Forbidden love

A/N: This is my first fanfic ever. I just had this thought a couple of days ago and it gave me a lot of ideas. And I just randomly decided to write something. I know it's not very good, it's probably very sucky, and my English might not be the best either because English isn't my first language. So I'm VERY sorry if it gets confusing at some parts, I'm trying to write the best as I can and if you got any questions, feel free to ask. Okay so this fanfic is a Sirius/Bellatrix story. Some things might not be right in it and I'm sorry about that. Well as usual Bellatrix has to follow her family's strict rules of blood-status and everything but in this story she starts to get quite confused about it. In my story they had been very good friends, before going to Hogwarts and they were both in the same year. And here Bellatrix doesn't know that Sirius is an Animagus. She doesn't know anything about it. Oh and the cursive text are her memory from four months earlier. So this chapter is mostly around the memory. And none of these characters are mine, just some made up ones like Selena and Brianna and probably more to come. Other canon characters belongs to the amazing writer J.K Rowling. But since I came up with the idea of this story, the plot belongs to me. Anyways, I'd love to hear what you think about it so feel free to leave a review and tell me if you want me to continue writing. Both positive and negative criticism will be accepted. God I talk to much...I should probably shut up now and let you read. Please just leave a review with your thoughts, I want to know if there are people that will read my story if I write more. Well anyways, happy reading.

Chapter one - Memories:

Bellatrix looked out of the window of the train with a absent expression on her face. She was going to Hogwarts for her sixth year. Her sisters Narcissa and Andromeda sat next to her in the train wagon, looking very excited and chatting very loudly about everything they would be doing this year. But Bellatrix was far from excited, oh no she didn't want to enter that castle anymore. And the reason was very shocking, not only to her family, but to the whole school and wizardry world.

The daily prophet had made the embarrassing event one of the biggest news ever published, and all Bellatrix could do was denying it. Oh how she wished it hadn't happened, how she wished it would've still been a secret, because she did still care, she wasn't ready to let go and she wasn't as heartless as everyone thought she was, no, even though her family had strict rules about blood purity and blood status, her heart was still able to love. No! She couldn't think about it like this. She had promised herself to never think about it anymore and just forget about what had happened four months ago, in a corridor they thought was deserted, but they were soon proven wrong.

Oh how she regretted it, she knew it was wrong but she had still done it, her mind had told her no, but her heart had spoken differently. She frowned slightly. For gods sake she was Bellatrix Black! It was wrong to even think about it, but she couldn't help it, she closed her eyes and let her mind slowly replay the scene that had happened four months ago and that had been played in her mind over and over again during the summer.

She was sitting in the Slytherin common room, reading a book about Potions. She concentrated on the text and hardly noticed that two giggling girls walked up to her. She glanced up at them boringly and raised an eyebrow slightly. She recognized the girls as two fourth year Slytherins. One of them had long and curly brown hair with green eyes and long eyelashes. Her name was Selena Shepherd and was probably the biggest gossiper in the entire school. The other girl had blond, messy shoulder length hair. Her eyes was deep blue and she had a wide grin on her face. Her name was Brianna Brown. They were both, like Bellatrix, still wearing their school robes. Bellatrix kept looking at the two giggling girls, getting slightly annoyed.

"Can I help you?" Bellatrix said coldly.
"Yes, actually you can." Selena said excitedly and kept glancing at Brianna.
"And with what can I help you exactly?" Bellatrix said, her eyebrow was still raised and she tried to not show them how annoyed she really was.
Selena looked at her friend and poked her side, Brianna flinched and looked at Selena confused.
"Ouch! What was that for?" she said, and her voice sounded slightly hurt. Selena rolled her eyes at Brianna and spoke with an annoyed and anxious voice.
"Tell her!"
"Why should I tell her?"
"Just do it, I can't stand this anymore"
Bellatrix watched them fuss like an old married couple. She sighed heavily and closed her book.
"I am in no mood to sit here and watch you two fight like a married couple, nor do I have the time. So if you could just get on with it and tell me whatever it is that you're so excited about, I bet we all would be happier afterwards." Bellatrix spat out at them. She really wasn't in the mood to even speak with Selena and Brianna, all she wanted was that they would leave and let her read in peace. Selena had a small smirk playing on her lips and she watched Bellatrix almost teasingly.
"Fine." She said calmly. "I'll tell you."
Bellatrix looked at her with slightly narrowed eyes.
"I'm waiting." She said, tapping her fingers on the cover of her book.
Selena grinned like a child who had just gotten the toy of their dreams.
"Someone wants to meet you." She said, still with that stupid grin on her face that made Bellatrix so annoyed she wanted to slap her.
"And who may that 'someone' be?". She said coldly. And Selena and Brianna both smirked.
"That handsome Gryffindor boy, Sirius Black. Also known as your cousin, dear Bella" Selena said and watched Bellatrix closely, waiting for her reaction. Bellatrix just raised her eyebrows in surprise but then frowned at the girls. "Sirius? What does he want with me?" She said, slightly curious but still annoyed.
"We don't know, he just told us to tell you that he'll be waiting for you on the seventh floor." Selena said calmly. Bellatrix kept frowning and looked down at her book.

Why did Sirius want to speak with her? Since the day he got sorted into Gryffindor they hadn't had a conversation that didn't end with them both pointing their wands at each other. And even those conversations hardly happened. Yes, she and Sirius had been very close friends before their first year at Hogwarts, and yes, she couldn't deny that she had gotten very disappointed when the sorting hat had placed him into Gryffindor. But what could she do? She had been raised in a family where everyone were Slytherins, she had been taught to despise muggleborns, blood-traitors and even half-bloods. She had been taught that they had dirty blood and that they were a disgrace to the wizardry world and that only Pureblooded families were worthy of living. And she couldn't deny that somewhere, deep inside, she still cared about the man. Bellatrix shook her head and looked up at the girls again. She was angry with herself about what she had been thinking and promised herself that she would never think about it, or him, anymore. But Bellatrix Black wasn't someone that was famous for keeping her promises.

She looked at the girls with a puzzled look on her face and nodded. "Alright." She said. "Thank you for telling me." She said coldly and stood up, straightening her skirt and walked past them and out from the common room, without saying a word. Bellatrix walked out from the dungeons and started walking up to the seventh floor. On her way up she couldn't stop thinking about what he wanted from her, she couldn't help but think about the times they had spent together playing when they were kids and found herself smiling slightly. She frowned and bit her lip. What was wrong with her? Why did she even think about those things? This was wrong! And if she had any dignity left she would turn around immediately and walk back to the dungeons without talking with him. But there was something that kept her feet moving towards the seventh floor, and she didn't know what it was or what that had happened with her.

Bellatrix was very confused and just when she considered turning around she found herself on the seventh floor, and she saw him, leaning towards a big wall. He was looking down and hadn't noticed her yet. The corridor was completely empty, apart from them. Bellatrix kept quiet and studied him. He was wearing black trousers and a white shirt that swept around his chest smoothly. Bellatrix shook her head when she realized that she had been staring at him. She sighed and stepped closer to him. Her shoes making soft clicking noises on the floor. He looked up and smiled softly at the sight of her. She bit her lip and looked at him, feeling slightly nervous. He pushed forward from the wall and stood in front of her, still keeping a distance of two feet between them. She looked up at him and into his eyes and felt her cheeks grow warmer. He looked back at her, still smiling softly and took a step closer.

"Bella, my dear cousin." He said warmly, his voice sounding a bit nervous. Maybe he was as nervous as her? She kept looking at him. She hadn't watched him like this in ages and was surprised how much he had changed over the years. He looked more...mature. Ugh! What had happened to her? What was wrong with her? She just wanted this to be over as fast as possible.
"Hello Sirius." She said and the words came out softer than they were meant to. Her cheeks still had a shade of red on them. Sirius stepped closer so there were now only one feet between them, he looked around a bit awkwardly like he didn't know where to start. Bellatrix looked down and twirled a strand of her curly hair between her fingers.
"What do you want Sirius?" She said calmly and looked up at him again. He slowly stepped closer and reached out for her hand. She flinched and moved back slightly.
"Bella...I..." He looked at her almost pleadingly, this was really messing with her head, she knew that the right thing to do was to run away and forget it all, but there she was, still standing in front of him. She let out a sigh and looked into his eyes.
"You what, Sirius? Why did you want me to come here?"
"I wanted to...talk with you, that's all." He said, and his voice trembled slightly.
"Talk with me? About what exactly?"
"About what has happened between us, we used to be such good friends. What happened Bella?" He said, looking at her with a bit of sadness in his eyes. Bellatrix sighed again. This wasn't right, it just wasn't.

Their friendship had ended the same second the sorting hat had sorted him into Gryffindor. Bellatrix had no choice but break their contact, since he now was a blood-traitor, according to her family. Half of her knew that he was a blood-traitor and that she shouldn't even talk with him, but the other half of her said that it was ridiculous. Oh yes, Bellatrix was a very confused girl.
"Sirius, our friendship ended when you were sorted into Gryffindor and I was sorted into Slytherin."
"Bella, why are you letting that come between our great friendship? Why are you letting something as silly as houses come between us?" He sighed and reached for her hand again, and this time, she did not back away, she let him take her hand and pull her closer, because she knew that deep inside she didn't want anything else. Bellatrix couldn't deny it anymore, their friendship had been more than just a friendship to her. The past five years that she had been in Hogwarts, seeing him everyday but not been able to talk with him had killed her slowly from the inside. Just a little bit that she hardly even had noticed, but when she was standing there in front of him she realized how much it had killed her, and apparently it had killed him too.

Bellatrix was no fool, she knew it was wrong but she just couldn't stop her heart from beating faster at the sight of him, it was impossible. She shook her head and looked at him with a small sign of sadness in her eyes, then down at her hand in his and spoke calmly
"Sirius I...I don't know what to say." She sighed and kept looking at their hands, trying to remain calm. He squeezed her hand gently and spoke with a soft voice
"You could start with telling me what you really want, tell me the truth Bella." Bellatrix frowned slightly, feeling frustrated. She didn't want to have this conversation with him, why was he making this so hard? She couldn't tell him the truth, she didn't even believe the truth herself. Or maybe she did but she was in denial. She looked up at him, they were only inches away from each other and she felt her heart beat faster. "Sirius...I can't." She said and sighed again. "Can't what?" He asked curiously. And Bellatrix just let her heart take over the talking, she was just so tired of everything "I can't tell you, it's complicated Sirius. I just can't tell you. You made your choice the day the sorting hat put you in Gryffindor and I made mine when I was put into Slytherin. There is nothing to tell Sirius. And do you want the truth? The truth is that I'm tired of seeing you everyday and not be able to speak with you, to tell you how my day have been, the truth is that I miss the days when we were friends, I miss spending time with you. But as much as I want those days to come back, they won't. It's impossible..." She looked down, her eyes filled with tears. What the hell just happened? Had she really become so stupid? Why did she let go of herself like that?

Bellatrix cursed herself inwardly and kept looking down, her hair hiding her face and her tear filled eyes. She didn't care anymore, she wanted the old days back, the days when they could run around laughing together without being called blood-traitors or be despised by their family. She wanted the old days to come back, she wanted to have his friendship back. But it was impossible, those days were just memories now. Sirius looked at her with his eyes wide open, he didn't believe that she had just said that, and he spoke with a calm voice "Bella, dear, I've missed those days too, but mostly, I've missed...you." She kept looking down and got slightly surprised when he put his fingers under her chin and lifted her face, she looked into his eyes and he looked back, deeply into hers as she let a single tear fall down on her cheek. He removed a strand of hair from her face and dried her tear with his finger. She shivered slightly from his touch and closed her eyes. He pulled her closer and slowly wrapped his arms around her. She placed her head on his chest and kept her eyes shut, carefully wrapping her own arms around him.

She didn't believe that she really was doing this, she had broken all of her promises, but while she was standing there in his arms she felt safe, and she seriously didn't care that he was a blood-traitor. She looked up at him and found him looking down at her, their faces only a few inches away from each other. Oh how she wanted her best friend back, she wanted her soul mate back and somewhere deep inside she knew he felt the same. Slowly he leaned down towards her and pressed his lips onto hers, she closed her eyes and kissed him back softly. She moved her hands to his chest and gripped his shirt, deepening the kiss slightly, and when he responded with the same enthusiasm she understood that she really still cared about him. Maybe she cared more than she should, but in that moment it wasn't important, in that moment she felt free for the first time in five years. That part that had been killed inside of her had been revived and had come back to life.

And they stood there, in what seemed like hours and shared a magical kiss that seemed to comfort and heal them both, it payed for the last five years that they had been apart. They didn't even break the kiss when tears started to roll down on Bellatrix's cheeks, Sirius just held her closer and kissed her with more passion. It was like they were in a bubble where nothing else mattered, if only they were standing together. But then there was a sound that made their magical bubble explode.

'Click' it said, and it didn't stop.

'Click, click, click'

Bellatrix and Sirius broke the kiss and looked around, and when they saw where the sound had came from it was like someone had dropped a big stone on Bellatrix's stomach. It was Selena and Brianna, they were standing in front of them and they each held a camera, and they were both turned towards Bellatrix and Sirius. In that moment Bellatrix knew that she could never have her soul mate back and that life itself was going to become a living hell...

Bellatrix came back to reality, her sisters had fallen asleep with their wands in their hands. She assumed that they had probably been playing. She thought back at the day when Selena and Brianna had sent the pictures of her and Sirius kissing to the Daily Prophet. Although they had been threatened and even been offered all kinds of things, just if they destroyed the pictures, but they hadn't listened and the day after the pictures had been sent had been a nightmare.

The article was horrible, saying that Bellatrix and Sirius were secret lovers and that it was a scandal that someone like Bellatrix had done that. It was a big scandal yes, but Bellatrix didn't care as long as no one knew, but now when the article was out and the rumors were spreading faster than ever, she needed it to stop. Photographers followed her everywhere she went, they asked questions and took pictures. And there was a picture and a little article about her or/and Sirius in the Daily Prophet almost everyday.

Selena and Brianna hadn't gotten away with it easily, they had both followed her to the seventh floor and Bellatrix had cursed them and threatened them so badly that they now were too scared to even look at her in the corridors.

She sighed and kept looking out of the window. She had denied it over and over again but no one believed in her. The kiss had felt good, yes, but it was wrong and she had promised herself and her family that she would end it all. She had a plan, but it was going to be the most painful thing she's ever been through. She would break him but she would break herself too. But it had to be done. For her family's sake, for their reputation. She had to clean up this mess even if it was going to be one of the hardest things she's ever done. She closed her eyes again and saw his face in front of her.

Soon the train started to slow down and Narcissa and Andromeda woke up. They all changed to their school robes and waited for the train to completely stop. After a half an hour Bellatrix was sitting in a carriage that was moving towards the castle. Towards the man she was about to break. And in that moment Bellatrix knew that there was no turning back.