Written for drrrkink meme:

Prompt: Izaya being racist to blondes.

I absolutely DO NOT support racism, I just couldn't pass up on the opportunity of Izaya trolling Shizuo.

Shizuo sighed for the 50th time today. 'I am gonna fucking ROT in here.' He thought as the teacher told them to turn the page. Page 18, 'Unit Review', He face palmed.

He looked ahead a few seats and saw Shinra doodling in his text book, he was about to sigh again when he felt a light tap on his shoulders. When he turned around, he saw a note folded neatly beside his text book. He opened it.

'How do you make a blond's eyes shine?

You shine a flashlight in his ear.'

Shizuo's eyes twitched in annoyance, and glared at Izaya, who was sitting on the seat next to him with a smug look on his face.

'You're an ass.' He wrote back.

'Aw c'mon Shizu-chan, I was just trying to make this lesson less boring. :D' Izaya ended the note with a badly drawn smiley face. When Shizuo tore up the note, Izaya grinned and wrote another one.

'Do you know how to amuse a blond for hours?

Give him a blank sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.'

Shizuo almost choked when he tried to muffle his laughter, and quickly send Izaya a stern look.

'Fuck you.'

Izaya grinned as he scribbled on the small piece of paper.

'Gladly. -wink wink-

Do you know what's a blond's idea of safe sex?

Locking the car door.'

Upon reading the joke, Shizuo's face turned seven different shades of red. Happy with the reactions he was getting, Izaya tossed notes after notes of dumb blond jokes.

'Why don't blonds talk when having sex?

Their Mommies told em never to speak to strangers.'

'What does a screen door and a blond have in common?

The more you bang it, the looser it gets.'

'Why is it that blonds always get confused in the washroom?

Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...'

'What's the difference between a blond and a bowling ball?

You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.'

After a few more notes, giggles turned into full out laughter. The class stopped and turned to stare, but went back in whatever the fuck they were doing when Shizuo mumbled an embarrassed "Oops, sorry."

Izaya was surprised to see that Shizuo was actually laughing, at the jokes that were meant to insult him.

Puzzled, Izaya ripped another page from his notebook and began writing another joke, when the bell rang, dismissing the class.

Shizuo stood up before Izaya could finish the note, so instead, he send him a confused look, "I thought you were gonna flip out and throw a desk at me."

"Of course not, they were just jokes right?" He frowned.

"So you're not offended?"

"Nope, I'm not naturally blond, I'm brunet." He pointed towards his hair, and explained.

"Ah, I see. Artificial intelligence." The raven haired boy nodded understandingly.

"Hey, Dotachin! I just saw an Izaya shaped UFO!~"

A/N: I was in the library when I saw the prompt, and I immediately started laughing and stumbled off my chair.

So I made up some shitty excuse and got my mom to book my another 30 minutes on the computer, and finished this in about 20 minutes. Please point out any spelling or grammar mistakes. :D