"I believe this is called Thiefshipping," said Bakura.

"You believe WHAT is called WHAT?" asked Marik.

"Thiefshipping," said Bakura. "It's the concept of the two of us being attracted to each other and then having sex with each other. Often times, during the sex, knives and blood are involved. I like knives."

"The two of us...hey, I told you, I'm not effing gay!" said Marik defensively.

"Oh, come on, you're really not fooling anyone. Besides, my gaydar led me directly to you. How do you explain that?" said Bakura.

"Oh, the gaydar that you use because you're secretly very lonely?" Marik shot back.

"I, uh, said that out loud, didn't I?" said Bakura.

"Yes, you did," said Marik. There was a pause. "So...what exactly are you saying here, Bakura?"

Marik sounded intrigued, so instead of telling him, Bakura decided to show him. He advanced on Marik and locked him in a tight embrace. When Bakura started kissing him, Marik didn't resist. Bakura smiled against Marik's lips, and Marik began kissing him back. Soon, they were having a heated kissing session in the middle of the alley.

It didn't take long for them to decide to head over to Bakura's house. So, the two of them ended up in Bakura's bedroom, continuing what they'd started.

"Oh, Bakura! Your skin feels so smooth, and your hair is so soft and fluffy!"

"Shut up and kiss me, you idiot," said Bakura.

So Marik did. The two of them writhed against each other, hands exploring each others' bodies, their clothes gradually coming off. No knives were involved...yet. But Bakura certainly showed Marik a good time. Several times, in fact.

Afterwards, the two of them were lying together, naked bodies intertwined. Marik was running his fingers through Bakura's hair. "Mmm, so fluffy," Marik murmured. Bakura was gently rubbing Marik's back. Marik really hadn't figured Bakura for a cuddler, but there it was.

"You know, you're quite affectionate after you've had a good lay," said Marik. "I think you're fluffy on the inside and on the outside."

"If you ever call me fluffy in public, I will kill you where you stand," said Bakura.

"Not in public? So it's alright if I call you fluffy in private, then?" asked Marik. Bakura growled in response...but he didn't say that Marik couldn't call him fluffy in private. "Alright, Fluffy," Marik said.

Bakura made a show of grabbing Marik, flipping him over, and biting down on his neck. But he still didn't tell Marik not to call him Fluffy in private. Secretly, Bakura kind of liked the pet name...but he certainly wasn't about to tell Marik that. Marik understood and laughed gently. "Ready to go again, Fluffy?" asked Marik.

Bakura was.

After they were finally finished, Bakura shook his left arm a bit and winced in pain. "Damn it, Marik, my arm is sore from reaching around to get you off so many times," he said.

"Ha! You've got wanker's cramp!" said Marik. Marik looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hey, that gives me a great idea for a scheme to destroy Yugi and his stupid friends!"

Bakura was not happy about having wanker's cramp, but he had to admit that Marik's plan wasn't too bad. He also had to admit that it was better to have gotten wanker's cramp by doing Marik than by doing himself. Things definitely could have been worse.

Hello, loyal fangirls. This is Bakura. I thought that you yaoi fangirls would enjoy an account of how Marik and I began our "partnership," so I kindly decided to type it up for you. I do love my fangirls. Do you know why I love yaoi fangirls so much? Because rabid yaoi fangirls are so crazy that they make ME look sane.

Also, I wrote this story for Marik. You all know how much he loves reading yaoi. I've already shown it to him, and he seemed to like it. He was definitely...appreciative, if you know what I mean.

Speaking of Marik, apparently he'd like me to write about the first time he told me that loved me. Well, you see, the idiot was trying to get me to sing some ridiculous song along with him and Yugi and those other wankers, and

Greetings, foolish fangirls. This is Marik. I've just forcibly shoved Bakura away from the keyboard, and he's currently giving me a death glare. Apparently, if I want this effing story told correctly, I'll have to tell it myself. I am not an idiot, and "Come Sail Away" is not a ridiculous song. Styx is an excellent band! Bakura is reading over my shoulder right now, and he's informing me- again- that it's a good thing I'm pretty, or he'd have to kill me. Well, it's a good thing Bakura likes to make me come so often; otherwise, I'd have to use my Millennium Rod to make that fluffy head of his explode. Anyways, I will be writing the story now.

Marik, along with Yugi and several of Yugi's friends, were all singing "Come Sail Away," by Styx, which is an excellent song by an excellent band. Marik was attempting to get Bakura to sing with him, but Bakura refused. Bakura said there was nothing that Marik could do that would make him sing. Marik offered to give him a dollar if he sang, but Bakura said no. Marik offered to make Bakura president of the Evil Council, offered to give Bakura his Millennium Rod, and even offered to kill Yugi, but Bakura still said no.

Then, Marik said, "What if I told you I love you?"

"What?" Bakura said.

Marik quickly started singing the song again. Once Marik finished his verse, Bandit Keith sang, and then Hair Guy sang. When Marik started singing again, Bakura finally joined in, and the two finished the song together.

Bakura didn't mention Marik's confession immediately, but the next time he and Marik were alone together, he asked about it.

"So, did you mean it when you said that you love me?" asked Bakura, smirking.

"Uh..what? Um..." Marik stammered, obviously embarrassed. Marik really hadn't meant to say that he loved Bakura; it had just kind of slipped out.

"Well?" asked Bakura.

"Silence! I don't have to answer such questions!" snapped Marik.

"Oh? And why wouldn't you want to answer?" asked Bakura, raising an eyebrow. Bakura thought he already knew the truth, but he wanted to hear it.

Marik leaned in and kissed Bakura, hoping desperately to distract him. Bakura kissed him back for a moment, but he soon broke the kiss. He wouldn't be deterred that easily. "That's not an answer," said Bakura.

Changing tacks, Marik tried, "Don't you think we should be discussing more important things, such as how to defeat Yugi Moto?"

"This is more important than plans to defeat Yugi...and I never thought I'd say that," said Bakura. "Now tell me...did you mean it?"

"Bakura...don't make me say it..."

Bakura leaned in and rested his head on Marik's shoulder. "Why do you think I started singing the song with you?" he said quietly.

"What?" asked Marik in confusion.

Bakura wrapped his arms around Marik. "Idiot," he breathed. "You stupid idiot. I feel the same way."

Marik gasped in surprise. "You do?"

Bakura was silent.

"Well?" said Marik.

"I asked first," said Bakura.

Marik sighed in resignation, then relaxed against Bakura and returned his hug.

"I love you, Bakura."

"I love you, too, Marik."

Hello, faithful fangirls. This is Bakura again. So now, thanks to Marik, you all know that I...well, it doesn't need to be repeated. However, just because I have a soft spot for a certain effeminate Egyptian, don't go thinking that means I'm any less villainous. I am a force to be feared, and you'd better not forget it. Remember, I once killed a puppy. It wasn't as cute as Marik.

When I'm not killing puppies, I like to promote fanfiction authors. Well, I'm doing it right now, aren't I, Marik? Anyways, you should review this story. Do as I say, fangirls! Marik says to tell you that his rod commands it. Unfortunately, I don't think that many of my fangirls are named Steve.

OK, Marik has started doing things to me that make it very difficult to concentrate on typing, so I have to go and...well, I'm sure that you yaoi fangirls can use your imaginations to figure out what's about to happen.