The L shifted in Light's arms and sighed in its sleep. The adorability practically melted Light inside. Actually, on second thoughts, he was definitely going to wake L so he could have his way with him.

He finally made his way into the bedroom and gently laid the incapacitated detective down on the bed. Now, how to rouse him from his slumber? Light picked the obvious tactic - tickling.

He positioned himself over L in readiness. L was limp as a dead eel. Light gathered up the languid projections of L's arms and pinned them above his head - no response as of yet. Light looked at L, oblivious and vulnerable, beneath him. It was almost too cruel... without further hesitation, Light launched a full-on tickle attack.

L did not respond. L was too busy chasing a manically laughing Light through the Cluedo mansion with a candlestick to notice any worldly disturbances. He didn't see what the problem was - all he wanted was a nice, romantic, candlelit dinner... was that too really much to ask? It was when dream-Light started randomly appearing in multiple places at once, telling him to wake up in an echoey voice, and generally behaving in odd ways that L deduced that he was probably asleep.

He groggily opened his eyes a crack, and through the crack shone Light.

"Light, your face is all blurry. Please, go and fix it."

Light did so. At least, he ducked out of L's limited view for a few moments and pretended he was performing the sort of actions that might serve to clarify his image.

In L's opinion, Light's efforts were completely ineffective and frankly pathetic, but he kept this to himself as he didn't want to hurt Light's feelings. L gracefully accepted that not everyone could be as collected and unshakeable as he. He peered at Light. His hazy appearance, and now the fact that there were two of him phasing in and out, probably increased the chance that he was Kira. These characteristics seemed most likely to belong to a supernatural killer.

Then Light started kissing his neck and he lost his train of thought.

"You... naughty Kira..." mumbled L.

Kira halted his advances and looked extremely hurt.

"Ryuzaki! I'm not Kira!"

L just winked at him and whispered "Sssshhhh, I won't tell anyone."

"Ryuzaki, that is the worst ploy any detective has ever used."

"Hush," L crooned.

Light looked at him incredulously. "Right."

Before L could do anything else peculiar, Light slid his under his head and kissed him.

L was rendered completely limp, even more so than before, by the warm feeling of Light's soft lips pressed against his. Light chuckled into the kiss and slid the hand that wasn't busy supporting L's head up his top, tracing a spiral from his navel outwards that caused pleasurable jolts when it trailed over the dip between his hip bones.

Light watched L's eyes slide half closed and his breathing become heavier and decided not to waste time; there was a danger that L would drift off to sleep if he didn't get to the point quickly. Light pulled L's white top over his head, having to manipulate L's arms to get them through the sleeves. He left it suspended on the chain, as he was in no mood and L was in no state to remove the handcuffs. Light nuzzled L's neck then moved further down, kissing down his stomach and suckling gently on the creamy flesh. L moaned and squirmed slightly in response and was subsequently divested of his jeans.

Light shuffled down the bed until he came face to face with L's penis, tenting his underwear. He breathed heat onto it and L's quiet murmur met his ears. Light tentatively pulled L's boxers down and L mewled at the friction, his cock bobbing free of the fabric. Light tossed the underwear away and began to lick and kiss gently all the way down the shaft, but the response he got from L was an attempt to rub his length in Light's face.

Light grabbed his hips and pinned him down, hiding an amused grin.

"Aren't my blowjobs good enough for you?" he demanded.

L looked forlornly up at Light.

"You're teasing me. You're so cruel sometimes..."

Light gaped at him in astonishment. Now the way he performed fellatio was deemed cruel?

"Well, fuck you!"

"Please do."

Light's glare was authentic this time.

"Just for that, you won't get my cock inside you. I want to be able to pay attention when I watch you come."

L gulped. He grumbled but looked slightly apprehensive, wondering what Light was going to do.

Light sighed and leant up to kiss his forehead.

"Don't worry, it'll be nice," he soothed as he swung his leg over, one hand grabbing L's wrists and pinning them above his head again, and the other dipping out of sight between his legs. His smirk did not exactly match his tone of voice, but Light was a puzzle at the best of times, L reflected.

L gasped as fingers lightly brushed his opening and his muscles dilated very slightly.

"I thought you said-"

"No," said Light "-I'm going to finger you."

L spread his legs wider.

For some reason, the idea of being made to climax by just Light's fingers was extremely arousing. They had never actually done it this way before – fingers had only ever been used for preparation... but fingers were accurate and precise, and could press and rub in just the right places. L shivered at the thought of it, and right on cue Light's newly lubricated fingers returned and began circling their target.

L closed his eyes and focused on the sensations. Right now, Light rubbing his opening was producing a vaguely uncomfortable heat that was enjoyable nonetheless. He started to dip his finger in just slightly as he rubbed, making L sigh and squirm, and then one finger slowly pushed in up to the knuckle and undulated, just gently. The pleasure was barely there and yet delicious, a sweet feeling that opened him up as the younger man slipped another finger inside, working it in deeper and deeper until L took his fingers up to the base.

"Mm, Light..."

Light kept his gaze trained on L's features, now relaxed and blissful, the rise and fall of his ribcage rapid with his shaky breaths.

Light's fingers parted slightly and moved, withdrawing halfway and re-entering to a pleasured shudder from L.

"Is it good?" Light asked, and curled his fingers inside.

L cried out, and his inner muscles trembled. "Ah! Yes, that's good!"

Light smirked, and curled his fingers into that spot again.

"Do you like it?"

L buried the side of his face in the pillow and rolled his hips. "Nm, yes I – ah – of course I like it..."

Light began to move his fingers more vigorously, skilfully manipulating L's prostate, coaxing him into a pleasured frenzy. Clear precum dripped from the tip of his penis and ran down the length with a maddening trickling sensation.

"Nnh..." L bucked his hips and started moaning loudly as Light kneaded his sweet spot, sometimes deliberately evading it and massaging the surrounding area, just to tease him. This only heightened his desperation and Light watched as he was reduced to a mewling, squirming mess.

Light released his wrists only to bar an arm across his hips and pin him down, grinning. "Stop wriggling so much!"

L just whimpered and twisted his hands in the sheets, arching his back, needing to move somehow.

The fingers drove in faster and harder, and God it was so hot, this unendurable pleasure.

Light felt L's muscles quivering and kept rubbing his swelling prostate, hard, and L was crying out in pleasure, tears bleeding from the corners of his eyes.

"Light..."

Light released his hold on L's hips and let him tense into a perfect arch. He placed his hand on the small of L's back and felt his body jerk and tremble as his orgasm took him over, fucking him with his fingers and finally engulfing his cock with his mouth, sucking and kissing at the head as it began spurting and L gave a long, aching moan.

He slackened and collapsed onto the bed and, as if surfacing, the ability to breathe returned. He felt Light's fingers withdraw, and the feeling of Light's soothing touch on the skin of his torso followed him into sleep.

Light watched for a while, taking in the sound of L's lilting sighs and his peaceful expression as he drifted off unaware. For a split second, the idea found its way into his head that he would have to return to the office or they would look suspicious, and the thought of leaving L was disagreeable; but then he remembered the handcuffs and felt an irrational, wonderful surge of relief. He was allowed to crawl in beside L and share in the lull, to snuggle up to him and breathe in the scent of his hair. He hurriedly tucked him in then jumped in himself and cuddled up to L's sprawled form, nosing into the nook of his shoulder contentedly, his hair tickling his face. He was too strangely gleeful to sleep and lay there awake for hours, absorbed in the rhythm of L's breathing.

It wasn't until nightfall when he finally drifted off to sleep that he regretted his earlier wakefulness, when L unceremoniously shook him awake and demanded they embark on a cake-finding excursion.

THE END

I don't know why I put the line "L was limp as a dead eel" in. Imagine a dead eel... it would make a good weapon. Or maybe next time, Light will use a dead eel to do what he just did there.

Also I just realised I don't know for how long they were handcuffed together and whether it was ever Christmas during that time. Oh well, it hardly matters given the lack of plot. Anyway, review!