Like I said in the description, this is what happens when I try to write while half-asleep. I sat down to write a Klaine and Malec fic and ended up with this. It's very stupid, but hopefully kind of funny. This is my first story, so please be nice. Oh, and if you like it, thank my awesome friend write4evr ! She was the reason that I was awake and thinking about The Mortal Instruments and Glee at 4 in the morning :p

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot (or, in this case, lack of a plot)

So it starts when Alec starts cheating Magnus with Blaine, who in turn is cheating on Kurt. Maggie, in his fury, teleports to Lima, Ohio and informs Kurt of this. Kurt immediately storms over to New York, but is quickly attacked by demons. Jace rescues him, and Kurt quickly falls in love with Jace.

Jace, curiously attracted to Kurt, begins a secret relationship with him while still officially dating Clary. Meanwhile, in Lima, Maggie meets Santana and hooks up with her. Brittney finds out and runs off to Artie, has a one-night-stand with him, then takes off to New York where she meets Izzy and they begin dating.

Santana is furious with Magnus for "making" her hurt Brittney and follows her to New York. Rachel finds out and has a spazz attack because Brittney and Santana are supposed to do a duet at the up-coming Sectionals, so she storms off to find them, dragging Finn with her.

Quinn, still in love with Finn, tags along to prevent any Finchel from occurring, and Puck comes along because he thinks it might be amusing. At this point, Artie and Mercedes are the only two New Directions kids left in Lima, so they convince Maggie to teleport them to New York to see if they can sort things out. Once there they find total chaos.

Alec and Blaine are still together, blissfully unaware of the mess that they've caused. Meanwhile, everyone else is painfully aware. Simon finds out about Izzy and Brittney, and breaks up with Izzy. When Santana is unsuccessful at breaking up Iz and Brit, she hooks up with Simon out of spite. The thing is, Simon is also hooking up with Kurt, who is secretly dating Jace. And, Jace and Clary are still together, Clary oblivious to the mess of relationships and hook-ups going on.

Somewhere along the way (no one really knows where), Artie and Mercedes fell in love and got distracted by that, therefore leaving Maggie, Finn, Puck, Quinn, and Rachel to sort things out. Well, then Rachel confesses to her long-time secret relationship with Mercedes.

Mercedes reacts to this with extreme horror denying it and secretly breaking up with Rachel, while Quinn gleefully convinces Finn to get back with her and Artie breaks up with Mercedes, crushed.

Kurt hears of Rachel and Mercedes fight. He knew that they were dating and immediately breaks off both of his relationship-things in order to find and help his two fellow Divas. This leaves Magnus, Puck, and Artie the only ones not at all involved in the tangled web of stuff… or so everyone thinks. In reality, Puck and Maggie have been sleeping together since Magnus first arrived in Lima, a situation which neither of them is in any rush to change.

Kurt, having found Rachel and Mercedes, has dragged them both back to Lima to sort things out. His sudden departure has left Jace a wreck, and Clary finally can't take it anymore and leaves him.

Artie has been carefully following the relationships of everyone involved in this mess, and when Clary breaks up with Jace, decides that it's safe to enlist her help sorting things out. He explains everything, and then they head back to Lima to convince the Divas to help.

Rachel and Mercedes are back together, but Kurt has realized the extent of what he did, and is a mess, both because he is still in love with Blaine and wants him back, and because he now sees that he was never really in love with Jace OR Simon; he was just using them to try and cancel out the pain of Blaine's betrayal. They all agree to help.

Artie then proceeds to hand out assignments: Clary was commanded to go to Simon and break up him and Santana while Kurt breaks up Blaine and Alec. They are them to get Alec and Simon to help split up Izzy and Brittney.

At this point, Quinn and Finn are the only problematic pairing left, because Artie broke up Puck and Magnus before returning to Lima. He sends Puck, Santana, and Rachel to work on them while he and Magnus take care of the master stroke in his plan: getting all the relationships back to how they were BEFORE the whole thing.

They take everyone to Magnus's apartment, where they are shortly joined by Quinn, Finn (now broken up), Santana, Rachel, and Puck. Then, Magnus begins to work his mojo. Basically, he clouds the feelings that formed the tangled web of relationships, leaving everyone wondering what the hell was wrong with them to make them act/feel/think that way. In addition, their pre-disaster feelings were restored, and the New Directions kids returned to Lima, leaving things almost exactly as they were before.

Oh lord… so this is what happens when I attempt to write at oh-my-glob'o'clock in the morning… Pure. Crack. e.o This is just frightening; how the heck did I even think up this stuff? I don't know. Anyways, please review! And no flamers, please.