Hey, look, it's another story in the THS canon! This time, it's a monster heatwave from hell!

Un-beta'ed, as always.

Chapter One: Vince and Orwell

- o – o -

Vince was pretty sure that he'd take the snow back any day. A week ago, there had been over five feet of snow burying Palm City. This week, it was a soul-crushing heat wave. He even took back his comment about wanting to move to Death Valley at this point. Temperatures had clocked in at 103 degrees by ten AM, and it didn't look like it was going to go down any time soon. The forecast wasn't looking so good for the next week either.

A quick look over at his partner, Orwell, told him that she was as miserable as he was—if not for the same reasons. Shortly after the temperatures had started rising, he'd unplugged all of her computers.

He'd explained—several times, in fact—that the computers were generating more heat than his coffeepot was. Orwell had sulked and proceeded to ignore him. She was mourning the loss of an internet, for the second time in as many weeks.

And somehow, Vince couldn't bring himself to care. With a groan, the vigilante pulled himself up and began fishing around for the remote to the air conditioner. He'd turned it down nearly ten times, and the lair was still stiflingly hot. One would think that, because his lair was underground (and still drying out from the snowmelt), it would be a lot cooler than it actually was.

"It's not going to help any," Orwell said, watching Vince fruitlessly punching the remote in an attempt to bring the temperature down again. She was wearing a bikini top and shorts, and she was still wilting in the heat.

"Whatever," Vince muttered sullenly, flopping back down on his bed. "How much would it cost to move to the Arctic Circle, do you think?" He heard Orwell snort, and decided to drop the issue. Right now, the Arctic Circle was looking better than Death Valley had during the freak blizzard.

He personally blamed ARK for the heat wave. Even if they weren't, he was still going to blame them because it made him a little less miserable.

"Go back to sleep Vince," Orwell muttered, before taking another pull from her water bottle. If it weren't for the fact that Vince was supposed to be dead and she was in hiding, she would have dragged both of them down to the community pool just for some relief.

Vince raised an eyebrow, and threw the remote down to the blogger. "Keep the heat down, would you?" he asked closing his eyes.

Orwell waited until she was sure he'd dozed off before reaching for one of the power cords for her computer.

"Don't even think about it, Orwell," Vince said. Orwell sighed and slouched back to the cot underneath a fan. So much for that plan…

- o - o -

Author's Note: I realize that I should be working on Insecurity or Unexpected Consequences, or even my summer homework. But right now, I'm sitting in front of the AC trying not to wilt. Here's a story.