Ok this has been in my head since I saw the first promo for Big Time Break Up, but I just wanted to finish my story first then write it. Well here it is.

"Kendall, wake up!" A sing song voice said waking me from my slumber.

"Wake up Kendall!" Nope!

"Kendall…" Bite me!

"Kendall!" Ugh fine!

"I'm up," I said now up but my eyes are still closed. "Now what do you want, can't I sleep?"

"Sorry can't let you do that." The voice said.

"Why?" I asked whining, digging myself deeper into my pillow.

"Because I wasted my precious time making breakfast, and you are going to eat it." The voice said taking my blankets away.

"Alright, I'm up." I said finally opening my eyes.

I see that the voice is James. My best friend, band mate, and…

"Good now hurry up." He said kissing me before leaving the room.

My boyfriend.

"Fine, I'm coming." I said walking after him.

James and I have been dating for a long time. A year tomorrow to be exact.

When I walk into the kitchen, I see a whole buffet on the island. There are eggs, pancakes, bacon, and muffins.

"Whoa James," I said baffled. "You cooked all this?"

"Well almost," He said putting his arm around me. "I bought the muffins. Everything else though, I made."

"How long did this take?" I asked, still looking at the food.

"A while, but I was up at like 7 and couldn't go back to sleep. So I just cooked for my amazing boyfriend. Besides it took only like 3 hours." James said kissing my cheek.

"You do realize that our anniversary is not until tomorrow right?" I asked making sure.

"Yeah I know." He said.

"Then what is the occasion?" I asked gesturing to the food.

"No occasion, just wanting to make my baby happy today. Also just to be a good boyfriend." He said kissing me.

I'm not stupid. I know why he did this. You see today is the two year anniversary of when Jo left for New Zealand. So to make sure I'm not sad, James is trying to make sure I forget this day. What he doesn't realize is that I'm over her and so, completely, into him.

"James, I know what you're doing." I said getting away from his grasp.

"What do you mean?" He asked innocently.

"I know you're trying to make me forget about the anniversary of Jo leaving." I said bluntly.

"Ok you caught me," He admitted. "I just don't want you to be sad today. I know how much you love her and I wanted you to forget."

"Hey," I said bringing his hanging head up to meet my eyes. "I loved her ok? LOVED, ED past tense ok? I'm not even sure if that was love anyway. I love you, and no day is going to change that. With you, I know its love because every time I look at you or even think about you, my stomach flips in ways that I hate. You make me feel things that I never felt with her. So don't worry about trying to make me happy on a stupid day. As long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

I then kissed him for reassurance. I really do love him.

"Alright, I know now," He said pulling apart from our kiss. "By the way, I love you too."

"I know." I grinned.

"Well let's not waste all this food I made." He said.

"Wouldn't dream of it." I said grabbing his hand and leading him to the food.

We got our breakfast and sat down at the table. James and I have been inseparable since we got together. I remember that day so well. Actually it was two days and really messy…

It's the year anniversary of Jo leaving. To say I'm depressed is a bit of an understatement. I have not left my room all day and its 4 already. I've only come out for pee breaks and food, but it wasn't much food even. I just miss her so much!

You see, we lost touch as the year went on. The first four months were amazing. We called, texted, and face timed all the time. After that though, it all got less frequent. By the seven month mark, we spoke only a couple times a week. By ten months, it was only a couple times a month. Now though, it's nothing. We don't talk at all. I'm not sure if this is a break up or just a break. All I know is that this sucks so much. I love her so much. I don't get why she can't see that.

Everyone tried to be optimistic about it, but it didn't work. She is still gone and my heart is still broken.

"Hey man, you alright?" James said walking into the room.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled under the covers on my bed.

"Come on man," He said sitting on our bed. "It's not that bad."

"Oh yeah?" I asked sarcastically. "Have you ever gotten your heart broken by someone who left you out to dry, and then stops making contact with you."

"Yes I did actually." He answered.

"Really now?" I asked sitting up angrily. "By whom may I ask?"

"My dad for a stupid 25 year-old woman who stole him. Then went off and had his own family and forgot that he has another son who is living his dream. Then again why would he care about that son of his when he can cut him off and have another son who isn't a fag." James said looking down at his hands.

I winced. James doesn't like talking about his dad. It's kind of off limits, a forbidden rule to bring that 'bastard' up as James would call him. Mr. Diamond really is a bastard though. It's no secret that James is gay. He came out to everyone when he was 14. Everyone was so accepting of it…well not everyone. When his dad found out, he cut James out of his life and focused on his 'perfect', gay-free, life. He's such a jerk for doing that, but it's not the same.

"I know that sucked James, but it isn't the same thing." I said.

"What?" He asked, venom in his voice.

"It's not the same thing I'm going through." I repeated.

"You know what Kendall?" James asked sarcastically. "Go ahead a wallow in your self pity, because I really do NOT care anymore."

Then he got up and left the room, not without slamming the door shut first. Why does he have to be so dramatic? I don't get it. Can't he see that it. Whatever, he can go fuck himself.

I stay in bed until 11 and then I sneak out. It's pretty easy to sneak out and considering everyone are heavy sleepers. Now time to get completely wasted. If I can't cry my problems away, then I can drink them away.

I decided to walk back into the apartment at around two. I'm not really that wasted, just a little tipsy. I made into my room without being noticed. I would have gotten away with it if my roommate didn't stay up and wait for me.

"Nice of you to come home." James said sitting on his bed, arms crossed.

"What's it to you." I semi slurred.

"The fact that my best friend just walked in drunk actually." He barked.

"I'm not drunk." I said crossing my arms.

"Fine you're tipsy," He rolled his eyes. "Either way you went out drinking."

"It took my mind off of the anniversary!" I barked back.

"News flash Kendall." He said getting up. "That was two hours ago ok!"

"Oh, sorry." I said sarcastically.

"I'm just worried about you Kendall." James said in a softer tone.

"Well don't be." I said.

"I can't Kendall; I care about you too much." He said.

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because you're my best friend." James said.

"No there is more to that" I said narrowing my eyes.

I may be tipsy, but I can still think clearly. I know something is going on with James. Why he is always up my ass with shit and 'caring' so much.

"No there isn't." James said looking down.

"You're lying. Now tell me!" I demanded.

"Stop!" He yelled.

"No, now tell me!"

"I can't."

"Yes you can!"

"No I can't, now please don't."

"Tell my James, now!"

"Don't-"

"Threaten you? I will! Now tell I need to know!"

"You need to know so fucking badly, then fine!"

Next thing I know his lips are on mine. I didn't respond, but didn't pull back. It actually feels…good? All of the sudden he pulled back.

"There happy," He spat bitterly. "I like you, Kendall. Happy I finally told you. Now if you excuse me, I'll sleep on the couch."

Just as he was about to leave, I grab his arm to prevent him.

"Fine, you can hit me." He said as I grabbed his arm.

I didn't hit him though, I kissed him. He actually kisses back. It feels, well to be honest, electric. Everything inside me suddenly goes on fire and butterflies just fill my stomach. Unfortunately, he pulls back again.

"Don't tell me you like me too." James said.

"I don't know honestly," I said truthfully. All I do know is that I liked it, a lot. And I got these butterflies in my stomach. And for some reason, you have never looked more attractive than you do now."

"So does this mean, we can be together?" He asked timidly.

"Yeah, let's try this and see what happens ok?" I asked grabbing his hands.

"Ok." James said smiling

That may have been the best decision I have ever made. Only six months after that, I told him that I love him and he repeated it. That might have been the happiest day of my life.

My thoughts got interrupted, when a piece of bacon got thrown at me.

"That got your attention." James said looking at me.

"What?" I asked confused.

"I've been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes now." James said.

"Oh sorry, just got caught up in my thoughts." I said apologizing.

"Oh you're thinking now, that isn't a good sign." He said jokingly.

I just scoffed and threw my muffin at him.

"You're going to pay for that, Kendall." James said.

"You're going to have to catch me first." I said running out the apartment door.

He chases me all the way down to the lobby. When I thought I lost him, he grabbed me from behind.

"You got me, now what are you going to do with me?" I teased.

"Well for starters, I can do this." He said leaning down to kiss.

I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. We were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. We pulled apart ready to give this person hell. I turn around and I am just shocked.

"Jo?"

"Jo what are you doing here?" I asked in shock, breaking my embrace with James. "I thought you were shooting for three years."

"Um I got off a year early," She explained uncomfortably. "Turns out they didn't need me for the whole three years."

"Oh that's great." I said unsure.

"Yeah I guess." She said looking anywhere but me.

Ok you can literally feel the awkward in the air.

"So I think I'm going to go check into my room now." She said picking up her bags and leaving the lobby.

"Oh my god, please tell me this didn't happen." I said turning around to James.

I see that James has tears in his eyes.

"James…" I said concerned.

"So are you going back to her?" He asked.

"I-I don't know, I'm confused and can we talk about this later?" I asked walking away.

I don't know what to do. I'm stuck between my past love and my current love. When I saw her, all those feelings I had came back. Then I saw James and it broke my heart and I wanted to hold him forever. Ugh I'm so confused!

All of the sudden, my phone signals that I got a text.

'We need to talk

-Jo'

Oh boy, guess it's now or never.

I'm here standing at Jo's door, too afraid to knock. I have to though, to clear things with her. I finally get the courage to knock. Finally Jo answers.

"Uh come in Kendall." She said making room for me to enter.

"Hey Jo." I said sitting on her couch.

"Hi." She said timidly.

"So I guess we need to talk." I said.

"Oh yeah." She said sitting next to me.

"Look about what you saw-" I start.

"Yeah you kissing someone else, James for that matter." She interrupted.

"Yeah um…James is my boyfriend." I said timidly.

"You have got to be kidding me." She said in disbelief.

"Nope, we're together." I said looking at my hands.

"How?" She asked.

I told her the whole story, I even told her about when we said 'I love you' to each other.

"Wow." She said looking past me.

"Yeah." I said looking down.

"But Kendall," She starts. "We have never, officially, broken up."

"I know but it just happened." I explained

"So the question is…do you still love me?" She asked.

"I-I don't know." I said looking down again.

"Do you still have feelings for me then?" She asked hurt.

I looked into her eyes.

"Yeah I do." I admit.

"I'll take it," She said taking my hands. "How about we start over? We can be together again, like we should be."

"What about James?" I asked.

"Break up with him so you can be with me." She said with pleading eyes.

"I don't know," I said taking my hands back and standing up. "I got to go."

"Don't leave before giving me something." She said coming after me.

I stop at the door and think for a second. I take a deep breath before turning around.

"Fine," I said. "Tonight at 11 I'll make my decision between you and James."

"Why so long?" She asked.

"Trust me, I'm going to need that long." I said before leaving.

It's only about 11 right now, so I have 12 hours to make my decision. This is going to be hard.

I walk into the apartment to find Carlos and Logan eating the breakfast James made.

"Hey dude," Carlos said.

"Hi, have you seen James?" I asked.

"He went in your room," Logan said pointing to the door. "He seems pretty down."

"Ok thanks." I said feeling guilt.

I walk into our room to see James face down in our bed (couple months ago, we got rid of our separate beds to get one big one).

"James?" I asked timidly.

I see his whole body go still.

"What?" He asked with a broken voice.

"Baby, please look at me." I plead.

"What so you can break up with me?" He asked bitterly.

"No, I'm not here to break up with you." I said softly.

"Fine." He says sitting up.

I see he has tears running down his face.

"If you're not here to break up with me, what are you here for?" He asked sadly.

"To tell you something." I said sitting next to him.

"Yes…" He said shyly.

"Even though I'm not breaking up with you…I still haven't made a decision of who I'm being with." I said looking down.

"So there is still a 50% chance that I'll lose you?" He asked, voice breaking.

I just nod.

I didn't hear a respond. All I hear is James running out of the apartment. Probably crying…I'm on a role today.

I think all day about my decision. It's 5 and I still don't have a clue who I'm picking. I think about all the times I had with Jo, and all the times I had with James also. I know I love James, but my feelings for Jo are strong also. Why can't my life ever be simple?

To take my mind off things, I decide to watch some hockey on TV.

"Hey Kendall." James said, surprisingly cheery.

"Uh hey James." I said confused.

"Look I thought about it and I just want to say something." He said sitting next to me.

"Go ahead." I said curiously.

"I just want to say that no matter what decision you make, I still want to be best buds." He said putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Really?" I asked in shock.

"Yeah I do Kendall." He said looking me in the eye.

"Thanks James," I said. "That means a lot."

"No problem bud. But since you haven't made your decision yet, I'm here to help you." James said smirking.

"How?" I asked confused.

"This." He simply said before kissing me.

He kisses me with all the passion he has. I respond by kissing back and falling back onto the couch, James climbing onto of me. We start a mini make out session, before he pulls away.

"Hope this helped." He said before kissing me one more time then leaving.

I honestly think it did. I then got up and headed to Jo's apartment. I know how I'm going to make my decision now. Once I get there, I knock franticly. As soon as she opened the door, I kiss her. I kiss her all the passion I have. She kisses back but I pull away before it goes any farther.

"What was that for?" She asked smiling.

"To help with my decision," I said looking at her. "I'll see you at 11 Jo."

Yep, I definitely know who I'm choosing now.

It's 11 now and I'm at the pool waiting for Jo and James to get here. I managed to get a rose between my decision and being here, so now I'm waiting. Eventually they got here at like 11:30 which pisses me off but I rub it off. I deserve it for causing all this shit.

"So obviously," I started. "I made my decision."

They just stood there.

"Before I say anything, just know you're both wonderful and amazing. I will still care for both of you no matter what. You both gave me such amazing times and memories."

Again, they just stood there.

"The person I truly love and want to be with for a long time in the future is…"

I take a deep breath before just saying it.

"…James."

As soon as I said that, James' face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Really?' He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah really." I said.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I realize that I'm so in love with you and that isn't going to change. Plus, and don't get mad, when I kissed both of you, James you were the one that made my heart stop. You were the one that made a stomach flip and my breath stop short. You're my one and only." I explained giving him the rose.

He gladly accepted and hugged me tightly. When we pull apart, I see how upset Jo looks.

"Jo, can I talk to you?" I asked.

She just nodded and follows me.

"I just want you to know to not give up ok? You'll find someone who will treat you right. You're a great girl Jo." I said.

I kiss her cheek and walk back to my boyfriend. I walk right up to him and pull him into a passionate kiss. He responded eagerly and soon our kiss was a battle for dominance.

"Our room now." I said breaking from our kiss.

He just nods and leads me to our room. He pushes me onto our bed and climbs on top of me.

"Oh by the way," He says. "Happy anniversary babe."

I look at our clock and it reads 12. I look at him and smile.

"Happy anniversary," I say kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

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