Hi Guys! Please don't beat me up :) The last computer I had completely malfunctioned and I was out of a computer for a couple months. This is wayyyy overdue, and I hope you guys like it. As always any questions, just ask; anything else? I don't think so, so just shoot me a review and tell me what you thought of it.

The sun was beaming down on the sleeping body, that groaned, tucking his head under his pillow. Last night, from what he remembers was, awkward, hetic and very confusing. He barely remembers what happened after commanding James to 'get the fuck outside'. He sat up, taking notice of the bandages on his hand; wondering how bad did was the fight between James and himself.

"Kendall?" Knocks came to his door, as he mumbled for them to come in; and in stepped his mother. She looked sympathetically at him, remembering last night, how she could hear his every word, and still, she felt like she could've protected him. Take those feelings that she discovered he had last night away, so she could just have her normal, teenage son back.

"Hey Ma" He said, sliding himself up against the headboard; and wiping his face with his hands. Part of him wanted to ask her if she knew, but the look in her eyes told him that she didn't even want to talk about it.

"You alright?" She held his injured hand in hers "you were pretty riled up last night" She looked up at him, and he lowered his gaze to the blanket.

"What did James take from you?" His eyes snapped up from his mother, as he looked intently at her. He could see her red eyes, the aftermath of her crying "Kendall, from now on, I'm gonna be completely honest with you; but you have to be completely honest with me" She labored her breathing, her shoulders trembling slightly, as if she would break down at any looked at her, she was completely serious about this; and he just wasn't sure if he could be completely honest with her.

"Kendall, whatever it is, you'll still be my son, I'll still love you, that won't change anything about our relationship" She told him, as his thumb rubbed the back of her hand

"I know Ma" He mumbled quietly, as someone began knocking at the front door. His mother didn't budge a bit, she remained seated on his bed, holding his hand "Ma, I can't just spill everything and carry on like nothing's ever happened" He told her, she nodded, eyes glassy. She felt guilty, Kendall was hiding this huge part of his life away from her, as if he felt he couldn't trust her, as if he couldn't talk to her.

"Logan's in the living room waiting for you" She told him, "Whenever you're ready to talk" He nodded at her, as she leaned over to kiss his forehead

"I won't forget" He told her, as she smiled, standing and leaving Kendall idle with his thoughts. A shower, he should shower and that would help...a little. He hoped.

Logan's mind raced, with so many questions he felt as if he would explode before any of them become answered. After he talked with Carlos, late after they got home, he was informed that Kendall had split James lip, and and littered his left cheek in little scars. Logan watched as Kendall stepped out of the room, fully dressed.

"Ready?" Kendall asked as Logan nodded, saying his bye's to Mama Knight and little Katie. As the door of his apartment shut behind Kendall, Logan voiced his first question.

"Are you okay?" Logan asked Kendall, as he watched Kendall nod

"Yeah, I'm fine" All that kept coming to his mind was the fact that his mother wanted him to spill his secrets, to tell her everything. Logan nodded, quietly as Kendall followed him to the car.

"Loge?" Kendall asked, waiting for some response from the boy. In a sense, he felt bad, he knew that he had gotten carried away; and when he blacks out, things aren't pretty.

"Yeah Kendall?" Logan asked, as he stopped at the red light. Kendall was in a daze the whole time they were in the car, now nearing about halfway there; he was worried. It was like he was so remorseful of last night, sometimes, when he looked over the few inches to check on him; Kendall just seems so far off.

"He's alright right? I mean, I didn't get him too bad did I?" He spoke slowly, thinking carefully over his words as he spoke to Logan.

"He's just fine" Logan told him "Can you answer me this one question though?" Now, Kendall looked worriedly over at the smaller boy; he still nodded anyway.

"What did he take from you? I mean, what got you so upset?" Two questions, Kendall noted, but originally it was the same answer for him. He glanced over at Logan, his brown eyes glancing back before looking ahead of him as he resumed driving.

"Something personal, I mean, it was mines, and no one else knew and he took it" Kendall answered, staring down at the dashboard of the car "Still has it, actually. To get it, he'd have to look for it; you'd have to know exactly what you're looking for to get it" Kendall stopped talking, and glanced again, over at Logan.

"Kendall?" Logan asked, again; finally pulling into a parking space in the huge parking lot. Kendall looked up at Logan, holding his attention for more than a second as they sat in the parked car.

"Yeah?" Kendall asked, glancing down at the yarn bracelet adorning his wrist.

"Can we hang out after work? I mean, I got a lot of questions that only you'd know the answer to; I don't want to bum you out your first day" Kendall cracked a small smile as they both stepped out of the car

"Yeah, we can"

As soon as Kendall came in, he was given a name tag and the first assignment he was given was to unload the boxes and carry them into the back so that Stephanie, his new co-worker could do inventory.

"Mom! Oh my god! Why do we even have to come to this store!" He chuckled at the high pitched voice, thinking of his own, dear little sister. The girl was no older than 12, 13; with dark brown hair, much like He Who Must Not Be Named. (A/N: Just cause I fuckin' love Harry Potter)

"Because, we do" Her mother answered, as her daughter sucked her teeth and sighed again

"Mom! It's a boy in here can we just please go somewhere else!" She whined and her mother, gave her a stern look. Kendall smiled, kind of reminded him of his mother, oh these days for his mother and Katie is far, far from now; Thank God.

"Kendall, sweetie" Kendall turned his head to his boss, Heidi as she wallked over to him "Go and help out our other customers, if you need help, Stephanie's in the back" Kendall nodded, feeling a little excited at helping his first customer.(A/N: HELP ALL THE CUSTOMERS! Reddit anyone?) He stored the last box in the back as Stephanie smiled at him, having a male gay co-worker was fun; and she didn't have to carry all the boxes in anymore. Kendall then, walked over to the mother and daughter duo; with the girl still complaining, and in the middle of a sentence as she noticed him.

"Mom, we can just go to the other bra store in-"

"Hi, I'm Kendall; what can I do for you today?" He asked, throwing on a friendly smile as the girl blushed, and stepped aside so that her mother was behind her

"She needs to be measured and fitted" Her mother said, and he could hear a slight "Mom! from the girl.

"I didn't catch your names" He said politely,

"I'm Helen, and this is Jamie" She said, Kendall smiled at the pair

"Well Jamie, no reason to be ashamed, I'm gay anyway" He told her, and she sighed, then frowned momentarily; he chuckled; already becoming amused at the girl

"Why the frown?" He asked, as her shoulders dropped

"The hot, nice guys are always gay. That's why we straight girls get stuck with the douche's" Kendall bursted out laughing as her mother scolded her, turning to Kendall, about to apologize

"No worries, I needed a laugh anyway" Kendall found the girl to be very much like his sister, which he noted that he didn't even catch a glimpse of her today "So, you two can go right into that first booth; grab one of those right there" He said, pointing to the shelf of thin disposable bras; specially made for fitting "And I'll be right with you" The two smiled, before walking towards the fitting room as he went to go get a measuring tape.

"She's funny" Kendall snapped out of his daze, to see Logan coming back, with a green slushy in his hands

"I know, she reminds me of J- Katie" He quickly caught himself, and Logan ignored the little slip up

"Her and Katie could be twins" He knew fully that Kendall meant James, not Katie. He ignored it anyway, thinking that that would only upset him. Kendall laughed, knocking on the wall, and waiting for one of them to respond.

"Come in" Kendall sidestepped the curtain, holding the tape measure up

"Kay, I'm gonna need you to your arms up, making a T" She did as he said, as he bent to get her measurements

"So..., got a boyfriend?" She smiled as Kendall laughed, he knew that sooner or later this question was going to surface

"No" He answered, double checking her measurement before he moved on to the other

"So, anybody particularly special?" He laughed, she was not going to give this up so easily

"Kinda sorta, but we aren't on the best terms" He cannot believe that he's explaining his lovelife- no, no love life because he didn't think romantically of James,no love life to begin with anyway.

"What, did you split his lip?" Kendall glanced up at her before, double checking her second measurement and moved onto the third, and she realized that he wasn't laughing along with her

"You did!" He quickly hushed her, seeing as she chose to raise her voice in surprise "Sorry" She apologized

"It's complicated alright?" He asked, as he firmly held the tape to one end of her shoulder

"What's his name?" She asked, as he jabbed Kendall in the side

"I can't believe this? You're how old? What are you a relationship counselor?" He teased, as he measured her

"I'm 13, and I want to be a wedding planner, although a relationship counselor sounds nice too" He chuckled with the girl, then realized that she was waiting for him to continue.

"His name is James. I mean, I don't like him like that, not romantically" He said, as the girl scoffed

"Oh, and my name is Jamie, I see the correlation" He chuckled, turning around as she slipped her shirt back on

"You guys have the same hair color, too" Shit, he really did not just tell her that!

"He must be hot, because I'm smoking" He chuckled,

"You and my sister Katie are so much alike" He said, she smiled and crossed her arms over her chest, as Kendall finished writing down her measurements on the form

"Anyway, when are you going to tell him that you are so much, desperately in love with him" Kendall glared at her as she mischieviously smiled

"Am not"

"Are too"

"Am not"

"Are too"

"Am not"

"Are too" Kendall jumped as her mother popped her head in and declared, then popped back out; talk about embarrrassment. Kendall was sure he was about 15 different shades of red right at this moment.

"Oh, my God" Kendall said, forehead in his palm, shaking his head

"Come on" He grumbled, calculating her measurements

"Just say it, pleaaaaaaaase?" She mumbled, poking her lip out with- NO! NOT THE PUPPY DOG EYES! He glared at her, but already he could feel his mean breaking. Won't...give...in-

"FINE! I think I at least like him" He mumbled, ducking his head in, as he looked for eavesdroppers "more than a...friend" A 13 year older had succumbed him to say that he liked James, more than a friend. She smiled proudly as he handed her mother the paper, and he poked her tongue out at her.

"YAY! The heavens have rejoiced" She threw her arms up as Kendall facepalmed himself, he's finally found Katie's twin. She danced around, earning odd stares from other customers, and Logan; oh great. Fun time explaing that!

"You know, this is really nice" Logan told him as he walked out of the mall, towards Logan's car. Kendall smiled a bit, as he placed the bags he had in the trunk.

"I'm guessing that our little talk is now, but I have a thing about that" Logan looked up at Kendall, afraid that Kendall wouldn't answer any of his questions

"Just, come to dinner, and after I have a talk with Katie, I can tell you and my mom together" He asked, sliding himself into the car, as Logan began backing out of the parking space.

"Alright" Logan agreed, it's like Kendall had a complete attitude change; maybe it's because of the little girl, and getting Kendall to 'admit his love' for James. Yes, he'd heard everything, and was clutching at his sides at how a 13 year old could bring 17 year old Kendall to wave the white flag of surrender. Kendall had stopped, and picked up chinese food; and since he was still processing to be on the store's payroll, Heidi gave him his commission in cash; so he had a little money for now.

As Kendall walked into the apartment, bags in his hand, he was attacked, little arms with a death grip. Surprised, and a little confused, he wrapped his arms around Katie, bear hugging her.

"I missed you, and I didn't get to see you before you left" She was worried, clearly evident on his face because her DS was still in the same place from last night

"Sorry, kiddo" He said ruffling her hair as she jabbed him in his side for doing so

"'s okay" She mumbled, standing on her tippy toes to see into the shopping bag that he had. She put her hand over her heart, and sniffled "Are they presents?" Kendall laughed at his little sister, and directed her to lay the chinese food out of the table.

"Yes, and they wait until after dinner" She pouted, as his mother came out, looking at him puzzled

"And where did these presents come from?" She asked, as Kendall placed them on the counter

"I got a job, first day was today; it was fun" He said, and Katie and his mom just stared at him as he and Logan sat down on the floor; passing boxes to each other. Katie and her mother glanced at each other before Kendall spoke again.

"You two gonna stand there and starve all night?" Katie stuck her tongue out as Mama Knight playfully rolled her eyes, before sitting down beside Katie. Before they knew it, the boxes were half full and everyone laughed at Kendall's poor attempt to use chopsticks, before he began to just skewer everything. It began to grow later, and later, until Kendall's humourous laughs began to grow more and more serious. He glanced over at Katie, more than a few times, wondering if he should tell her everything that he was going to originally tell Logan and his mother.

"Guys" With his mind decided, he chose to not keep his sister in the dark about everything; and he knew that before the night was over that tears were going to be shed "Um, we should probably have that little talk now" He said, regretting seeing Katie's playful smile slowly slide away, being replaced by a more serious look.

"Mom, like you said, you wanted me to be honest and you're gonna be honest" His brain was wracked, hands growing clammy, shaking and for a moment, he feels like he's going to ruin their lives. He unbuttoned his long sleeved flannel shirt, pausing. Was he really doing the right thing? Was he really about to put himself out there like an open book? To them? He continued, slowly rolling up his sleeves, as the dark, lines came into his view; slowly, he rolled his sleeves up to his elbow and did the same to the other. He dared a spare glance up, Logan looked regretful; his mother had tears in his eyes; and Katie's lip was turning purple as she angrily wiped away her tears. They weren't that bad, were they? He turned, to look at his own forearms. The pale white skin, with the dark red lines blaring in contrast; they weren't his arms, they looked like someone else's. He doesn't remember making so many cuts, he doesn't remember. He could feel his eyes burning to the thought.

"Kendall" His mother's voice was light, soft, sad.

"I didn't do...all of these" He stared at his forearms, he didn't...he didn't do all of them; he just "I don't, I-I" It was like a revelation, like many of his scars became invisble to him at times. The times where he glanced at them, it didn't seem like so many. Kendall looked up to the both of them with glassy eyes, from his mom, to Katie, mom, Katie.

"I-I" He felt frozen for a minute; he glanced back at Katie and she kicked the table beside her, screaming and knocking the glass lamp to the floor; scurrying away to her room

"KATIE!" Kendall called, vision blurry as he looked at his mother

"I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" He heard her scream, he looked at his mother, tears still streaming; hoping, preying that she wouldn't reject him, not now, not when he most needed her He felt himself being enveloped in warm arms as he broke down. He was a failure, he made his mother cry, his sister hates him, and he probably just lost the last friend he ever had; his dad was right. He was failure, that was all that he was ever going to be. He could hear his mother's sobs over his own.

"It's not your fault" She murmured to him, hugging him tightly to her. She let his happen, she let her son believe that he was the failure thather no good ex husband proclaimed he was. How could she? How could she be so much of a horrible mother to not even realize when her own child was suffering? It was her fault. She should've known, a mother should always know when something is wrong with her child. Always.

"I'm so sorry Mom, I never meant to, I'm so sorry" He sobbed, holding onto his mother tightly, like a child, looking for comfort from the darkness

"It's not your f-fault Kendall; I'm so, so sorry" She told him; she let him go, grabbing a hold of his chin, makign him look her straight in the eyes. His emeralds were glassy, and red, tear tracks staining his cheeks. "Kendall, I am so sorry that I didn't realize that the way you felt. Kendall, you're perfect, the way you looked after Katie and me when he left. You were still a baby yourself; I blame me for putting so much pressure on you, it's my fault because that's what you were: a kid. You shouldn't have had to do anything of the things that you did. I let you suffer, for so long because of my own fears. No matter whatever you do, I will always love you; because you are my son. You are not a failure" She stopped, catching her breath, taking her free hand and wiping her tears away "You've taken care of me and Katie so long, that's not a failure; that's a savior. You are my son, and I will love you no matter what, you understand?" He nodded more tears streaming down his face as he clutched his arms around her again.