Hello! This story has been taken on again and updated. If you would like, you can read the new and improved "My Stupid Fiance" here!

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MY STUPID FIANCE 3.0
chapter 1

(April 2029)

Without a doubt in her body, Rose Weasley hated weddings.

She hated them all and everything about them. She hated how much they cost, mentally, physically, emotionally. And God and Merlin know, financially and they were incredibly sexist in nature. She had to wear white to show she was a virgin or everyone would judge her. Her father gets to give her away, like she's a puppy in his litter and he owns her. . It was a stupid practice for people to show each other off to other miserable people and honest to, she just hated them all.

More than anything, Scorpius Malfoy hated weddings.

He hated the way people pretend to be in love. Because then they scream and fight behind closed doors and it's all a waste because you're going to get divorced anyway. Like they're worried people will see through their happy couple facade and they'll be forced to be real with each other, and it's not good at all to be bound to someone for the rest of their life, it isn't natural.

These are probably one the last two people on Earth you'd expect to get married.

Probably.

"Not again, Mother." Rose whined, on the phone. Her friend Parvani shook her head, amused and obviously laughing into her cup of tea. Rose sent her a withering glare and Parvani shrugged, flopping herself on Rose's brand new couch, smiling around at her friend's new house.

"No, I don't want to meet your boss's son... because it's weird! We're co-workers. He's... no, not him. Merlin, he's such a pervert! Mother! Ok... okay... I know Mum... bye. Okay, I'll be there. Mum! Thank you and goodbye." Rose hung up the phone, and let out a frustrated yell, sipping her cup of coffee, practically inhaling it. She let out a sigh and settled back on the couch with her best friend.

Parvani smirked. "Mummy still want you to get a man?" she teased, pinching Rose's cheeks.

Rose rolled her eyes. "What else is new?" she swatted her hands away, sighing. "Not all of us can find love like theirs, and that quickly. I mean, they've known each other for over 20 years."

Parvani smiled shyly. "Well..."

Rose gave her an excited look. "What? Did they get a new coffee machine at work? Because this... is awful." Rose says, making a face at her horrid coffee, sometimes she thinks Dominique needed to stick to baking and not coffee. Out of loyalty, she still drank it every day, while Parvani always insisted she drink more of tea. Tea just didn't have enough kick for her.

"Rosie... you know Albus and I have been together since... fifth year right?" Parvani stated, biting her lip anxiously and Rose nodded, wondering where this conversation would lead.

"Yes…?" Rose said, smiling at her very best friend. Her friend smiled back nervously, holding up her left hand. Rose looked at it quizzically before realizing the huge diamond rock placed on her ring finger that she had managed to miss completely somehow.

Oh God.

"He proposed?" she said, genuinely shocked, sitting up on her couch. This was sudden, unexpected, more so than anything, especially from Al. "Really?"

Parvani nodded, biting her lip to contain herself. "We were in the middle of an argument over his desire to build a Quidditch pitch in our backyard when all of a sudden, he kissed me and proposed and I couldn't say no."

Rose wrinkled her nose. "To the Quidditch pitch?"

Parvani giggled. "Shut up, Rose. I'm getting married!"

"Scorp, I did it." Al said, his voice clearly indicating that he was smiling. Oh man. Scorpius rolled himself off his bed as Al busted into his flat. He regretted giving Albus a spare key in that moment. He trudged out of his room to meet his best friend in the kitchen, where he looked like he was vibrating off pure happiness.

"Made the biggest mistake of Vani's life." Scorpius shook his head and prepared his coffee, black. Al shoved him, still grinning like a madman. Scorpius rolled his eyes. Poor, naive little Albus. He'll never know. Love was a big mistake, and getting married was a bigger one, two mistakes he was quite keen on never making ever again.

"Where's the lucky lady?" he grunted, sarcastically, walking out of his kitchen and settling on his couch. Al smiled wistfully and Scorpius had to stifle a gag.

"She's with Rose, for their daily coffee date." Al said dreamily, as if Parvani was a perfect goddess and everything right in the world. It made him want to puke. Scorpius felt bad for his friend and gulped down his coffee.

It'll probably take the edge off the whole mess this was bound to become.

(February 2030)

She hated weddings so bloody much. Here she was in some stupid Grand Hall on Valentine's Day of all days, celebrating her stupid cousin's stupid wedding, with itchy pinned up hair, watching James and Fred attempt to do something called the Macarena and ugh.

Rose looked down at the traditional Indian wedding garb that Parvani and Roxanne had to shove her in. Excuse her attitude because the whole outfit was quite pretty and colorful but right now, she hated it. She hated everything. She hated that it took six whole entire months of her life to help prepare for one bloody evening, where her cousin and her best friend get to gloat about with their happiness. She hated it all.

Rose sat down at an empty table, glaring at Parvani and Al dancing like they had not a care in the world what she hated because this was their bloody wedding. Rose humphed.

He hated weddings. He hated them in every way. They were silly and obnoxious, horrible practices that seemed worse than any death penalty. He hated that poor Al had to go through this, and put Parvani through this. He took out a pack of cigarettes and took one out.

Written in Sharpie, he had written the word "Beth". He placed it back in the pack, brandishing two: one that said "Zach" and one that said "Haley". Deciding that it was appropriate for Haley to be the one to smoke off his chest, he placed it in his mouth. He brandished his lighter and set her aflame. It was a metaphor, replacing one addiction with another. One that was equally if not less harmless.

Anyway, most of all right now, he hated that his mother, Merlin that woman... decided that he shouldn't be a bachelor by now yet he was only 25. He should at least be dating someone, she said daily while his dad just sighed and tried to draw her attention away from the matter she had at hand (probably to no avail, that women could talk)

He sat in the emptiest table he could find. And since this was both the Potter family and the Jordan-Patil family were too large for their own good, even the emptiest table had a some women who were already sitting there but he couldn't give two shits about that right now. However, as he sat down one of them rolled her eyes at the couple feeding each other cake and call him crazy, but Scorpius felt a jolt... like she understood.

"You hate weddings too?" he said, looking at her. She was beautiful. Her brown dress actually complimented her hair well, her eyes were contrasting: a menacing blue. Scorpius felt a smirk tug at his lips, as she nodded vigorously, twirling her glass as the floating wine bottle tried to fill it. He smiled lightly.

"With a passion. But mum insists I shouldn't be so-"

"Single." they said in unison. She finally turned to look at him, and he shrugged. She gave him a tiny approving smile and he gave her a smirk. She raised her eyebrows.

"Mine's the same way." He said, words dripping from his mouth in full seduction mode. He would enjoy her, he thought. Someone with his so-called "commitment issues" and what he's hoping: the same loose and fast morals as he would make for a very good shag. At least something good will come from this wedding. She looked down for a second as he smirked at her. The wine bottle tried to fill his cup, but he signaled for the firewhiskey.

Rose looked over at the gift table. She sighed. "As much as they cost, they make a hell of a lot of money for these things."

"You need a hell of a lot of money?"

"Everyone needs a hell of a lot of money."

Scorpius chuckled darkly, taking in the sting of firewhiskey, breathing deeply. "Some more than others." Rose looked down at her dress.

It was a week before the wedding. Rose and Parvani went back to Rose's house, her first house. She loved this house. She loved all the colors she got to put on the wall, all the paintings and pictures, and the furniture... she had a soft spot for it. She had worked hard to get this house, no handouts from Uncle Harry, no interference from her family. She had scrapped and saved and fought for everything in that house.

But when they stepped in, Rose shrieked.

Empty.

Completely and utterly empty, no furniture, or anything. Her pictures were still up, her clothes still there but everything was gone! Rose screamed again.

Parvani looked around in shock. "I-I'm calling Al and James, they'll-"

"They'll what! My house... Parvani!" Rose said, waving her arms frantically in the space where her couch used to be.

Parvani cringed. "They even took the coffee maker." she said quietly and Rose whipped her head to face the kitchen.

"What?"

Rose nodded. "Some more than others."

Scorpius looked at her. She was intent on smoothing and then folding the sash of her dress. He scratched his head, staring at her for a second. She felt his stare and a red blush rose up her neck. God, those stupid Weasley genes.

"Stop staring at me." she grumbled, looking off in the distance. He laughed lightly at her, as her blush continues to creep up her neck. He can feel her getting angrier and angrier by the second.

She was furiously pleating her dress now, wringing it in her hands.

"I can't help it." he said simply, continuing to stare at her. "It's what I do."

She snorted. "Your job is to stare at people?" She said disbelievingly, still refusing to look back at him, childishly. "What an uncomfortable one that must be."

Scorpius grinned, gulping down more firewhiskey. "You have no idea."

"Look at me Scorp." a dark voice echoed off the walls of the bar. Scorpius looked back at the man, the man he used to idolize. The man gave him a deranged, cocky smile.

"You owe me something." he whispered, his voice scratchy, his fists clenching. Scorpius drank more butterbeer, wanted to be clear-headed if he needed to fix some damage with the way this conversation was going. "732 Galleons, to be exact."

"Zach, I told you months ago. I quit." Scorpius seethed, getting annoyed.

"Not before you pay me back, you don't. Come on Scorp. Do you want to pay up or just come back to your Uncle Zach?" he said and Scorpius shuddered, the creepy man just terrified him. After what the hell he wanted him to do to that poor girl? After all the lives he's fucking ruined? He wants Scorpius to come back? Yeah, right.

"Give me some time, Zach. Then, just leave me alone. I don't... I don't even want to hear of you. Jesus, you're a freak." Scorpius glowered at the man. His face spread into a sickly grin, laughing like the creepy fuck he was.

"You have until I say so, Scorp. That's good right? Haley misses her favorite-"

Scorpius finished his butterbeer and walked out, his limp getting less and less noticeable.

He looked back at Rose.

"Too bad I don't want to get married... then my mom would probably be so ecstatic she'd pay for it…and plan it. All I'd have to do is show up, you know. Afterwards, I'd have the money to... pay off my loans." he said dancing around his Zach the Dumbass adventures. She looked at him, finally.

"And I'd be able to refurnish my house. It was robbed." she shrugged nonchalantly. Rose missed a full house though. She spent everything on that house, she treated it with love and care and it takes one dick to take that away. Lifting her glass, she shooed the wine bottle away and started on firewhiskey. So she didn't know how long it took for him to snake closer to her. He was three seats away from her on the other side right?

After a few drinks with him and a considerable amount of alcohol for her tiny body, which she downed like a pro, he hopped a chair to show her how exactly how intricate the flower detail was and how if you squinted, it looked like a little like the groom. Then he hopped a chair when spilled his drink, which made her drunk self laugh, as he and his wand failed to sop it up. And then, he hopped that final seat when she smeared her lipstick.

"Wait, you have something there." he was laughing, which made her laugh more and it frustrated him that she wasn't keeping still so he could point out what was wrong. He reached for her face and kept her steady. Rose still managed to hiccup and chuckle in a breathy tone. Scorpius reached tentatively for her bottom lip with his thumb, wiping the bright ruby red trace of makeup and the alcohol from under her chin.

"Did you get it?" Her breath smelled like the human embodiment of an open bar. He nodded slowly and could almost count the freckles on the bridge of her nose, he was that close to her.

"May I have this dance?" he asked. He was closer to her than he was before, and his tie was undone, and her shoes were on the seat next to her. He was close to her and he smelled like firewhiskey and cologne and cigarettes and something earthy. She, for all her life, couldn't distinguish exactly what it was. But it made her skin flush all over and she nodded. She didn't know Scorpius or who he was, for all she knew he was a random handsome stranger she met at her cousin's wedding. She bit her lip, looking him over and taking a deep swig of whatever was in her cup by now, she ultimately nodded.

Also Rose loved to dance. Outside of Hogwarts, ever summer she took dance classes. She used to do it because she wanted to be just like her Mum when she was five and her Grandfather and her Mum both wanted her too, but as she grew up she started to fall in love with the dancing part itself. She was talented in ballet, exquisite in tap but she truly shone when ballroom came into play. Even out of practice and a lot a bit drunk, she held the grace of a girl who once learned and competed with a paso doble routine in 15 hours.

He didn't know that of course, so when she started gliding around the dance floor with him, he was surprised at how composed she actually was. She let out a giggle after a minute, at his shock and a smile curled up and around his lips.

At the same time, Ms. Longbottom placed her contribution on the gift table, on the arm of Luna Lovegood, who had a soft spot for the old woman. Luna dropped a check on the table, smiling as the woman yelled across the Hall that her grandson better find a chair for her. As Scorpius spun Rose around, per request, she noticed and gasped.

They were close again, his lips were just centimeters away from his. They smelled like alcohol and stale perfume. Rose grinned at him slowly, as the song stopped and everyone clapped and they stopped spinning. She bit her lip. As if he wasn't already staring at them. He didn't know what part of him was talking now but he really wouldn't mind shagging this woman, right in front of children. He hoped it showed in his eyes, so she knew.

Rose cleared her throat. "Is it bad...that I really want to go home with you and I don't even know your name?" She was glad he didn't recognize her from anywhere immediately. Of course, she looked different with all this make up and this dress and the straight hair and contacts and drunk smile than she does on TV and magazines, with a Holyhead Harpies hoodie, frizzy hair, sunglasses, and no lipstick.

"Really bad," he nodded, purposefully not telling her his name. Not yet. He doesn't know if she's ever seen him on GossipWand UK. Now that he was out of Zach's hellhole, the Wizard paparazzi are on his heel nonstop. He wasn't really that interesting, but he was a new face and apparently attractive and an eligible bachelor linked to many of the young wizard celebrities in Britain, hell even some in the States. It was flattering and annoying.

He doesn't really know what happens after that, they've never really been able to piece together that night. He remembers he felt her up a bit and she might have let him handle her a little roughly. He remembers he had time to get a cigarette, one that said Beth this time. She remembers that he apparated them-drunk as her father at Christmas- and almost lost a toe. She remembers falling into a bed, he remembers her laugh as her topples over her. She remembers him teasing her, taking a hit of his cigarette every time he seemed like he was going to kiss her.

"Why do you hate weddings?" he said, as she drew lines on his face as he smoked. He flicked the cigarette bud in the direction of the window and bent his head down to the crook of her neck, breathing her in.

"Soulmates aren't real. It's a lie. There's no such thing, I think, of the shit they sell you about true love and all of that."

"So is that why you sleep around?" he whispered. She rolled her eyes and swatted at his back.

"No, asshole. I don't sleep around." There was a pregnant pause where they just laid there, coexisting and breathing each other in. Rose dragged her hand through his blonde hair, pushing it back.

"Hey... d'you wanna marry me?" Scorpius finally said, rolling away from her. He laid his head on her stomach and listened to her chuckle.

"I'm not your type." Rose sang as he tried to explain himself.

"I want to pay off my loan," he nodded, kissing her neck and collarbone in between sentences. "You want to refurnish your house. It's perfect. It's too perfect. You get the new fancy stuff, I get the money, we don't want to get married for real to someone ever, so why not marry each other. As friends, as business partners even."

"I don't even know your name." she admitted, hiccuping drunkenly. "And you haven't kissed me all night. But it's alright. Me and my coffee maker were having problems anyway."

Scorpius turned to look at her. "I fucking love coffee." he whispered.