Author's Note: I am so sorry for the lack of updates. I am still alive, I promise. I have this thing where I lose inspiration and motivation for a period of time before I start writing again. I can't promise I'll update this quickly but I'll try to make it less than 2 months this time!.

Oh and thanks for all the reviews, I love hearing from you all :).

Chapter 7

It had been an entire two weeks since Rachel had gone to visit Jesse in the hospital and an entire two weeks since she had spoken to Finn. She knew that she was an awful person for ignoring the sweet boy that had been nothing but kind towards her but her feelings were all over the place right now and she had needed the time to think.

First of all, Rachel felt ashamed. She felt ashamed for hurting Jesse and for feeling such strong things for Finn when she hardly even knew him and for being able to confide in him all the things that she should have felt like she could have talked to Jesse about but never had been able to. She felt slightly scared at the speed that her feelings were developing for Finn at. She didn't know if it was because she was not used to receiving such kindness or attention from someone or a boy like him before or if it was because she was on the rebound because of her split from Jesse but all she knew was that her feelings were strong and had quickly begun to overwhelm her.

Rachel knew that she was infatuated with Finn but she wasn't sure how long it would be until she was more than just infatuated with him and she needed time to sort through her feelings for Jesse and her messed up thoughts before allowing herself to freefall into a new love with her adorably tall show choir rival.

And that was just another complication to add to all of her current drama.

She was having a friendship, a growing crush and was deeply attracted to the lead singer of her show choir's biggest rivals. If the rest of the team and especially Jesse (who by now had begun to recover and was back to rehearsing with the team, albeit not dancing with the broken leg, and throwing glares and rude remarks at Rachel at any given opportunity, once again playing hot and cold with her heart. She knew that he would never really change so she was glad she had not allowed him to guilt trip her back into a relationship) ever found out they would do whatever they had to stop Rachel from ever seeing Finn and they would probably goes as far as attacking the other team and causing as much trouble for them as they possible could and that was the last thing that Rachel wanted. She didn't want to hurt or harm or humiliate Finn's team and friends and if she had to lock her feelings away and distance herself from Finn for his own protection as well as for his team then she would do that, no matter how painful it would be for her.

"Rachel?" Rachel glanced up from where she was lying back on her bed with her I-pod playing Adele's turning tables in her ears as she lost herself in her thoughts and noticed that her daddy, Hiram, was standing in the doorway smiling at her. She quickly took out her earphones to respond to him.

"Yes daddy?"

"You have a visitor, sweetie" he informed her and Rachel hopped off her bed with a frown. Blaine had been over earlier and had not shut up for one second about Kurt Hummel, making it increasingly obvious that he had developed a strong crush on the boy but was not willing to do anything about it. After he had left, Rachel hated to admit it but she had been relieved. It had been hard hearing him go on about his crush on Kurt while she was so conflicted and confused about her own and just wanted to be left alone for a while so she could think...the way she had been for the past two weeks.

So as she stepped out of her doorway she knew that the visitor could not be Blaine. Feeling her stomach churn, Rachel prayed that it wasn't Jesse. He was definitely the last person on Earth she wanted to see right now. The brunette prepared herself just in case but when she entered into her living room and saw a familiar face sitting on her sofa, she was pleasantly surprised. In fact her heart skipped a beat when she saw Finn waiting for her. He stood up as soon as he realised she had entered the room and gave her a nervous look as he began to speak.

"Hi, Rachel...I know this may be kind of weird and random me being here and you might think I'm some kind of creepy stalker or something but you haven't been returning any of my calls since that day in the hospital and I just wanted to know if it was something that I did?"

"No, no, it wasn't about you..." Rachel immediately said, feeling guilty and more ashamed for making Finn think that he had done something wrong."It was all me. I was feeling confused and I needed some time to think about some stuff without adding anymore confusion to my confusion...if that makes sense at all to you"

"I'm confusing you?" Finn asked, looking unsurprisingly confused about Rachel's words.

"No, it's just...well, it's Jesse" she said, taking a deep breath. She knew that she had been a horrible friend for ignoring Finn for two weeks so he at least deserved an explanation. "We dated not that long ago, remember I mentioned that I had a boyfriend that didn't treat me like a star, such as I, deserved?" Finn nodded and his eyes widened as he realised that it was Jesse St James, the amazing lead of vocal adrenaline that she had dated and not just some random jerk.

"Well I broke up with him for a reason and ever since then he's been making me feel guilty and confused. He blows hot and cold towards me and when he's nice, he's really sweet and I remember why I loved him but when he's being...well cold you could say, he is nothing but self-centred and arrogant and does not seem to appreciate me whatsoever and until I met you, I thought that was how all relationships were meant to be like and I decided that I'd rather be alone than feeling the way I was with Jesse. But then I met you and I knew that it was Jesse who had the problem and not everyone was like that but after he ended up in hospital-"

"Hold on, Jesse was the team mate that fought Puck?" Finn asked in disbelief and looked incredulous when Rachel nodded and continued speaking.

"After he ended up in hospital I felt like I owed it to him to see him especially since he kept asking for me and then I ran into his parents who have always wanted us to end up together and eventually married and seeing them made me feel like such a awful person for breaking up with him, like it was my fault he got into that fight and was in the hospital and then I spoke to Jesse who basically was trying to guilt me into agreeing to date him again but when I said no and stood my ground he turned back into cold Jesse and ever since then rehearsals have been awkward and I've felt like falling apart. I can't stand to work with a team that hates me and always sides with Jesse when things turn sour between the two of us and I feel even more confused about you!" Rachel finally ran out of breath from her rant, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Why do you feel confused about me?" Finn asked, looking curious and slightly hopeful.

"Because I like you and I know you feel the connection between the two of us which is unexplainable and so complicated but we can't do anything about this thing between us because of our loyalties to our teams and there's the fact I am still trying to heal from Jesse. I am not ready for another relationship and I don't want to lose the friendship we've built. You mean way too much to me for me to risk that out of my own selfish desires" she responded and Finn gave her a soft smile that made her heart melt like butter on the spot as soon as it appeared on his face.

"I can see why you haven't been talking my calls recently. You've been busy thinking about all of this haven't you?" he asked her and when Rachel nodded he gave her a sad look."I like you too Rachel and I just wanted you to know that I will wait for you however long I have too. I have never felt anything like this for anyone before you and I think we could have something really special if we just gave it a shot. But if you need time, I get that and just know that I'll always be there if you need to call someone or need a friend. Please just don't keep on ignoring me; it really sucks when I don't get to hear your voice. I've missed you, Rachel as crazy as that might sound"

"That's not crazy at all, Finn. I have missed you two these past weeks. I just need time, alright? and I don't know how long that might be" she admitted and Finn nodded, although looking slightly disappointed.

"I should go...I guess. Regional's are in four weeks. I will see you then if I don't hear from you or see you before" Finn told her and then gave her a quick smile "Good luck with everything anyway. I hope that things with Jesse and vocal adrenaline will go okay for you"

"Thank you, Finn" Rachel replied touched for his concern before giving the tall boy a quick hug after walking him to the door."I'll see you at Regional's" Finn didn't respond or look back as he got into his truck.

Rachel stood at the doorway and gave his retreating figure a longing look. He deserved better than a confused, messed up, heartbroken diva who didn't know what it was that she wanted yet but still he came after her, was concerned about her even though he hardly even knew her and had yet to see the worst parts of her personality. The parts that even her best friend, Blaine could find annoying and he had the patience of a saint so that was saying something.

As she watched his car drive away, Rachel realised that she knew that she wanted to be more than friends with Finn but she was scared to let him get too close after Jesse. Jesse was the only one who could understand her personality flaws and was the only one who could put up with them. She was terrified that if she started to be fully herself around Finn, he would realise how selfish, dramatic, overbearing and obsessive she could really be and would run for the hills.

This was why she was going to take this time for herself to wonder if she was really going to brave enough to risk the connection she had with Finn but for an attraction, an infatuation that may only be fleeting or may only be there because of the thrill of the risk of seeing someone from the rival team, someone she knew would drive Jesse crazy with jealously and rage.

She needed to consider if she would be able to risk losing Finn because of her personality and if the risk would be worth it. Most importantly, Rachel wanted to make sure that she wanted to be in a relationship with Finn for the right reasons and not as a rebound for Jesse, because even though he was a jerk towards her, she had sincerely loved him with her whole heart and was only just beginning to let him go and surrender his place in her heart for someone else. She didn't want to jump into a relationship too quickly and she was glad that she had the common sense to do think about this and not be her usual, do first, think later self.

She had learnt her lesson from the time she had sent an old rival to a crack house and ended up in so much trouble for it and from the time that she had agreed to go to one of the Warblers dorm parties and had ended up getting drunk and making out with Blaine, her gay best friend of all people, much to the amusement of everybody. This was one thing that Rachel was going to think carefully about and weigh up the pros and cons. She refused to allow Finn to get hurt the way she had hurt Jesse because she was indecisive and confused.

"Rachel" the brunette was jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of her dad, Hiram, who was standing right behind her and looking curious."Who was that boy? I've not seen him around here before"

"Oh he's just a friend from another school, daddy...it's nothing you need to be concerned about. I only just ended things with Jesse" she explained before running back up to her bedroom so that she could continue to think without anymore interruptions and to relax and listen to some Broadway tunes for a while. She soon found herself falling to sleep to the sound of 'I'm Not That Girl' from Wicked.

The following day, Rachel found herself in rehearsals with vocal adrenaline once again and found herself butting heads with Tiffany Gilmore. "You're doing it all wrong, Rachel, you may be a brilliant singer but you dance like a rhythmless dolphin!" the blonde growled fiercely at the shorter girl.

Rachel narrowed her brown eyes at her, feeling her temper begin to flare. She was doing all of the movements exactly right, she had impeccable dancing skills and rhythm thanks to her years of training since she was just three years old and Tiffany thought she had the right to criticise her. Everyone else could see that Rachel was doing everything right but Tiffany was out for blood and was not going to back down anytime soon.

"There is nothing wrong with my dancing but thank you for the unnecessary criticism about my performance. Maybe you should focus your energy on your own slightly subpar vocal ability rather than my dancing skills. It would be a much more productive use of your time" Rachel retorted and the other girl glared at her dangerously and took a few steps forward until she was towering directly over Rachel in an obvious attempt to intimidate her. Rachel didn't flinch. She was used to being towered over by bigger people and she refused to let Tiffany's threats get to her.

She knew it was because the blonde was protective and possessive about Jesse and was still disgruntled that he didn't want to get back with her even as a consolation prize from losing Rachel who had absolutely zero interest in getting back to him. Tiffany could never understand in a million years why someone would not want to be with Jesse St James when they had the chance. She would die for him to just look at her with affection for one second. It was a bit pathetic really, the obvious feelings she still harboured for him even after getting dumped.

"You know I never really understood what Jesse saw in you. You are an obnoxious, overbearing, egotistical, selfish little midget who hurts everyone around her including this team, all because she had gotten bored with Jesse, who has done nothing but adore you and love you and this is how you repay him" Tiffany sneered at her harshly and Rachel felt like she had been slapped across the face. She had taken her insecurities and displayed them for the whole world to see. The brunette forced herself to try and blink back the sting of tears that were building up in her eyes.

"You don't know anything about my relationship with Jesse" Rachel replied calmly, although inside she was wondering where Shelby had gone to and mentally begged for her to come back quickly and put a stop to Tiffany's tirade against her. The rest of the team were doing absolutely nothing, only standing to one side and enjoying the show. Jesse was not even in the room, having decided to go and practice his vocal exercises in the boy's changing rooms until Shelby returned.

"Maybe I don't know the specifics but I do know something" Rachel did not like the smug smile that had appeared on the blonde's face."I know that you happen to have a thing for the lead singer of New Directions" at her words, Rachel tried not to allow the panic to show on her face but she had a bad feeling she had failed since Tiffany's smile grew larger.

"That's not true. I don't know what you're talking about" Rachel denied, forcing her expression to remain blank and guarded.

"I'm sure you don't but I've seen the way you two look at each other and a little birdie told me that Finn Hudson was at your house last night but I am not sure if that is really true or not since my source isn't completely reliable, however, all I know is if I were to tell Jesse and the rest of the team my suspicions then I am pretty sure your position as the star of this team will be over before you can scream Broadway and you will become a social pariah at this school. Then what will you do? No Jesse, No lead role, no limelight, you will be just another loser who happens to be able to sing. So I seriously suggest you end whatever thing you have going on with that Hudson guy, get back with Jesse and do all you can to make him happy or else I will end you. Do you hear me?"

Rachel felt a lump foam in the back of her throat at the expression on Tiffany's face and the menacing, threatening tone in her voice. She knew that everything that Tiffany had said was true. She would not hesitate even for one moment to tell Jesse and the rest of the team what she had discovered and then Rachel's life as she knew it was over.

Rachel Berry lived for her role as vocal adrenaline's lead singer and there was no way she would be able to deal with being a social pariah at the school. Bad things happened to those on the bottom of the food chain at Carmel and the team was what protected her against all of that. She couldn't lose it. She couldn't afford to lose everything that she loved over something with Finn that she wasn't even confident she wanted to dive into in the first place. As much as it pained her and as much as she felt a strong connection with him, Rachel was going to have end whatever it was that they had going on including their friendship.

This wasn't just about her, however, because if Tiffany told the rest of their team then Finn would also need protecting since she was sure his team would find out from Jesse and everything in his life would most likely turn to hell and his friends would be angry at him just because of her. She wouldn't let that happen to him, she wasn't that selfish despite what everyone else thought about her and maybe in the end this was for the best. At least she hoped that Finn would think so.

Finn was sitting on the sofa in the living room at his house when his cell phone started ringing. When he realised it was Rachel, he felt a jolt of excitement rush through his body and his heart began to race a little. Thankfully Kurt was at Dalton and wouldn't be home until the weekend and Burt and his mother had gone on a date so he was all alone and nobody would be around to eavesdrop.

"Rachel, hi" Finn immediately said, wincing at the excitement in his tone of voice. He was making himself sound like a loser already and he'd barely said two words to her.

"Hello, Finn" she answered back, her soft voice sounding as velvety and sweet as honey.

"What's going on? I didn't expect to hear from you this soon" he admitted, hoping that she was about to tell him that she was more than ready to start something with him or at least go on a date. He hadn't actually asked her on one yet, he realised and decided that would be the first thing he did when she finished speaking.

"I am just ringing to tell you that I am sorry but I don't think we should carry on with our...friendship anymore" Rachel said and Finn felt like he had been sucker punched.

"What?"

"It's not you, it was never you. You've been nothing but sweet and an amazing friend and I wish I could be a better one to you but I can't. My team needs to come first, Finn and I can't jeopardise that for anyone, not even you and I am still so messed up over Jesse and I don't think I will be ready for a new romance for a long time. Don't wait for me, Finn. Move on. We come from two different worlds and we're rivals. It's best that this comes to an end now before either of us get hurt" Rachel told him, sounding sad and Finn felt anger rise up within him.

She had not even given this proper consideration. She had told him she had needed more time to think about things and left him with the impression that she was really into him but now it had been only one day since he had gone over to her house and now she had suddenly decided that it was wrong for them to even be friends. She had not been acting like this a few weeks ago.

"I don't get it. Where is this coming from?" Finn demanded, pacing the living room now, trying to resist the urge to throw the phone at the wall.

"It's coming from me. Things between us were moving way too fast and I have realised that I've been neglecting my team and they are the most important thing in my life. I need to focus on my music and vocal adrenaline before I attempt to start a relationship and when I do, I can't do it with you. I really do like you Finn and you deserve better than this, I didn't mean to lead you on, I'm sorry. I've got to go; I'm meeting my best friend for coffee. I'll see you at Regional's I guess. Please don't call me or come to see me"

Finn heard her hang up on him and stood in a stunned silence in his living room before slumping back down onto the sofa, feeling like he wanted to cry. He had not felt this hurt and confused since he had realised that Quinn wasn't carrying his baby but his best friend's. Depressed, he decided he needed something to take his mind off Rachel Berry, the girl who he had made an instant connection with and the girl who already had way too much power over him.

He picked up his cell phone and found the number he wanted to ring. He was relieved when the familiar voice answered.

"Hi Santana, is the offer that you made me still available?"