Summary: Katniss and Gale in a destructive relationship after the end. Heard this song and immediately thought this up. Song-fic to Ex-Factor by Lauryn Hill. One-shot
I exhale loudly, lying on my side, facing the window. Someone sits up next to me. Someone. I feel Gale sleepily stretch, and then move to place his arms around me. I jump and he places a gentle kiss to my shoulder.
It could all be so simple
We had sex again last night. Have almost every night since he showed up that day. Mostly to chase away the demons, but I'm scared because he looks at me like he loves me and he looks at me like he needs me which is dangerous because this is Gale and if he even wants something, he takes it and he thinks he needs me and, and…
It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
He yawns, "Mmm Catnip," he says, sitting up. "Breakfast?"
He wants to play house with me. Thinks this is more than just a fuck, and I'll be the first to admit that it is. It is just more than mindless shagging because turning to look at him in the daylight, he's still the boy I met in the forest so long ago.
Loving you is like a battle
Gale and I, me and Gale, we used to be best friends. Coming into adolescence, everyone assumed we'd be married, and I'd toyed with the idea of course, but I'd been able to keep him at a distance. Somewhere along the way, the lines got blurred. And now here we are. Two people who have shared such intimate acts in the dark, and can't even look each other in the eye. Well, I'm the one with the problem and it's all my fault he's happy and I'm miserable.
And we both end up with scars
Tell me who I have to be?
The funny thing is, he's here because he wants me, needs me; but I have no idea what I want from him, or even, if he has anything to offer me.
"Katniss?" He's worried now. No one else would know it, hearing his tone though, because he sounds furious. Fawn to fox in five seconds. Leave it to Gale. I stand and retrieve my clothes from the floor, yanking them on. I'm the only one who would put up with this bullshit.
Tell me who I have to be?
To get some reciprocity
See no one loves you more than me
And no one ever will
I'm the only one who puts up with him and the one I want can't or won't put up with me so this is my reality. Everything's…
"Hello?" Christ, he sounds livid.
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't working
It ain't working
Only one thing to do. I bend to pull on my boots. "Where the fuck do you think you're going? Huh?" I march past him toward the door, I don't need this.
He grabs my arm and swings me back. "What? So, you thought you'd just turn up, get your's , and then leave!"
I find my voice. "Don't you dare go there with me! Where were you, huh?" I spit out. Gale pushes a hand through his hair, sighs dramatically. "Those first few years? Huh? Busy drowning your sorrows with Capital whores—"
"Watch your mouth!"
"You know, you pissed off, and I needed you. I needed my friend." I shouldn't have said that. I know the second it leaves my mouth and now he's feral, sends a lamp flying and pushes me back into the wall.
"Fuck you, Katniss! You're selfish, is what you are." Oh no, this again. Please not this. But, yes it is. Gale grabs up his lighter from a fallen nightstand and strides over to the bed with purpose. Me pulling at him, clawing trying to hold him back.
And when I'd try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
His rant continues. This time he's imitating my voice. "Me, me, me. I'm the Mockingjay! I'm leading the rebellion! I did it because I love that stupid, cunting town boy!"
I sink down onto the floor against the wall as sheets pillows go flying. Push my hands into my hair and stare at the floor. Oh fuck, Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. I had thought maybe he didn't know about Peeta.
Gale's ceased throwing things around the room and is perched on the window ledge. We're five floors up in this stupid new high rise they've built, where Gale lives. Fuck, I thought he didn't know about Peeta.
This is crazy
He's still fidgeting with the lighter. Flicking it on and off. On and off. He's mumbling.
"I love her. Iloveheriloveherilove…his fault."
I should call for him. Even try to talk him off the ledge. But, I just sit still. And sing softly instead.
Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me
There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me
Cry for me, Cry for me
You said you'd die for me
He peeks over his shoulder at me. Defeated and disheveled, singing into my shoes.
Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me?
Silence. Then. "Not. Without. You."
AN/ Bit more serious than my other fics, but please tell me honestly what you think. I am still fairly new to this and want to get better. Also, definitely listen to the song if you have a chance. It's beautiful, one of my favorites. Ex Factor by Lauryn Hill. Peace