Author's Note:

So I decided to go through this whole story of mine, edit each chapter and make them slightly better written but not really change the story at all (just correct any lingering errors and that kind of thing), and then re-post each chapter as I do.

So I'm starting the re-posting process now. I haven't updated it since July 2012 lol and I feel bad about that. I was gonna just finish my whole Quinn (Glee) fanfic first so that when I did get back to updating this story of mine, it'd have my full attention. But then… well… I'm a registered beta reader on this site (currently beta-ing a Finchel Glee fanfic and an Annie/Auggie Covert Affairs fic) and chelsietoo found me too very recently and she asked me to help her with her new Logan/Rory fic, "Passing Time". She actually is planning on including Jess in her fic and that's part of what drew her to me as a beta reader – I will be able to make sure she keeps Jess in character maybe more than the average pure Logan/Rory shipper. ;) I have already helped her a lot with chapter 1 and she's posted it – you should check out her fic. I think it's great so far. ;)

s/9266820/1/Passing-Time

Anyway…

chelsietoo, the author of that fic, ended up reading this whole fic of mine and leaving me a review and now I feel bad making her wait for an update… and I've already been feeling bad about making all of you wait like 10 months for one… SO…

I'm gonna finally write chapter 10 now!

I'll work on both my Glee fic and this one simultaneously again and try to not let either one go for very long without being updated.

But yeah, I'm hoping with me re-posting it… that some of you (if you want to) could take advantage of this and re-read my whole fic so far as I re-post these chapters to remind yourself of what my story is. I am trying to make some minor improvements as I go along too.

Also, a reminder (or I need to tell you for the first time if you're a new reader):

Iscah_McKrae is a really great writer for Jess-related (and all Gilmore Girls-related) things, so make sure you check out her fics on this site. She also was my beta reader for all 9 of these chapters so far and will continue to be beta-ing this fic for me. ;) So I just want to give her a HUGE shout-out and thank you! ;)

Chapter 1: Jess on the Doorstep

Jess asked Rory to come away with him to New York. He didn't want to stay in a fake city like New Haven or worse, Stars Hollow. He didn't belong anywhere in Connecticut and whenever he was there he felt like everyone around, strangers and acquaintances alike, knew it. But Rory yelled "No!" at him. No she really didn't want to be with him. Her cold response was like a bucket of ice water being thrown on him, and he felt shocked to his core. He stood there frozen for a moment, then left. He had already said goodbye to his mother and Luke and left both of them his new cell phone number... and now that he'd taken his shot with Rory and she'd turned him down, he was done. He was heartbroken, but she clearly wanted nothing to do with him, so their story had to end there. He didn't plan to return to New England anytime in the near future. He didn't plan to see Rory ever again if he could avoid it.

He drove back to New York feeling relatively numb. He was good at avoiding actually feeling any painful emotions, and right now he knew that if he didn't put in the effort he'd be crying pathetically. He had felt a hint of the pain that had threatened to overwhelm him, and blocked it out before letting it get the best of him. Instead, he focused on fiction instead of real life on his silent drive home. His car radio was completely broken, and had been ever since he first purchased the car. It was quite junky and old. Usually while driving, he'd be able to focus on a recent piece of literature he'd been reading; he could remember the details, thinking up new commentary – mainly negative criticisms when he was in a bad mood. However on this particular drive, he was thinking of a fictional story that he himself was writing. He wasn't sure what motivated him to start writing- although a part of him that hated to admit it was sure Rory had something to do with it. He'd started writing on his long bus ride back to New York from California, after he'd run out of books to read. He'd managed to complete two chapters, but it'd been months since he had considered continuing this story – he hadn't actually touched pen to paper since he told Rory he loved her. But right now, it was the only thing he could focus on. So he thought about his characters and plot and planned out his entire third chapter on his drive home. Although honestly, it didn't feel like "home" to Jess.

"Home is where the heart is," or so the expression goes. Home is where you feel safe, comfortable, or perhaps loved. Approaching a crappy apartment and roommates whose names he couldn't quite remember... he wasn't returning home. He didn't have a home.

A week or so later, Rory slept with Dean. Lorelai came home, yelling out some story about Kirk as Rory scrambled to get her dress back on as quickly as possible. She threw Dean's shirt to him as she heard her mother approaching the room. She glanced at the bed and at her hair in the mirror. It was too obvious what they'd just done. There was no hiding it.

Everything Lorelai said was right and Rory knew it. She was in denial, or at least trying to be, but she wouldn't have yelled back so defensively at Lorelai if she didn't realize, on some level, that Lorelai really did have a point.

Rory called Dean's cell; she needed to apologize to him for her mother, and more importantly she desperately needed confirmation that he was really leaving Lindsay - that she wasn't really the other woman... despite the part of her who knew that she was. But Lindsay's sweet voice broke through Rory's self-protective wall of denial. She was so obviously the other woman, and poor Lindsay was oblivious. Lindsay didn't deserve to be cheated on. Rory felt so insanely guilty. She started to cry, hating herself for potentially ruining a marriage. She tried to convince herself it was Dean's fault. She also, much more selfishly, hated herself for losing her virginity in such a way. She'd always, for the rest of her life, remember this night as tear-filled; as a colossally stupid mistake. For once she did not want her mother to comfort her.

Luke hung up the phone, pleased that Lorelai apparently enjoyed their kiss as much as he did. He returned to work with a huge grin on his face. But then, a couple of hours later, he got another phone call. This one was not nearly as pleasant. Liz, currently in Maine, informed him that she and her new husband were injured in a car accident. He hated hearing that his little sister was hurt. She assured him it was just her arm and leg, and insisted she was fine. (It still sounded pretty bad to him.) However because TJ broke two of his limbs as well, neither one of them would be able to sell Liz's jewelry at the Renaissance fair for their first few weeks of recovery, and they needed some help. She begged Luke to come and he never could refuse when his sister asked him for something. So he called Caesar out of the kitchen and explained the situation, then packed his bag. He didn't remember that he and Lorelai had planned to meet that night until he was already on the road, and he couldn't call her from his car without a cell phone. So he stopped on his way through Hartford to buy one. After listening to about an hour of complicated advice about phone choices, he finally had something to call Lorelai with.

Rory left to go to Europe with her grandmother, and Lorelai missed her already. She wished her daughter had said goodbye to her on better terms. Walking back into her house, Lorelai noticed some new messages on her answering machine and hit "play." She'd temporarily forgotten about her new budding romance with Luke, and his voice reminded her and made her smile. She hated that he was gone now too, though. She couldn't tell anyone that Rory slept with Dean, and she knew that included Luke. Still, she wished he was around as a pleasant distraction from all the drama she had to deal with in her daughter's life. She wanted something to keep her from dwelling on how much she'd obviously failed as a parent. Lorelai was about to call Luke on his new cell phone when she was interrupted by a knock on the door. She was quite surprised to open it and discover Jess.

"Oh! Hi, Jess," she floundered, waiting for him to explain why he was on her front porch. His face showed no hint of his intentions.

"Can I please speak to Rory?" he asked determinedly. Lorelai tried to guess why he was there in front of her, wanting to see Rory. The last she knew of Jess and Rory's interaction was him saying he loved her and then immediately driving away.

"I'm sorry," Lorelai answered. "She just left for Europe with my mother. She won't be back for a couple of weeks." She stared back at the young man in the leather jacket; she liked the outfit he wore to his mother's wedding better, even if it had looked a bit ridiculous on him considering his usual style.

Dammit, Jess thought. He was pissed that Rory was truly unreachable, and not only that. She seemed to actually be spiting him. The job he currently had earned him barely enough to afford the gas he'd needed to get back here to Connecticut, and yet she was off doing rich-people things like vacationing to Europe with her grandmother.

"Nevermind then," he told Lorelai, turning around. He started walking back towards his car.

"Wait," Lorelai said. "Why did you want to talk to her?"

Jess hesitated and turned around. He didn't want to answer her. This was a private matter between him and Rory. Why couldn't Lorelai see that?

"I just want to talk to her," he said simply, refusing to answer, but doing so in the most polite way he could muster.

"Okay," Lorelai replied. He turned back towards his car. "Wait!" Lorelai called after him again. He paused but didn't turn back around this time. She continued, "Luke's not home."

Jess, still facing away from her, rolled his eyes. He was half annoyed and half impressed that she knew where he was next heading. "How do you know?" he asked, turning back to face Lorelai once again. He was somewhat surprised to see her blush and smile a bit. Were they dating now or something? Jess thought. They did go to the wedding together...

"He just got a cell phone and called me," she said. "Come inside and I can copy down the number for you."

Wordlessly he followed her inside. She found the piece of paper with Luke's number on it and copied it onto another. She handed the new copy to him. "Feel free to call him now if you want. I'll..." she hesitated, looking over at the boy. She had the strong feeling that he needed to talk to someone. She hoped he would really talk to Luke. "I was just about it go return a casserole dish to Sookie anyway," she fibbed. "So I'll leave you alone," she said, heading into the kitchen to find Sookie's glass dish. Lorelai was pretty sure she'd been holding onto the dish for over a year; she never could remember to return it.

After Lorelai grabbed her keys and was out the door, Jess took Lorelai's phone out of its base. He didn't want to waste his limited cell phone minutes if he didn't have to.

Luke fumbled quickly for his phone as soon as he heard the first ring, and answered it quickly after the second without even glancing at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Luke," Jess said in his signature monotone, which didn't reveal any emotion.

"Jess?" Luke was really surprised.

"Yeah."

"How did you get my number?"