Title: It Was Done In The Name of Mercy
Pairings: John|Bob, John|Dean
Genre: Dark, Angst, AU, Slash, Dark!Evil!Dean, Broken!John
Takes place after Season 2 All Hell Breaks Loose, My distorted version of what happend after Sam died.

Warnings: UA, AU, Violence, Language, Graphic Descriptions, Character Death, Alcohol use, Consensual sexual pre-existing father son relationship. Possible tense issues I'm not willing to fix. *nods*

Setting: Sam dies but Dean couldn't make a deal to get his brother's life back. Dean continues his secretive & sexual relationship with John all the while growing more hateful, spiteful, jealous and violent. The loss of Sam did something to Dean and whatever it was, it wasn't good.

xxxxXxxxx

When Bobby first entered the motel room it was dark and reeked horribly. The air-conditioning unit was not on and the air was so stagnate it was hard for Bob to breathe. It was half-past two in the morning, the room was pitch black and he couldn't see anything and worse yet he did not see John anywhere. Then he heard the familiar clanking sound of a bottle hitting another bottle.

"John?"

"Yeah Bob, I'm here."

Bobby stumbled through the dark and turned on the only lamp in the room. "Oh Christ." he said when he found John sitting on the floor in a corner of the room.

John was surrounded by what appeared to be several days worth of empty whiskey bottles and his favorite jacket covered in vomit. But even more disturbing then the stench of puke and stale alcohol was the sight of John's sawed-off shotgun strewn across his lap.

"John I don't know what the hell is goin on but give me the gun ok?"

John shook his head and half-hardly laughed aloud and said, "I wish I could.. but I can't."

"Sure you can. It's easy. Just hand me the gun and I'll help fix whatever mess you got yourself into this time ok Johnny?"

"Don't call me that Bob. I mean it."

"Alright, I won't. But please, just hand over the gawd damned gun ok?"

John didn't answer right away and the several minutes of deafening silence that followed was almost unbearable for Bob. It made him nervous as hell.

Slowly John spoke. "Bob? Do you love me?"

"Umm, now John.." Bobby stuttered.

"Come on Bob, just please answer the question. Do. You. Love. Me?"

"Hell-fire John you know I do but daggumnit I ain't gonna run around saying it like some pansy."

Bob's overly-gay implication didn't bother John one bit.

John had been with Bob, mostly as 'friends with benefits while drunk', for the last 4 to 6 years and had been sleeping with his own son since..well, John couldn't really remember since when. John figured it was somewhere around Dean's 15th or 16th bday. He couldn't remember nor did he really want too. That too was just another bad memory and proof of his ultimate failure as not only a father but a human being.

Those memories are best left for drowning in bourbon.

"Good. Good. Because I care too Bob..and..and not just because of that thing we do. I love you as my friend, as a brother, as a damn fine hunter and I am so, so, so sorry for what I'm about to do."

"What the hell is going on with you John? What's this all about?"

John choked back small tears which were welling in his eyes. Slowly he spoke.

"Forgive me Bobby but if you knew what was coming for you.. you'd understand that this is an act of mercy. And it's the only viable choice, considering the alternative."

Bob was already beyond the point of being worried and confused and now he was now quickly becoming down right scared. He had no clue what John was talking about and the more John spoke, the more he was starting to think John was more sober than he originally thought. And that ultimately scared the hell out of him even more.

"What act of mercy? What the hell are you talking about Jo.."

Bobby was unable to finish his sentence because John jumped up quickly from the floor and with the full force of his body he slammed Bob into a wall. Bobby was horrified as he could feel the coolness of the smooth steel barrel of John's shotgun being shoved into the hollow of his mouth.

"He's coming Bobby. He found out about us and he is beyond pissed. You know how controlling he is and how he doesn't like to share. Dean's coming for you Singer and believe me this is the only thing I can do to spare you the pain of him toying with you..torturing you.. and tearing you apart. You know that after Sammy's death Dean went completely insane and clung on to me worse than ever before. You have to understand Bob, that this is the merciful thing to do."

Bobby's panicked and muffled cry of 'No! Don't!' was barely discernible around the large barrel.

John rested his sweaty and hair-matted forehead against Bobby's then landed a kiss on top of Bobby's head. John whispered quietly against Bob's ear.

"Forgive me. I'll see you in hell soon I'm sure."

With John's final words spoken, he stepped back, braced himself against the kick of the gun by planting his left foot firmly behind him and shouted "AAHHHH!" while he squeezed the trigger.

xxxxXxxxx

When John's cell phone rang a few moments later it wasn't necessary for him to look to see who it was, he already knew.

"Hello Dean."

"Hello Dad. How ya doin huh? Holding up ok there with your lover's brains and blood splattered all over the place?"

John could just imagine the evil smirk his son must of had on his face. John could of swore it was as if he could feel Dean's wicked pleasure oozing through the phone and seeping into deep into his bones.

"I'm fine." John replied just above a whisper.

"So you did do it right Dad?"

"Yes." John could barely speak.

"Good. I knew you would. Dad?"

"Yes son?" John barely choked out the phrase. But John had a lot of practice at answering Dean when he didn't want too and was frightened by how he would react if he didn't.

"I love you."

The words made him ill. The thought of what he had just done was sinking in and the atrocity of his action was only compounded by hearing Dean's enthusiasm.

John hesitated before he replied. His body shuddered when he noticed there was some of Bobby Singer's brain matter on his boot. He quickly shook it off then answered Dean.

"I-I love you too son."

"Good. Good. Now, repeat after me John, say these very words: I promise to never betray you again Dean."

John knew he was defeated and as the bile burned and churned in his belly he managed to spit out the right words.

"I promise to never betray you again Dean."

Dean quickly grinned and rocked back on forth on his heels like an excited child on Christmas morning although John couldn't see him he knew exactly how his son was reacting.

"Great! Everything's fine then Dad. Don't worry. I believe you. Because you've always been sooo great at keeping your promises."

John knew the statement was thick with sarcasm and that Dean didn't believe him one bit, but it didn't matter anymore. This was John's life now. Sam was dead and gone. Dean had been broken so far beyond repair from the loss of his brother he'd gone insane, and he just killed his only true friend and ocassional lover because his eldest told him to.

John closed the cheap plastic casing to his cell, picked up a half empty bottle of whiskey and considered turning the gun on himself.

But alas he didn't have the strength of will. As he sat upon the floor covered in the bloody mess of what was left of Bobby's head, he drank the rest of the bottle down and figured he wouldn't have to kill himself..he was pretty sure his own was going to do it for him.

All he had to do was give it time.