Been putting off writing this for a while. Got the urge to write a response to Green Eggs and Ham around the same time as my mermaid binge. As for why, wouldn't you be pissed off having to deal with this short furry thing following you around asking you to eat something you don't want to? I certainly would be.

Disclaimer: Do not own Seuss' mad genius. That is all.

(Told from the other main character's POV)

I do not like green eggs and ham.

But just try to tell that to Sam,
And I bet, I bet you'll see the predicament whose owner I am.
You see, to any other of our race
On our planet's face,
We all understand the notion of personal space.
But not him.
Definitely not him.

He must be doing this on a whim, I decide
As I book a ticket for a train ride.
To a grand escape
I tell myself, to some grand cape
Where there will be sun on my face
And personal space
And no green eggs and ham
Or some yellow-furred creature shouting "Sam, I am."
But still, he follows undaunted
And I am haunted
By visions of rotten eggs and spoiled ham
And my chipper stalker Sam.

I will not eat it, I retort
As I await our stop at the nearest port
And snort
At the idea of eating the vile nourishment that he calls food;
That he is convinced, tastes good.

And for God's sake, why in the rain? Why a goat?
On a train or on a boat?
And for God's sake, why in the dark?
Will it change the taste of that vile concoction to something a bit more pleasing like bark?
And why with a mouse in a house?
Has he not heard of food-health standards, disease, or plague?
It's enough to make me rage!

And so I run, I flee
To the bottom of the sea
And the top of the tallest tree
To escape this little creature who is following me.
But it's no use. "Try it," is the constant decree.

By this point, I've had enough.
It's not about acting tough
Or my personality being rough.
I simply don't enjoy the taste of green eggs and ham.
Just as he is assured that he is Sam, that is just the kind of person I am.

I tell him this; tell him that I'm annoyed
With his constant little ploy
To change my tastes. I'm not his toy!
I declare with an angry, indignant air
And he sort of shrinks a little in his despair.
Oh, now I just feel terrible and the guilt is starting to eat away at me inside
Especially when he's looking at me with such hurt eyes.

"I just wanted you to try it," he says dejectedly looking over the now-cold plate
And my heart begins to break
As he rambles on about leaving me alone if I try it and I decide I've been a bit harsh—
After all, it's not like he's dragged me through a marsh—
And now I'm just feeling bad
For treating this poor soul like a cad.
And it's not as if my tastes will suddenly change—
Like the world will suddenly rearrange
And there's no harm in taking one bite
If it'll make him leave me alone and turn his smile back bright.
After all, it's not like my feelings for this vile discolored food will suddenly change willy-nilly

Because, I think to myself as I raise my fork high;
That would just be silly…