Chapter 2: Control freak

"Major Lorne, this is Sheppard, do you read me?"

There was no warning static, just the voice of his CO sounding for all the world like he was standing in the same room with Evan.

"Yes Sir," Lorne straightened from his relaxed pose, careful not to wake Jennifer before he knew for sure they were about to be rescued. "Nice of you to call Colonel – I was beginning to think no one had noticed our absence."

"Oh, we noticed all right," Sheppard returned. "It just took McKay a while to break through the shielding around that room you found Major."

"So you can let us out Sir?" Lorne asked hopefully.

"Not exactly," Sheppard replied. "Rodney decided it would be faster to restore power to your location than for us to try to get to you from the outside. Carson has a medical team waiting out in the corridor. All you have to do is open the door."

"Right, because that worked so well for me a couple of hours ago," Lorne muttered.

"Is there a problem Major?" Sheppard asked.

"Ah … no Sir," Lorne replied.

"Tell him he has power," McKay's voice in the background announced briskly. "He'll have to use the console in the room, override the lockdown and the doors should open automatically."

"Did you get that Major?"

"Yes Sir. Any chance you can give me some light?"

"Can you switch on the lights?" Sheppard asked McKay.

"Same console."

Lorne groaned and then took a deep breath. "Stand by," he said, loosening his arms and gently shaking Jennifer. "Doc," he said quietly.

Jennifer stirred, rubbing her face against his shirt in a way that had him smiling in the darkness. "Jennifer," he said again.

He knew the moment she was fully awake because she stiffened, pushing her head away from him. "Are we being rescued?" she asked in a voice husky from sleep.

"Almost," he revealed. "They've restored power but we're under some kind of lockdown that has to be switched off from inside."

"Okay," she didn't move though and Lorne found himself grinning again.

"Ah Doc … I need to get up."

"Oh!" Jennifer scrambled off his lap like it was on fire – he was sure that if he could see her face it would be too. "Sorry," she said weakly.

"It's not a problem," Lorne reassured her, standing up. "It's colder than McMurdo during the off season and you just woke up - it's understandable you might not be quite with it."

"I bet you're always 'with it' when you wake up, no matter where you are," Jennifer muttered under her breath. She was irritable because she'd just spent a few hours stuck in the dark having to share warmth with someone she barely knew so Evan decided to cut her some slack and ignore her comment.

"O-kay, let's see what we have," Lorne made his way to the console, going a bit faster this time because he'd done the trip twice already. Putting his hands on the device he could tell immediately that McKay had been true to his word. There was definitely power humming under the surface, waiting for him to access it.

"Lights," Evan thought, not surprised when nothing happened. He tried simple first - just thinking "lock down off" at the thing. When that didn't work he got a little more detailed in what he was thinking, still to no avail.

"Is something wrong Major?" Colonel Sheppard had obviously been expecting a successful report by then.

"Ah, no Sir, not exactly," Lorne replied. "I'm just having a little trouble getting the lockdown disabled."

"Be forceful Major," McKay advised like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"Sure, no problem … just be forceful," Lorne muttered, closing his eyes and trying again. "Damn it," he slapped a hand down on the console before turning away,

"Evan," Jennifer's quiet voice wasn't what he wanted to hear right then, not when he was trying to rescue her and doing a dismal job of it.

"What?" he demanded, regretting his curt tone as soon as he'd used it. "Sorry Doc," he apologised immediately. "This is just … really frustrating, you know?"

"Without having the gene myself I can't imagine how it's supposed to work," Jennifer began, her voice moving closer until he knew she was standing beside him. "What does occur to me though, after what you said earlier about your reaction as soon as you transported into the city, is that maybe you're fighting the gene instead of embracing it."

"I'm not. I really want this to work," Evan countered.

"I know you do," Jennifer put her hand over his, the icy feel of her skin increasing the guilt that he hadn't gotten her free the minute it had been possible.

"Then what are you saying, because right now I'm pretty much an open book," Lorne said grimly.

"It must be hard to give up some of your control," Jennifer commented almost casually, "especially to something you never asked for that we're only just starting to understand."

"I ah … I guess," Evan agreed, not sure where she was going with this.

"You strike me as the kind of man who's always in control," Jennifer continued.

"It goes with the territory," Evan dismissed.

"Does it?" Jennifer questioned. "Because Colonel Sheppard is career military too and he's never had trouble utilising the ATA gene, as far as we know anyway. You know, initially Carson couldn't even get the command chair to power up. Do you know why?"

"Because he was scared of it," Evan replied. "He didn't want to be responsible for wielding that much power."

"Exactly," Jennifer said approvingly. "And because of that he altered what the gene should have been able to do for him – because he really didn't want to operate the chair. Here on Atlantis though, with all the medical devices all powered by the gene, he's never had a single problem."

"Because he wants to use those devices," Evan finished because he knew that's what she was expecting from him. "So what you're saying is I'm not getting this device to work because deep down I don't want it to?"

"Your case is a little more complex."

Jennifer sounded more alert than she had since it had gotten really cold, fired up with her intellectual 'light bulb' moment, no doubt. Evan wasn't sure he really wanted to hear her conclusions about him but it wasn't like he had a choice. "How so?" he asked reluctantly.

"I suspect your gene is stronger than Carson's," Jenn explained. "You can suppress it but it's taking a toll on you, giving you negative feedback all the time. You're used to being in control and the idea of giving up that control to something you don't understand has you subconsciously rejecting it."

"Yeah, well I'm all for accepting it now Doc," Evan said sarcastically, feeling the urge to squirm at her assessment of his personality. Because she was right – he did like being in control. There was nothing wrong with that – it was what made him the officer he was, and it had saved his life too many times to count. But being in control wouldn't save him tonight, and it wouldn't save her either. "Got any suggestions?"

"Let go," Jennifer squeezed his hand, both encouraging him and urging him to action.

"Let go," Evan repeated uncertainly. "Just like that?"

"Just like that," Jennifer repeated encouragingly.

"Right," closing his eyes because it seemed a necessary part of the whole 'let go' deal, Evan tried to switch off his thoughts – or just ignore them since he'd never been good at the 'clear your mind' exercise. At once he became more aware of what was surrounding him – not the room he stood in or the woman who stood beside him but the city itself. He could hear it, the machinery that ran its systems and the buzz of whatever it was that made it possible for anyone with the ATA gene to operate it. As he listened he realised that it was calling to him in a way, that it wanted him to use what it could offer him. Not in an animate way – it was just a city, not a living entity; but there was no doubt the Ancients had designed the city in such a way as to encourage its inhabitants to utilise it. He'd picked up on that 'encouragement' from the moment he'd set foot in the city – he just hadn't taken the time to label it as such.

Lorne wasn't sure later what he did exactly, just that he let some barrier he'd been holding inside fall away. An increased awareness rushed through him but it wasn't intrusive as part of him had feared it would be. It was just something that was there, in the background – an ability like being able to fly an F302 or paint a landscape. And it made him realise that he hadn't felt that distracting negative feedback the instance he'd set foot on Atlantis. That had happened a few seconds later, after he'd felt the same rush of awareness he was feeling right now and ruthlessly acted to shut it off. There was a disturbing aspect to it, one he'd have to get used to until his ATA gene became second nature, just like all the other genes that made him who he was.

Thinking the lockdown off was ridiculously easy after that revelation. The lights came on, stabbing into Evan's eyes after so many hours of darkness. The door swished open too, letting in Doctor Carson Beckett and a small medical team.

"Aye, ye weren't jokin' about the temperature in here, were ye lad?" Carson commented, moving quickly towards them.

"Check Doctor Keller first," Evan insisted, moving aside to make room.

He shared a brief look with Jennifer, nodding when she smiled at him, relief and approval shining from her eyes. Tapping his radio he spoke briskly. "This is Lorne. The lockdown is disabled – Doctor Beckett's team is looking after Doctor Keller. We should be ready to head to the infirmary shortly."

"Good to hear Major," Sheppard replied. "Any damage Doc?"

"No Colonel," Carson replied, looking at the Ancient medical scanner he was using. "Doctor Keller has mild hypothermia, the Major most likely as well. I can tell you something else - it's colder than Christmas in the Highlands down here!"

Sheppard laughed.

"We'll have to keep Major Lorne and Doctor Keller overnight in the infirmary," Carson continued. "Apply heat compresses, get some fluids into them. They should both be good as new within a couple of days."

"That's good news Doc," Sheppard returned. "Major – do what the Doc tells you. We'll debrief as soon as he clears you for duty."

"Yes Sir," Lorne replied. "Tell Doctor McKay I said thanks for the assist."

"Will do. Sheppard out."

oOo

It was early morning before Lorne finally reached the point where he could relax enough to sleep. After hours where he thought he'd never feel truly warm again the urge to shake with one massive, continuous shiver had finally left him. The infirmary was still darkened for night conditions, although Evan noticed Doctor Beckett had thoughtfully left a nearby light on in their section of the infirmary. After being stuck in the dark for so long he was less than keen to repeat the experience, even if it helped him get some much need sleep.

Glancing over at the bed next to him he saw that Jennifer looked better too – that pale, cool colour her skin had taken on had been replaced with a warmer peach that drew attention to her delicate features. He'd been right … she was a very attractive woman … and he should so not be thinking about that right now … or ever really. Thinking about anyone he worked with like that would only get him into trouble in the long run.

And then Jennifer opened her eyes and caught him staring at her. Instead of looking annoyed or embarrassed she gave him the sweetest smile and he forgot about why he should return to the calm reserve he always exhibited with others and just smiled back.

"You look better," she commented, shifting to sit up a little.

"So do you," he replied.

They just sat there looking at each other for untold moments before Lorne realised what he was doing and looked away.

"I'm sorry Major," Jennifer said softly, drawing his attention back to her.

"Major?" he queried, disappointed she'd fallen back into ranks, even with what he'd just been thinking about distance and reserve.

"Evan," she smiled.

"What do you have to be sorry about?" Evan queried. "I wouldn't be sitting here all warm and cosy without your help."

"Really?" Jennifer looked ridiculously pleased with his assessment.

"Really," he confirmed simply.

"So you're not mad?" she asked hesitantly."

"Because you called me a control freak?" Evan asked blandly, watching as she nodded once, looking down at her bed sheets instead of him. "I'm not mad," he said sincerely. "What you said needed to be said … if I hadn't let up we'd still be down there. And the good news is I don't have that itch I can't scratch feeling anymore."

"Oh," Jennifer looked almost disappointed at that and he had to laugh.

"Yeah, you'll have to find yourself another lab rat for those tests you were planning," he told her teasingly.

"I wasn't … I was just …," she took a breath and started again. 'I think your experience and what you did to resolve it would still be helpful to others."

"And it's lucky you were there because now you can tell that story from firsthand experience," Evan said firmly. She looked deflated at that and he grimaced before giving in – just a little. "Listen, if you need to test somebody – for genuine research Jennifer, approved by Doctor Weir and the SGC and anyone else that needs to approve it – ask me. If I have time I'll consider helping you."

"Gee, could you be any more noncommittal about that?" Jennifer complained.

"I could just stick with a blanket 'No'," he retorted blandly.

"Right," she regrouped, "then I accept your gracious offer Major … Evan."

He nodded. "You should get some more sleep," he told her. "Doctor Beckett won't be impressed if he finds us both awake."

"True," Jennifer shifted until she was lying down again. Evan did the same and silence reigned for a time.

Evan thought she'd fallen back asleep until she spoke. "Thank you … for what you did down there. You know – the warmth and the … the comfort."

"You're welcome," he replied, strangely touched that she felt the need to thank him.

She was quiet for a few more minutes … he was at the point of drifting off this time when she spoke again. "I don't like the dark."

"I know." It hadn't taken much for him to realise the darkness itself was the biggest part of the ordeal for her. "I'm sorry I got you stuck down there for so long."

"You made it bearable."

He hesitated for a moment but honesty and her openness compelled him to offer something of himself too. "I ah … I don't like failing people I'm responsible for."

"I know," Jennifer returned his words as gently as he'd said them to her. "You didn't fail – not when it had to count."

"You ah … you made that bearable too," he admitted.

"Then I guess we're both lucky," Jennifer said.

"How so?"

"Well … I could have sent Nurse Rogers instead of taking that call myself." Evan looked across and saw the smirk on her face and just knew there was more to that statement. "She's twice your size and has the disposition of a cranky bear."

"Yeah, and I could have sent Sergeant Meyers," Lorne retorted. "He's a hard arse Marine with a 'pain, what pain?' attitude and a face that hasn't seen a smile since the early eighties."

"Maybe we should get them together," Jennifer joked. "They sound perfect for each other."

"Now there's an idea," Evan agreed, a smirk playing over his lips.

"And maybe I should put you in the isolation ward," Carson said sternly, striding from his office towards them. "In separate rooms … alone. Maybe then you'd follow doctor's orders and get some bloody sleep!"

"Sorry Carson," Jennifer said meekly.

"We were just about to go to sleep, right Doc?" Lorne raised a brow at Jennifer expectantly.

"That's right Major," she replied, turning to Carson with an appealing smile.

"Very well … but that's yer last warning," Carson gave each of them a pointed look and then pointed at their pillows. "Sleep."

Lorne waited until he'd disappeared through his office door before speaking. "Sweet dreams Jennifer."

"You too Evan."

The End!