Disclaimer: I do NOT own Harry Potter.

The Fire of the Phoenix

Overwhelmed

Once Phoenix closed her puffy green eyes and succumbed to the effects of the dreamless sleep potion, Harry - who was standing on his sister's bedside - put his hands on his head and squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his temples as if the pressure would the trigger for a reality change.

The boy's head was spinning, his thoughts were in state of chaos and his heart felt like it was ran over by Fluffy's paws over and over again. He was a failure. His sister was hurt once more, because he failed to notice - or maybe he subconsciously didn't want to accept he let her down again - that she was in danger, that the enemy was once more nearer than it should, that like a Dementor, the blond had been stripping his little sister of good memories and making her relieve the most terrible ones with just words while everyone around them was oblivious to the effects of the boy's sharp tongue.

Harry usually was able to think clearly under pressure, he had to acquire that skill to protect himself and his sister under their relatives' roof, but at that moment all the rationality went to space and the green-eyed boy was taken over by an animalistic instinct to hurt someone, to harm the obnoxious boy who hurt the most precious person Harry's ever had in his life. At that moment, Harry James Potter was capable of committing the most atrocious murder with a delighted smile on his face.

The raven-eyed boy took a step back from the bed and that was when he felt his knees buckle under the exhaustion. He felt warm hands hold him upright and pull him to something solid. Harry, who still had his eyes closed, tried to shake the hands away and get the further he could from the arms that were enclosing him. Claustrophobia was now one more thing the too-small boy was feeling, he felt like someone was choking him, as if the air was lacking oxygen. His fight or flight instinct took over his body and with he elbowed the strong person holding him still in the ribs. It bought him a second and he had his hands on the curtains around Phoenix's bed when he felt a pressure on his shoulder.

"Harry? Harry come on now. We need to talk." Remus ordered softly.

"Let me go!" Harry aggressively removed his shoulder from his godfather's grip but Remus was quick: in a blink he had turned Harry around so the boy was facing him and held him firmly in place. Harry struggled but Remus wouldn't bulge.

"We need to talk, Harry James." Remus repeated meeting Harry's distressed eyes and after a discreet gaze battle the man gently walked his godson to the bed beside his sister's and gently helped the boy on the bed. The silence was unnerving, Remus wanting to give Harry the opportunity to open himself and Harry lost in his own daymares. "A penny for your thoughts, cub?"

Harry shook his head and with a sigh the wolf-man sat beside him following the boy's gaze to the rising and deflating movement on the only girl's chest.

"Phoenix will be fine, Harry. We will…" Remus couldn't even finish the sentence before the green-eyed boy shook his head vigorously. "Listen to me, we will help her. That's a promise."

"No, Remus! You don't understand. How many times will I have to fail her until she is gone for good? My whole life it has been my job to protect her and she always forgives me for making it worse. Don't you see it? All those scars, inside and out, I should have protected her." Harry ranted wild-eyed.

"Harry - Listen to me. What happened to Phoenix was not your fault, not now and not ever. You couldn't have known what she kept for herself and Phoenix knows how to hide something as well as you do. You've done it since you were little kids." The wolf-man justified in a placating tone.

"She shouldn't have to hide from me! She used to trust me!" Harry cried and Remus was grateful for the potion that put his goddaughter in a deep sleep, otherwise there was no mistake in the way she'd wake up. "When we were little she looked at me as if I was her saviour even though I couldn't do much to help. Every time I tore a strip of my own clothes to bandage her wounds she would stare with those huge green eyes as if saying: 'what would I do without you?'." Harry's eyes filled with tears at the memory. "Now though she thinks I'm gonna hurt her! She flinched from me and she's hiding stuff. She doesn't trust me anymore. Do you know how it feels like to see her hurt? Mum jumped in front of a killing curse that was meant for me. I took mum away from Phoenix – dad tried to keep us all alive and got killed in the process. I know I can't bring them back but I have to do what dad did, I have to protect the only one left!" By the end of his speech Harry was struggling to breathe.

"Harry, cub, you are still a kid- You are, Harry and you know it. You might have been forced to be the rock from a very young age but it doesn't change the fact that you have just turned fourteen. You can't carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, cub, and you don't need to. You can't blame yourself for what happened to your sister, or your parents for the matter – you'll drown in a misplaced guilt and this family needs you. Not the hero Harry Potter or the rock but the boy. Being a family is all about support and you don't think Sirius and I noticed this summer that you seem to put everyone's necessities over yourself? You matter, cub." Silent tears fell down Harry's cheeks but the boy seemed oblivious to it, he was frozen staring at his unofficial godfather's scarred face.

Remus smiled softly. "Phoenix will always need you, you know? No matter what happens, Harry. She knows who was there for her though it all and that was you, she knows that you would never hurt her. That McLaggen boy did a number on her and just like you would have done, Phoenix thought she was protecting you. She absolutely shouldn't have done that but both of you have spent way too long relying and protecting each other – you have to remember that you don't have to do it alone anymore. Nothing will change the need you feel to protect her but you have to understand that there are others, like Sirius and I, also Regulus, to help." Harry couldn't do much but nod and it seemed enough for the time being. He could talk to his sister when she woke up, for now he just felt safe and as light as possible in this anvil-heavy night.

When Sirius was younger he would never believe it if someone said he'd be in the present situation. The only man who's ever escaped Azkaban, ex-convict and the most unbelievable feat: parental figure of three teenagers.

To say that the Animagus was exhausted was an understatement. Sirius had never felt so old! He could almost feel his hair losing its pigment and becoming a dull shade of grey - and he always teased Moony for it. Wait, isn't that Remus speaking?

"Padfoot?" Remus said one more time resting a hand on his best mate's shoulder who was still staring at the window.

"Yeah?" Sirius ran a hand through his face.

"Are you all right?" The grey-eyed man nodded and the werewolf sighed, not believing it for a second. "Never mind. Dumbledore approached me when we got here, while you were talking to Poppy. He asked if we have an answer for his offer." Remus went directly to the point; he knew it was pointless to question his friend about his feelings at the moment.

The remaining marauders received an interesting letter from the headmaster earlier that week. Apparently Professor Sinistra, the Astronomy instructor at Hogwarts would have to step down from her position to take care of her mother who was suffering from ever-lasting consequences of Cerebrumous Spattergoit - a wizarding disease caused by fungus. Dumbledore offered her position to none other than Sirius Black who - due to family tradition - could score an O in Astronomy before his first year at Hogwarts. He also offered Remus a job as tutor, to help students with adjusting and school questions.

Remus was thrilled at the prospect and even Sirius - who felt sick at the thought of being referred as Professor Black - didn't deny that it would be nice to be near Harry, Phoenix and Regulus. Still, it was a huge change and Sirius had planned to discuss it with the rest of their family before accepting anything. After all, it must be weird to live with your teachers.

But with everything that happened that night neither Sirius or Remus felt inclined to wait for the teenager's blessing so Sirius just nodded and accepted the fact that now he would be the one handing detentions.

Remus then left to talk to the headmaster without a word and Sirius made his way to his goddaughter's bedside.

The bruises on her face contrasted with her pale skin, her rosy lips were slightly parted and her red hair was a curtain on the pillow. Sirius ran his thumb over her face in a fatherly action and tucked the covers around her once more, checking the IV fluid even though he didn't understand how the drops worked before moving to Harry's bed.

Harry had gone to bed about 15 minutes ago after Remus managed to calm him. The raven-haired boy still had tear tracks all over his slightly freckly cheeks but seemed to be deep asleep. Sirius wiped his godson's face with a handkerchief before running his hand through Harry's head - smiling slightly when the boy leaned into the touch.

With a glance at his wrist, Sirius realised that it's already been 20 minutes since Regulus stated he wanted to take a shower and locked himself up in the hospital wing's bathroom. Normally Padfoot wouldn't keep tabs on it, the boy was almost 15 after all and Hogwarts had an endless stack of warm water. But the memories of the grey-eyed young man who could barely stand without swaying and broke down in his Uncle's arms was more than enough to make Sirius wary. So without overthinking it Sirius made his way to the room and knocked on the door.

Regulus made his way to the washroom to dispel the filth from his body, it was the least he could do since he couldn't purify his soul. Words echoed in his head, some could be understood and some sounded more like wind howls – they gave him shivers. Walking quickly as he could trying to mask the lack of balance in his nervous system – as if he was walking above the water - he only had one thought: I need to get cleaned up. His peripheral vision was absent and Regulus felt like the walls were closing in on him, thankfully he managed to get inside and lock the door before he let out the breath he didn't notice he was holding under seven keys.

Regulus shakily walked towards the sink and looked himself in the mirror. At first the reflection was blurry and the blinked twice to focus on the pale face in front of him. There was a boy staring back, Regulus thought he looked him though Reg could barely recognise himself. The boy's grey eyes looked too big for his face, the sclera was blood red and the greyish-blue of the irises looked as opaque as cement. The charcoal coloured hair that recently was being combed back was falling on the boy's face, looking wet and greasy not to mention messy. There were some reddish stains among the tear-tracks and those lips, which were normally pulled back into a grin, were cracked and bitten.

Regulus eyes followed down to the shirt the boy was wearing; at first it was pure white as if recently scourgified but with a blink blood stains seemed to appear out of nowhere – Regulus could almost feel the warmth of the liquid on his chest. More than just startled, Regulus backed away and directed his eyes to the boy's face. The vital-plasma made his cheeks red and the grey eyes were hard and emotionless even though bloody tears kept falling. Regulus then was 100% certain of the boy's identity and raised his hands to his cheeks as if to clean up the stains on his face but once the limbs near his chin he could see that through his finger's blood was slipping.

Somehow Reg managed not to scream as the reflection grinned at him, the almost 15 year-old backed away until his head hit painfully the stone wall behind him and slid to the floor pulling his knees to his chest and tucking his head in the space between. He didn't see when the mirror he was observing cracked as in a burst of accidental magic though he would be thankful it didn't break into shards. He couldn't deal with company right now. He tried to breathe, as he would usually do counting to three before exhaling and repeating the process. He closed his eyes just to open them quickly after the haunting reflection made an appearance in his thoughts. Regulus tried to think of anything that could bring him peace even though he didn't deserve it. He hurt someone, maybe even killed – Uncle Sirius could be lying. Regulus was no better than his mother or father; the killer gene was ingrained into his DNA. He was 14 years old and already had blood on his hands with that he vomited the bile that was left on his stomach.

Reg felt cornered and looked around him, noticing the shower bath in the corner he walked shakily on his knees in its direction and once the broken boy reached it he let the tub edges support his weight. Regulus didn't bother to remove his clothes with the remaining strength he had he rolled himself into the bathtub opening completely the hot water faucet as well as the hot shower above him.

The water was not just hot, it was scalding, if Regulus was in his right mind he would have noticed the way the liquid burned his skin and the pain it caused but it actually felt good to him. As if with the water in that temperature the evil in him would melt and slid down the drain once the boy opened them. He opened his eyes – which he didn't realise he had closed – and looked at the tub. The water was red tinged; he hadn't noticed his nails scratching his own arms as if to remove the skin, his own blood was not mixed with Phoenix's in his clothes.

Regulus screamed panicked, growing sicker by the second. He didn't hear the hard knock on the door that soon followed or his Uncle's frantic calls. He didn't notice the door open and the other presence in the room nor the water stream being interrupted. He was too horrified with the last hours to do much but shake.

"Regulus Black! What on earth?" Sirius said taking in the scene of the sauna-like washroom, broken mirror, and bloody water with a limp boy emerged in it. In two strides he was by the bath, accessing the damage on the fully clothed boy while closing the water taps and removing the drain with a flick of his wand. Sirius took in the scratches and the burned skin and with a rush of adrenaline he stepped into the emptying tub and hoisted to boy to his feet not caring if he would get himself wet. "What the hell happened here, Reggie?" Padfoot asked softly though he felt his heart was about to burst through his chest.

"B-Blood." Regulus replied as if his answer was a panacea.

Sirius shook his head. "The scratches, Regulus! Where did you get them? Did you hurt yourself?"

"I-I don't know."

"You don't- Regulus. Look at you! Your skin is burned! This is serious, young man!" Sirius tried not to yell as he looked into his nephew's blank face.

"Skin?" Regulus took a good look at himself and in an unlikely move undid half the buttons of his white shirt. His normally pale chest looked like it could burst into blisters at any moment and now that he looked at himself and could actually see, he could really feel the pain. The boy gasped.

"Regulus! What happened?" Sirius pressed almost tearing his hair out with worry.

"I don't know, Uncle Sirius! I don't know!" The boy now looked broken and Sirius wasn't fast enough to keep the boy's body from sagging into the floor.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait. So much has happened! I had this unswayable writers block that I wasn't able to get through until now. You know me, I don't like posting anything so I hope this chapter was worth the wait. You've wondered about Harry's feelings and here it is. Regulus psychotic break down was something necessary and that I loved writing.

Anyway, I hope I still have readers that are willing to review this chapter. Please send your feedback :)