A/N: Don't read if you haven't seen the last movie yet. Even though I only tried to go into the depth of character's mind, it's still a spoiler. This is not my first story but it's the first thing I actually let out. And after watching DH2, I just couldn't resist... ouh yeah, and.. Harmony totally trolled DH2 [grins] I just loved this scene and yes, I tried to make something much more of it, I'm aware of that and I hope you don't mind. One-shot or not? I don't know. You tell me. Reviews are of course welcomed.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, they belong to JK Rowling.
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
She couldn't believe this was happening. Not now. He wouldn't do it just like that. He wouldn't go to the forest without telling them. He wouldn't give up just yet. He wouldn't leave them. He wouldn't leave her. Would he?
Silence.
But then again, this was Harry. Too brave, too selfless, too impulsive to not go. And Hermione knew he would accept the death so everyone else could be safe. He would die for the others. She knew that but she couldn't admit it. And everything was just so quiet and no one was opposing her; it drove her mad. He just wouldn't.
Silence.
She clenched Ron's hand tighter, leaning her forehead against his. She had no idea for how long they had been sitting there already. Her fingers were slowly but surely going numb but that only made her squeeze more. She couldn't let go now, she knew she would only break into tears then. The dust was slowly settling down, she tried to focus on it for a moment but then she wasn't able to keep her eyes open anymore, her vision was blurry anyway and she felt like her head was going to explode soon. And her thoughts weren't making it any better. But Ron was keeping quiet and in that case she wasn't able to concentrate on anything else. Only him.
And then she heard it. Those soft footsteps. It woke her up from the trance of her negative thoughts but she remained still. At first she wasn't sure if it was real or not, her head was still pounding heavily. But then the steps got louder and she convinced herself to open her eyes and turn around a little. And then she saw that messy black hair and emerald green eyes full of pain and she stood up abruptly, letting go of Ron's hand. He was right there. Harry, looking as broken as she felt a few seconds ago, was slowly making his way down the stairs. Her heart couldn't help but squeal a little. He didn't go anywhere, he was still alive...
"Where have you been?" she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible. She tried not to panic when she looked him in the eye but she could sense what was about to come.
"We thought you went to the forest." Ron added, a slight worry glistening in the tone of his voice as well.
"I'm going there now." Harry said nonchalantly, seemingly not wanting to say more as he just kept walking, not daring to look at them properly. Hermione stared at the back of his head, not being able to speak. Suddenly she felt even more broken than before. Thinking Harry went right into the arms of death wasn't even slightly as devastating as knowing he did.
"Are you mad? No! You can't give yourself up to him!" Ron said resentfully, taking a step forward, ready to stop his best friend but Hermione suddenly grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks just when Harry stopped as well. She let go of his arm and went forward herself, leaving Ron behind her.
"What is it, Harry?" her heart was pounding as she spoke for the second time now, trying to keep her voice from trembling but failing anyway. She was still trying to deny it but it was almost impossible at this point. "What is it that you know?"
And with that, Harry finally turned around and looked at her. He took a deep breath and her heart skipped a beat. No, she had to be wrong.
"There is a reason why I can hear them," she had the urge to shake her head furiously and say they could find another way as he spoke "the horcruxes." Only they couldn't. The realization hit her hard. She exhaled sharply, not even realizing she was holding her breath for a moment. And then she knew she couldn't deny it any longer and she looked down, her mind racing again, begging for more time. "I think I've known for a while." he added, desperately trying not to look at her, his gaze focusing on the ground as well. Then she glanced at him again, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her breathing became almost painful.
Up and down.
"And I think you have too." he admitted openly. A slight sob escaped her lips as she heard those words, trying to blink away the tears that were slowly forming in her eyes again. Yes, she had known. She had always felt there was something more about the whole thing- about him. But she had never admitted it aloud and not even silently to herself. 'No, it can't be' she thought every time. But she couldn't deny it now, could she?
Up and down.
"I'll go with you." she suddenly blurted out, her voice trembling terribly as she tilted her head slightly to the side, trying to suck another sobs back down her throat. She couldn't hold it back any longer. All the emotions she felt as she watched him being just a step away from walking towards his death. The unbearable pain in her chest. The tears that were now threatening to fall down. And she meant it. She meant it in every possible way. She knew Ron was right behind her. She thought about him for a while, not daring to turn around and meet his glance though. She stared into the green orbs instead. She realized she simply couldn't imagine her life without those green eyes in it. He was her best friend, her shelter. He had always been there for her and she had always been there for him. She wasn't going to break that now. She was loyal and she wanted to keep it that way. Yes, she would rather die with Harry than live with Ron without Harry in her life. Was she being selfish? She didn't have time to think about it any further because Harry didn't hesitate to answer.
"No, kill the snake," he said hurriedly, his eyes boring into her chocolate ones. "Kill the snake and then it's just him." he finished, shaking his head slightly.
And Hermione knew he was right. They still had a chance and it would be unfair to let it all fall onto Ron's shoulders. He didn't deserve that. She had to keep fighting. She couldn't afford to give up just yet. And even though it still didn't feel right, she knew it would be irrational to argue about this. She was the brightest witch of her age, after all. So she knew.
She ran up to him, closing the gap between them and wrapping her arms around him tightly. She knew she had to let him go eventually, she just needed a few more seconds. A few more seconds with her best friend. And again, he didn't hesitate as he hugged her in return almost immediately. Another sob escaped her throat as she clutched his shoulder, realizing she might never see him again. The tears, she had been holding back for so long, were finally freely falling down her cheeks. She felt him inhaling her scent as he put his chin on her shoulder, squeezing her fragile waist tighter. And then suddenly she felt something else, something more, something different. What was that? Another squeeze sent shivers down her spine. She held him so close that she could feel his quickened heartbeat, almost matching hers. She really didn't want to let go. But then, there was a small sigh of relief coming out of his lips as he probably realized she was not going to argue with him this time and she felt their time was almost over. And as she slowly started to pull away, she suddenly felt some kind of déjà vu. She couldn't really place her finger on it. And then it hit her. The last time they were this close was in the tent, far away from everyone and everything. That dance. That closeness. It freaked her out eventually even though he was only trying to comfort her. But it wasn't only about that. As Harry pulled away and looked at her now, she remembered how he looked at her back then. His eyes were offering her something more than just a comfort that night, even though he might not fully realize it. She could see it and it freaked her out. He offered her a true shelter and she wasn't the only one who needed it back then- and she considered it but then she thought of Ron again and it was all gone. She wordlessly refused. And now, she caught herself thinking about what could have happened if she didn't. If she embraced the silent offer.
But then she felt his hands slowly leaving her waist as she came back to reality. And Harry looked at her once more, the silent goodbye hanging in the air between them. She wanted to say so much more, her dry throat not letting her though. She could only manage another sob as he turned around to finish his journey. This time he was the one who turned away. And she stood still, silently praying this all was just a big bad nightmare, her chest still rising and falling uncontrollably. She felt Ron's presence beside her now but all she could see was the back of the man whom she had to let go of. Harry. Oh, her Harry.
And she could feel it now; she couldn't help but shiver at the feeling of it. Because it surrounded her again, from inside and outside as well. It was everywhere and she felt as if it swallowed her. It felt so peaceful and yet so terrifying.
Silence.
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure – the privilege is mine