Summary: What if Rose touched the Ninth Doctor during his regeneration? [Rose/10]

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Rose awoke groggily; her entire body ached down to her bones. Her skin felt hot, burning even, and her mouth was dry and cold. She couldn't move her muscles without there being a sudden shocking pain echoing in her body; yet it didn't stop her as she rolled to push herself to her feet. She clutched the side of the TARDIS, panting harshly.

"Doctor," She began; her voice thick and shaky, "What happened to the Daleks?"

The last thing she remembered was her Mum coming with a truck to help her get into the TARDIS. Or was it the TARDIS Heart? It couldn't have been – she was told never to touch that. 'It burns people' the Doctor had told her once as she stared at Blon Fel-Fotch's egg. But wasn't the burning worth it? Wasn't the Doctor worth the burning? Something inside whispered that the Doctor was worth the monsters – suddenly there was a flash of blonde and pain in her chest. But where did it come from? Flashes of her future? Flashes of her past, maybe, but then why didn't she remember it? Maybe it was just a dream?

Just a dream. She'd had that feeling before. Long ago. When she was running to the Doctor and then there was a shocking pain in her spine before nothingness took over. But it wasn't nothingness. She was there. Except not – not there, not with the Doctor where she belonged, forever; it had felt like a dream when she, well, became alive again. But she hadn't died so it wasn't exactly coming back to live, was it? All this thinking about it made her head hurt. Well, hurt more. It was already pounding – like little axes in her skull.

Like a bomb in her ears. A bomb. More flashes of blonde, except dirtier, and explosives and leather jackets. A name, but it wasn't a name. Ace. Dorothy was better – like the Wizard of Oz. Calling a man the Professor. She was a student?

Rose shook her head and focused back on the Doctor's words.

"I killed them." He said. The pounding grew. Sudden shocking pain and she winced imperceptibly.

"Rose Tyler. I was gonna take you to so many places. Barcelona. Not the city Barcelona, the planet Barcelona. You'll love it, fantastic place; they've got dogs with no noses!" He laughed heartily and her own heart clenched in her chest, "Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke, and it's still funny!"

"So," She asked, "Why can't we go?"

They had a spaceship, a time machine, why not travel there? Why not now? That way they could run far away from the ache in her body and that stifling incredulous laugh he had exposed to the world. They could run from the Daleks and dreams that weren't dreams.

"Maybe you will, and maybe I will," He wasn't making sense, not to her, but then, he never did, "But not like this."

Was he taking her home? She would go to Barcelona one day, but not with him. Maybe years in the future and he wouldn't take her. He was going to drop her off home! She plotted madly ways to prove to him that she was worth keeping around. That she wasn't a mistake like so many other's had thought about her. She could prove it to him. She'd be fantastic enough, brave enough, and smart enough, for him. She would change everything about her if need be. Re-dye her hair, change her clothes, and be absolutely perfect so he wouldn't have a reason to ever drop her off home.

"Doctor, you're not making any sense." She told him, begging him to explain to her why she wouldn't be with him. Why would he leave her? Her eyes flashed brightly but no one saw.

"I might never make sense again! I might have two heads! Or no head! Imagine me with no head - and don't say that's an improvement." He was teasing her, which was a good sign.

She couldn't contain a smile at his normalcy. At his jokes and his teasing and the fact that she still had no idea what he was talking about. Lunatic alien, he was. Her lunatic alien – hopefully, at least, she couldn't very well have her lunatic alien if he left her alone on Earth.

She tried to imagine a life of chips and telly and her Mum's ranting. But she kept having flashes of her waking up hoping life-on-earth was a dream and she was home on the TARDIS. A life of disappointment and settling, something she had thought was all the lay in wait until she met him. Her Doctor, with his mad grin and those daft ears and his kooky smile as he took her all around the Universe through space and time, his hand slotted in her own. A perfect fit, she called it.

"But it's a bit dodgy, this process." He said, his smile suddenly so sad.

Her own smile faded.

"You never know what you're going to end up with." He said, confusing her even more. It didn't sound like he was going to get rid of her, but she couldn't be entirely sure. Not when he was speaking in riddles. Dancing over his words like a ballerina. A sudden flash of the Doctor in a tutu had her suppressing giggles.

There was a flash of light, burning and bright and oh so familiar to her, and the Doctor doubled over, clutching his stomach. He grunted in pain. She rushed forward about to grab him and help him sit down. Maybe he got hit with the Dalek gun – but then he would have been killed instantly. Maybe it was his 'superior Time Lord physiology'.

"Doctor!" She said as she moved.

"Stay away!" He ordered and she froze. It was as if every cell in her body snapped to obey his orders. The power he had over her was astounding and she hated it currently. He was hurting! She had to help him! What kind of companion would let him suffer? Not her, not now that she was trying so hard to be perfect. But perfection means obeying orders. Maybe she wasn't so perfect.

"Doctor, what's going on?" She asked desperately.

"I absorbed all the energy of the Time Vortex and no one's meant to do that," He gave her a pained grin, "Every cell in my body is dying."

Dying. Dying. Dead. Gone. Forever. Dying. Dyingdyingdyingdying. The word echoed in her mind until all she knew was the pain and grief that accompanied those words. The sight of a gravestone without a name because he didn't have one – at least that she knew – and her mourning in blue because he hated the colour black. She would be mistaken for a widow because she was all he had. Her and the TARDIS – what would she do with the TARDIS? Perhaps she could still live in it. Not use it – heaven no, she couldn't pilot it – but she could live in it. Grow up as the Woman in the Blue Box. Alone and withered. Until Death came for her and they joined one another again in Heaven to have adventures again. For all eternity. Like he promised her.

"Can't you do something?" She asked, he was the Doctor, wasn't he? He could do anything! Maybe she could do something for him! Help him, do something, anything! The force of the idea of his death was too much for her poor human heart to bear. He was her Doctor, she had to help him.

"Yeah," That word had never seemed so amazing until now, "I'm doing it now... Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death," If anyone could cheat death it was the Doctor.

"Except, it means I'm gonna change." Change? Change how? Change companions? "And I'm not gonna see you again, not like this, not with this daft old face." Not daft, brilliant. Him and his brilliant face and those brilliant hands and his brilliant brain – he was perfect the way he was.

"And before I go..."

Go? Where was he going? He wasn't making sense! Doctor, she wanted to plead, Doctor don't go! Doctor stay with me! Please!

"Don't say that!" She snapped angrily. He wasn't going anywhere. Ever.

"Rose, before I go I just wanna tell you - you were fantastic..." She was fantastic? Did that mean he wasn't leaving her? But he wasn't leaving her either! He couldn't go! He was hers and she wouldn't let him change.

(flash of brown pinstripes and big hair and a hand grown from a stump and those big brown eyes)

"Absolutely fantastic... and d'you know what?" He asked jokingly, pausing for effect. Forever the showman.

Rose shook her head, not trusting her voice.

"So was I." He said simply. They shared a secret smile. Just then there was a burst of light all around his body. Golden light that shone like the sun itself was consuming the Doctor.

In a burst of panic and instinct Rose leapt towards the light, ignoring the voice in her mind telling her to stop you daft girl, don't touch me! Her hands reached through the light and onto his jacket, pulling her towards him.

"I won't let you go!" She cried as she burrowed into the light and felt the burn. It felt like she had died and returned to life only to die again. The pain was excruciating – like hot pokers dug into her flesh and twisted until all she knew was the burning. Another image of a man with bad skin and sideburns and hands that fit just as perfectly with her own – of pinstripes and brown eyes, of a weak wrist, and of a confession on a beach that was too cold.

Who was that man?

All her thoughts became buried under the pain of her body breaking in the heat and the feel of her Doctor's body shifting and changing. Suddenly so skinny and slim with muscles that he will never truly use for anything other than leaping about on the TARDIS. But where was her Doctor? She couldn't find him underneath this new person. Who was this man? How long would her Doctor be gone? Whispers of forever filled her mind.

Forever. Such an odd concept. Never dying. Never leaving. Always with the Doctor. She wished for forever. Forever with her Doctor – this man that was changing who wasn't the Doctor would leave eventually but she never would. She would forever be with her Doctor. Her entire being shuddered in on itself as something inside fortified and became permanent, or so it felt like, underneath all this pain it was hard to tell what anything was anymore.

The pain stopped abruptly and she stumbled back. The Doctor – the man – snapped his neck to look at her with a new face. Anger took over his face like a shadow.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE—?" He stopped, licking his tongue over his teeth, "New teeth…that's weird."

She stared at him in disbelief. The big hair. The brown eyes. The sideburns. His teeth. Was this the man in her dream? A man who wasn't a man. A madman. Her Doctor with a – a new face? Was that possible.

'I'm going to change' was this, this change, what he meant? Her Doctor? Understanding dawned. He changed his body. That's what the burning was, his changing. He cheated death by becoming a new person. But was he a new person? Was it just a new face, or was it his entire being? His emotions? His love of humans?

"Where was I?" He asked, more to himself than anyone, "Oh yeah, WHAT WERE YOU DOING ROSE TYLER? OF ALL THE STUPID, IGNORANT THINGS TO DO!" He rushed forward and grabbed her arms tightly, bruising her skin, "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME! NOT TO GET NEAR ME AND WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU GOT NEAR ME!"

"Typical, eh?" She asked softly. Anger drained out of him at the sight of her brown eyes watering but still staring up at him with adoration and love. Something he was sure would fade with his regeneration. Was she still going to stay with him?

Rose stared up at him, did she still love him? He was so new, so different, was this truly a man she would love? There was only one way to find out.

She lifted a shaking hand to his and pulled it down, off of her arm where a bruise was forming, and twined her hand in his. Silence reigned. The hand in her own was dry and warm, much like the old Doctor's, and his fingers were just as long and musical as they wrapped around her hand automatically. His hands were the same.

They were a –

"Perfect fit." He whispered. She nodded up at him with a watery smile. The Doctor twisted her around like a dancer would, and pulled her back to his chest – still holding her hand tightly. He buried his head in her neck and grinned brightly against the junction between her neckline and shoulder.

"Doctor," She said softly, careful not to break the moment, "Can we go to Barcelona?"

"Rose Tyler," He said reverently, "we can go wherever you would like!"

"Good," She said, "Because, actually, I'd like to go home first and see me Mum."

The Doctor groaned. But he set the coordinates and muttered about nutcakes and the idea of traveling back to a woman who had no idea who he was now and was likely going to slap him for changing his face on her daughter which, he was sure, Jackie would have a field day yelling at him for being 'too shifty' and a 'no good alien that wants to make away with me only daughter'.

"It's going to be a bloody nightmare." She heard him hiss.

That's when she knew; he was the same man. Always.

/

What no one knew was that inside of Rose, just beneath her so human rib cage, there was now one too many hearts inside her chest. Unheard by all, but the TARDIS, there was also the sound of a howl and a pair of glowing gold eyes inside of Rose. Rose was now the Bad Wolf – unable to regenerate but as long lasting as any Time Lady would be.

Rose Tyler was, now, as forever as she had wished to be.

Enjoy! Review please!

Aimlessly Unknown