same puzzle. She was his most reliable subordinate, and she was withholding information. It was beginning to feel a bit personal. Great. That's very professional, he wordlessly berated himself. If she decided to betray ANBU – to betray the village . . . "One way or another I will-" he started, only to be stopped yet again by a simple hand gesture.

"Morino-san," she said simply, with a shake of her head. Reaching a hand across the low table in front of her, she pushed a scroll toward the man.

The glowering man stood up, casting a long shadow across the room. Bending over, he snatched the scroll from the table with his leather covered hands. His long coat whipped about him as he turned away to open the scroll.

It was truly amazing how a few scratched out words could have such an enormous impact. No games. She could not have been more serious.

Slowly, he rolled up the scroll and returned it to the table. He would need to have someone confirm the memory loss, but if the letter was truthful, then he really had been wrong about her - so immensely wrong. How could he have possibly missed it?

Looking back to the woman, he was met with a dour expression.

"It must have been dreadful if I wanted to forget it," she said, before he could ask. "Beyond what's in the scroll, I don't know how much I can tell you. Besides a few people, I don't remember anything about being a ninja." She dropped her forehead to her knees, blocking out his visual confrontation.

Ibiki looked at the curled up woman and considered his options. The situation had taken a rather unfortunate turn, but as a master of interrogation, he knew that a lot could still be learnt. Glancing around the virtually empty room, he concluded that the answers would certainly have to come from within her. Even if she could not directly reveal the information, he could still find the root of the cause. If her personality remained whole, then he had no doubt he would get his answers. He would just have to take the time to get to know the woman. His attention was drawn back to the woman when the kettle began to whistle causing her to leap from the couch. Chakra sealed or not, he saw she was still incredibly graceful.

"Well, at least I can make us some tea," she exclaimed with a laugh, gloomy look cast aside.

Ibiki gave her a puzzled expression. "At least?" Wait, the Panther laughs?

"Well, all I have in the cupboards are nutrition bars. Never really had the time to learn how to cook."

"If you're no longer taking missions, what do you plan on doing?" Ibiki asked. He wasn't sure she could even function with no . . . civilian skills. He saw her shrug as she dumped some tea leaves into a tea pot and reach for the kettle. He seriously hoped she had cleaned the dust out of the pot as well.

She shrugged, not answering. "There should be some cups in the cupboard,?" she said instead, apparently not sure if there were or not. She motioned towards a cupboard behind her. Was she asking him to do the searching?

A little annoyed by her casual and presumptuous behaviour, he still found himself moving into the kitchen. Opening the cupboards, he found boxes full of nutrition bars. "You were serious?" he muttered, rummaging behind the packages. Finally, he found a couple of tea cups shoved in the back. Did the woman even live in her apartment? He had a brief image of the ninja sleeping standing up in the ANBU headquarters flash through his mind. Maybe not then. "You don't seem to remember me well enough to be afraid of me," he stated with a frown, putting the cups down by the tea pot and closing the cupboards. Not that she had ever shown fear before, but now the circumstances were different.

Ko set the recently emptied kettle down and turned toward him, leaning up against the stove. "Why should I be afraid of you? I have more memories of you than anyone else I know."

"If I'm not mistaken, you have very few acquaintances, so you can't possibly base your opinion on that," Ibiki countered.

"I guess you're right, but I'm still not scared of you," she said with a defiant glint in her eyes.

"Hrmph. So you feel secure around a powerful ninja, even with your chakra sealed?" he queried. I should add, 'notably sadistic' to that, he thought with a smirk.

"Having my chakra sealed doesn't change who you are," she stated. "I just know that I can trust you. I remember that much." She picked up the tea pot and cups and headed back into the living room, having none of his posing.

Ibiki followed her, shaking his head at her absurd reasoning. Everyone was afraid of him. With her chakra sealed and no ability to protect herself, she should be at least a little bit intimidated by him. After all, it was part of his job to scare people. Sometimes he could get information out of people with a single look - no words, no threats, and just one pant-wetting glare. Since the death of the Third, he had even upped the ante of his fearsome persona, so any civilian and most ninja would have to be afraid. Seating himself back in the dusty armchair, he questioned the woman again, "What are you going to do now? You never answered me."

Ko was silent as she poured the tea and handed the man a cup. She took the remaining cup and cradled it in her hands as she walked passed him to stand by the front windows. "I've lived in Konoha my entire life, but I know very little about the people who live here. I don't want this city to only be where I live. I want it to be my home." She lifted a hand and gently placed her fingers on the dusty pane.

He sat silent, hoping she would continue, but he was to be disappointed. Her mind seemed to have wandered out to the city below her windows, her expression full of longing. Weighing his odds, he decided he was unlikely to get any more information out of her today. The last thing he wanted was to outstay his welcome and have her close herself off. He looked down at his tea sceptically, but drank it anyway - probably against his better judgement. Fortunately, the tea only tasted a bit dusty. It could have been worse.

Rising from his seat, Ibiki set the cup down and moved to retrieve his sandals by the door. "I'll let you be for today, but I'll be back to check up on you soon. Eventually I'll be bringing you to the hospital. There are a few tests I need them to run." With a nod in farewell, he let himself out before the woman could voice the words forming on her lips. He needed to report the turn of events to Tsunade. For his sake, he hoped she had not dipped into her sake yet. He was not about to give up, but the loss of the Panther would be a major blow to Konoha.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please return for chapter 2!

Also, reviews, thoughts, comments: it's all welcome! ;)