A/N: I am so sorry for the unexceptionally long wait! It's really pathetic... I'm sorry! ;) I've been battling with so-called writers block, fear of entirely ruining the characters and of course wondering... what the hell am I doing? I have no business writing! Thank you so much for all your words of encouragement, and reading this story! You all blow my mind. I love all the reviews, faves and alerts... each one feels like winning the lottery! It's an amazing feeling! I want to thank all those "are you ever going to update? PM's and of course What If 12, for your persistance and springing me out of my funk!
*So please excuse any errors... this is the unedited version! I just wanted to post something for you!
Regresar
That night I experienced something I had believed not possible- dinner with my family. Peeta along with Rory and Vick had prepared a feast for all of us to enjoy. Peeta had filled in an empty space I left behind. He became their pseudo older brother. I really never had the chance to teach them how to hunt. Yet Peeta somehow was able to teach them how to bake.
My sweet Posy. Abandoning her all this time is unforgivable. Rory and Vick are somewhat able to understand why I was gone for so long. Posy, she'll only remember while I was never home, Peeta was making her cookies and teaching her how to make "Posy's Perfect Pancakes." I know I shouldn't be selfishly mad towards him. I can't help it though. I seem to have regressed back to my adolescent mind since returning home. Honestly, I can see how they all helped each other. The kids may have not fought in battle, but they did have to fight to survive. Them all being there for one another is a beautiful thing. I only regret that I have excluded myself from the family all this time.
We spent the rest of days going through the normal routine. Well sort of normal. I only had one day of being under the radar. Mom told me about her new job as the district's new registrar. So she pretty much knows everybody and everything about district 12. Rory spent most of his time hanging out with friends, the family and studying. I'm still proud of his determination. Posy loved her escort to class each day. I loved our time spent together and learning all about my new older Posy. She and I both loved shopping. Posy loved the new clothes, and I loved the way her face light up when she would try on each new piece. Her brightest smile actually came from the fabric store, after she picked out the fabric to make her own dresses. I still can't believe my Posy is old enough to sew her own clothes!
I'm worried about how Mom and Posy will be after we all leave. Rory has to go back to school in Four. I have to return to District 2 for work. As a new flight cadet, Vick is heading back with me. I can admit at least they will have Katniss and Peeta…
Vick finished up his last classes and took his final tests. We were all there at the ceremony to see him get his diploma. Katniss and Peeta somehow even managed to draw old Haymitch Abernathy to our dinner celebration that night. We were all having a great time. Laughing, and just enjoying each other's company. In true Gale Hawthorne fashion, out of nowhere a shit storm arrived.
My communicuff kept sending me alerts, even after I repeatedly ignored them. Until Sgt. Kyran finally came inside and explained the message was a level 4 alert. Once he interrupted the party, all eyes remained warily unmoved from me. I even heard Rory mumble "Gale's cock-blockers always ruin the fun." While Peeta and Vick laughed in agreement.
When I excused myself from dinner to go outside to make the call, the look on Katniss face brought memories flooding to the surface. It's the same look she gave me that last night we were together, after I handed her the bow… Walking out the door, I could feel I was letting her down again. Thankful mother was reiterating the fact that I am now the General of Panem and some things are just beyond my control.
"Oh my! Level 4 alert… that sounds serious!" I heard her exclaim as I walking outside. Hazelle Hawthorne always knows how to redirect the focus.
A level 4 alert is serious. It comes directly under President Paylor. Which means it's only a few select people can authorize it. I retrieved the security case from Sgt. Kyran; to use the secure mobile line. The message on my communicuff provides the number for me to dial.
"General?" The familiar voice on the other line asks.
"Hello Frankie, decide to cut your vacation short?"
"Oh yes… Life's just too hard without your gorgeous face every day!"
I let out a long sigh. I love working with Frankie. She's fun to work with and together we seem to be able to conquer the world. But hearing her voice reminds me of Madge. How could she hide Margarita Thorne… an intern of her husband, Mr. Carter from me all this time? Surely she had to have known the truth?
Frankie must have picked up on the silence and put it together. "Oh… You met the real Margarita Thorne didn't you?" The way she said it sounded like she just bit down on a sour lemon. I can just picture her face wrinkling up as she says it.
"Yes Frankie" I let out another exasperated sigh. "What the hell? I don't understand. Did you know the whole time?"
"Gale… Listen this is not really the time to be talking about this. But, yes I knew she was from district 12 and chances were great that you knew her. However I'm not your match maker. I'm your assistant. Besides whatever it is… it's between you two. And if I know you like I think I do… well you probably didn't give her a chance to tell her whole story. Otherwise we'd be having a different conversation right now. Am I right?"
I let her words stew for a minute. Even miles away and over the phone, Frankie is still my voice of reason. "You're right, I'm sorry Francis" I offer. "I guess I've just buried myself with work for so long now, that dealing with family is bringing out a different side of me."
"That's not really a bad thing. You may be General Hawthorne or Panem's Most Eligible Bachelor some days, but underneath those titles you are still just human. You are allowed to act out and be selfish every once in a while. As for family… why do you think I stay most of the time in district 2, while my husband stays back home in district 1? Frankie asks with her booming laugh.
"Thanks Frankie."
"Now, how soon can you get to One?"
"What? I can't leave yet."
"There is an inquisition that is being held in three days here in district 1. As you are aware, Mr. Carter and his group of associates have received an inquisition for travel… abroad. Apparently communication signals have been received from beyond Panem."
I just got here and I can't leave yet. Not when things between Katniss and me are not straight yet. I feel like we've only scratched the surface our relationship.
"Gale… You really have to be here. This is a military issue." She hesitates for a moment, "It is believed to have been some sort of military code used in the communication."
Shit. "Okay. I will be there."
"Good. I will get all your hotel and transportation arrangements made for your stay here in district 1. When you first arrive, you will have to go straight to the inquisition. This is a business trip; however we will be celebrating Mr. Carter's birthday while you're here. Would you like to wear a tuxedo or your suit?"
"A tuxedo will work."
"Wonderful, I will forward you all reservations and your itinerary." Frankie adds, "I'm always on your side General. Just try to remember how the war has changed your life. Not everybody's was as favorable. See you in three days."
What the hell just happened? I just agreed to cut my trip short with the family to get back to work. Favorable? What the hell is so favorable? Yes I did move from an enslaved miner from the Seam to becoming the General of the military for all of Panem. I can see how that appears favorable. Yet every action involves consequences: My life constantly being exploited. Complete isolation from the utter lack of privacy. Living in Two, miles away from my family and missing them daily. And no matter what I do… still being referred to as the Mockiningjay's cousin!
I know she's dropping a subtle hint about Madge. Her odds seem pretty favorable. She escaped Twelve and the bombing unscathed that night. Now she's some hot shot fancy lawyer, living in district 1… just like any daughter of a district mayor would be living.
Ugh! I need to get back to the party and quit thinking about Madge. The mere thought of her just gets me fired up.
I walk through the door, and all eyes are on me. Their faces all look prepared for some form of let down or another. Only Posy is smiling at my return. At least she was able to keep all her innocence through everything. Katniss won't even look my direction, while Peeta holds her hand under the table.
"I'm sorry. I have to cut the trip short… we are leaving tomorrow." I say facing Rory and Vick sitting on the same side of the table.
"Oh! So soon? Wait! All you boys can't leave us" replies Mom with the most heart wrenching plea in her voice.
"Ma!" Vick retorts "Gale is the General now. He wouldn't just leave if it wasn't important. It's not like we are leaving and never coming back." Vick has managed to get everyone's undivided attention. "Rory is almost finished with school and we need a good doctor here in Twelve. Gale is only a TV or newspaper away. And you know once I'm finished with flight school, I want to be stationed here at home. My chances are pretty good with my brother being the General in all. Plus the medicinal factory needs transportation… It's practically guaranteed."
"You're right Vick. I am so sorry. I really don't want any of you boys to feel guilty for leaving the house. I'm so proud of every one of you!" She says as she looks to everyone at the table. "Peeta, Katniss… I'm proud of you two as well. We have a lot to be thankful for in this house. We are just one big family and I love all of you." She smiles and turns looking me directly in the eyes, "hurry home."
With one phone call, the whole atmosphere of the room changed. It reminds me of the last time I was with my family. The night before 451 left for the Capital. The look in mother's eye, told me she was scarred I wasn't coming back. Only now she says it out loud…because now not only am I leaving, but I'm taking Rory and Vick with me too.
"He's coming right back" interrupts Haymitch and all eyes were on him. "And if anything we can take the hovercraft… anytime we want." He says looking right at Katniss, causing her blush to rise and small smile to spread across her lips. It's such a beautiful sight. I don't even remember the last time I saw her smile. Our wisely disguised district 12 mentor has managed to calm the crowd and get everyone back to dinner.
After dinner, Posy handed out individually decorated cookies to each of us. Her eyes gleamed with anticipation as she waited for each our reactions. Watching her light up with her sweet innocence, reminds me that all was not lost during the war. My eyes fan across room, locking on a familiar grey reflection. "I'm sorry," I mouth to her. She shrugs her shoulders and replies with a meek smile.
"Katniss!" exclaims Posy, receiving Katniss's full attention. "I made this cookie especially for you!"
A genuine smile breaks across her face, "Oh Posy, It's beautiful! Thank you."
Posy looks over her shoulder to where Peeta, Rory and Vick are sitting. "Peeta showed me how to make the flower." She giggles like she just divulged a big secret.
"Well… my apprentice is telling trade secrets," laughs Peeta with mock shock on his face.
Posy with all sweet innocence has lifted the mood in the room. Rory and Vick go with Haymitch to help fix the new pen he made to keep his geese in. Katniss, Mother and Posy head to the kitchen to clean up after dinner and make some tea for later. It's a nice early summer night in district 12, so Peeta and I go outside to sit on the porch.
It's the sounds of summer outside as dark had begun to fall over district 12. The crickets chirp in melody, even the cicadas join the summer time tune. "I really miss being home," I say. "Peeta, I really want to thank you for everything that you've done for my family."
"It's really not a big deal."
"No, it is. You've helped them in more ways than you may realize. Watching you and Katniss with Ma and the kids… you've helped create a sense of a normal happy family."
"Gale, the truth is they've helped me." Peeta turns his head towards the direction of town and hesitates, "… I come from a big family too." He looks back at me, "having them here and watching Rory go to medical school, now Vick becoming a flight cadet and… Posy… she is a just a sweet little girl, curious about the world, with an entire limitless future in front of her. They remind me daily that my family, Prim and everyone that passed away, it wasn't for nothing. That everything that happened…It was for their future."
Everything that Peeta says to me, registers on so many different levels. Not only are these magnificent changes happening to my family and district 12… but it's happening throughout Panem. No more oppression, instead everyone now as a vast future within their control in front of them. "You're absolutely right… not only about their future, but the future for generations to come."
"About the future…" says Peeta. "Katniss and I having been talking a lot about our future, that's one of the reasons it's so important to not only her, but the rest of us for you to be back in our daily lives." I raise my eyebrows questioningly at him, "we know you're extremely busy as General… but we want to see more of you than just the TV." Peeta smiles, "I understand not all of us have a camera ready face," he mimics in the Capital accent.
"Yeah… it's a tough job, but someone's got to do it." I joke.
"We need you to come back soon." He smiles like the happiest man in the world, "Katniss and I would like to have our toasting… Soon," he emphasizes. "We can't do it… not without you or the rest of the people we love."
This news truly warms my heart… finally some happiness for these two. "That's great man! I am so happy for both of you." I get up and firmly plant my hand on his shoulder, "you just tell me when and I will be here."
"Thank you, it really means a lot." Says Peeta as I sit down in my chair. "We are just coordinating a time that everyone can be here." His eyes brighten as his smile beams again, "we are thinking September. The weather will be great, and everyone should be able to make it then." Peeta eyebrows raise and with a sly grin he says, "Unless I can get her to elope" he laughs. "I'm just kidding we want to share it with everyone that's important to us."
"Well, I think it's great and I wouldn't miss it for the world."
I can't help but feel my space is being infringed upon, as I look out the window and see all the intricate buildings that seem to touch the sky, as we make our decent into district 1. This place is about as Capital as it gets. With its extravagant buildings and endless sea of people, all vying for the best things within their reach, it's basically the Capital only not segregated by citizenship.
As much as I hate flying, I have to admit it's getting much easier. If I'm truly honest with myself flying with Rory and Vick probably helped most. I didn't really realize how much I really missed all of them. Even though we were just together yesterday, I miss them already.
Rory was excited to get back to district 4. He kept saying he really needed to get back to studying and class. I think he was beginning to miss his newly discovered freedom; the kind that comes when you first get out on your own.
Taking Vick to basic training was a whole new experience. He has always been my baby brother. The time I was gone, I really never thought about all them growing up. I guess I just believed that I would find them all the same as I left them. Mother had actually called me about Vick's enlistment. I was completely startled by her revelation. In my mind he was just a boy still. When I checked the recruitment list, sure enough there it was. Vick Hawthorne, standing out prominently bold over the rest.
I'm really proud of him. Hell flying… I don't understand where that ambition comes from. I know they are going to give him hell because of me in basic training, but he said he'll take it. I know he will. Thinking of him now, wearing his proud sneer on his face when they called his name for roll call, brings a smile to my face. I think him and I are more alike than I realized.
Frankie's itinerary is jam packed with every moment designated to one task. I barely had enough time to check into the hotel and get cleaned up for the inquisition today.
The elevator doors open to the 75th floor of the Thorne Blade for the inquisition. I arrive wearing my embellished class A's, with my PSD in tow for the meeting. Everyone stares at me uneasy like, as if I was strapped with a live bomb. Good… this will speed this bullshit meeting up. These uptight, sheltered pricks aren't used to dealing with brutes.
Frankie is already inside sitting at the conference table. "Good day General." She motions to the seat next to her, "Your information and things are here."
My Frankie… How I have missed her. If I didn't have my asshole reputation to uphold, I would hug her right now. I take my seat next to her and she gives me a subtle nod, meaning I know. The seats begin to fill as everyone takes their seats. I look open up the folder in front of me and start skimming over the paragraphs.
The double doors opening catch my attention. High heels tapping with each step on the marble floor cause me to look towards the noise. I see a woman with bouncing blonde curls enter the room, with two men in business suits flanked on her sides. Madge… My Madge.
"Ladies and gentleman," she looks right at me "General, thank you for coming on such short notice." She says as she takes her seat across from me. I can't peel my eyes off her. Seeing her now brings back a flood of different feelings. Her curly blonde hair reminds me of our past, the disguised unsurety in her eyes reminds me of our last encounter.
"My name is Madge Undersee," she motions to the man sitting next to her on the right, "and this is my associate, Seth Thomas."
I am stunned… Madge Undersee has returned. And I finally get to see just exactly who "complicated Seth" is. I can't believe Madge Undersee is back… What does this mean? I snap back into reality as I acknowledge she has continued talking.
"We have asked you here today to discuss some very interesting and possibly exciting news," she smiles and I can honestly feel my heart palpitate at the sight. "We have intercepted communications that are believed to be from civilizations from the opposite side of the world… A place called Oceania."
The room gasps collectively as Madge delivers this revelation. The prospect of other civilization is almost incomprehensible. We've all been kept apart from other districts within our own country. We just know been able to communicate and travel between districts. Communication outside of Panem… one cannot fathom.
"We understand from history that there was once travel and communication between all people, across the entire world. Then the Great World War ended whatever progress had been made for humanity. I understand that Panem is still building and recovery from the Rebellion, but I don't think we should ignore this opportunity." Madge says with strong conviction as she looks to all the faces in the room."
I look directly to Madge, "as for military action, we will need to address the situation and perhaps even build a naval base for possible future explorations." While looking into her eyes, it feels like the room recedes around us and we're alone. I feel my pulse accelerate and the electricity build between us…"
"General Hawthorne…," a voice interrupts my thoughts and brings me back to the moment. "Are you preparing for some sort of potential attack?" A warily woman questions me.
"No, ma'am, I am not planning for an attack. I think it would be wise to create a naval fleet, if we are considering exploring outside of Panem." I remember what Peeta had said about the future, I glance at back at the woman and look directly to Madge, "we have an entire endless future in front us… why not see what else is out there?"
Madge smiles in agreement and then quickly looks away from me. "General Hawthorne makes a really good point about our future." She smiles and glances at to all the faces of the room, looking at everyone except me. "Please look over all the information provided in the folders in front of you and we will regroup in two days. That will give everyone an ample amount of time to get familiar with the facts and we can make a collective decision."
"One more thing… Hope to see you all tonight for Mr. Carter's 50th birthday party."
"Yes" "it's a surprise… he has no idea!" Frankie declares prominently with her peculiar accent, "can't wait to see you all there."
"That concludes everything. This inquisition is adjourned." States Madge as she stands up and quickly leaves the meeting… with Complicated Seth and another intern-looking guy.
Seeing her again, reminds me of so many things I want to say to her… Mostly how sorry I am.
I generally have distaste for big Capitol-esqu parties. This party is very large. It always seems to amaze me with the more power you have the friends you acquire. This is the 50th birthday party for Mr. Carter, so I guess that over 300 people seem about right.
I'm seated at the same table as Secretary Beetee Uirlis. Frankie's secret weapon… He detours people from lingering too long. Well most people. I've been noticing blonde women out of the corner of my eye who keeps glancing in this direction. I look over and make eye contact with her. She smiles back at me and proceeds to walk over to me. She appears to be around my age. I notice she is very sure of herself as she walks towards me. She has a very nice body that is emphasized by the barely covering shimmering dress she's wearing.
"Hello General Hawthorne." She says to me, as I stand to greet her properly. I hold my hand out to meet her. She places her hand in mine and says, "Penola."
"Penola, it's nice to meet you." I reply. "Are you enjoying the party?"
She smiles big and says, "Of course I am. It's a wonderful party among friends."
I turn to my right and gesture with my hand, "Penola, this is Secretary of Engineering, Beetee Urilis." I introduce.
"Secretary, it's a pleasure." She smiles, "we've met before… oh, eons ago" she laughs.
Beetee wears a look of discomfort on his face. "Well, it's nice to meet you again in that case."
"General, I was hoping that maybe you would escort me to the dance floor? It would be such an honor to share a dance with you." Penola asks with such absolution, it's nearly impossible to say no.
"In that case, of course I will share a dance with you."
Her eyes gleam bright as she smiles big in response. Then she grabs my hands and pulls me with her towards the dance floor. There are easily a few hundred people out here on the dance floor. Maybe dancing with a beautiful lady is exactly what I needed. I almost forgot what it felt like to completely let go of all my reservations and actually have some fun. It feels so freeing.
"This is great!" I say "Penola thank you."
Penola smiles big and starts laughing, "We're just dancing General… but you're welcome."
Just as I was starting to have fun, the tempo slows down. I look towards Penola as if asking for permission. Her smile slowly fades, as she places her hand in mine. I place my opposite hand on her hip, while our dance begins to flow with the pace of the music.
"This is a great evening." I say to break up the awkwardness that seems to be brewing in the air.
"Yes. It's quite the party. What a way to celebrate a 50th birthday!" She beams.
Penola and I dance a while longer. Having short conversations during the slow songs and laughing during the fast fun paced songs. Time seems to be flying by as I actually am enjoying myself and having fun for the first time in a very long time.
The music has slowed once again and our rhythm has matched the tempo on its own. Our bodies are closer and I notice how both out hands seems to have roamed a little lower than the last dance. Although her dress leaves little to the imagination, I can admit the feel of her next to me is actually nice. I guess this is what I've been missing: another person… a beautiful woman next to me. This only makes me think of Madge… I quickly squash that thought and try to focus on the present moment.
"Attention ladies and gentleman" Sounds the DJ over a loud speaker, interrupting the dance. I immediately detach myself from Penola and step back. "Bring out the cake!" The loud voice booms. All eyes turn to the far corner of the stage, and out rolls a huge cake with intricate designs. Instantly my mind thinks of Peeta. No matter how talented they are here in One or the Capitol that has to Peeta's handiwork.
A big spot light is focused on Mr. and Mrs. Carter and that huge birthday cake. Frankie looks so happy and they are both radiating love. The voice breaks sounds over again, "Happy birthday Mr. Carter!" Then the whole place is singing "Happy birthday" in unison.
I feel something warm on my hand. I look down and Penola has engulfed my hand in hers and is pulls me away. She has led us to a little niche in the back of the room. This area seems to have been set up for little private conversation areas. There is small grouping of chairs or large benches set up precariously around. She pulls me into a secluded area. It's nice to get away from the party.
"I hope this is okay?" Penola asks questioningly, while studying my face. "I thought it would be nice if we went somewhere a little quieter."
"Yeah, this is great."
"Good… I'm glad you like it." She smiles and asks, "Can I offer you a drink?"
"That sounds wonderful," I reply.
Penola brings us back some Capital cocktails. I just take the drink it my hand...cautiously. There is no way in hell I'm drinking some bright blue concoction. I'm a beer, liquor and occasionally a wine kind of guy. She must sense my trepidation over the drink. "Oh I'm sorry. You don't like it?" She asks sheepishly.
"I try to avoid bright colors." I offer "Old hunting habit… I guess."
She smiles, "Well Of course. You are very masculine. It was silly of me to offer you something of a different taste." She says as she walks over to the bar. She comes back and hands me a glass of brown liquor over ice. "On the rocks," she says proudly. It's a nice gesture, but this little arrangement of ours is beginning to head down hill… fast.
"So Penola… Do you live here?"
"Yes, district 1 is my home."
"What do you do here in district 1?
"Oh lots of things." She says as she sits down right next to me. Her bare leg grazes over my hand resting at my side. "My life is terribly boring… nothing exciting like you're used to." She says, while she somehow turns her body towards me. I notice how intimate our position is now…
"I don't know. District 1 is pretty wild… I can't imagine it being too boring." I raise my eyebrows in response, as I turn slightly away from her. I try not to make it obvious. I don't want her or anyone else to get the wrong ideas."
"I assure you. It's boring… enough about me." Penola says as she turns completely towards me and slides her hand across my chest. Then in one fell swoop, I'm not even sure how it happened. She's straddling over my lap. I am completely stunned for a moment. This is quite the predicament I'm in. This is a very compromising position… in a very public place. I need to correct this situation before it gets out of hand or someone from the press catches this moment.
"Oh, duty calls" I say as I point to my communicuff. "You'll have to excuse me for a moment." She has a stunned look on her face, while she retreats off my lap. I stand and walk over to the restrooms that are not too far from the little alcove we're sharing. Once in the men's room I splash some cold water on face. What the hell am I doing? Penola is a very beautiful woman… I can stay here at the party and be gentleman or offer to take her somewhere with more privacy? No… I shouldn't think that. There are too many people here. The last thing I need is a big public display. Pull your head out of your ass Gale. I say to myself, while looking into the mirror.
As I open the door to exit the restroom, my communicuff sounds. I look down to read the message, as I turn to position myself in better light I accidently bump into someone. I look up from my cuff to extend an apology.
"Oh, excu… "But I'm rendered speechless and unable to finish. In one instant our eyes lock and time is momentarily froze. "Madge?" She inhales a sharp breath in a moment of complete surprise. It's my Madge, shimmering blonde hair and those piercing blue eyes that see right through me. "Excuse me, I wasn't paying attention." I say.
"It's okay… I really wasn't watching where I was going," she replies. Then the gaze of those familiar azure eyes focus back to the party. She looks very hesitant and uncomfortable is this little predicament we found ourselves in. "Well…" she begins to say as she turns her gaze away from mine.
I'm not ready for her to go, "You look beautiful tonight." Her eyes meet my own, "are you enjoying the party?" I interrupt her, but I end up sounding like a mumbling idiot. I don't know what it is about Madge, but she just does something to me. When I'm around her… it's like only she exists in the world.
Madge combs her fingers through her hair tucking the left side behind her ear. It's something I know she does when she's nervous. "Thank you." She responds with a small smile, "So do you… I mean, you look handsome."
"Thanks" I laugh, "it's the suit… it could make a porcupine looks tempting." I just want to see her smile, but instead I think I made her uncomfortable.
"I guess… something like that?" she says wearing a confused expression.
"Look Madge… about last time."
"No, don't worry about it" she interrupts me.
Her smile falls and her eyes focus on the ground between us. She looks so wounded, I just want to scoop her into my arms and protect her. "Madge… I was really rude and… just upset about things. You deserve so much more than I offered you." I hope she could understand the sincerity in my voice. Looking into her eyes I can see so many things. Hurt, resentment, fear and even anticipation. I've let her down so many times. We are probably past the point of repair between one another.
She smiles and I notice it doesn't reach her tear swelling eyes "We are different people now and have different lives. It was just one night where we reminisced on the past." She states, but we both know it's not true.
"No..." I rejoin.
"It's okay. Really, Gale I am fine." She interrupts me again, "I need to get back and I don't want to keep you from the party." She states as if a matter of fact.
There she goes… only Madge can get to me. I know she's not fine. "What? Is complicated Seth waiting for you?" I retort. "You have to hurry back to your boyfriend?" I don't mean to act so childish and wounded, it just flies out of my mouth. I don't know why I always say such scornful things to the people I love.
She lets out a defeated sigh. "I guess I deserve that…" She shakes her head saying, "It's not like that… he's not my boyfriend Gale."
"Well whatever he is… I don't want to keep anyone waiting." It sounds harsh, even though I'm really trying not to sound so mean. I turn my gaze over to where Penola is waiting.
Madge follows the direction of my gaze. She must have found something because her expression dramatically changes. "Penola?" She says her name as an acid laced question "Penola Pemberton!" Madge stomps her foot, clicking her heel on the tile floor, "Penola Pemberton… You have got to kidding me."
I'm confused, I have no idea what the hell just happened. I just stand there waiting for something to happen next. She just stares at me with a look of total disgust.
"Gale Hawthorne you are such an asshole. How could you?" She demands. "Treat me the way you did, now you're here with her."
"Madge" I say stepping forward towards her. "I don't understand… what the hell is going on?"
"What don't you understand? What part of asshole is hard to understand?" She says, while she looks like she's going to either cry or possibly kill me. "You kicked me right out of your life… and now you're with HER!" She exclaims
"Ma…" I try to say, but she interrupts me again.
"Penola Pemberton! That Capital-bred whore!" She continues her sudden tirade towards me, "you're such a hypocrite."
I'm shocked not only to hear Madge say something like that, but of the revelation too. I warily look over towards her.
Madge stomps her foot again, acquiring my immediate attention. "It's not surprising that she's going after you." Madge purses her lips and with a look of complete disgust she says, "It's disturbing that you would even talk to her, let alone…"
"Madge…" I say as I reach for her. She shakes her arm from under my hand. "I'm sorry, I don't understand… I just met her… I don't…" I'm interrupted again by her tirade.
"I don't understand you Gale! You are still mad at me for something that happened years ago… when I was young and stupid. And now, you're here with… her!"
"Madge calm down…"
"No!" She interrupts, "you don't get to tell me how to feel, Gale Hawthorne." She says as she takes her stance towards me. She folds her arms across her chest, in what appears an attempt to contain her frustration.
I interject her tirade, "Look, I just met her… here… at the party."
She's tapping her right foot impatiently as I speak. She lets out a huge exhale, "do you even know who she is?" She asks with such accusation.
"No"
"Well, I do." Madge looks directly in my eyes "in my line of work I have uncovered all the dirty little secrets of Panem." She breaks our intertwined gaze and looks over towards the direction of Penola and says, "Penola only likes the most sought after things in Panem." She looks right at me, "Panem's Most Eligible Bachelor ….Or the Playboy of Panem."
I'm taken back by the last revelation. "Finnick?"
"That's right… Penola Pemberton frequently purchased the Finnick Odair Dance Cards.
Her words linger in the air and I don't even know how to respond. Only moments ago I was dancing and actually having fun with someone who on multiple occasions violated my friend. Not just a friend but, someone who died protecting our squad, myself included. What the fuck have I done?
Dance Cards… Everyone knows what they really are. Old Coriolanus Snow used to sell the Victors to highest bidders. I can't imagine what horrors they faced while being caught up in high priced sex slavery.
Madge doesn't even look at me. She just stares over towards that direction. "It thoroughly disgusts me that she no longer wears her horrible orange wig and skin die, which clearly marked her as the evil orange pig she truly is."
I feel nothing but betrayal. I'm so grossed out with my actions. How could I actually encounter a brief moment of happiness with someone who is the very epitome of Capital scum? I just stand there, processing this influx of emotions.
"I've got to go…" Madge says as she turns and walks away.
I can't let her go right now. I need to tell her how sorry I am… for everything. "Madge, wait." I call out towards her, but she just keeps walking. I trail behind her, trying to catch up to her. "General…" I hear someone call out. I turn to look and it's her… I just look at her as the repulsive animal she truly is. She just looks back confused and I turn and keep walking towards Madge.
"Madge" I call out but it's too late. She exits out the door. I catch up to her outside in the plaza."Madge stop for a minute! Just wait one minute… please."
She finally stops and spins around towards me. "Why didn't you save me that night?" she blurts out.
I'm taken back for a moment by her question. I stop dead in my tracks, leaving a close distance between us. I'm stunned silent for a moment.
"I loved you Gale… I gave you everything I could… you promised me that we would have forever."
I can feel the hurt she must be feeling. I can feel the heaviness of her words… and I know this is the question that has been weighing on her the most.
"I…"
"No!"she doesn't let me finish. "We didn't get forever. I didn't even get a whole day with you Gale." She says as the tears begin to fall down her cheeks. "You saved half of district 12 and then went on to save Panem …." She states while shaking her head and wiping the fast falling tears with her hands. "Why couldn't you save me?"
I slowly walk towards her in a manner that I would use in approaching any wounded animal. She's right to question me. I made her promises that I couldn't keep. I helped people out of Twelve that I had never even met before, yet the woman I proclaimed to have loved… I couldn't even save.
"I looked for you Madge." I moved right in front of her enclosing the space between us. "I was right there in front of your house, watching it burn… I thought you were inside." I close my eyes while I relive the emotions of that night. "I kept looking for you, hoping that you would turn up. In the days afterwards, every time I saw blonde hair my heart would jump, thinking it would be you."
Madge takes a step back and even under the moon light I can see the hurt written all over her face.
"I'm sorry… I should've… I would have done anything to save you, Madge."
Even now she won't look at me. "Will you look at me? I'm sorry. I thought you were dead." I reach out for her hand, "this whole time… I thought you were gone."
She pulls her hand away."Well at least you got some resolution." She says with a degree of contrite lingering in her tone.
"What's that supposed to mean? I retort. "I thought you were dead… meanwhile you've been alive this whole time hiding in district 1." My words just continue to stream venom. "If you've been so wounded and pissed off at me this whole time, why did you wait so long? We practically work in the same circles… Shit! I'm the General of Panem's military… I'm not exactly hard to find!"
Madge looks up at me now. Her face reminds me of another time when she waited to follow my lead.
"I'm sorry! At least I was dead to you. I don't know why you're so upset Gale… You got everything. A better life…you even got to keep family…"
"That's not true… I didn't get to keep you." I step forward and pull her body next to mine. It feels so right to hold her like this. I hold her tight as I feel her body shake while she sobs into my chest. We stand there for a moment letting the emotions play out. She feels so fragile under my arms. I instantly regret the things I've said.
Madge's cries begin to subside. While her chest is pressed closely to mine, I can feel her breathing begin to slow down. I don't let go of her. I don't want to. I want her to know I'm sorry… for everything.
I lean down and press a gentle kiss on the top of her head. Inhaling her beautiful scent, I'm instantly reminded of an entire life I've been missing out on. "I am sorry Madge," I exhale with this realization.
She pulls her face back slowly and looks up at me. I look down and get lost in her blue eyes. I can see so many things… unanswered questions, familiar memories, regret, hurt and love. The moment my gaze is locked on hers, she looks away and steps out of our embrace.
"I can't do this… I have to go." The she turns and leaves.
I'm stunned by what just happened. "Madge wait" I call out after her, but she doesn't turn around. I just watch her disappear into the building, back to the party.
"Oh just let go… She just needs some time to cool down." I hear an approaching voice say.
I immediately turn around to see where the voice is coming from. I'm consumed with many emotions at the moment, most notably sheer irritation. This has to be complicated Seth. I don't know what to do about Madge. We can't even be together longer than five minutes before blowing up at each other. The fact that this guy is standing in front of me, telling me how to handle her… well it just pisses me off actually.
"General Hawthorne," he says extending his hand out towards me. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to officially meet you earlier. My name is Seth Thomas. I've been working with the Carter's for years. It's nice to finally meet you."
I greet him with a firm handshake. "It's nice to meet you as well. " We stand there for a moment in some sort of primal showdown.
A/N: Dance Cards is the brain child of the incredibly talented Howlynn. Please check her out! She amazingly brilliant and creative! Her stories are all amazing and wildly entertaining and unique! The title Regresar is Spanish for return... I just love the way it sounds when it rolls off your tongue!
Don't foget to check out Howlynn!
Oceania- I borrowed from George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four. I absolutely love this book! It's one of my all time faves! I highly recommend reading it. Plus it relates a lot to The Hunger Games.