Author's Note: Hey, everyone! So this is officially my second Victorious fic and a oneshot. It literally came out of nowhere, so I hope it's ok. A big thank you to my peeps, storyteller125 and Junosauce (not sure if she has a FF account), you guys gave me some much needed inspiration and encouragement for this :D This is a M-rated story just to be on the safe side.

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious or its beautiful cast. Just my own vivid imagination.

Something really incredible and bizarre just happened.

I can't even wrap my head around it, that's how freaky it is. And it all began and ended with Jade West. I wouldn't say that I hate her exactly, but she does constantly bust my balls about the dumbest things all the live long day. All I did was kiss her boyfriend Beck when I first came to Hollywood Arts. But come on, it was just a stage kiss! It was a long time ago – get over it already, chick! If she hadn't been such a gank to me from the start, it probably would never have happened.

Which is why I don't get what just went down.

It was a normal enough day, save for Jade being even bitchier than usual. We did some improv in Sikowitz's class while Sikowitz popped a straw into a coconut and drank milk straight out of the middle for inspiration. And naturally, that inspired him to pair me and Jade off for an improvised sketch involving the two of us playing volleyball players who discover a lost puppy on our beach towel. But before we even got to the end of our allotted time, Jade still found a way to hit me in the back of the head with Sikowitz's big beach ball before saying a really insincere 'oops'.

Aargh!

What is her problem?

So there I am on stage in the Black Box nursing a bruise on my head while trying to rehearse through my lines for a new play we're doing. And that's when Sinjin decides it's cool to mess with the props and almost cause a fatality.

Ok, I know I sound like Trina with the crazy overdramatics. But it was seriously freaky!

Let me start from the beginning.

So all of us in class took a vote after the last play we did (the one where Cat gave me a zombie face) which basically said that Sinjin was no longer in charge of acoustics during any more of our major school productions. All because Sinjin kept screwing up the sound checks and playing disco music instead (who does that?). So instead of music, we put Sinjin in charge of props, which turned out to be an even worse idea than disco music.

So Jade wrote this play about vampires (finally, an explanation for her weirdness), and I play a girl that's in love with a vampire (figures). And there's this scene where I'm supposed to be running away from my vampire boyfriend in some nature reserve when he saves me from this huge rock that's about to fall on me. Jade originally wrote in the script that the rock flattened me into a pancake, but Lane made her change it (ha!) All Sinjin had to do was stand on the elevated platform above the stage and swing the fake rock at me and then Andre would stand in front of me and catch the prop in his bare hands – simple, right?

Ex-cept for that fact that Sinjin missed his cue and swung on with me with the fake rock at the wrong time. I saw it coming at me after someone called out to me and told me to look out. Andre dove out of the way (typical) and it just started coming at me, faster and faster. I couldn't move, all I could do was watch as this big chunk of fake rock came at me at full force, getting ready to pummel me into oblivion.

And then I'm on the floor, nursing a second bump to the head. But not because the rock hit me, somebody grabbed me and pushed me out of the way. I could still feel the pressure of someone lying on top of me, panting out hot breath sweeping all over my nose and lips. Then she's back on her feet again, dusting off her black skinny jeans and all I can do is lie there wondering why the hell Jade West of all people just saved me.

It doesn't make any freakin' sense.

Why would Jade West try and stop me from getting hurt?

She hates me.

Doesn't she?

She managed to slip out of the Black Box before I could ask her and everybody started crowding me, asking if I was ok and if I needed to go to the nurse. I finally got away and ran out into the hallway looking for her. But Jade was no where to be found. My head feels all dizzy, and it's not from a near concussion.

What the hell just happened?

Jade didn't show up for music class either next period, which confused me even more. She never misses music class – it's one of her favourite classes. Mainly because she never misses an opportunity to tell me how much my singing sucks. Why skip out on something that obviously gives her a lot of pleasure?

I was still thinking about it all through lunch, which is why I wasn't paying any attention to Robbie and Rex's latest gay-scapade. I eventually gave up and left my half-eaten French fries behind.

One way or the other, I'm gonna get to the bottom of this.

I searched all of the classrooms and couldn't find Jade anywhere. And just when I was about to give up and eat the rest of my lunch, I saw her sitting on the stairs above Sikowitz's classroom. This is gonna sound totally insane, but Jade looked, well…really miserable. She was sitting with her hands resting on her knees, her head bowed, her beautiful brown hair falling all over her shoulders, hiding some of her face.

Wait…did I just say that her hair was beautiful?

Nevermind, the point is that Jade looked really sad and helpless. I've never seen her look like that, not even when she begged me to help her get Beck back when she dumped him. It's kind of unsettling seeing her with her guard completely down, no sarcastic smile or tone of derision. A Jade with no walls up is pretty darn scary.

But I couldn't just walk away and leave her like that. No matter how bitchy she's been to me, nobody deserved to be sitting alone by themselves looking so sad. So I squared my shoulders and walked towards her, determined to get some answers.

"Jade?"

That got her attention and she snapped her head up to glare at me.

Uh oh, you done woke the beast now.

Quick, Tori, think of something! Jade looks about ready to push you down a flight of stairs.

Then she got to her feet, standing a few steps above me so that she looked even taller than usual.

I'm officially scared.

"What do you want, Vega?" Jade practically snarled at me.

"I…I just, uh…wanted to see if you were ok, talk about what happened back there." I mumbled stupidly, feeling like a total idiot for even bringing it up.

"What happened back where?" Jade demanded with her hands on her hips and this really mad look on her face.

Maybe this was a bad idea. So what if Jade saved me from a possible concussion? It could've been an accident. She could've been trying to push Andre out of the way, she thinks he's cool.

But I couldn't just let it go, I had to know for sure.

"When you saved my life back there – what up with that, Jade?" I asked in an attempt at nonchalance, which is hard to do with somebody like Jade around.

Jade moved closer to me until we were practically eye-ball to eye-ball. This is getting super awkward and terrifying at the same time. It feels like I'm trying to out-stare a raging bull hocked up on cocaine. But I couldn't do anything except stare back at her and hope I didn't look as freaked out as I felt.

"Let's get one thing straight, Vega. I did not save your life back there. I'd have to actually like you as a human being for that to happen, which I don't in case you've just been slow up till now. I would rather go to 'Build A Bear' in Northridge with Sinjin than be in the same room with you for longer than 5 seconds at a time. Get it through your vacant head once and for all."

"I…don't…LIKE YOU!"

Jade finally put an end to our staring contest and shoved hard into my shoulder so that I almost fell backwards down the stairs before she skipped down them.

I may have been super uncomfortable before. But now I'm just plain pissed off. Where does Jade get off talking to anyone like that, much less me? I take a lot of crap from her and I've let it go in the past to keep the peace.

Not this time.

She can't pretend that it never happened because I know exactly what happened even though she tried to make me think she didn't know what happened after the happenings of what really happened.

Ok, even that sounded confusing in my own head.

Grf, Tori! Jade's getting away and you still don't know what's going on with her.

I need some freakin' answers here!

This is way more mysterious than that stupid ping pong scam!

I was almost out of breath, but I was pretty proud of myself for keeping up with Jade's fast strides (man, can she move on boots with heels!) I gave myself another mental pat on the back when I grabbed hold of her arm and dragged her into the janitor's closet.

Yip, it's true: I am scary good at dragging girls and Sinjin into the janitor's closet.

Jade didn't even look like she realised what I just did until I shut the door behind me and flipped a switch, bathing the two of us in a dull light caused by a naked bulb hanging over our heads. When Jade eventually got clued in, she was beyond pissed.

"Vega, what the hell do you think you're doing?" she demanded in an irate voice.

"You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!" I answered, feeling strangely empowered for the first time since the start of this bizarro conversation.

"Vega, if you don't let me out of here right now, I can't be held responsible for my actions. No court will ever convict me for hanging you up like dead mistletoe 3 days after Christmas!"

"As much as I admire your witty word play, I need some real answers, Jade. You've been way gankier than usual today and then you go and stop a fake rock from hitting me in the face. What gives?" I spluttered in exasperation while throwing my hands up in the air.

"I don't have to explain anything to you, especially when you're concocting crazy stories about me actually doing something nice for you!"

"Well tough, because that's exactly what happened! And I wanna know why,"

"It's none of your stinkin' business!" Jade retorted, her pale skin turning red with rage.

"Yes it is, Jade! I need an answer."

"Oh really? And how do you figure that?"

"Because I've taken your crap ever since the day I transferred to Hollywood Arts. If you're gonna start doing nice things for me out of the blue, I think I deserve to know why," I protested, losing some of my cool too in the process.

Jade clicked her tongue in a dismissive way before trying to push past me again. But I was ready for her this time and blocked her path, my whole body covering the doorway.

Jade's blue eyes got really huge at this point and I couldn't stop myself from gulping down a breath or two. Maybe I should just let her leave after all.

Then this evil smile pops up on her face and that's when I know I'm a dead Tori.

She starts stalking towards me, which makes me think about the Discovery Channel. I saw this documentary one time about cheetahs chasing antelopes through the savannahs and ripping them to shreds once the antelopes stop struggling when the cheetahs catch them.

Jade is the cheetah and I'm the pathetic antelope about to get eaten. Having a safe word doesn't seem like such a bad idea right now.

Not the face.

But of course, that's exactly where Jade went.

Except, I was kinda waiting for her to punch me in the face, not kiss me.

Jade's kissing me!

Her lips are pressed up against mine, like she's trying to hold me in place. And her tongue is flicking against my mouth, just enough for me to feel the pressure behind her actions. Her mouth is so soft and velvety, just like Aunt Sonya's favourite fluffy carpet on her bedroom floor that I like to take naps on sometimes when I visit. I can practically feel the anger radiating off of Jade like waves of red hot flames, but she's kissing me, really kissing me like she means it.

What the hell is she doing?

Why is Jade kissing me?

My brain's screaming at me to run for my life or knee Jade in her female parts. But I can't move, it's like I'm paralysed from the waist down. It's mostly because I'm scared shitless right now. And then there's this other part of me that's both surprised and curious by what she's doing. A part of me, as perverse as this sounds, wants to see just exactly what's on the other side of this kiss.

Then I get really scared when Jade pushes her body right up against mine, trapping me between her and the door, the knob nudging me in the small of my back. But everything changes when she moans against my mouth and I feel an unfamiliar throbbing, bordering on achingly sweet, pain vibrating between my legs.

Oh my God, am I actually turned on by Jade kissing me?

Despite my brain's protests, my body seems to agree as I press our chests closer together and start kissing her back in spite of myself. I feel her mouth stretch outwards like she's got a big ol' grin on her face and for the moment that makes me a little pleased with myself.

Then Jade's fingers are on the zipper of my skinny jeans and I start panicking all over again.

"Jade, don't…"

Jade gives me this look that could either mean 'trust me' or 'shut the fuck up'. Either way, I don't say another word. The added pressure of the zipper brushing against my panties as Jade pulled them down only served to turn me on more. At this point, my brain was just an untidy ball of crazy hormones flashing red against the lids of my eyes, and it was all because of Jade.

Her lips finally leave mine and start trailing lower over my sweaty skin (is it hot in here?), pressing hungrily against my jawline. Ow, did she just bite my neck? Doesn't matter because my stomach started doing these weird cartwheels after Jade unsnapped the button above my zipper. Then two of her fingers snuck in there and started touching me over my panties, which made me lose my mind completely.

From there, I stopped thinking altogether and just went along for the ride with Jade touching me, our lips brushing roughly and untidily together in quick spurts of adrenaline and passion. I was moaning, groaning, squealing, breathing like I'd just run a marathon – Jade was making me do and feel things I've never experienced before.

My hips started grinding up against hers and Jade took the hint, moving her fingers even faster on me. I closed my eyes and moaned sharply when Jade hooked her free hand around my neck, holding me prisoner against her, hot breath on my cheek and oh so moist when she started whispering things in my ear too filthy to repeat in front of people. My heart was hammering so hard in my chest, it felt like it was going to explode.

"Ja-aa-ade…" I mumble, my back arching away from the door, my stomach vibrating with the intensity of Jade's hands all over my body.

That's when I realise that I don't want Jade to stop doing what she's doing to me. I want her to keep going - the hell with the consequences. This feels too damn good to start being sensible about it.

Then out of nowhere, I felt a cold breeze against my chest. I open my eyes and realise that Jade's weight isn't on me anymore and that she's put some distance between us. I can't even explain to my brain why I'm actually disappointed by this fact.

Jade is breathing pretty heavily, blue eyes as wide as ever, her lips swollen around the edges from kissing me. Her hands are fisted into knuckles at her sides and she's not making eye contact with me. All I can do is watch her and figure out what just happened here.

Jade and Beck broke up 2 weeks ago, pretty much like the last time they broke up. I never even questioned why she broke up with him again; I was just happy that she didn't ask me for help with getting him back or buying some crazy dog that attacked his Dad.

I didn't think about it, but I'm thinking about it now.

Jade breaking up with Beck out of nowhere.

Jade being extra mean to me lately for no apparent reason.

Does she like me now?

"Jade…" I tried, feeling like there was a gigantic frog in my throat.

She snapped up her head when I said her name and then she was really looking at me like she wanted to kill me.

Shit.

For the second time in the day, Jade pushed me. But this time, my head hit the back of the door.

Ow!

That's gonna leave a mark.

Then Jade was leaning in really close to me, our noses practically grazing. The moment had clearly passed; I wasn't turned on anymore, just 100% terrified.

"This never happened – you got it?" Jade hissed, her eyes raking over my body one last time.

I don't know if I nodded or shook my head, my whole body was shaking like crazy at this point.

"Tell anyone and you die."

When my senses finally came back to me, I was leaning against the wall and Jade was gone, the door to the janitor's closet swinging on its hinges with a loud squeak. I couldn't see what I looked like, but I must've looked really weird: zipper undone on my jeans, my hair a mess, my lips swollen, my whole face red like a tomato and my eyes wide with shock. I lifted myself away from the wall and began massaging the back of my head where a lump was quickly forming, trying to make sense of the weirdest day of my life.

Ok, I guess that makes it 3 knocks to the head caused by Jade in one day.

Butternut!

Author's Note: I hope you guys liked that. This came out a lot more bizarre than I initially anticipated, but I suppose that's the only way I can adequately describe Tori and Jade's dynamic in the show ;D Alas, this is just a oneshot. If I ever decide to turn this into a multi-chapter fic, you'll all be the first to know, or Twitter. I like to tweet...A LOT. Take care of yourselves, have a great weekend!