Rating: T
Warning: None
Summary: Stiles is always there for Scott and Derek, but what can you do when everything you have done still isn't good enough.
Sorry it took so long to update. As I said, school has started and I haven't found much time to work on this. As always thank you to VCCV for being my beta. You've been wonderful. Also, I'd like to thank all of the people who reviewed. Everything you guys have said has put a smile on my face.
Stiles' POV"What the hell's going on?" Scott continued to look from Derek to me, anger and confusion welling in his eyes. I didn't know what to say or where to start lying. So, I decided to tell Scott the truth.
"Derek made fun of me, and I took it too seriously," I said bluntly. "He was trying to apologize when you walked into the room." I'd told the truth; I'd just left out a few major details.
"So then, what's wrong with him?" Scott nodded towards Derek, who was still standing with his mouth agape.
"I don't know," I answered, shrugging. Scott frowned; he knew something was up, but he also knew I wasn't lying. I was really hoping that he wouldn't push. "How was your day?" I changed the subject.
Scott suspiciously narrowed his eyes at me before answering. "It was okay. I upset Allison."
"What'd you do? I loved him to death, but Scott was pretty predictable. Get him talking about Allison and he tended to forget everything else.
"Told her I couldn't hang out with her because I needed to take care of you," Scott said slowly, looking from me to Derek. Well, changing the subject didn't work. What the hell was I supposed to do now?
"I have to go," Derek blurted out, hastily shoving past Scott to retreat out the door. Deserting bastard. Scott watched Derek take the steps two at a time and then pointedly looked back at me.
"And you're sure nothing else happened with him?" Scott jerked his head toward the door Derek just bolted from.
"Positive. I just made him feel really shitty." I stepped to the window and peered out the curtains. Derek crossed the street, his hands in his pockets, and as soon as he hit the woods, he took off like a shot. A few seconds after he disappeared through the trees, I turned back to Scott.
I could tell he was in no way convinced. However, in a rare moment of empathy, he decided pushing it would only make matters worse. "Well, since I'm here, is there anything you need?"
"No." Right about now, I just wanted to be left alone. My wolf senses were on overload and my brain was whirling with thoughts of Derek. I couldn't think straight, and the agitation in me seemed to make my wolf stir. "You should call Allison; Tell her I'm better. Go hang out with her."
"You sure?" Scott frowned.
"I think I just need a little time to myself. Process everything, you know?" I grinned half-heartedly at him. Good old goofy Stiles to the rescue.
"Okay, if you're positive?" I simply nodded at him. "Thanks!" Scott was nearly beaming as he bounced on his toes then headed for the door.
"See ya. Have fun." I waved as Scott shut the door behind him. His soft footsteps echoed in my ears as he left the house. I walked over to my bed, flopping down face first. Scott and his fair-weathered friendship aside, "What the hell did I just do?" The bed muffled my voice, but not even my fluffy down comforter could hide the whine. I had a feeling that what I did today was going to come back around and bite me in the ass.
Derek's POVHours had passed since I left Stiles' house, and I was still pacing from room to empty room, that kiss still clawing at my brain. Less than a second, and my whole world was on its head. His movement was unsure, but his soft lips felt so right; like they were meant to be against mine. In those few seconds, sparks flew and my brain scrambled. Every wall that I put up crumbled down, and for that moment, I felt vulnerable.
But as right as it felt, I couldn't allow myself to get any closer to Stiles. I'd already made his life hell. If it weren't for me, he would have never been put in danger; never become a werewolf. Scott might have done the damage, and the alpha the instigation, but I knew the real fault lay with me. Nothing could change the fact that I could never allow myself to get any closer. I wouldn't let myself do more damage. I didn't want to hurt Stiles; just the thought made me sick to my stomach, but there was nothing else I could do. If I let him in, that would only put him in more danger. He could be used against me. Frustrated, I ground the heels of my hands into my eyes, pushing until I saw sparks.
No. My mind was made up. I'd rather break his heart, make him hate me, than to have him injured and used against me. I know what I have to do, even if it still feels like it's wrong. The thought of breaking his heart and making him hate me made me nauseous. It physically hurts, because I love everything about him.
His goofy smile; how he gets nervous whenever he's around me; his laugh the smell of fruit from the gum in his pocket and the cheap cologne he wears. Everything about him drives me crazy.
Furious with myself, with Scott, with the alpha, with the whole damned situation, I heaved the coffee table into the wall. This was going to be harder for me than I initially thought. I needed him to be safe. I needed him to be okay without me. But, that meant he had to be taught how to protect himself.
"Dammit!"
Scott, tomorrow you and Stiles come out. We'd better start training him.